Lie to Me

I found that some overseas readers were having difficulty with the Australian slang, so I thought a list of the slang I’ve used will help while reading the following story. If I’ve forgotten any, I do apologise! Also, you’ll find some of our Aussie words have different spelling to the US. Interestingly enough, as I’ve grown (gracefully) older, I find a lot of our slang is bypassing the younger generation, so if a young Aussie says they have never heard a certain word, don’t be surprised! But trust me, I’ve used these words all my life growing up, and so have a lot of my family and friends. Does that make me an older Aussie? Heck yes! LOL

Cheers,

Angela

Australian Terms/Slang

Ambos -
ambulance officers

Arvo
- afternoon

Barbie
- BBQ

Beaut
- beautiful, awesome, great, wonderful

Bewdy
- as in ‘awesome, great’

Biccies
- biscuits. The same as cookies

Bikie
- biker, person who rides motorcycles.

Blinkers
- indicators on a car.

Bloke/s
- man/men

Bloody
- a swear word ‘no bloody good’, in place of ‘no damned good’

Boofhead
- idiot, simpleton, etc. It’s an insult, though sometimes we use it as a term of affection. It depends on how it is said and meant.

Boot (of a car)
- trunk

Brown nose
- currying favour, sucking up. Has a cruder description, but let’s not go into that here. Means the same thing!

Budgie smugglers
- men’s bathers, small, brief and tight-fitting

Buggered
- many Aussie use it as a slang word for ‘broken’ (it’s buggered), ‘tired (I’m buggered), and ‘no way’ (I’m buggered if I’m going to do that). Just some examples

Bung/Bunging
- as in ‘bunging onto something’, putting on something (bung veggies on a plate, putting veggies on a plate), usually in a careless or ‘easy’ manner.

Cark/carked
- die, died.

Chemist
- pharmacy

Chips
- in Australia we have cold crunchy chips form a packet, or hot chips known in some countries as French Fries

Crack a tinnie
- open a can (of beer)

Crash cart
- resuscitation trolley in a hospital or medical setting - used for life threatening situations such as cardiac arrest

Dander
– temper

Dill
- silly, idiot

Doona
- like a padded quilt that fits inside a cover and lies on the bed. Can have the warmth of two, three or four blankets, etc.

Donger
- penis. Also another meaning is a place people sometimes sleep in, such as ‘dongers’ on mine sites.

Dunny
- toilet. When used in the terms ‘built like a brick dunny’, it refers to something built solid, unmoveable.

Firies
- fire fighters

Flog
-steal

Garbo/s
- the person/s who drive and/or load garbage onto the garbage truck.

Gee-gees
- horses

Giggle-box
- TV, television

Got his/her/their goat
– annoyed him/her/them

Hoon/s
- person/people who indulge in antisocial behaviour. Great explanation in Wikipedia

Iced coffee/chocolate
- a milk drink flavoured with chocolate or coffee

Jumper
- sweater

Local rag
- local newspaper

Lolly
- sweetie, candy

Loo
- toilet

Lug
- face

Milo
- chocolate malt drink. Can have it hot or cold. Yummy!

Moosh
- slang for face/mouth

Mobile phone
- cell phone

Mozzie
- mosquito

Mug
- face. Also a cup (just to really confuse you )

NAD
- No Abnormalities Detected

Nong
- idiot

Nooky
- sex

Paddy wagon
- four wheel drive police vehicle carries four police in the double cab and has a filled-in imprisonment section in the back to place prisoners.

Panadol
- paracetamol, similar to Tylenol in the US

Pav/s
- Pavlova/Pavlovas - best dessert ever!

PCYC
- Police and Citizens Youth Club

Pedal Pushers
- three quarter pants/knickerbockers

Porking
- having sex

Primapore
- sticky patch with a pad in it, a medical dressing

Pub
– hotel

‘Pulling your leg’
- to tease someone, have fun at their expense

Quack
– derogatory term for a doctor

RAC
- Royal Automobile Club of Western Australia. Covers insurance, holidays, loans, etc

Red backs -
poisonous spider, black in colour with a red stripe on its back.

Rotty
– Rottweiler breed of dog.

Rubbers
– condoms

Sack
- bed - as ‘in the sack’ meaning ‘in bed’

Servo
- service station

Shag
- sex

Sheila
– female

Slab
– carton of beer.

Smoko
- morning tea and afternoon tea break

Snaggers
- sausages

Soft drink
- soda, fizzy drink

Sparky
- electrician

Sprog
- baby

Spuds
- potatoes

Stiffy
- erection, boner

Tea
- some people call the evening meal dinner. In my family, we’ve always called it tea, as in breaky, dinner and tea, or breaky, lunch and tea.

Thongs
- worn on the feet, same as ‘flip flops’

Tickled pink
- delighted

Tim Tams
- a brand of Arnott’s Biscuits. Yummy!

TLC
- Tender Loving Care

Toastie
- toasted sandwich

Togs
- bathers, swim suit

Torch
- flashlight

Toot
- toilet

Trackie daks
- tracksuit pants

Tucker
– food

Twat
- female genitalia

Twistie
– a brand of cheese-flavoured snack food – very yummy!

Undies
- underwear, underpants, panties, jocks

Ute -
small truck

Vegemite
- most Aussies find this spread yummy, many non-Aussies find it too salty. Here’s the hint - if you ever have Vegemite, use it spread thinly, never thickly!

Wacky baccy
-
marijuana

Wanger
- penis

Wanker
- idiot, also someone who masturbates

Waterworks
- crying

Whopper
- a lie

Yamaha & Suzuki
- ‘brands’ of motorcycles.

‘Yanking your chain’
- teasing

You wally
- silly

Chapter 1

“Dee!”

Lazily, Dee up looked from the magazine she was reading to the window.

“Dee!”
A flurry of furious knocks sounded from the back room door below.

Hmmm. Putting the magazine down, she got up from the sofa and ambled across to the window, drawing the curtain aside to peer down. The bull-nose veranda met her gaze but she waited.

“Deidre Miller, I know you can hear me! I know you’re inside! Come down
right now!
”

Like that was an invitation she wanted to accept. Leaning a shoulder against the window frame, she waited, a small smile playing around her lips.

Sure enough, after another flurry of knocks, a tall, broad-shouldered figure backed out into the yard and looked up. That dark blue gaze locked right on her, those sinfully seductive lips tightened and a muscle jumped in that square jaw.

Ryder Montague was furious, and all that fury was aimed right at her.

She gave him a little finger wave.

Ryder’s hand shot out, his finger pointing at her and then jabbing towards the door. “Now, Dee.”

She pursed her lips in feigned thought.

“Now.”

Okay, he was a little madder than normal. Good thing it was a Sunday morning and everything was closed, or every shop owner and their customer would be out gawking. Though maybe not, because Ryder, no matter how mad he was, would never make a spectacle of himself.

Pushing the window up higher, Dee flicked the catch on the flywire frame and pushed it open. Leaning her forearms on the windowsill, she drawled, “Something wrong?”

“Oh yeah, something’s wrong all right, you little witch. Open the damn door.” Steam was practically pouring from his ears.

“You sound a little upset.”

“By God, Dee, you open that bloody door right now or I swear I’m going to kick it in!”

“Really?”

“Don’t make me climb up there, Dee. I’m not kidding.”

“So are you going to climb up or kick the door in? You seem a little indecisive.”

“Dee!”

“Geez, you need to relax, Ryder. Didn’t you get any morning delight from your latest shag?”

He actually grabbed the veranda post with seemingly every intention of climbing.

Oh boy, he wasn’t just furious. He was - well, was there a word for it? She doubted it. “Okay, okay! I’m coming down.”

After shutting and latching the flywire screen, Dee dropped the curtain and walked across the lounge and out into the little foyer, passing the sideboard she’d inherited from her grandmother. Going down the stairs, she trailed her hand lovingly along the smooth, wooden banister, just as she’d done hundreds of times since she’d bought the newsagency and the flat above it six years ago.

Her own boss, her own business, her own flat, her own life.

And right outside her back door, the man with whom she’d grown up, had known since childhood, and was intent on possibly ripping her head off. There were other things she’d rather he do, but she doubted today was going to be the day.

Reaching the end of the stairs, she saw his figure looming in the stained glass that filled the top half of the door. The glimpses of his face did not look promising.

Opening the wooden door, she paused with one hand on the security screen handle, the other on the key, her gaze on the man glaring through at her.

Man, Ryder was one heart-stopping, good-looking bloke
.
Apart from the bad-boy handsome face, he had unruly thick, black hair that always seemed roguishly dishevelled. A lock fell over his forehead making her fingers itch to brush it back, or better yet, twirl it around her finger.

Not happening.

However, she could dream, just as she could look, so she did, her gaze travelling over him appreciatively.

The town’s resident paramedic and heartbreaker, not to mention player, was bare-chested. Dee feasted her eyes on his chest. Good God, the man was built, all hard swells and peaks. Tattooed right on his left pectoralis was some kind of weird-arsed sun thing, a black circle with wavy lines coming out from it. The tat itself was fairly mundane in her opinion, but what those wavy lines did to his pec was criminal. They traced the swell, hugged the mound of muscle, one tendril curling right above a brown male nipple. A small hoop pierced his right nipple. Man was a total bad boy.

Her gaze slid lower. He was dressed in running shorts which showed off a six pack many other men would envy and long, muscular legs. His feet were spread firmly, sneakers planted on the pavement.

“Jogging?” she guessed. “Or just in a hurry to see me?” Amused, her gaze slid upward to meet those glittering, dark blue eyes. “My heart's pounding at the thought.”

“Open. The. Damned. Door.”

“You know, Ryder, I’m having second thoughts. Letting a raging lunatic into my place doesn’t really appeal to me.”

Leaning forward, he bared his teeth.

“Opening to a rabid lunatic also isn’t on my ‘to do’ list.”

“You’re at the top of
my
‘to do’ list.”

That made her heart flutter for all of about two seconds. What he meant and she wanted were two entirely different things. With a sigh, she turned the key and pushed the handle down. “Come on. Get inside before you stroke out.”

The door was whipped from her hands and before she knew it Ryder was storming inside, making her back-pedal so fast that her back hit the wall before she even realised it. His hands smacked against the wall right beside her ears as he bent down to glare at her.

Blinking, she registered several things at once.

One, the heat from his body was delicious. Two, his scent - a combination of clean male, sweat from jogging, soap and deodorant - made her inhale deeply. Three, if she closed her eyes, she could imagine he was ready to ravish her rather than rip her head off.

That last thought had all dreamy thoughts fleeing, her protective walls going back up. Arching one brow, she met his gaze coolly.

Ryder could be intimating - he was all male, all alpha, all sex on two legs with a great body and a sinfully handsome face, and in a job that just screamed ‘man in charge’ - but she’d known him since they’d been crapping their nappies and fought over toy soldiers in the sandbox, so she wasn’t intimidated at all. Curious and titillated, yes, but scared? Yeah, not happening.

“So, what’s up?”

“What’s up?” His gaze narrowed. “What’s
up
? Is that all you have to say for yourself?”

“Pretty much.” Man, she enjoyed the way he leaned closer. That way she could breathe him in without him seeing her sucking in his scent like an oxygen-starved idiot.

“I had a date last night.”

Bummer. Her delight dimmed a little at the reminder.

“We had a nice time.”

Great. Just great.

“We went back to her place, started kissing, things were really going well.”

Translation: He’d had his tongue down her throat, his hands in her panties, and a hard-on. Wonderful.

“And you’re telling me this, why?” She poked him on the chest with one finger. “Unlike you, I’m not into hearing about others’ sexcapades.”

His gaze burned. “Her phone rang and her answering machine came on. It was Yvonne.”

“You had a threesome with the bimbo and the town slut? I thought you were done with Yvonne? Haven’t you ploughed that particular crusty crutch already?”

“And there it is.” His nostrils actually flared.

Her other brow rose in query. “There what is?”

“Someone spread the rumour that
my
crutch was crusty.”

Dee looked blankly at him.

“Yvonne was warning Jaci that I had an STD!”

“You have an STD? I’m not surprised. Jesus, you’ve been shagging your way through every willing female above eighteen and under seventy since you were fifteen.”

“Dee,” Ryder snarled, “Yvonne’s exact words were ‘his morning wood has dry rot.’”

Ahhh
. She blinked again, only this time innocently, or as innocently as she could manage. “No, really? How awful for you. Have you been to the doctor?”

Grabbing her hand where it still hovered above his chest, Ryder slammed it up against the wall. As furious as he was, he was still careful to ensure his knuckles hit the wall and not hers, not with the way he gripped her hand, making her heart leap in combined thrill and enjoyment as he leaned in closer, so close that she could feel his breath on her lips.

Oh Jesus, she was going to slide down the wall into a puddle onto the floor. His scent, his heat, his so-much bigger, stronger body bowed over hers making her almost giddy.

“Those words,” Ryder growled out, a vein in his temple starting to throb, “are pure Dee venom.”

“You’re blaming me for your STD? That’d be a miracle.”

“I’m blaming you for spreading the bloody rumour!”

She sighed. “I didn’t spread any rumour.”

“You told Yvonne-”

“I told her nothing.”

His eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I was merely talking to Del-”

“Ah
ha
! You and that trouble-making cousin of yours! I should have guessed!”

“Jesus, Ryder, you’re going to have a heart attack. Calm down.”

“Calm down? You made me look a fool!”

“Not quite.”

“Not quite?
Not quite?
” He was almost nose to nose with her now, the fury making sparks in his eyes. “You better have a bloody good explanation for this, woman, because if not-”

“Just settle down.” Placing her free hand on his chest, she shoved.

Like that would work. She rolled her eyes when he didn’t shift an inch.

“What the hell is the eye rolling for?” Ryder was practically breathing fire.

“No reason. You want this explanation of what really happened?”

“It’s what I’m here for.”

And wasn’t that a shame? But fantasies aside…

“Look, I was talking to Del about an article on STDs in a magazine. I just happened to mention that someone probably had some dry rot in his morning wood. Yvonne must have overheard it.”

“You said something like that in your shop?”

“Actually, it was in Del’s shop.” Dee paused. “I’ve said worse about you in my shop.”

He ground his teeth. “But you just had to say it in front of Yvonne.”

“Hey, I was just conversing with my cousin, I had no idea the town slut was hovering around behind one of the dress racks eavesdropping and getting the wrong end of the stick.” Dee smiled. “And I don’t mean the morning wood.”

Okay, that didn’t tickle his sense of humour. Ryder still looked like he could chew nails and spit them out. At her. Probably wanted to nail her to the spot, and not in the sexy way.

Time to offer an olive branch. “I’m sorry she took it upon herself to take our conversation and spread it around naming you.”

“Because you named me!”

“Ah - no, actually I didn’t.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. “So how did she put my name to the dry rot?”

Removing her free hand off his chest - her other still being in Ryder’s grip against the wall - Dee nibbled the tip of her fingernail. “Let me see…”

His eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared, and his gaze bored into her as he waited.

Seconds ticked past as she simply enjoyed having him so close, but when suspicion again entered his eyes, she dragged her thoughts to the situation at hand. “I said-”

“I can’t wait.”

“No, I didn’t say that.”

“Not what I meant.”

“What did you mean?”

“Dee.”

“Yes?”

“Get to the bloody point.”

“Fine. I said that someone in this town, a handsome devil and heartbreaker, possibly has a case of dry rot in his morning wood.” She smiled widely. “See? Didn’t name you at all. In fact, I have no idea why she’d even think I meant you.”

“So you didn’t name me.”

“Nope.”

“You didn’t mean me.”

Looking him right in the eyes, she lied. “No.”

He wasn’t fooled. After several seconds of just glaring at her, Ryder’s shoulders slumped, his forehead dropping onto her shoulder. “Jesus.”

Oh God, that was so nice. And unexpected.

“But you wanted her to think it was me.”

“Why would I do that?” Looking down at that thick black hair, she resisted the impulse to tunnel her fingers through it.

“Because you live to torment me.”

“Now that’s not true.” She lived for something else, too, but he’d never know.

That was sobering, making her heart clench just a little so that when he lifted his head it was to find her regarding him soberly.