Life of the Party (15 page)

“You can’t hold
your liquor.” Charlie accused. She laughed from her perch on top of
the counter and poured herself another shot.

“Can too.” I
stared blurrily at the TV screen. Noise was definitely coming from
the box but I couldn’t make out the picture. I lit my cigarette
after a few unsuccessful tries and smoked quietly a moment, a
bizarre perma-grin plastered to my face.

“Wooooh!”
Charlie exclaimed again. I heard the sound of glass striking the
counter. I smiled, even though I was already smiling.

“One day, maybe
you’ll be able to out drink me … maybe ….” Charlie’s voice floated
to me from somewhere, but I couldn’t really hear her anymore. I
wasn’t paying attention. The room started to spin. My lips went
numb. My mouth started to sweat.

“Charlie ….” I
groaned.

“Oh, shit,
here.” She ran to me at the same time that I pushed myself off the
chair. Her hands grasped me around the waist and she ushered me
towards the bathroom as quickly as possible, but I knew I wasn’t
going to make it. Just as we reached the door, I fell to the ground
and threw up all over myself. The smell was revolting.

“Dammit,
Mackenzie. Get up.” I felt Charlie yank me up to the toilet by my
armpits, just in time for me to retch again. My entire body heaved.
My nose burned. I could feel tears squeezing from my eyes.

“There’s not
much to clean up, it’s all over you.” She was saying. She undid my
jeans and pulled them off, manipulating my slack arms to strip the
shirt from me as well.

“Damn, girl.
When did you last eat something? It’s like, entirely clear.”

“Dunno …,” I
mumbled. I spit into the toilet and experimented with opening my
eyes. The room had stopped spinning. The floor in the bathroom was
cold; it felt nice. I blinked stupidly into the bowl for a minute,
then lifted my head and rested it on the seat. Charlie flushed the
toilet.

“Better?” She
asked, standing over me, grinning. She was holding my hair,
smoothing it back with her hand.

“I think so.” I
nodded.

“Can you get
up?”

“I’ll try.”
Already I felt better. Less sick, but still drunk. Weakly I pushed
myself up off the floor, using Charlie’s hands to help me.

“Good?” She
wondered, once I was standing. I nodded again.

“Okay. Go to
the kitchen and get some crackers or something to eat. I’ll go find
you some clothes to wear and deal with … these …,” she held my
soiled clothes far away from her body and made a face. I
giggled.

“Okay. Okay.
Thanks Charlie … my love ….” I leaned against the wall for support,
laughing, and made my way to the kitchen as she headed in the other
direction. I felt great now, happy and less spinney.

“One shot …
hey! More tequila ….” I sang to myself, giggling as I opened and
slammed Charlie’s cupboards, looking for crackers. “Two shots …
hey, hey!” I did a little spin, grabbed a cigarette, lit it, and
blew the smoke at the overhead light, still dancing. “Three shots,
hey ….”

Holy crap. I
stopped dead in my tracks and stared, my jaw open in horror, my
cheeks flaming a sudden, alarming red. I covered my mouth with my
hand.

“How long have
you been standing there?” I asked, my voice barely a squeak, full
of embarrassment.

“A few
minutes.” Grey cleared his throat and smirked sexily at me. He had
a large blue Tool hoodie on—it brought out the blue of his eyes.
His hair was hidden beneath a black Spitfire hat. “Long enough to
see the show. And you think I’m talented.”

He was
referring to my stupid little song and dance number. I put my head
in my hands and laughed. “Well, we were doing tequila, and I just
thought the song fit.”

“Mackenzie?”

“Yes?” I looked
up at him, biting my lip. He stared at me, and I watched as his
eyes traced over my figure, from my calves to my face, slowly,
taking in every detail. The heat returned to my cheeks.

“What?” I
repeated. His glanced up at my eyes again, distracted from his
study by the sound of my voice. Grey’s expression was hard to read,
but his blue eyes seemed … soft somehow. Like he was thinking
tender thoughts.

“Um …,” he
smiled at me again, and then pointed downwards, motioning for me to
look at myself. I grimaced. Did I have a big patch of vomit on me
somewhere? But I thought Charlie had said it was clear …?

And then I
realized. I gasped in renewed horror. Looking down, I had expected
to see my shirt and jeans … but was greeted instead by the sight of
my pink bra, the tight skin of my stomach, my belly button ring and
my black VS boy shorts. I was in my bra and panties. I was in my
underwear. In front of Grey. I looked up at him quickly in
humiliation.

His face
comforted me though. Grey was staring at me with admiration. He
smiled, and looked me over again. I didn’t know what to do; I was
torn, wanting to both cover myself up but also wanting him to see.
I hoped I looked okay. I hoped I looked skinny and pretty. I knew
if I hadn’t been drunk, I’d never
still
be standing there in
my underwear. I would’ve died of embarrassment by now.

“I threw up …,”
was my explanation. I shrugged, and smiled at him.

“Thank goodness
for that.” He grinned.

“What are you …
what are you doing here?” I wondered. “This was supposed to be
girls only. Hence ….” I waved a hand over myself and the obvious
lack of clothing.

“This is what
girls do at sleepovers?” he smirked again, “I’m getting invited to
the next one.” I giggled with him. “No. I don’t know. Zack told me
to meet him here after practice. He just had to go pick up some
shit. Oh, wait.” He turned and looked out the window at the
headlights that shone up suddenly. “Here they are now. Take
this.”

Quickly Grey
unzipped his hoodie, revealing a plain white tee underneath, and
stepped over to me. I prayed I didn’t smell like tequila vomit. He
held up the sweater and I turned to shove my arms through the
sleeves, my skin tingling at the proximity of his body to my bare
flesh. I turned around again and he slowly zipped the sweater up,
his fingertips brushing me lightly as he did so, sending shivers
through me. My body sang at his touch, however slight. I somehow
found the courage to meet his eyes. We stood so close … the air
between us was charged, thick almost. I swallowed and parted my
lips ….

“Oh yeah, man.
That was awesome. We’re going to kick ass tomorrow.” The front door
slammed. We were jarred out of our moment. I stepped back from Grey
and leaned behind the island for added modesty as Zack and Alex
barged through the door. I took a deep, steadying breath. My cheeks
were still flushed. I hoped Alex and Zack wouldn’t notice.

Grey’s hoodie
smelt amazing. I took the opportunity while the guys greeted each
other to bury my nose in the soft, warm fabric that had rested near
his neck. It was warm, sweet but masculine, with the hint of
cigarette smoke. I breathed deep.

“What is going
on out here?” Charlie emerged into the living area, her hands on
her hips, though a smile played on her lips. She laughed as Zack
kissed her quickly. “I thought I told you we were having a girls
night.”

“Oh, yeah. We
vetoed that.” Zack grinned and placed a box of beer on the counter.
The bottles clinked together.

“Hey Mac. Nice
outfit.” Alex winked at me, passing by on his way to the
fridge.

“Thanks. I
threw up.” I mumbled in embarrassment.

“No, thank you.
For the update.” He laughed, tossing a lank of browny-blonde hair
from his eyes. “I recognize the sweater.”

“Looks good on
her, don’t you think?” Grey asked. He was alarmingly close again,
standing just behind me. His hand trailed lightly down my arm.
“Looks better off.” He said quietly, for my ears only, I’m sure. I
smiled.

“Mackenzie,
what are you wearing?” Charlie shook her head at me. “I laid out
some clothes for you in the bedroom.”

“Okay, thanks.”
I hurried quickly out of the room.

“Yeah, thanks
Charlie.” Grey repeated. But his tone was sarcastic.

I took one last
look in the mirror. Charlie had leant me a snug, long sleeved black
t-shirt and some jeans. The pants were a little long, but I looked
pretty good.

“Are the
clothes okay? I thought they were a little more your style.”
Charlie stood behind me, handing me a cigarette. I took a drag.

“They’re great,
thanks.”

“No problem.”
Her eyes were still bright with laughter—she nearly peed herself
when she heard my embarrassing story with Grey. “Well, that’s what
you get for making me clean up your puke.” She had said.

I apologized
profusely, again, feeling like a total tool for throwing up all
over myself and her bathroom. Like a nube who couldn’t hold her
alcohol. She just chuckled. “It happens to the best of us.” She
insisted.

When we came
back out of her bedroom, the guys were doing some rails. I declined
regrettably; Charlie had forbidden me from taking anything until
I’d had something to eat. I honestly couldn’t remember the last
time I had sat down to a meal or even a snack. It was definitely
before the night we’d gone clubbing. And that was at least two days
ago.

“What are you
doing?” Zack asked, pinching his nose and sniffing as he watched
Charlie move around the kitchen.

“Making
Mackenzie something to eat … she hasn’t eaten in like, three
days.”

“What are you,
anorexic?” He wondered.

“Not on
purpose.” I handed Grey back his sweater. I made Charlie sniff it,
and then re-sniff it, just to make sure it didn’t smell like vomit.
She gave it the green light, but insisted on spritzing it lightly
with some perfume before giving it back to him. She had sprayed
some of the same on me as well.

I sat down on
the couch and lit a smoke. I couldn’t believe what had happened and
I really didn’t know how to behave around Grey now … now that’d
he’d seen basically everything. And really hadn’t seemed to mind. I
reminded myself that it didn’t mean anything. Of course Grey hadn’t
minded, what heterosexual guy would object to seeing a half-naked
chick? He was just in it for fun. He was just in it for fun. I had
to keep running the sentence over in my head. I wouldn’t be the
stupid, naïve seventeen year old again. I could be mature like
them. I could keep my cool. I could have fun and make out with a
boy without forming any kind of attachment.

Yeah right.

I knew I didn’t
have a hope. I knew I would be passionately in love with Grey, no
matter what I told myself. He could yell at me and call me names
and spit on me and kick me in the street and I would still love
him. He just had that hold on me. Like Riley said … he had a
“power” over me. It was true.

I watched Grey
from the couch … watched the way he moved, the way he chased a
rail, the way he smiled and laughed and adjusted the hat on his
head. I sighed and wished fleetingly that he could feel more for me
than just a passing interest. Wished he would look at me as more
than someone to fool around with. But I also knew it didn’t matter,
not now. I would be whatever Grey would let me be.

As if he could
hear my thoughts, when they were done, Grey sauntered over and
joined me on the couch. His smile made me nearly melt to the
cushions. Before I could react to him, Charlie came and handed me a
plate of leftover pizza, steaming hot. I thanked her, but looked at
the food before me feebly. I just wasn’t hungry.

“Eat.” She
commanded, her hands on her hips. I nodded and took a bite off the
end—it really didn’t taste that bad but I could tell it came from
work. She stayed until I had swallowed, and then apparently
satisfied, went to join Zack and Alex in the kitchen. They were
putting together a game of quarters.

“So, how does
someone accidentally become an anorexic?” Grey wondered. He leaned
forward, a beer in his hand, his face tilted towards me. I laughed
and shrugged. Discreetly, I set the pizza down on the side table
next to us, hoping Charlie wouldn’t see.

“I don’t know …
I’ve just been, preoccupied I guess.”

“Too
preoccupied to eat? You’re not sad again, are you? I thought we
cured you of that.”

“Oh, you did.”
I lit a cigarette and settled back comfortably. “I’m just not
hungry.”

“So, what
happened with Riley? You two work it out?”

“Um ….” I
frowned. “I don’t know, I guess you could say that. We decided …
no, I guess I decided that we shouldn’t really be friends right now
….”

“Oh yeah?
Because he’s leaving?” Grey took a swig of his beer, his blue eyes
totally innocent. I stared at him a moment, trying to make sense of
his sentence.

“Because he’s
leaving …. Riley’s leaving?” I tried to quell the panic rising in
my chest. I wouldn’t freak out until I knew what Grey was talking
about.

“Yeah, I guess
so. He came in today and gave his two-weeks notice. I guess right
after graduation he’s going out east with some chick to check out
some college or something. I think that’s what he said, maybe got
some of it wrong, but I do know that he’s leaving. I thought he
would have told you.”

“Yeah. That
would have been nice.” I raised my eyebrows in disbelief and looked
at the popcorn-stuccoed ceiling. Riley was leaving me, for good. We
had grown apart—rapidly, too rapidly to make any sense. We had
agreed not to be friends. And now he was leaving me. With the
Christian.

This was worse,
worse than anything before it. Even though we had agreed to go our
separate ways, I still knew Riley was around, I still knew that
ultimately if I needed him, he would be there for me. And vice
versa. It went without saying; it didn’t need to be spoken. But how
could that be if he wasn’t here? When was he going to tell me they
were leaving?
Was
he going to tell me?