Letting Go of You (Anchored Hearts #2) (28 page)

BOOK: Letting Go of You (Anchored Hearts #2)
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Cal found me that night on the couch
.  He set the food down and sat down next to me.  “What is it Cassidy?”

Without looking to him I sobbed, “
It’s too late.  It’s over.”

“What do you mean, with whom?”

Looking at him I explained, “James.  I ended it.  The divorce papers are being drawn up.”

He pulled me into his arms and assured me that I would be okay.  I just hoped he was right.

 

E
pilogue

 

~ PAUL ~

 

Summer 2004

 

Cal and I had less than a week left before we were due to return to base.  Cassidy and I still hadn’t had sex, but we’d done almost everything else.  I knew she was a virgin and I wasn’t going to press her.  She’d done something to me, something I’d never experienced or felt before.  That morning we were all sitting around the breakfast table, watching Dave, their Dad, make pancakes, while we ate eggs and bacon.  The phone rang and Cal hopped up to answer it.  I winked at her and snuck a hand squeeze under the table.

“Hey, Sergeant Robinson.  Ok.  Yes, Sergeant.  Understood.  We’ll be there.”

Cal hung up the phone and slumped in his chair.  I nudged him, asking, “What’s going on?”

“Sergeant says we need to report back tomorrow.  There’s a flight tomorrow at ten hundred hours.”

The silence became deafening.  The emotions that started flooding me took over, but Cassidy was the first to speak.  “But you have another week?  You can’t leave yet.”  Her voice cracked as she spoke, clearly the emotions were taking her over too.  Her Dad tried consoling her, but it wasn’t working. 

I wanted to pull her to me, but then our secret would be out and we weren’t ready to tell them.  Cal had already warned me off her when I saw her picture all those months ago.  I knew he wouldn’t be happy about it.  We’d have to walk him into it slowly.

“We don’t have a choice, Cass.  Sergeant calls.  We go.”

Cassidy
looked to me, then to Cal, then back to me.  Her eyes were filling with tears and my heart was aching for her.  “But.  I don’t want you to go.”  Abruptly standing, she fled the room as the tears fell down her cheeks. I wanted to run after her, but knew that I shouldn’t.

I made myself scarce that day.  Wondering the property, I had to stay away from her.  I was just going to make it worse for her if I expressed my feelings for her when we both knew I was leaving in the morning.  God only knew if I’d ever return to her.  Cal and I both knew we were headed to the desert
again, but that was information we couldn’t share.

I’d gotten an email from Cora that day, but deleted it without even reading it.  That was one thing that would change when I got back to base.  She wasn’t what I wanted anymore, not that I really thought about more than
what I wanted in the now, not until Cassidy.  I wanted to find her and hold her, knowing I may never get a chance again to do so.

Late that night I was standing in the hayloft, staring up at the stars when I thought I heard the front door to the house.  Her figure came into view as the moon shined down on her.  I heard her calling my name, just above a whisper and she was headed my way.  She deserved to have closure with me and I was going to let her.  She stopped and looked up.  I didn’t move and neither did she.  After a moment she walked toward me and I heard the barn doors creek open.

Climbing the ladder to the top, she found me in the same spot and I prepared myself for the confrontation I knew she needed to have with me.  I turned to her as I fought the tears that were forming.  She was perfection.  All that pale skin, red unruly hair and big blue eyes that broke into my soul.  She made me want to be a better man.

“Paul?  Are you ok?”  She walked toward me hesitantly before stopping.

“Cass, I, this, Jesus woman.  You’ve worked quite the number over on me.”  She moved closer to me and I put my hand up to stop her.  “Cassidy, please don’t.  I don’t think I can tell you no one more time.”

Ignoring
my warning she walked to me and wrapped her arms around my chest.  “So don’t tell me no.”

She didn’t know what she was doing to me.  My
arms went around her and I looked down into her blue eyes.  I dropped my lips to hers, tentatively, but it wasn’t long before the kiss became heated and we were wrapped in each other on the floor.

“Cassidy, are you sure?”

We were still clothed, barely, when she looked to me.  “Yes!  I’ll regret it forever if you’re not my first.  Please Paul.”

I
pulled a condom out of my back pocket and expertly did what I had done too many times before, but never with her.  She watched me slide the condom on with ease and she tensed up. 

“You can still say no.”

“NO, I mean yes.  Paul…”

Smiling,
I kissed her again and worked my way down her body.  The passion started to wash over us once more as my fingers glided over her mound.  I had to taste every part of her so that I’d never forget what she tasted like.  Soon my mouth was on her most secret part and the ripples began to wash over her almost immediately.  As her climax ended I knelt between her legs, sheathed, and came down over her.  I kissed her softly and she didn’t turn me away as my erection pressed against her.

“Last chance to say no.”

“Paul, I want you.  No one else.”  Wrapping her legs around me, I pushed into her slowly.  Jesus, she was so tight.  She was my first virgin and I wanted her to be my last.  I knew in that moment I didn’t want anyone else and never would. 

She winced as I pushed in a little further. 
“I’m sorry.”  I stopped moving, not wanting to hurt her.

“Don’t stop.” 
Her legs pulled me closer and I sank in a little further.  She was pulsing around me as I took a few deep breaths.  I needed to calm myself and give her time to adjust to me. 

She slept in my arms that night.  Naked, pure perfection molded into my side.  She smelled like summertime and
innocence.  I knew in that moment that I loved her.  How the hell was I going to say goodbye to her?

When she woke, we got dressed after making love one more time.  She didn’t come so I made sure to please her after.  I was experienced enough to know that these things took time, something we didn’t have.  She cried and in that moment I wanted to take back every horrible thing I had ever done to a woman.  Two weeks with her and she’d changed my life.

“Paul!  Where you at?” 

Cal was outside looking for
me.  She hid in the corner as I called out to Cal.  He didn’t seem to suspect anything, but I headed down and out of the barn before we could say anything more to one another.

When we got to the airport
she stayed in the car, pouting.  It was ridiculous, but I couldn’t blame her.  How would we say goodbye in front of her dad and Cal without them suspecting anything.

“It was a pleasure Paul.  You’re always welcome.”  Dave shook my hand before he hugged Cal goodbye.

I looked to the car one more time, wishing she could read my mind.  I love you, Cassidy.  Cal and I waved at the car before walking through the double doors of the airport.  My chest ached, it was a foreign feeling, but a welcome one knowing it was for her.

We were headed to security when I thought I heard her yell my name.  I kept on walking when I heard it again. 

“Paul, wait, please.  Paul!”  I stopped, looked behind me and saw her.  “Paul!” 

Once she spotted me she started running toward me, pushing her way through small crowds of people. 
Not bothering to take in Cal’s expression, I dropped my bag and ran as fast as I could toward her.  She jumped into my arms as I spun us around like I always did. 

I was aware of how tightly
I held her, but didn’t care.  “Cassidy.  You saved me.  I know you don’t understand, but you saved me.”

Giggling and sniffling,
she pulled back and kissed my lips.  “I love you, Paul.  I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.  I love you.” 

She loved me?  Was it really possible?  I looked into her eyes and knew I had the biggest grin on my face.

“What the fuck is going on?” 

I
set her feet on the ground, but held her close.  Holding my hand up to Cal as he scowled at us.  I turned her toward me and cupped her face as her eyes met mine.  I kissed her softly before I hugged her to me again. 

“I’ll write you every day.  I can’t ask you to wait…”

“I’ll wait for you.”  I kissed her again before pulling away, the smile overtaking my face.

“You lied to me,”
Cal was looking at her, his fists clenched, “and you!”

“Go easy on him Cal.  I pursued him, not the other
way around.”  Cassidy was defending me.

“Cal
…”

“Don’t talk to me.  We’ll clear this up later, when she’s not here to witness it.” 

She wrapped her arms around Cal’s neck and kissed his cheek.  “Calvin.  He’s been a perfect gentleman.  I promise.  Don’t hurt him.”  He groaned before she pulled away. 

Cal walked back toward security after dropping my bag at my feet.  I looked to her and kissed her one more time, not knowing it would be the last time.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

She
stood there and watched as we disappeared down the terminal.

 

 

~<>~<>~<>~

 

I had lost Cassidy years ago, after returning to base as my life crashed down around me
, all my mistakes caught up to me at full force.  I wanted to be there to pick up the pieces and help her rebuild her life.  I could only hope her heart would welcome me.  I’d loved her for a decade.  Losing her remained my only regret.  I was convinced that it was
our
time,
our
second chance.

It was killing me to sit
back and watch as her world crumbled down around her because of James; a guy I considered to be one of my best friends and now he was my employer.  She had to make the decision on her own, without my persuasion.  She had ended things with him and the divorce papers were being drawn up. Now it was my time to fight for her. And fight for her I would.

More from J.M. Witt

 

Cal & Jane return in

Fading Away

Anchored Hearts Vol. 2.5

September 2014

 

 

Who will Cassidy end up with?

Letting Go of Us

Anchored Hearts Vol. 3

November 2014

 

 

The conclusion

Finding Redemption

Anchored Hearts Vol. 4

January 2015

 

 

For a preview at the end of this book of

Ryker

By
:  Joanne Schwehm

Playlist for Letting Go of You

 

Superbeast
by Rob Zombie

Latch by Disclosure & Sam Smith

Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

Gimme
More by Britney Spears

Breathe On Me by Britney Spears & Ying Yang Twins

Serenity by Godsmack

I Get Off by
Halestorm

Just Breath by Pearl Jam

I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz

What Now by Rihanna

Breakin’ Dishes by Rihanna

Always by
Killswitch Engage

Fade Into You by
Mazzy Star

In This River by Black Label Society

Whisper by Evanescence

My Immortal by Evanescence

Broken Ones by Jacquie Lee

Poison & Wine by
The Civil Wars

Skin by Rihanna

Give You What You Want by Avril Lavigne

Better Than Me by Hinder

The Lonely by Christina Perri

Apologize by
OneRepublic

About the Author

J.M. resides in Metro Detroit, MI with her husband and four small children. 

Always wanting to write romance novels, she followed her dreams after having baby #4, who may or may not be the spawn of Christian Grey!

She hopes you’ll enjoy more than a good book, but have an experience.

 

You can find her at

www.jmwittbooks.com

Twitter @ wittymomauthor

www.facebook.com/jmwittbooks

 

Official playlist for
Letting Go of You on

Spotify

&

YouTube

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