Lex (Unconventional Hearts) (45 page)

Grabbing my waist, he forcefully yanks me up,
my back to his front. Hot lips are pressed to my ear.

“I can’t take it, Angel. God you’re so
fucking hot. Let me take control. I’m losing it. I can’t.” He jerks
inside of me and I moan. “Yeah that’s it, Angel. Feel me, you’re so
damn tight.”

“Okay.” I moan, chewing on my lip, starting
to fall back into the magical world of euphoric bliss.

His hand firmly encases my shaft, “I’m going
to pleasure lady and your ass. If it begins to be too much tell me,
but I can’t wait another second, Lex. I’m going to come soon, my
dick hurts. I’ve been holding off all night. I masturbated three
times today to prep myself. But fuck it that doesn’t help. You’re
too hot, so tight, too perfect. I love you, Angel.”

“I love you too; now make love to your
woman.”

He growls and nips my ear. “You love me? Damn
baby, you know how long I’ve wanted you to tell me that.”

“I don’t…” He humps into me and begins to
suck my neck, as his hands pump hard on my shaft, his cock diving
in shallow even strokes in and out of me. I lose myself in feeling.
“Fuck….” He grunts, and I barely hear him over my own moans. My
mouth loses all ability and starts to express every feeling, every
stroke, every plunge, every lave of his tongue across my sensitive
flesh.

Oh God! I’m so close.

“Gage.” I cry out, panting, my skin turning
slick with sweat, lost in a world of desire, lust and love,
consumed by Gage.

“Come, Angel. I’m close, please, come for
me.” The hand wrapped around lady jacks her harder and faster at
the same pace, he is plowing into me. That’s it. My body tenses, I
can feel I’m going to burst. My sac constricts and I heave one long
moan.

“I’m coming.” I cry, as I hump into his hand,
thick jets of my come shoot out and he roars in my ear, climaxing,
filling my insides with his come.

Sweetly kissing my neck, his hand reaches
under lady and takes off her jewelry, dropping it onto the
sheets.

“I love you, thank you. Now let me clean you
up.”

Holding my waist with one arm and pressing me
back down with the other; I’m left in doggy style again, his
manhood still inside of me.

Removing his thickness from inside of me, I
want to cry at the loss. I want him there. I love him there.

A tongue suddenly darts into my ass “Mmmm.”
He hums swirling his tongue around.

“What are you doing?” I ask, confused,
savoring the warmth of his mouth on me.

“I’m cleaning you up. I made a mess; my come
is all over you.”

Okay? He’s licking his own come from me.
That’s a little strange. Kind of hot though.

“You don’t have to do that. Isn’t it
gross?”

“Nut-uh, it’s needed.”

I chuckle, as the sounds of hunger derive
from his mouth while he continues to clean me.

“You’re kind of a freak.” I laugh.

Kissing my rosette, he pulls away and comes
to lay beside me with a big sated smile on his face. I missed
seeing him. I liked the blindfold, but not as much as feasting my
eyes on his handsome face.

“Yes, I’m kind of a freak. Don’t say it’s
like a bad thing.”

I smile over at him, shaking my head as I
chuckle a little at his adorableness, “I didn’t say it’s bad. It’s
different. Most men from my experience wouldn’t ever think of
tasting their own come. Let alone cleaning it off of their
partner.”

He shrugs, and reaches out fondling my
hanging breasts.

“Can I move?” I ask. I didn’t lay down
because I thought he wanted me like this. It’s kind of a fun
position. Who would of thought? I’ve never had sex in any form when
I was like this.

“In a moment, I want to clean lady too.”
Scooting under me, he sucks her into his mouth. Greedily groaning
in this throat, extracting whatever come I have left and turning me
hard all over again. At this position, he’s on his back, and his
dick is close to my head. It’s clean; he must have wiped off the
lube. Hum…what to do? I think I’ll taste him myself.

Eyeing down at him feasting on my body, I
take this chance, turn my head, and body just enough to reach him.
Lowering my head, I take his head into my mouth tasting a mixture
of man, come, and soap. He immediately stops sucking lady and tugs
his cock out of my mouth with his hand. Climbing out from under me,
he looks deep into my eyes, as I lay down onto my side.

Did I do something wrong?

“Why did you do that?” he asks, like I
shouldn’t be touching him down there.

“I wanted to. You’ve played with me, made
love to me and done just about everything to me. And I’ve yet to
suck him.”

“Do you want to?”

What kind of question is that? Of course I
do. He’s hot, his dick is just as hot and I love him. Why wouldn’t
I want that?

“Yes,” I blurt, like he’s a madman for even
asking that silly question.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you want to suck him?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You are sexy, I love you,
and I want to taste you.”

“But Brian used to force you.”

I hate that he knows this much about me
without me having to tell him. I know it’s good that he’s aware of
my past. I like that about him, but I hate that I haven’t been the
one to tell him. He’s known all of this since before we ever
met.

“Yes,” I nod, agreeing with him. “
Brian
did
force me.
You’re not
. I’ve only ever had his penis
on my mouth, Gage. I don’t want that memory. You’ve taken so much
of his hurtful memories from me and replaced them with happy ones
of you.”

“Of us?”

“Yes, of
us
. Why is it hard to fathom
that a woman that you’ve basically been in love with for how many
years?”

“Six.”

“Six years. A woman you’ve been in love with
for six years wants to show you how much you mean to her, including
sexually. I love what we do, what we just did, but this is
something we need. I need to suck on him. I want to taste him. I
want to taste you.”

“Why, why would you want that?”

Something is going on. Something he’s not
telling me. The terrified look on his face says it all.

“Gage. Has anyone ever done that?”

He looks away.

“Gage, honey, look at me.”

Still looking away, he shakes his head and I
reach out, touching his thigh, resting my hand there. If he wants
me to remove it, he will have to do it himself.

“Has anyone ever touched you there?” I ask,
in a gentler tone.

“Once.”

“And what happened?”

“It hurt, a lot.”

“I have a question.” I am keeping my tone
low, sweet, loving; I want to warm him up to this idea. I want to
take his pain away like he’s taken mine.

“Huh?”

“Do you think when Brian raped me and forced
me to suck his dick, do you think that didn’t hurt me? Do you think
I haven’t lived with scars? Physical and emotional? We both have
them Gage. I used to bleed when Brian raped me. My ass would bleed.
I’ve never felt more pain that when someone is ripping your insides
out, not even the knife scars. Look at me, look at this.” With my
other hand I follow the path of a long scar that runs from under
one of my breasts, curves up like the peak of a wave between my
breasts and curves back down below the other one.

“This scar, he ran over five times. Each week
for five weeks, he’d reopen it. It hurt a lot. But there is nothing
more painful than being sexually abused. Not even this scar.” I rub
it again, and he reaches out this time and follows the path using
his own finger.

“I’m sorry.” He mutters, with a pained
face.

“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.” I
reassure him.

“I should have met you before him. Then this
would have never happened.” His hand moves across other scars and
tears start to well in my eyes.

“I shouldn’t be selfish. You’re right Lex.
You’ve experienced more pain then I could imagine. If I had known
you before, I would have saved you from all of this. Tell me more.
I want to know more, from your own mouth.”

“If I do. Will you let go and take that
painful experience away from you?”

He nods. “It’s stupid really. I shouldn’t
feel that way, not about you touching him. I want that. I do. It’s
hard. I’ve spent over ten years never letting anyone touch him. Now
I feel like a complete fool for even considering not allowing it.
How stupid is that? The woman I love has been abused and hurt and
she lets me in, lets me touch her and I can’t give you this little
thing. I sound like a selfish asshole. I am a selfish asshole. I’m
really sorry.”

“Just because my past is littered with so
much pain, doesn’t mean that the experience with your penis getting
hurt isn’t valid. It doesn’t make it less important. We all have
our crosses to bear, some more than others. Now come here and let
me show you.”

I realize I’ve been through a lot in my life.
And for the first time I am experiencing real pleasure and real
love. It is hard for me to accept and fathom. It’s hard to get past
what I’ve been through. But what kind of life would I live if I let
my past control my future? Let it determine how far I can or can’t
go in life, all because of a dark cloud looming over my head. I
didn’t use to think or feel this way. Gage has helped me get past a
huge part of my own insecurities. He accepts me, he loves me, and I
don’t doubt that for a second. If this is the one and only time, I
can fix a painful memory from him, to wipe the slate clean. I will,
not only for myself, but also for him to get a fresh start.

Grabbing his hand, I trace a chunk of flesh
that was removed on my stomach. It sits about five inches above my
belly button to the right. It’s not the biggest chuck I’ve had
carved from my body by Brian but it’s a memorable one.

“Brian always hung me from the rafters in the
barn to hurt me, rape me, and most of all cut me. This one is
different. This one happened when I was sleeping next to him in
bed. He, for the first time ever, handcuffed me to our bed. His
bed, really, but I slept in it because I didn’t have much of a
choice. I woke up just as he had begun. I was a dead a sleep, weak
and malnourished from a rather harsh rape marathon from the night
before. He’d taken a ballpoint pen and drawn a B on my stomach. I
screamed shocking myself awake as the scalpel pierced my skin. It
was the first time he’d ever used one on me. Maybe he used it so he
didn’t go too deep. All my other carved out skin pieces are where
bone is beneath. That’s what would stop him. He’s hit the bone and
quit, like it was a marker for him. This time was different; it was
his brand, his initial. As you can see it still kind of looks like
a misshaped B.” I explain, Gage’s fingers tracing it over and over
again, listening intently to my story.

“After he was finished, the B he’d retracted
from my flesh was placed into a glass of water on the bedside
table. Then he gathered up gauze, iodine and a bandage. He never
cared enough to use antiseptic until the end, just before Linc
found me. He had started getting more creative with his cuts by
that point. Plus, I was always on a steady stream of antibiotics.
Not sure how he got them, but I took them to keep from getting
infected. After he was done that night, he left me cuffed to the
bed and went to sleep in the living room. He didn’t say a thing to
me. Days later as it started to scab over and I began to pick at it
to distort his B. Not wanting his brand to be distinguishable, it
worked, sort of. Better than how it looked when it first
happened.”

“I’m sorry.” Gage mutters, following the
roadmap of pain across my stomach and ribs.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. That’s all
I’m going to tell you for tonight. I’ve already ruined the mood for
more sex. So let’s just cuddle and talk, okay? Tell me more about
you. Since you already know an awful lot about me.” I lean over and
kiss the creases on his forehead. He’s face is stricken in grief
and deep in thought. It’s clear as day.

“Gage?”

“Yes, I’m just pissed. When you see the
scars, it’s one thing. To know how they got there is another. I
wish I could murder that prick.” His dark, malice filled tone
shocks me.

“I do too, honey.”

I push his chest so he falls to his back and
I curl up next to him, my head on his bare chest, listening to the
soothing rhythmic sound of his heartbeat. His arms encase me,
holding me close, as he finishes tossing a blanket across our naked
bodies.

This is a beautiful place. The stars are
breathtaking, as they sparkle in the night sky. The rooftop of
candles provides the right amount of ambiance. It’s beyond
romantic. I couldn’t have pictured our first time being any
sweeter. Even if it was a little tainted by our pasts, that’s just
who we are, a part of us. Neither of us perfect. Yet, together, we
can overcome anything. I just know it.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Sunday

Lex

“So how are things going?” My mom asks
standing at her workbench, floral shears in hand, quickly precision
trimming stems from a bundle of long stemmed red roses. She’s
extremely busy this weekend. I dropped by about two hours ago to
see how she’s doing. I ended up staying to help. Booked herself
solid all week, a wedding next weekend to do eight bouquets,
boutonnieres, twelve centerpieces and the rose petals for the
flower girls. Then she has a baby shower on Wednesday, has to dye
white roses blue for a giant centerpiece that she is crafting from
chicken wire and Styrofoam to make into a stork. You see all those
cupcake shows on TV where they craft dresses and other crazy things
out of cupcakes. Well my mother is the same, just with flowers. She
makes the Pasadena Rose Parade look like a bunch of amateurs. And
I’m not just saying that because she’s my mother.