Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies (50 page)

Sarah has sent me photos of herself, nonchalantly posing next to wild-eyed rocker dudes from Tantric, Sevendust, and Marilyn Manson's band, so I recognize her right away. She is tall and willowy with long, straight platinum hair and a knowing greeneyed gaze. After a hug, we scooch into a booth, order a couple of exotic tropical drinks, and I find out pretty quickly that she's not too thrilled with the G word. "I hate that word. But sometimes I think `Band Aid' is okay. But any sort of label implies that the only reason I'm friends with these people, or attracted to them, is because they're famous. When you work for a music magazine, you don't meet a lot of people outside the rock and roll community. Until I moved here, I was writing feature stories, doing CD reviews in Madison, Wisconsin, for Maximum Ink music magazine-'All Access with Sarah: Who knew that kids genuinely want to know what kind of beer Nickelback drinks? Yep, Corona." Sarah laughs.

Even though she professes to understand on-the-road rocker mentality, it wasn't too long ago that Sarah's heart got crushed by one of those tantalizing, careless boys. "It happened in December. I had already thought about talking to you, but didn't want to name names. After that experience, I changed my mind. I realized that these people don't give a damn about me. So why am I giving a damn about protecting their reputations?"

How did the ravishing daughter of a "big-shot lawyer," who graduated top of her class, wind up backstage? "For my sixteenth birthday, I got Vault: Greatest Hits 1980-1995 and Adrenalize by Def Leppard, and boom! I never turned back. My first real concert was Def Leppard. After the show I told my girlfriend, `Oh my God, during this one part in this one song, Joe Elliott totally looked right at me!' It's funny to think that was such a big deal back then."

Although Sarah didn't meet her heroes that night, she was bewitched by real live rock and roll. "When I started going to concerts I couldn't help but notice the chick on the side of the stage. She looks great, she's drinking her beer, she's just happy to be there. I thought it would be so cool to be that girl. My roommate and I went to see Almost Famous, and there's this scene at the Hyatt House, Penny Lane is walking around and everybody knows her. I thought, `God, that's cool.' In the rock world, or in any world, it feels good to be the person that people want to talk to. We met the band Oleander when they played in Madison. They were in Milwaukee the next night and invited us down. We were in the back drinking with them until the moment they went on. They were on stage before we were even out of the dressing room. We came out and three girls were looking at us like, `You lucky bitches,' and I thought, `Wow, I've made it. I'm the chick I used to be jealous of."

Sarah's sexy wholesomeness often attracted the attention of roadies scanning for tasty morsels. "We were still in high school. I never walked up to roadies, going, `Hey, can I flash you for a pass?' But, remember, I was at heavy metal shows. First of all, it's 75 percent men. Secondly, 90 percent of the girls weigh three hundred pounds and wear Korn T-shirts from 1995. It was by default that we stood out. I always wanted to be up front. There's kind of a rush about making eye contact. You listen to this music every single day, nonstop, in your bedroom, and the people who made that music are looking right at you. It's not so much them as people, it's what they've created. After that, I was trying to be the cool rocker chick. The first time I got my confidence, I was in the front row at a Slipknot concert because I've got to be there. A roadie came over and said, `You, come back here.' So I watched from the side of the stage. If I wanted to meet or hang out with somebody, I wouldn't go up and start gushing about how great they were. I'd say, `I really liked the show. Can I buy you a drink?' If they were talking to somebody, I'd say, `I'll be over there. Come on over when you want that drink.' They love that."

Sarah had an adoring high school boyfriend but says she was afraid to get close to him. "I think that's what I liked about musicians-you're able to have great closeness for, like, a day. It's perfect. You're boyfriend and girlfriend, completely in love, for a day. Then they leave. You have all the good stuff and none of the bad. It's fun and games until you try to get serious. That's when you get hurt."

I remark that most of the groupies I know feel differently. A night or two with their idols simply isn't enough. "I've always been pretty realistic about it. Early on there were a few people who fooled me. I thought, `Oh, he really likes me!' But I knew deep down exactly what was going on. Still, sometimes I'd lie in bed thinking, `Wouldn't it be cool if this would happen?' But most of these guys have wives or girlfriends at home. Why would I want to be attached to a guy who's cheating on his girlfriend?"

Didn't she have pangs of guilt? "It's not like they're going to fall in love and not want to be with their wives anymore. I'm not going to hurt their relationships."

No matter how much I plead, Sarah won't divulge the name of her first rock amour. "I'll tell you the second one I hooked up with: John 5, the guitar player from Marilyn Manson. It was a tour bus experience, quite the experience, too. It wasn't like we had this big thing going on, but he's an awesome guy. To this day, I have a lot of love for him. But I was actually at the show to see Buckcherry that night. I worked my way up to the front, and some guy on the other side of the barricade had a video camera. I smiled at him, and he said, `I don't want you to flash or anything, just say hi to the camera.' An hour later he saw me and said, `I showed Manson and John your tape. They really want to meet you.' I thought, `How brilliant! They sent a guy out with a video camera.' That is so rock and roll. I was new to the rock world and kind of scared of Manson, but I went to the meeting place along with thirty other girls. They took us to this room, and all these girls were saying, `Do you have any beer? God, why is there no beer?' I'm not high maintenance, and I think John liked that about me. Finally they pointed at me, and three girls in bikinis. We got to the bus and I didn't know what to do. I was friggin' nineteen years old! Manson was sitting there with Twiggy and John, and I was just awed. But I took a deep breath and thought, `These people are no better than me. We're all human.' I walked up and said, `What's up? I'm Sarah,' and he said, `I'm Manson.' I said hi to Twiggy and sat down and started talking to John. I wasn't flirting; we were just laughing at the bikini chicks because Manson was saying, `Why don't you do this to him, and that to him.' And they were like, 'OK!' After that display, the girls were kicked off the bus, and I was thinking, `Wow, it really is like VH1!' John and I were attracted to each other, and it was just that simple. We had a great time. I saw him a couple weeks later at Ozzfest. In the meantime I'd started dating this other guy, Glen Sobel, who was also on the tour. He played drums for Beautiful Creatures."

Aha. Rock star number three appears. "I saw him as much as you see somebody who's on the road with Ozzfest. We did the whole talk-on-the-phone thing. Glen was a great guy and we were legitimately seeing each other-but the tour ended, and due to sheer geography, we didn't see each other for years. But we're still good friends. Then it was the beginning of the end." Sarah sighs dramatically. "Lajon Witherspoon of Sevendust, the first one to completely fool me. Until then, I'd had great experiences. But I know Lajon now, and he's probably the biggest player in the game. The girls enabled him to be that way. The first time we met at a concert, I knew who he was because he's the only black man in hard rock. He was signing autographs, so I handed him my ticket stub to sign. He said, `You've got to hang out with me tonight. Do you have a pass? Come with me right now,' and he whisked me backstage. God, he plays the game so well. We got to the bus and he introduced me to his band. A security guard brought me to the side of the stage and put me right by the speaker. When you're not used to this, you're thinking, `Oh my God, I'm loving life!' The singer in the band was saying, `I want her right here-close to me.' He was getting ready to go on and the tour manager said, `You can't wear those pants without a belt; hop up and down three times.' He did, and half his ass was hanging out. I was wearing this shiny, sparkly belt, so I gave it to him and he wore it onstage. I was thinking, `That's my belt!' He said, `I'm glad I've got this because now you have to see me afterward.' He kept coming over to me during the show, and my heart was all aflutter."

Sarah got tipsy, but only made out with Lajon that night, and he promised to invite her to the next local gig. "The day comes around, and I don't seem to have a phone call. But I still went to see what was going on. We were hanging out after the show and my best friend said, `Turn around.' I said, `No, I'm not going to,' and she said, `Just turn around.' So I swung around and there's Lajon, turning on the charm again: `Come here, I'm so sorry.' His excuse was that 9/11 happened, and everybody's head was in a different place. That was the first night we hooked up. It was quick tour bus lovin', and he was going to call me again, right? Nothing. We go to Chicago to see them, and I'm so angry, thinking, `God, I hate him, I hate him,' but of course there I am at the show."

Lajon apologized again, telling Sarah he had tried to reach her at Hooters. "We're not supposed to get personal calls, so the girl just hung up on him and I never got the message. That was the only time Lajon and I spent the whole night together because they had a hotel. It was absolutely perfect. That night he was extraordinary."

In my groupie prime, not many bands used tour buses, and I comment that intimacy on the road must be much more difficult these days. "Yeah, but most musicians are used to getting it all the time. I should cut Lajon some slack because a lot of the time we hooked up, the bus was full, so we were in the bathroom. There really isn't good lovin' to be had in the friggin' tour bus bathroom. But that night in the hotel was very good. It was December and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. At least I had one night that made me very happy. Of course, the next night they played Milwaukee, and after our great night, did he even call me to put me on the list? No. We got on the list through somebody else. I went up to Morgan Rose, the drummer, and said, `Where the fuck's Lajon?' and he said, `Oh, he went to bed already.' I said, `Sure he did.' The next time I saw him, I said, `Fuck you, Lajon. How dare you send your drummer to do your dirty work!' I walked into the women's bathroom at the House of Blues and he was sitting there with four chicks. He said, `Hey everybody, this is Sarah. The one I've been talking about.' I'm like, `Yeah, right.' I wish I could say I didn't see him anymore after that. But I saw him tons more times. He even came to my place."

Sarah was learning that you can't count on rock guys for the long haul, but decided she could still have some fun. "I think they look for confidence more than anything, and if you happen to have good facial features to back it up, so be it. But having some dude on the cover of Rolling Stone wanting to hang out with you doesn't hurt your confidence one little bit. My friend and I will be standing in a group of twenty girls, and they'll know. `These two? They'll be fine.' They like it if you've done it before, because you know what's appropriate and what isn't. Like not to take a crap on the bus, and not to put your toilet paper in the toilet." That's a frightening thought. Hmm. Where does one put their toilet paper on the tour bus? So, who came along to take Sarah's mind off Lajon?