Letting Ana Go (10 page)

Coach: Ladies and gentlemen,
this
is what I’m talking about. Trimming almost a whole minute off a five-mile run isn’t easy. It takes determination, and training as much during the summer as you do during the year.

Geoff made a couple of WOOT-WOOTs and then everybody started clapping. Vanessa just sort of looked at me. She was pretty quiet in the car on the way home, and then suggested we stop at Buster’s Burgers for lunch.

Geoff: No can do, lovely lady. I’m on a strict budget that I plan to blow on dinner and a movie with you tonight.

Me: Yeah, we’re all going out tonight. Let’s just eat lunch at home.

Vanessa: I guess. Are Rob and Jill still coming?

Me: Last I heard. I’ll text her to confirm.

We pulled into my driveway, and Geoff asked if I wanted a ride over to Jill and Jack’s early so we could all leave from their place. I told him I’d just meet them there.

I had a rice cake and half a can of tuna for lunch, along with three full glasses of water, and I almost couldn’t finish the last glass of water. I felt stuffed. As I was forcing down the last swallow my phone buzzed.

Jill: What r u doing

Me: Choking down 3rd glass of water

Jill: ATTAGIRL

Me: Rice cakes r tasteless but filling.

Jill: See you soon

I drove over to Jill’s about an hour before I was supposed to be there because I was bored, and because I knew she wouldn’t
care, but mainly because I wanted to see Jack. He had just finished mowing the lawn. He was wearing only a pair of gym shorts, and he was covered in sweat. I parked at the curb and watched him push the lawn mower into the garage, then he turned around and walked down the driveway, his whole body glistening in the sun like somebody had oiled him up.

When I stepped out of the car, he had this mischievous grin on his face, and he came at me like he was going to hug me. I giggled like a total girl and squirmed away, squealing about how he was going to get me all gross.

Get me all gross? It’s like I’m in sixth grade again. But you know what? I don’t care. Jack makes me laugh.

We went inside, and I talked to Susan for a second. She said I looked fantastic, and I felt really great about my outfit. We were all going to dinner and a movie tonight, and I decided to just keep it casual, but I blew out my hair and put on some mascara and a little bit of eyeliner. I forgot that the whole week on the boat neither of us wore makeup or looked in the mirror much, so it was probably shocking for Susan to see me with eyelashes. Mine are so light that unless I put on mascara they disappear.

Jill called down to me from upstairs, and I followed Jack up to the hallway where her room is. At the top of the stairs, he pecked me on the lips before he went into his room.

Jack: Gonna hit the shower.

Me: Do more than hit it. Go ahead and get into it. Use a little soap.

Jack (smiling): Wanna come with?

Me: Don’t make me regret organizing a triple date night.

Jack: This is a date, huh?

Me: That’s it. I’m leaving.

He grabbed my hand, held it up to his mouth, and kissed it while he stared into my eyes. I almost fell down. His gaze makes my knees weak.

We both realized that Jill had come to the door of her room when she cleared her throat and we jumped and turned.

Jill: Thank you for that visual. It’s as if there is a Disney movie happening in my hallway, only Jack is very sweaty and I think I can smell him from here.

Jack ran down the hall toward her with his arm raised, shouting at her to get a good whiff, while she ran shrieking into her bedroom and slammed the door. I was laughing when he passed me in the hall and paused.

Jack: You look beautiful tonight.

Me: You’re not so bad-looking yourself.

Jack: And in a minute, I’ll smell good enough to eat.

Me: Hurry up. I’m hungry.

He winked and headed into his bedroom. I watched him go,
then sighed and walked down the hall to Jill’s room. I watched her try on fourteen different tops and T-shirts of a startling variety. She finally settled on the first one she had modeled for me some twenty minutes prior, then spent another five minutes picking out summer sweaters for both of us. We live in a place where summers are hot and dry, but even though it’s still in the eighties after the sun goes down, Jill has an intense fear of being too cold in movie theaters. By the time she’d chosen outfit-appropriate sweaters for each of us, Geoff and Vanessa were in the driveway.

At dinner, Vanessa was on a mission about food:

Is that all you’re ordering?

You ran like twenty miles this week.

Just a salad?

You didn’t even finish it all.

Her obsession with what I was eating was so pointed even the guys started noticing her comments. Geoff looked really uncomfortable, and Rob smirked as he asked if she’d like to cook for us all next time, that way she could make sure we were all eating the right thing. Jill finally silenced her with an icy gaze and a firm tone while explaining that she and I were saving room for treats during the movie. This made Vanessa stop commenting, but also made her stop talking, and the rest of dinner was very strange. I saw Geoff slip his arm around her and
squeeze her shoulder, and suddenly I felt really guilty. I could still sense Vanessa’s eyes on me every time I took a bite, and again when I told the waiter he could take my plate.

Thankfully, Vanessa and Geoff had driven separately, and I’d been elected earlier by a show of hands to drive Rob, Jill, and Jack in my new car. The heady smell of new interior leather filled our nostrils, while Jack opened the sunroof and played DJ with my phone, which is synched via Bluetooth to the stereo system. By the time we arrived at the theater, the weirdness with Vanessa had been momentarily forgotten, and when we met her and Geoff at the ticket counter, she came with Jill and me to the bathroom, where we touched up lip gloss while Jack, Rob, and Geoff got tickets.

Jill and Vanessa and I stood in front of the mirror for a minute and laughed as Vanessa wondered aloud about the movie. How we’d gotten ourselves roped into seeing a blockbuster about killer alien robots disguising themselves as United States congressmen and the heroic Capitol Hill page who uncovers their plot to take over the planet I’ll never be quite sure, but I have a feeling Rob’s calves, Jack’s eyes, and Geoff’s grin had something to do with it. Somehow, the tension from dinner melted away in the bathroom and I thought maybe we’d get through the night without any more weirdness about calorie counting from Vanessa.

Then we met the guys in the line for concessions.

Rob and Jack ordered popcorn and large Cokes. The cups were so gigantic they appeared to be small barrels with straws. Rob wanted black licorice bites and Jill told him that he should under no circumstances expect her to kiss him if he ate black licorice bites all night, so he settled for Goobers. He also told Jill that
she
was a Goober, which she said was disgusting, and then he asked if she wanted anything. Jill and I had agreed to just get bottles of water because she had rice cakes in her purse for us to munch on. So we both got our water, and the guys balanced gigantic buckets of popcorn.

I should note that Jill carries an enormous designer purse she received from her mother for Christmas last year. In addition to being very stylish, it is large enough to hold a bicycle and still carry an immense amount of personal belongings. When we got to our seats, Jill opened her purse and pulled out a couple of rice cakes in a Baggie and our stylish summer sweaters, handing one of each to me.

Vanessa was sitting on the other side of Jack, next to Geoff, eating popcorn, and made a noise like a car backfiring.

Jill: What?

Vanessa: Those are your treats?

Jill: Indeed. These are the aforementioned treats. Do they not meet with the approval of the treat police?

Vanessa just looked at me and shook her head. Mercifully, at that moment the lights went down and the previews started. Jack leaned over and whispered in my ear.

Jack: What’s up with her?

Me: She thinks we’re not eating enough.

He held out the popcorn bucket.

Me (laughing): No. But I want a Junior Mint.

Jack grabbed the box before I could reach for it and placed it protectively on the other side of the popcorn.

Jack: No. We can’t open the candy until the actual movie starts.

Me: Says who?

Jack: It’s my movie candy rule. Otherwise, it’s all gone before the movie starts.

Jill (not whispering): SHH.

About the time the incredibly buff, young Senate page discovered the body of his boss had been inhabited by an alien robot who was headed to the White House for a “meeting” with the president, I got really cold and pulled on the sweater Jill had loaned me. Jack folded up the armrest between us and I snuggled into him. He put his left arm around me and I could feel his heart beating in his chest against my shoulder.

As the Senate page led a Special Forces contingent to a final battle against the alien robots on the stairs of the Lincoln
Memorial, he was wearing only a white tank top that had been revealed when his suit and tie were blown off in an explosion. Instead of rolling my eyes, I smiled to myself. Sitting there with Jack, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his arm around me, l felt like I was starring in my own movie, and nothing could wipe the smile off my face.

Afterward, we all went back to Jack and Jill’s, where Susan and James were polishing off a bottle of wine and insisted we all come in. Jill pulled a container of sugar-free gelatin out of the fridge while James scooped massive bowls of ice cream. The Jell-O was strawberry flavored and Jill had cut it into star shapes with a cookie cutter. It was cold and delicious and, best of all, calorie free.

We all went outside to the backyard, and while Rob and Jack ate ice cream and debated baseball standings with Geoff, I kicked off my sandals and sat down on the edge of the pool with my bowl of strawberry stars. The water felt cool, then warm, against my legs. Vanessa came over and joined me, rolling up her jeans, then sitting next to me with her bowl of chocolate ice cream. She told me she was sorry about earlier and that she was worried that I wasn’t going to get enough calories for the week.

I told her not to worry, that I was keeping track of it. I said that I eat like a horse at home during the day and was just trying not to eat as much around Jill because she’s working so
hard on her ballet body. I told her everything she wanted to hear, and when Geoff looked at his watch and said he had to get home, Vanessa gave me a hug and all was forgiven.

I finished my Jell-O, but it didn’t taste as good as it had before Vanessa sat down. Maybe it was because her chocolate ice cream looked so delicious. Or maybe it was because I’d just lied to my friend. I
am
keeping track of it. That part was true.

I took my bowl back into the kitchen and laid Jill’s sweater on the counter, then told everybody I was tired. My stomach felt strange. Maybe it was the bizarre combination of food: half a salad, rice cakes, and Jell-O on top of the three Junior Mints I’d allowed myself during the movie. James and Susan both gave me a hug. Jill said she’d text me tomorrow. Jack walked me to my awesome/ridiculous new car and leaned against the driver’s-side door.

Me: I need to get in there.

Jack: I’m going to need a kiss first.

Me: What if your mom is watching from the living room window?

Jack: Then she’s going to see us kiss.

I just got home. Mom is working until 2 a.m., so it’s quiet here, but my heart is still racing a little bit. When Jack kisses me it makes me breathless like I just ran for a mile. It’s nice to feel like that, but sometimes, it’s also a little tiring. After the past
three weeks, between Dad leaving and vacation and Jack and this whole thing with Vanessa, I just feel really tired.
I’m going to take a long, hot bath and then

Jack just texted me. He left his wallet in my car. He’s driving over to get it. My heart is racing. Seeing him again is better than a long, hot bath anyway.

Jack just left.

I met him in the driveway and unlocked my SUV. He climbed in and found his wallet wedged down by the seat belt in the passenger seat. When he got out, he looked up at my house.

Jack: So, this is where you sleep?

Me: Not so far tonight.

Jack: I wanna see.

Me: Me sleep?

Jack: That too.

I took his hand and led him up to the front porch. The sprinklers were
phrip-phrip-phripping
water all over the yard, and my bare feet got wet as we ran between them. When we walked through the front door, I told him I was breaking the rules.

Jack: What rules?

Me: No boys in the house when there isn’t an adult present.

Jack: I turn eighteen in October. Does that count?

Me: No.

Jack: I guess I should go.

Me: No.

Jack: You’d break the rules for me?

Me: Just a little. Mom gets off in an hour.

I gave him the grand tour but didn’t linger here in my bedroom, even when he sat down on the bed. Something about it felt like it was too much. We went back downstairs to the kitchen. I got him a Coke and a Diet Coke for myself, and we carried them into the living room and sat down on the sectional.

I leaned over his legs to grab the remote, and he wrapped his arms around me, then lay back on the couch, easily swinging me on top of him. Then we were kissing, and the remote and the Cokes were forgotten. It was like we were right back on the deck of the boat at Lake Powell, only this time my shirt came off too. When it did, he took a deep breath and lay back as his hands gently caressed my arms and chest. The only light was from the moon, leaking in through the window. It turned our skin a pale blue in the dark living room, and as he pulled my face gently back toward his lips, he breathed, “You are so beautiful.”

Who knows what other articles of clothing might have come off if I hadn’t had the sound turned up on my phone and heard the text message?