Authors: Angela Verdenius
The silence this time was laden with something she couldn’t even begin to consider. She started to slide to the side, but a muscular arm shot out, a big hand clamped onto the bench.
Oookkaaay
.
Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders. Time to pull up her plus-size undies and face this head-on. It was ridiculous being nervous, he’d been sick, she’d been caring for him, it was no big deal.
No big deal.
She tilted her chin up, saw his gaze boring into her and swallowed. Okay, it was a big deal.
“You put me in the shower.” His words were dead quiet.
“Uh…kind of,” she hedged.
“Naked.”
“I wasn’t naked.”
“I was.”
“In my defence, you took your boxers off, I didn’t.”
Big lie.
“You washed me.” His gaze was burning holes right through her pupils.
She couldn’t hide the blush that slid into her cheeks at the memory of his big, muscular body under her hands, the sensation of their skin making contact, the face washer tracing over all those hard swells and…“Um…yeah.”
“Everywhere.”
No way on this earth could Dee continue to hold his gaze. Her own dropped to stare at his hard jaw.
Silence fell, the only sound that of their combined breathing, his deep and even, hers a whole lot jerkier.
Jesus, she thought her heart was going to pound right out of her chest, it was hammering so hard. Probably trying to hammer free and leave her to this humiliating scene while it made its escape. She couldn’t blame it. If she could have gone free, she’d have run like rabbit. Albeit a chunky one, but still…
All the delicious anticipation and adrenaline of mere moments ago was draining away leaving her feeling so small, so stupid, so horrible. For the first time in her life she didn’t have any fast comebacks, any put-downs, any cutting remark. All she could do was stay so very still and stare at that granite jaw.
His hand lifted, she flinched, but then suddenly that big palm was against her cheek, the thumb slipping beneath her chin to angle her head back, forcing her to face him. She kept her lashes lowered over her eyes, her cheeks so blazingly hot, misery filling her.
God, he was disgusted, so angry. Cripes, why had she even come here in the first place? She should have left, should have made Del come, or his Aunt, or made Moira do it. Hell, even Simon could have looked after Ryder.
“Dee, look at me.”
Not in this lifetime
.
“Dee.”
She couldn’t stop the glimmer of a tear, blinked it back.
“Babe,” Ryder ordered gently, “look at me. Now.”
Opening her eyes, she looked up at him through a haze of tears. “I’m sorry, Ryder. I didn’t mean to…you were sick, I had to cool you off and-”
“Shhh.” Bending down, he pressed his lips to her brow. “It’s all right.”
“I’m sorry.” She swallowed the sob.
“Sshh. Don’t cry.” His mouth slid down, touched one closed eyelid in a feather-light caress. “Don’t cry, babe.” A feather light touch to her other eye.
So gentle, so sweet, his mouth trailing lower.
She held still, her heart beating fast, her skin tingling where his fingers brushed, waiting…waiting…
A hush, a feeling in the air, a motion, and she opened her eyes slowly to find her gaze ensnared by deep, dark blue eyes, Ryder’s face was so close to hers, his lips so close to hers, their breath mingling as she opened her mouth ever so slightly, inhaling just when it felt as though all the oxygen in the air had been taken.
It happened so fast, so slow, so dreamily. His head lowered, his mouth descended, and then his lips were pressed to hers in the lightest of touches.
Oh God, his mouth was so soft, so firm, so seeking, tentatively touching, pressing, lifting for a fraction of a second before descending once more, firmer, a little more demanding.
Heat engulfed her as Ryder kissed her. It strengthened, lengthened, deepened, his hands sliding behind her to pull her close against him, and she gloried in the sensation of his heat and strength surrounding her as he bent over her.
It was her every dream come true, every lonely night’s thoughts given fruitation. Held by the one man she loved, kissed as though he desired her, held as though he cared.
She melted into him, into his kiss, her hands fluttering out to land on his upper arms, holding on, feeling the bunch and flex of muscle.
God, he was so strong, so broad, smelled so good, every red-blooded woman’s dream man. Her heart’s desire.
Heat swirled through her, pooled deep, nipples pebbling to push enticingly against his chest as he gathered her closer, one big hand spreading over the middle of her back to keep her hard against him.
His tongue slid over the seam of her lips, tracing it before demanding entrance. She opened eagerly, welcoming him in, groaning as his taste filled her. Hungrily she rose into the kiss, coming up on tip toes, taking what he gave, relinquishing what he took.
And he took it all, licking deep, sweeping through, drinking from her like a thirsty man, almost ravaging the depths.
When they finally broke apart, both were breathing raggedly. Desire raced through her, a tentative joy at the knowledge that he had to feel as she did, that he couldn’t mistake the desire, the heat between them, the -
oh God
.
One look at his shocked, almost appalled expression had her desire crashing, the joy crushed, the humiliation rising to take its place.
While he still looked like he didn’t know what to do or say, Dee’s flight or fright instinct took hold. A fast shove past him, a grab of the car keys on the bench and she was out the kitchen, down the hallway and outside, the tears falling free as she ran across the veranda and down the steps, pressing the unlocking mechanism of the car so that by the time she got there it was a simple matter to open the door and jump in.
As she gunned the engine to life, she saw Ryder burst through the front door and bound down the steps, his mouth opening as he yelled something at her, arms waving, trying to get her to stop.
Not in this lifetime. Not ever, in fact
.
His appalled expression, the shock. Oh God, the humiliation. No way could she ever face him again, ever look him in the eyes.
This changed everything.
She reversed so fast it was surprising she didn’t get whiplash when she slammed on the brakes as she swung out onto the road. Shoving the car into gear, she actually left a skid mark as she tore off down the road, leaving Ryder standing at the gate staring after her.
~*~
Jesus Christ.
Shaken, Ryder thrust a hand through his hair.
He’d kissed Dee. Really kissed her. Like tongue and everything, just kissing her and kissing her and-
Oh Jesus.
Staring after the car, he shoved his hand through his hair again, gave it a tug, swung around to stare sightlessly at the house.
Holy shit. He’d kissed Dee.
She’d kissed back.
Then she’d run. Fast.
He just didn’t know what to think. What to feel. Well, he kind of knew what he felt, it was pretty obvious with the boner he was sporting, but that was just wrong. Really wrong. Christ, it was
Dee
.
Dee and his boner just didn’t go together. His boner wanted to get with her, but - no, that was so
wrong
.
He looked back at the empty road. Cripes, she’d torn out of the driveway so fast he was surprised she hadn’t taken the fence and letterbox with her. He’d never seen anyone reverse so fast and hard, and that included a couple of drunks and one highly-wired teenager high on amphetamines. That said a lot.
Shit, what if she had an accident? What if she got hurt? He cringed at the mental image of her car lying crumpled on the side of the road, her body lifeless - oh
shit
.
Running back into the house, he grabbed the phone and dialled.
“Hey,” Kirk answered.
“I need you to put a call out for Dee,” Ryder demanded.
“You what?”
“Dee. She left here like a bat out of hell. You need to-”
“What’d you do?”
“Me? I didn’t - look, just get someone out looking for her! The mad sheila will kill herself.”
“Not without killing you first.”
“Kirk, do it!”
There was silence for several seconds before Kirk asked calmly, “So what happened?”
“She’s upset!” That was putting it mildly.
“She’s often upset where you’re concerned.”
“This is different.”
“How?”
“I think she was crying, she-”
All humour left Kirk’s voice. “Jesus, Ryder, what did you
do
?”
“I’ll tell you later.” Only if his nuts were roasted over hot coals first. “Just have someone go and look for her.” He hung up.
Right, he couldn’t count on the cops knowing exactly where Dee would run to, so he’d go and look for her himself and - Ryder stilled. And what? Do what? Apologise? It wasn’t as though he could just say, “So, Dee, about my tongue down your throat, that was a bit of a misunderstanding.”
Shit.
Whatever happened, he had to look for her, make sure she was all right. He’d deal with the conversation later.
Ten minutes later he was riding his motorbike along the highway, checking everywhere he could think of, but to no avail. Great, just great.
Maybe he should check her brother Vic’s place, see if she’d holed up there. Mind you, he’d probably leave with his nose bleeding and a black eye, Vic was pretty protective of his sisters, but he’d take it just to know that Dee was safe and not a road fatality.
As he headed towards Vic’s street a heavy motorbike drew up beside him, the rider gesturing him to pull over.
Recognising Kirk even with his visor down, Ryder did as bidden, keeping the engine running as he kicked the stand on and shoved up his helmet visor.
Kirk pulled in beside him, mirroring his movements. His steady gaze was calm, so that was a good sign. A calm Kirk meant that nothing bad had been reported yet.
“Where is she?” Ryder demanded. “Is she all right?”
“Mate, calm down,” Kirk replied. “Before you run your arse up a tree.”
Ryder took a deep breath. “I’m calm. Now where is she?”
“Phil spotted Dee pulling into her garage.”
So where the hell had she been? Not that it mattered, she was safe. Ryder sagged with relief.
“Then she took her pushbike and left.”
That wasn’t bloody good. Dee on a pushbike could go to a lot of places unnoticed.
“And if she’s as upset as you say, then you better back off and leave her alone.”
Ryder glared at Kirk.
Kirk just looked steadily at him.
“She’s upset, damn it!”
“If she’s upset with you, do you really think you’re the best person to be with her right now?”
Teeth gritted, Ryder turned to look at the road. “I’ve never seen her cry.” When Kirk didn’t say anything, he repeated, “Never. Not since we grew up.”
“You know Dee clears her head when she rides,” Kirk said. “Leave her to do it.”
“Yeah, but-”
“You of all people know her, Ryder.”
Yeah, he knew her, all right. Dee taking off on her pushbike meant she didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want to see anyone. It was her way of walking without having to stop and chat to people. She could go off alone, find a solitary place and…bloody cry her eyes out. Alone.
Just the thought had his jaw clenching.
A hand nudging him had him looking to the side to meet Kirk’s steady gaze.
“You want to talk about this?” Kirk asked quietly.
“No.” The answer was involuntary, but then he thought about it and realised it was true. He really didn’t. Not yet. “No.”
“Okay.” Kirk continued to regard him steadily, his calmness helping Ryder to settle just a little. “What are you going to do?”
“You worried I’ll go hooning all over the countryside looking for her?” When Kirk didn’t refute that, he sighed. “I’m going home.”
“Really.”
“Yeah, really.” Ryder kicked the stand up, levelled the bike.
“Ryder.”
“Yeah?”
“You know my number.”
Meeting his friend’s eyes, Ryder saw the concern in them. He smiled slightly, a little tightly. “I know. Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything stupid.”
He’d already done that once today.
He left Kirk watching him ride away.
The truth was, he was going home. Right now he didn’t know what to think, but at least he knew Dee hadn’t driven into a tree. He could never live with himself if she’d gotten hurt.