Letters to Brendan (6 page)

What do I have to pack? Should I prepare the kids somehow? I`m so e
xcited I can`t think clearly no
more.

You`ve got my address.

I`ll
be
wait
ing
for further instructions.

Rosaly

April 20, 2012

Dear Rosaly

I think it`s time you call me Cecilia. We are accomplices after all.

I talked to my husband and told him I was going to stay with my sister for a while. I did not tell him the truth. I want to keep him out of it in case we get any trouble.

I wi
ll pick you up on Thursday 26 around 9 pm.
Be
ready! Don`t say a word to your girls, they might reveal something.

When the time comes, they are allowed to each take a few of their favorite toys. You have to leave everything else behind. Don`t pack away anything suspicious. Hide your passports, money and souvenirs in a small bag. That has to be enough! We will buy everything new when we reach our destination. Burn all letters or take them with you. In no case leave anything in the house that could give away any information leading to me. It would guide Vince right to our hiding place.

Don`t write Vince a farewell letter and do not say goodbye to anybody, not even your best friend. I will take approximately 3 hours for the drive,
so I`ll leave here in the early evening. I will come, don`t be afraid.

If anything should come in the way, for example if Vince gets sick and stays home that night or one of your children is seriously sick, let me know
immediately. I add my card on which you will find my private number a
s well as my cell phone
number.

And now wish us much success!

Everything will be alright. I promise.

Cecilia

December 18, 2015

Dear Brendan

This is the first time I am visiting your grave.
I have wished for so long to be able to do that, but it was too risky.

Three and a half years have passed since your mother saved me, me and my girls. If there are angels on earth, then she is one of them.

You have a wonderful
mom,
she has become a good friend.

She had planned everything. She saved me from the hell of a marriage I was in and gave me and my family a complete new life.

By now we look different, we`ve got new names and live at a far away place. I was advised to sue my husband, but I want nothing to do with him or my past anymore. I only want to look ahead and build up a happy future for me and my daughters. They deserve it as I do.

All these years I felt guilty and believed I didn`t deserve anything better, but I was wrong. Thanks to your mother and your letter I realized that I am worth being happy. Just like every human has a right to be happy and be loved.

Since your mom could forgive me, I came to the conclusion that I have to forgive myself too. I am a new person, and not only because of the witness protection program.

Brendan, I want to thank you.
For loving me.

You gave me warmth, comfort and joy. You were a man that many women in this world would wish fo
r, but whose love was given
to me
alone
.

I will be blessed forever to have known you.

I a
m endlessly sad that I can`t tell you
all this
in person. That is why I will burn this letter at your grave an
d hope it
reach
es
you, wher
ever you may be now.

Sometimes I can still feel you near, your breath on my skin. I can still hear your words, telling me about all the wonders in the world.

Your mom has given me – beside freedom – the
most beautiful gift anyone could have given me. She g
ave me your old edition of “On t
he Road”. And I carry it with me wherever I go. Just like the chain of beads you gave me in San Francisco
and which I had to hide all that
time.

I hope you are happy when I tell you that I go on all those journeys we planned to make, with my girls now. I want to show them America, the true America, Kerouac`s America.
Our America.

Oh Brendan, I am thinking of you every day.

Everyone is confident I will find a nice man soon, but I don`t even want to.
I already had the best one, as well as the worst one. That`s enough for one
lifetime. It took me so long to leave the one behind. And I will keep the other one – you – in my heart forever.

You were my soul
mate
,
and I thank God every day that I was allowed to love you.
Even if only one summer long.

One day we will see each other again. I am so sure, Brendan.

And then we will love one another again. And together we will discover other worlds.

With everlasting love,

Rosaly