License to Love (13 page)

Even that little worry didn’t dim his mood. This Christmas
season was looking up.

“Morning, Dale,” he said and wished he hadn’t sounded so
happy. If Dale noticed anything, he was gentleman enough not to ask. With the
sun coming out, Brent felt like spring was coming early.

They transferred the horses to the back section of the
pasture. The recent rain had started a puddle that turned into a small lake in
the front section.

Brent turned around to see Missy walking down to them. She
wore rubber work boots with a pair of Wranglers and a heavy coat.

“Cute, isn’t she?” Dale grinned at him. “So you two getting
to be pretty good friends?”

“It’s way past being friends.” He allowed himself one knowing
look directed at his friend. “But I don’t kiss and tell.”

Dale tried to wiggle the smile off his face before Missy got
there. “You just did, buddy.”

With Missy several steps away, all Brent could do was send
Dale a warning look to keep quiet.

“Want some help?” she asked by the truck.

“Couldn’t hurt.” He watched her come the rest of the way
over, but she didn’t look his way. He’d expected at least a shy smile. Nothing?
“Dale brought in a load of hay.”

They worked together to distribute hay to the horses and
talked to Dale like things weren’t different between them. Coldness settled
inside him. Dread of losing what little they had scared him silly.

They emptied the truck in half an hour with two extra
bodies. Dale acted overly excited about leaving for lunch. Maybe he felt
something off with Missy, just as Brent had.

“Let’s take the horses out.” He took her shovel and laid it
in the truck bed.

“A ride, now?” she asked, like the idea was from left field.

That tone seemed too normal after the night they’d shared. “Why
not?”

“Okay,” Missy said, almost smiling, and headed for the tack
room. She knew her way around and how to saddle her own horse. She’d promised
to learn fast and she had. But maybe he was a slow learner because he was
missing something here.

“Ready?” she asked from atop her horse. He mounted and
nodded.

He rode close to her side as they took the path into the
forest. The breeze rattled the pine branches, sending droplets down like rain.
Didn’t matter; they were dressed for wet weather.

“All right, no one’s listening. What’s going on with you?”

“Is there something you should tell me?” she said, concern
in her voice.

“You’re acting different.” He nudged Jeffrey closer.

“I’ve been thinking about last night.”

This wasn’t good at all. Maybe she had heard his confession
of love, and it had scared her off. That or he wasn’t any good in bed. After
the way she moaned, he doubted that was the case. “Second thoughts?”

“No.” She laughed, looking him over from his boots to his
hat. “Reliving it. I didn’t want us going all goo-goo in front of Dale.”

He let out his breath in a half laugh.  

“Don’t worry so much, Mr. Serious Cowboy.” She lifted an
eyebrow at him and turned the serious discussion into play. Trotting ahead, she
glanced back. “Coming?”

He’d never heard a laugh like hers. Quiet, yet suggestive.
Relieved, he kicked up the pace and caught her.

They came back muddy and soaked, but he hardly felt it. Even
the horses didn’t seem to mind. He brushed them and checked them both over.

“You sure take good care of these horses.” Watching him, she
patted Speckle.

“Some might think I overdo it.” He turned his back to pull
up Jeffrey’s hoof. “But it’s best if you catch things before they fester.”

He straightened and found her face had gone serious.

“You thinking things over again?” He didn’t need to think
after watching her ride. He needed to kiss her all over.

“Oh, I’m thinking about Dancer.”

Dancer. Guilt spiked through him at the horse’s name. “Yeah,
I’ll ask Dale to take him for a ride soon.”

He couldn’t go near the horse, couldn’t think about Ben. Or
that day when he should have been driving the truck and trailer. He felt how
she watched him but this wasn’t the time to tell her.

“You sure got dirty.” He grinned at her muddy clothes. He
had to force the grin, but she relaxed.

She fluttered her lashes. “Maybe we need a bath.”

He grabbed her hand so quick, she gasped. He whipped them
outside and straight to his house.

“Brent?”

“You said you need a bath.” He lifted one side of his mouth.
He threw open his door and pulled her inside. She tried to kick off her boots,
but he yanked her into his arms.

He pulled off his Stetson and dropped it on the floor. Their
lips met, hers feeling hot against his mouth. The clothes were in his way, so
he pushed her coat off her shoulders.

She moaned into his mouth as he kissed her. Pulling his
hands back, he jerked his coat off, tossing it over his shoulder to land on the
floor behind him.

“Bathroom,” he growled.

“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?” She murmured and
took a step back. She crossed her arms, grabbed the bottom of her shirt, and
pulled it up and over her head in one motion.

Have mercy! She let him stare at her white satin bra for
about ten seconds. Then with a spin, she left for the bathroom. “Did you want
to join me?”

“You little tease!” He reached the bathroom in five fast
steps.

She giggled. “And you love it.”

She had him there.

“Maybe I should do some teasing.” He grabbed her and turned
her to face him. “With my tongue.”

He didn’t look away from her pleasantly surprised face as he
kicked the bathroom door shut with his foot.

His promise of teasing wasn’t an empty one. Brent started
the bath water and then kissed her entire body as he undressed her. When she
relaxed back into the hot water, he continued teasing her with his hand. Maybe
it was pleasing, not teasing…

* * * *

Lying in Brent’s bed with him, she couldn’t believe how
satisfied she felt. He’d shown such care while rubbing the towel over her and taking
her to his bed. Before she met him, she wouldn’t have thought the same man
could match her need in the bedroom, then be patient and caring to her once
their passion was spent.

“Seems you’ve decided to stay on,” he said, low and quiet.
That’s what he’d been thinking about? She lay on her back with the sheet pulled
up to keep her warm. Under the sheet next to her, he leaned up on his elbow so
he could trace his finger down her neck.

“I knew I would from the beginning,” she corrected. “I said
I would prove myself, and I knew I could make it.”

He shook his head, a half smile coming and going. “I did,
too. I knew you could make it, but I didn’t know if you’d want to stay.”

Why else would she go through all this trouble? Just to
leave? Something happened in his past, but what? “Brent?”

“I didn’t know what would happen here. If you stayed or went
on your way... we were short a worker.” He kept his gaze off her face while he
spoke, and only glanced up now as he paused. “I didn’t want to replace Ben, and
I couldn’t hire anyone. So you had more power than you knew.”

“I didn’t think of it as power. I wanted to make it here, to
show I could.” And she had, hadn’t she? Pride filled her. It hadn’t been easy
to come here, stay and learn how to share in the work.

He’d been teasing a finger over her skin, but now he pulled
his hand back. “Are you staying now that you’ve proved you can do it?”

For the first time, she heard uncertainty in his voice, and
he lacked the hard confidence he’d displayed since she met him. This wasn’t
about the ranch. She asked, “Haven’t I proved that?”

She couldn’t hear him breathing. What was going on with him?

“Is that your answer?” he asked.

She felt him tense next to her. “I’m not going anywhere. But
I can’t make promises about you and me. We don’t know what we want from each
other, if this will turn into anything else.”

She couldn’t let it become something else yet. Russ had
whispered sweet things to her, made promises, and he’d been wearing a mask.
Even while she felt her trust for Brent grow, she didn’t trust herself to
recognize a lie anymore.

“Are you afraid it will?” He broke into her thoughts,
touching her arm again.

She was sleepy and didn’t want to talk about this. “There’s
no point in trying to predict the future.” Right as she spoke the words, she
felt a jolt. The future had been so uncertain for her when she came here. Was
it still?

She just wanted to be held, but he wouldn’t do that now. Her
own words made her realize that while she wanted to have plans, she was afraid
of setting herself up for another crash. She’d come to love life here. When she
thought about risking it for a relationship with Brent, her stomach went
flipping over in circles.

After a silence, he said, “I think you’re afraid of a lot of
things. Sometime, I want to know what those things are.”

That couldn’t happen, she wouldn’t let it. She sat up and
said, “I should get going before I fall asleep.”

* * * *

First things first.
Brent stood outside the passenger
side door of his truck at daybreak. In one hand, he held a lighter. In the
other, he held the will Ben had started to put together. Ben hadn’t been the
type to think ahead. That had been Brent’s part in this venture, so he never
expected Ben to have a will.

It gave Missy only a one-fourth interest in Ben’s share,
while the remaining three-fourths went to him.

Last night, Missy had shown him she wasn’t ready to put her
roots down here. Why was she unwilling to plan? To talk about their future? He
sure as heck wouldn’t give her a reason to take off.

Holding the will at arm’s length, he lit it.

Ocean View Stables had been his dream, one that he’d made
into a reality. He still planned on directing it, choosing where they’d go. And
Missy would be a part of it.

He dropped the flaming document and watched as it burned
down to a crinkling paper before he stomped it out.

Missy wouldn’t be up this early, so he went back to his
place for breakfast. He was lost in thought, waiting for his toast to pop up,
when someone knocked.

Missy stood outside, looking sleepy still in sweat pants and
a big coat.

“You could have stayed here, you know,” he reminded once
again, shaking his head at the woman. Why bother taking off during the night if
you’re coming right back in the morning?

She yawned and came in.

“Toast?”

A nod.

“Coffee?”

Another nod. She sat on a stool at the counter and laid her
head down on her arms. Since she looked asleep, he let her be. Why had she come
back instead of sleeping? It didn’t make sense, not after she’d wanted to take
off the night before. He dropped more bread in the toaster and started fresh
coffee. She hadn’t moved.

That couldn’t be comfortable. If she actually had drifted
off, he intended to move her to his bed, whether or not she liked that when she
woke up. “Are you asleep on my counter?”

“No.” She rolled her head and opened her eyes. “You get up
this early?”

“Why didn’t you just stay?” He didn’t get it, and that made
him mad.

“I don’t do that.”

“You always sleep with guys and take off?” That went over
the line. Turning his back to her, he grabbed the fresh toast and buttered it.

“I don’t sleep with guys. So I didn’t know what to think.”

His hands stilled. Her words and tone told him he’d come on
too strong, asked too much of her. Now what could he do about it? He didn’t
want to back off.

Bringing two plates of toast over, he sat opposite her. “I
just made a jerk of myself. I don’t do that kind of thing, either. Haven’t in a
long time.”

She looked awake after that comment. They chewed on toast
for a minute before he grabbed two mugs and poured coffee. “Sugar? Cream?”

“Please. Lots of both.”

He dumped them in, added just cream to his, and sat again.
He wasn’t ready to let go of their conversation. “I could help.”

“With?”

“You’ve asked about plans for the stables, but you won’t
talk about our future. You take off after we make love. I think there’s
something I should know.”

“No,” she said and looked down at her mug and took a quick,
jagged breath. “Unless you want to talk about Ben. About Ben’s horse and why
you avoid him.”

Jarred and unprepared, he said. “One topic at a time,
sweetheart.”

“Don’t you think they’re related?” She raised her gaze
finally, and he saw fire in her eyes. Why did she care about that? It didn’t
affect their relationship, not like her secrets did.

He wanted to answer, but didn’t know how to say anything
that could end this. They stared each other down as unease settled over them
like the fog outside the house. They in too deep.

She downed the last of her coffee and stood. “Listen, we’re
great in bed together. Why mess it up? Obviously, we’re not ready to share the
other parts of our lives.”

Turning, she went to the front door and left. He wished he
could run after her. He did want to share everything. The ranch. Their lives.
Their secrets.

But he didn’t know how he could tell her about his part in
Ben’s death.

Chapter Nine

He’d give Missy her space. They both could use time to
think.

He just missed her, and didn’t want to consider his reasons
for clamming up.

Because two boarder horses were leaving that day, he
couldn’t talk to Missy in the morning. After loading the horses into the
trailer, he paused outside the driver side door. He didn’t think anyone had
noticed how hard it was on him to drive the truck with a trailer behind it.

It was the one moment when he couldn’t push it away.