Let Me Love You (10 page)

I close my eyes briefly and open then to speak to James. “You really think you can get over the fact that my ex-boyfriend raped me?”  I walk over to my desk without waiting for a reply. I am aware that Wilde has followed me, I can smell him and it’s just the most delicious smell ever to come from a man.

He presses his body close to mine, chest to back, thighs to thighs. “It’s been too long Tally, I have missed you. Have you missed me?” How could I have missed him this much, we hardly know each other? Oddly, though, I know in my heart that I have missed him just as much as he says he has missed me.

“I have missed not seeing
you or hearing from you James, but you haven’t answered my question.” I look him in his ocean blue eyes and hold my form. I’m not backing down. He looks so lost. I can see that he is trying to find the right answer. “James, I understand that this is hard for you, believe me I really do.” I place my hand on his heart and I can feel it beating hundred miles an hour just like mine; he is warm and soft under my hand. Oh, I want to see and feel his chest, run my hand over his stomach, to feel every defined muscle of his body. I want to smell him, take his scent in. My thoughts are halted by the knock on the door. I look up at James, who at this point looks like he wants to ravish me right here and now. Our eyes lock once more.

         
I hear the door open, so I turn to see who is joining us in my studio. “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you would be alone. Is everything ok in here?” Sam stands in the doorway and looks from James to me.

“It’s ok
ay Sam, Mr Wilde was just leaving.” I look at James, who doesn’t argue with me. He shakes Sam’s hand and turns back to me.

“It was nice seeing you again;
I hope to see a lot more of you. And as for our discussion … I will, for you.” He takes my hand and looks as if he’s going to give me a kiss on the cheek but he places my hand over his heart and he whispers in my ear, “Does that answer your question?” James nods to both of us and leaves the studio. I stand there staring at the door James had just left through, my heart pounding in my chest. I can’t move or speak; I am momentarily paralyzed to the spot. Oh my God, he does want to try.

Sam snaps me back to the present. “You ok
ay, Tally? You look pale. What did he say?” I blink a few times and look up at Sam trying to speak.

“He wants to try, Sammy he really wants to try
.” Sam leads me over to the sofa and I explain everything that has happened. From my Dean Nightmare, right up to now. Sam looks on at me in total disbelief. A tear runs down Sam’s olive skinned cheek. I take his hand and cradle it in mine.

“Oh my G
od baby girl, how could he do that to you? And James is okay with this … well he just declared that he is. What are you going to do, because it seems to me that you are still dealing with some issues from the dark times?” I wipe the tears away and smile at Sam.

“You
have been a star Sammy, a total rock star. I haven’t told a lot of people about what happened, my family and Cassidy know and that’s about it. Thank you so much for understanding and for not making me feel like a victim again. I really want to be with James. I haven’t wanted to be with anyone as much as I want to with him. After today I really think I could move forward with him, but I know that I still have some issues that I need to deal with.” Sam hugs me and offers to take me out to dinner with him and Carlos after work. The rest of the day goes pretty fast, as I only have a few bookings. I’m looking forward to meeting up with Carlos and Sam after work; I need to unwind after the past events.

It’s Tuesday morni
ng and I have the day off. This is why I’ve woken up with a slight hangover, proving that I enjoyed my evening out with the boys. I head to my bathroom and have a nice hot shower to wash away my headache and aching muscles from all the dancing we did last night. A memory runs through my head of last night and I laugh to myself. Carlos and Sammy like to dance; they wouldn’t let me sit down. I remember being in a ‘Carlsam’ sandwich as they liked to call it- me sandwiched between Carlos and Sam. They really helped to make me forget what had happened yesterday and the past week. I brush and dry my hair and get dressed. Scarlett is sitting on the living room floor with her birthday party plans spread out all around her. She’s on the phone yet again, sorting through every detail. I join her on the floor, flicking through all the papers and forms. While Scarlett is on the phone, it gives me a chance to call Cassidy. I gather my phone out of my bag. Cassidy answers on the third ring, “Hey, Talls! You okay, babe?” My hearts swells at the sound of my best friend’s voice; she sounds happy which makes me happy.

“Hey Cass, I’m good. How are you feeling? Still getting the headaches?”
She has been suffering with them since the accident; the Doctor said it was common.

“I’m getting there, one day at a time Talls. I’m not getting them as much as I
was, which a good thing I guess is. How’s work? More importantly, how’s Mr Wilde?” I thought about what to tell her, should I lie not to upset her or should I tell her the whole truth? I haven’t spoken to James since he left the studio yesterday afternoon.

I was glad in a way
, as I didn’t know what to say to him. “Work is going great. I went out with Carlos and Sam last night; had a tad too much to drink.” I went silent, but Cassidy didn’t leave the gap in chat for too long.

“And?
… Don’t leave me hanging Talls, give it up. What happened? I need a night out.” I look at Scarlett, who is deep in her conversation on the phone.

“Hang on Cass, let me go outside
.” I walk out to the front porch of our house and sit on the top step. It’s a good thing we live in a very high security gated community, thanks to my dad.

“Ok
ay, don’t freak because I haven’t told you before today, okay?! Promise me, Cassidy.”

“I promise now … Spill Missy
.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

“I almost had sex with James last week…” Cassidy cuts me off
.

I pull the phone from my ear.
“YOU WHAT? And why exactly am I only now hearing about this?” I cut her off this time.

“You promised
, Cass!”  I can hear her sigh on the other end of the phone.

“I’m sorry Talls, carry on
.”

I sigh
, “Everything was going good but I stopped him and told him everything about Dean. I told him I understand if he walks away.”

“Di
d he, I mean, did he walk away?” She asks.

“Not at first, we talked a little more and we tried again. Oh Cass
, I really want him. He makes me feel safe and sexy at the same time.” I look down at the step just beneath me.

“So why not at first, Tally what did he do to you?” I could hear the anguish in her voice
.

“Nothing Cass, it was all me
, okay? Well, sort of. He was kissing me after a few things had happened….” Cassidy cut me off again.

“What few things? C
ome on Talls, don’t hold back. I need all the hot gossip, you know we can talk about all these things.” I blush again, even though I know that Cassidy can’t see me.

“Fine
, you sex freak. He went down on me okay. And … I gave him a blowjob. Are you happy now?” I smile.

“Yes, actually.
So, is he big?” I can hear her laughing.

Shocked by her reply
, I exclaim, “Cassidy Blake, you have such a dirty mind! Get your mind out of the gutter!” I swear I can hear her smiling. “I’m not giving you that much detail, Cass. Anyway, where was I? Yep, he started kissing me again and started talking to me, saying things.” I pause and close my eyes, “Things Dean used to say to me and I freaked out again. He tried to calm me but it was best we cut contact for a while and he left.” I open my eyes to find James standing in front of me and I freeze. I can hear Cassidy on the other end calling my name; I finally find my voice. “I’ll call you later, okay? I have to go. I love you.” With that, I hang up. I look up at James standing there in black jeans, white t-shirt and black blazer, looking sexy as fuck.  He is smirking at me and it gets me thinking, was he standing there when I said that last bit to Cassidy? “Hi.”

“Hi yourself
,” James says back to me. Why is he here? “You look rough, you okay?”

“I’m fine
Wilde, just a little hung-over. I went out with Carlos and Sam last night, drank too much, again. Why are you here?” I look down at my hands and twist my sibling ring again. James steps closer and places his hand over mine; he is kneeling on the step before me.

“Let me in baby
, please” I can tell by his eyes that he truly wants in.

“Get off t
he ground, James.” I pat the step next to me for him to sit. He sits as close as he can to me and puts his arm around my waist, pulling me even closer. “I had a long talk with Sam yesterday and told him everything … about Dean… me and you.” I turned away from him and looked across the street to watch the children in my street having a water fight. They are laughing and screaming, water balloons flying everywhere. The boys are chasing the girls with water pistols.

“Sam
told me that he thinks I need to give us a chance, see how things work out... I think he might be right.” I turn back to James, who is now wearing his All-American-Smile and I blush but smile back at him. “I can’t keep letting him win, I need to take the next step and I want that step with you James. I know I have told you this but now I’m going to show you.” We are still face to face but neither of us moving, just smiling at each other. I have to taste those lips again so I make the first move. I learn forward and cup his face, rubbing his cheek with my thumb and kiss his soft lips. Soft, slow kisses follow; James places his hand on my left thigh, rubbing slowly. We kiss for how long I don’t know. Time passes but all that matters is James and me.

I hear giggling and
we break our kiss, only to find three young boys aiming their water pistols at us both. I turn to find James smiling a wicked smile at the boys. Oh no, I know where this is going. I turn back to the boys, knowing one of their names, only because I babysat a few times for his family. “You wouldn’t dare Seth, don’t even think about it, kiddo.” All three boys open fire on me and James. I jump up, squealing like a girl and James runs towards the boys, who turn and run across the street. I turn and run into my kitchen and rummage through the cupboards to look for our water pistols that Josh and Lucas had left from the last time the street had a water fight. I find the three water pistols and fill them; I turn to leave the kitchen with full water pistols in hand to find Scarlett changed and ready to get wet.

I hand one to Scarlett
. As we walk through the living room, we can hear the joyful screams from the street children. We enter the street and water is flying everywhere, even parents are now involved. Children are chasing adults and the adults are chasing children; everyone having fun in the sun. Both Scarlett and I walk towards the sidewalk with water pistols on hand and full to the top. All the girls and their moms run in our direction and stand by our sides. All the boys line up across the street, including James Wilde. He has removed his blazer and his white tee is slightly wet, clinging to his beautiful chest and stomach. I chuckle. So that’s the plan, boys V girls. James has acquired a pistol from one of the boys, who look quite confident that they are going to win this water fight. We shall see. One of the dads shouts, “Get em!” At the same time, all the boys and men run forward towards us ladies. We stand our ground and wait until they get closer. As the boys are running, they are firing their water pistols and us ladies know that they will run out of water pretty soon after they reach us. I wait with the girls until the boys are about eight feet in front of us, then Scarlett yells.

“Go Go
Go!” We all surge forward spraying water at the boys and everyone is getting soaked. I go straight for little Seth, who is trying to catch his mother. I get him and he falls to the floor, pretending to be a wounded soldier. I get hit right on my ass, and spin to find Wilde standing there blowing invisible smoke from his water pistol.

“Gotcha baby … right on that sexy little ass of yours
.” I can see lust and desire in his eyes as he scans my body to find that my camisole is almost see through, due to all the water coverage from this water fight. I’m wearing my denim shorts and a white camisole with a Peace sign printed on the front and now my baby blue bra is almost visible. I walk over to James who hasn’t taken his eyes off me. I go up on my tip toes and kiss him; he kisses me back and that when I make my move. I step back and let him have it. I empty my water pistol on his body. He looks so good wet, his hair is damp in some places but his t-shirt is now very wet and see through and clinging to his perfect upper body even more. He stumbles back laughing, and he lunges for me. Just touching my arm, I manage to escape and dart for my house. Leaving everyone out in the street, James follows me into the kitchen. I put the kitchen island between us. I smile at him and he returns a cheeky grin. “Do you honestly think that I won’t catch you, baby?” He moves around the island to get closer to me, but I step to the side also.

“We shall see Mr W
ilde, what do you intend to do with me once you catch me?” Old Tally is seeping through and I don’t intend to stop her. I see my favorite smile spread across his face. He darts for me again, but I move out of his reach and run up the stairs.