Lexan's Pledge (Starbright Novellas) (9 page)

“Please, Stian, just listen to me!”

“Why should I?” He snarls at me. “I guess now that I’ve gotten you here safely, you can go back to playing with golden boy back there.”

“It’s not like that,” I say, forcing myself not to be angry at his words. “We were trying to use our star powers,” I add, instantly second-guessing the words.

Stian stops walking and looks down at me, his eyes roaming over my face as if searching for the truth. He waits.

“In this old journal Lexan has, it says we should both have powers if the prophecy is true. Lexan can move air and I can call fire.” I say it all so quickly – our secrets spilled in one breath that I can’t take back.

Stian’s eyes narrow. “Show me.”

“I…I can’t. I don’t know how yet. And we have to be together, I think. Touching.”

“And
he
told you that?” Stian offers a smile, but it is cruel and bites through my innocent explanation.

“I’m sorry, Stian. Things are weird between Lexan and me. But please, listen. I want
you
. Not him.”

He comes at me suddenly, pushing my back against a trunk. The bark presses between my shoulder blades and his eyes pin me to the ground. “Good. Because you’re mine,” he says.

I open my mouth to object – I’m not his. I belong to myself. But then his lips are on mine and his hands are tangled in my hair and I have no more words. The kiss is rough and uncompromising and over too soon. His mouth rests at the top of my head, and I feel his breath in small puffs of heat.

“I know how it looked in Madna’s book,” he whispers. My stomach drops at the mention of his betrayal. “But the second I saw you, things were different. I’ll
never
turn you over to my tribe. Even if I have to trade my life for yours.” He pulls back and finds my eyes, commanding me to believe him.

“Stian…I’m not going back to Lexan. He knows that expectation ended the moment we decided to escape Asphodel.”

“I hope you mean that, Tre. Because I don’t think he would agree. I believe you, but I don’t trust him.”

He leans down again and presses a kiss to my forehead, his hands on my hips.

Just then Lexan strides past us on the path, grasping our unused bows. “Funny,” he laughs lightly as he passes. “I don’t trust you either.”

Stian starts to move after him, ready to fight. I clutch his arms, pulling him back to me. “Ignore him. Stay with me. Please.”

“I don’t want you practicing alone with him. You can do it in the yard.”

“What about Madna? And Rea? I’m not sure they should know, Stian.” I’m really starting to regret telling him.

“It won’t stay a secret long, Tre, especially once we start to travel. But if you don’t want them to know, I won’t tell.” He drops another kiss on my forehead. “I’ll just come and watch you practice.”

I open my mouth to protest then think better of it. Now is not the time to assert my need to stay independent. Our trust in each other is so fragile here, in all this wide open space.

We walk the rest of the way in silence, reaching the house just in time to see Lexan chase Zarea down the steps in a flash of bare skin and gray towels.

She shrieks and darts away from his outstretched hands, and laughter swirls towards us on the spring air.

“So how about that swim?” I ask Stian with a shaky grin.

Chapter Two

Madna takes one look at Mother’s bathing costume and clucks her disapproval. “Too warm for that,” is all she says. But when she brings me the alternative, I see exactly what she meant.

“Madna, this looks like underwear,” I say, blushing at my reflection in the mirror. The top barely covers my stomach, like a shrunken undershirt. And the bottom barely covers my bottom, like nothing I’ve ever worn.

“Rea’s is smaller than that,” Madna answers, mischief in her eyes.

I sigh. Rea probably looks like an actual goddess. I just look like a skinny little girl.

“You look beautiful, child,” Madna says, squeezing my hand as though she can read my thoughts. I sigh again at the word
child
, but then I square my shoulders. If I hope to command an army and overpower Keirna one day, surely I can wear a few small patches of material into the pond.

I step onto the porch and Stian drops his towel.

“Let’s go,” I say, trying not to laugh even though my cheeks are hot.

The pond is small, surrounded by tall grass and a few scrubby trees. The water is murky and still cold, but that’s nothing new for Lexan and me. A graying, wooden dock anchors one end, and Rea is stretched out there on her towel while Lexan swims laps around the perimeter.

Her suit is definitely smaller than mine.

Stian looks at her for a long moment and then glares in Lexan’s direction. We splash into the cool water, but I immediately want to retreat when small squishy things wriggle between my toes and unseen grass tickles my calves. I wish for the slick bald bottom and empty waters of the hot pool.

“Just come out into the middle,” Stian coaxes me. “Don’t touch the bottom.”

I swim hesitantly after him, finally finding a calm spot where nothing brushes my bare skin. I float onto my back and Stian treads water near me, droplets clinging to his jawline and tanned shoulders.

“Better?” He asks, slipping a hand under my back. I just smile and float and and close my eyes against the light, enjoying the hot spring sun above me and the cold water around me. I feel centered.

“Are we going to train again before dinner?” Lexan’s voice breaks into my content. He sounds annoyed, but I don’t care much.

I slit an eye open at him. “Fine. But we’ll do it in the yard.” Stian’s hand tightens around my waist, pulling me closer to him across the surface of the water.

“Is that what you want?” Lexan asks. His voice is measured and I don’t have to look at him to feel the anger sparking from his eyes.

I right myself in the water and stare him down. “Yes. It won’t stay a secret for long once we leave Madna’s.”

He makes a disapproving noise and swims away, towards the dock. A minute later Rea is laughing again and tossing her dark waves from her bare shoulders.

“I want you to stay away from him,” Stian says, glaring at Lexan’s back.

A flicker of annoyance starts in my chest. “Stian, we need to be together to practice. The prophecy links us in a way that we can’t exactly avoid.”

“Maybe. But you don’t have to be alone with him. And he doesn’t have to touch you.”

“And maybe
you
don’t need to be telling me what to do.” Suddenly the water feels too warm and I start to swim towards the dock. I have one hand on the wooden planks when Stian catches the other one. “Let me go,” I hiss and yank myself free, ignoring the pleading look in his eyes.

Lexan pulls himself from the water, laughing at something Rea said, and I can’t help but notice how his body has tightened and browned over the last weeks outside. He shakes the water from his hair, and Rea gives a little shriek as cool droplets land on her bare stomach. Lexan bends down to smudge them off her skin, one by one.

“Why don’t you just take her back to your room?” Stian growls at Lexan. Rea’s eyes flash in anger, but Lexan speaks first.

“I’ve thought about it, but maybe I have a little more respect for her than that,” he says, a smug grin pulling at his lips.

Stian curses under his breath and I lay a hand on his shoulder, worried he might haul out of the water and punch Lexan. Then I realize why Stian is acting this way, and I worry I might punch him instead.

“Come on, Zarea,” Lexan says, watching me with narrowed eyes. “Race you to the house.”

They run up the hill, laughing, and I turn to Stian, face flaming in anger.

“What gives you the right?”

“What?” He asks, confusion in his tone.

I shove a small wave of water at him and he ducks away. “You’re crazy jealous of Lexan and me, but you don’t want him to be with
her
either. You can’t have us both, Stian.”

“Watch what you say, Astrea. Zarea and I are different. I know what she’s gone through, and I don’t want an asshole like Lexan throwing her away.”

“Well, I know what Lexan’s gone through, and maybe I don’t want an asshole like
you
telling me or him what to do!”

“Tre—”

“You can’t have it both ways. Either you’re with her, or you’re with me. I don’t share!” I move to kick away from him and my foot connects with his thigh under the water. He catches it in his fingers and pulls me close before I can react.

My legs slip around his waist and the water swirls around our shoulders as he stares into my widened eyes. He grins, just a little shamefacedly.

“I’m sorry, Tre. I didn’t even realize I was doing that. Look, Zarea and I have a lot of history, and a lot of it’s bad. She’s assigned to be my protector, but sometimes she needs more protection than me. Our romantic relationship is done. Gone. But I still care for her as a friend.”

He watches my face for my reaction, and since I don’t slap him like I still kind of want to, he smiles like everything’s okay. “Besides, I have to admit: I like it when you get jealous.” He jerks me closer with a hand behind my back, his other hand holding to the dock for support. His lips press to mine and I let myself forget why we were arguing.

I’m so tired of all the tension and negativity, so I just stop thinking. Soon all I’m filled with is the sensation of our bodies aligned under the dark surface of the pond.

I trail my hands up his arms and around his shoulder blades, curling my fingers in his dark hair. Tired of being everything for myself, I sink into his strong, reassuring touch.

But the feeling of sinking continues until I feel as though I have slid down the side of a mountain and I’m looking back at the top, wondering how I will ever get back to where I need to be. The feeling frightens me and I pull away, a bright spot of heat pulsing through my chest – not unlike the fire I feel when I’m angry.

“Did you feel that?” I ask Stian. His skin is feverish and the water around us is no longer cool and refreshing, but overly warm.

“Felt one hell of a kiss,” he says with a self-assured smile.

I push away from his arms and pull myself onto the dock. I reach for my towel, strange thoughts swirling through my mind.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“Nothing,” I smile, hoping it doesn’t look as hollow as it feels. “We should probably head back.”

He groans but follows me, knotting his towel loose on his waist as we walk up the short path to Madna’s.

We step into the yard just as Lexan pulls Zarea into a kiss, not ten feet from us. Stian sucks in a harsh breath, and I feel the bottom drop from my stomach, blackness flooding in. They turn and I see a flicker of triumph in Zarea’s eyes, laced with a tiny amount of fear.

But Lexan just smirks.

And Stian just charges.

Lexan pushes Zarea away just in time to keep her from Stian’s blind fists and I see a grim look pass over his face as he blocks punches so quickly his arms blur.

“Fight me back!” Stian yells.

Lexan doesn’t answer and he doesn’t obey. I look at Zarea, who is frozen to the ground. I snort: some warrior protector.

The anger I’ve been hunting all day instantly floods my limbs and I shriek out a sort of wordless war cry, leaping between them. Stian lands a punch to my shoulder, managing to soften it at the last second, but the damage is done. My body presses backwards into Lexan’s, and I feel a rush of air and heat crawl over all our bare skin and explode into our faces.

Stian stumbles backwards and Zarea yells, pulling the towel from his waist and stomping it on the ground as small licks of flame singe the cloth.

All the strength and power leaves my body as quickly as it came, and I slump against Lexan. He grasps at my waist, and as my vision grows black and my knees buckle, I’m conscious only of his fingers on my bare skin.

Ten points of cool in a world of combustion.

When I open my eyes, I’m on my back in the grass, with the three of them staring down at me. Lexan is holding Stian back with a firm hand, but their faces are frightened.

“What happened?” I manage. My tongue feels like a piece of thick, dry wood.

“You called fire and burned a towel to a crisp,” Lexan says. His mouth lifts crookedly. “But nobody was hurt. Stian may have lost a few leg hairs.”

I struggle to sit up, and my stomach rolls into my throat. I lean over and heave a little, but don’t vomit. Lexan kneels next to me in the grass, his fingers resting lightly on my back.

“I can’t keep doing this, Lexan.”

“It will get better. It has to, right?” He asks, looking to Zarea for confirmation. She shrugs, uncertainty in her dark eyes.

“Everything all right?” Madna’s voice calls to us from the house.

Stian gives me a guilt-stricken look before walking quickly towards her.

“I don’t even mean the fire part, Lexan,” I say when he is gone. “Letting in all this anger is tearing me apart.”

“Because you keep trying to control it, push it down.”

“But I have to calm myself down! I haven’t meditated in...” I can’t remember how long.

“Try something for me next time. Just let the anger flow through you. Don’t talk. Don’t react. Just feel it,” he says.

I shake my head at him. “I can’t, Lex. Grandmother warned me about letting anger take over. It’s not good for me.”

“Maybe she didn’t know what you were capable of,” Stian suggests, returning with Madna. “She died when you were younger, right?”

“She had to have known. She showed me the secret room and everything. I have to keep the anger down. Controlling it must be the first step to controlling my power.” My voice sounds doubtful, even reflected back in my own ears.

“Or using it could be the first step to unlocking your power,” Stian says.

I glare at him: he has no business in this conversation, and he definitely doesn’t need to be siding with Lexan just now. I open my mouth to tell him as much, but Zarea lays a hand on my shoulder.

“Leave her alone, boys. Tre, maybe another emotion can be used. If anger feels wrong to you, try something else.”