Lena's River (5 page)

Lena fished by herself for awhile up river from the
others. She found a wild, rocky bank which didn’t require her to wade very far
out into the current. She cast lazily without much going on her head but she
liked the warm glow she felt. She liked being alone but she couldn’t stop
thinking about Levi. His touch had excited her in a way she had not felt for a
very long time.

The sun shone high in the sky; there were a few gray
clouds drifting in from the ocean in the distance but it wouldn’t cloud over
until evening. The other ladies were used to her going off by herself.
Their
little hermit crab
Mary called her sometimes, but in an affectionate tone. Right
now she needed time alone more than ever since her Mom passed away. Lena hoped
they understood.

After eating a sandwich Lena lay back on the sandy bank
in the sun with her jacket for a pillow. The river ran lower than usual since
it hadn’t rained for a few days and the water murmured its song while a soft
breeze in the hemlocks above waved the fine branches in a slow dance above her
head. She fell into a sound sleep.

She awoke to a rustling sound near her head. A large crow
was digging around in her bag and had pulled out the rest of her uneaten
sandwich.

“Hey!” She grabbed at her pack but it flew off with her
sandwich in its beak. “Okay fine, I don’t want your bird germs anyway, you
thief.” She gathered up the wrapper and stuffed it back into her bag.

“You always talk to yourself?” Levi stepped off the
trail onto the gravel bank behind her. Pascal trotted over to her and nudged
her hand with his wet nose. She petted the little dog.

“Hey, Levi – I went by your camp earlier today.”

“Oh yeah, I had to go to the post office in town. And
get a few supplies at the store.”

Levi sat down next to her on the beach. He grabbed a
small stick and tossed it into the water. Pascal leapt after it. They watched
the dog chase into the shallow water, fetch the stick and bring it back. Levi
tossed the stick again. Neither of them spoke.

Lena stole a glance at him. She felt a stir inside as
she remembered the night before and the way he seemed like fire inside her. She
blushed at the thought and turned away.
He was so dang good looking.

She felt a surge of desire. “Hey, I’m afraid I wimped
out because of the air mattress last night. I’m kind of a softie when it comes
to camping. I prefer my own bed.” She drew a random pattern in the course sand
with her finger, trying not to look at him. She didn’t want him to see what she
felt although she was certain it was written all over her face.

“No worries. I figured as much. I wasn’t sure though.”
He paused and touched her arm with his forefinger. “You were hot last night. I
didn’t get a chance to thank you for an amazing time.”

His head was nearer than she expected. When she turned
around to answer, his lips met hers. She kissed him back without reserve and
laced her fingers through his thick curls. She leaned into him but he pulled
away looking her in the eyes.

“You know what I would really like right now?”

“Hmm, I don’t know; surprise me.” Lena thought of going
with him back to her camper. She wanted him to kiss her again and then make
love to her.

“I would love to see you fish.” He said with all
seriousness as he caressed her bare upper arm with the back of his hand.

Lena was surprised: “Ah, okay. I’d be happy to give you
a fishing lesson.” She said and nuzzled her cheek against his hand. She looked
up: “Did you bring your pole with you?”

“No, I don’t want a lesson; it’s not a fly pole anyway.
I just want to watch you fish. It’s for a pure esthetical experience - I don’t
get many of those being a scientist and all that.”

“Okay…” Lena was taken aback.

“Does that seem weird to you?”

“Um, a little; I mean let me get this straight, you
want me to pull on my big, ugly waders, kinda’ wobble out into the stream like
a klutz, wave my line around and maybe catch a fish for you?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I want.” He smiled but kept
his eyes locked on her.

She raised an eyebrow: “You are a hundred percent
romantic, aren’t you?” Lena had to laugh. “It’s not exactly a spectator sport,
dude.”

Levi fell back on the sand laughing. “I know, I know
but I’d love to see you in action. I have this idea of a photo…oh never mind.
Would you just do it?”

She leaned over him and rested her head on his chest. His
fingers twirled in her hair and played with her ear. She liked it; she wanted
to go back to the camper and take his clothes off. She wanted to feel his
weight on her and him big and hard inside her again. Lena felt herself grow wet
with the memory of how it was with him.

He tickled her ear and kissed the top of her head. She
could feel his heart beating.

She reached up under his t-shirt and caressed him. His
chest was firm and the muscles tight as she smoothed her hand over them. She
felt his reaction to her touch right away. He stretched his arms out and
sighed. She sought his nipples and gently ran circles with her fingertips
around them. She heard his heart pick up a beat.

“Oh, that is no fair.” He said taking her hand away.
“Fishing first…then I can do your bidding.”

“Okay, if you say so.” She sighed out loud and sat up,
reaching for her heavy waders.

“Can I take a photo or two?” Levi reached in his bag
and pulled out a Canon with a fancy lens attached.

Lena eyed the camera and made a funny face. “Why on
earth would you want to do that?”

“It’s a hobby and you are a good subject.” They looked
at each other. He wagged his black eyebrows up and down like Charlie Chaplin.
Lena continued to look skeptical. Levi shrugged. “But I won’t take any if you
don’t want me to.”

Lena hesitated then she smiled: “No, I don’t mind; go
ahead. Just get me on my good side, okay?”

“You have nothing but good sides, Lena.”

Lena laughed and tied a fly to the end of her line. She
stood up, secured her line then waded out into the river, stepping carefully around
the big, moss covered stones which cropped up here and there in her path. When
she saw a good hole she began to wave the line in a fluid, circular fashion
just over the surface of the water. She did this for some moments before
dropping the fly right where she wanted a bit upstream from the area she had
targeted.

Levi remained seated on the river bank bent over the
camera. He focused the lens and snapped multiple shots of Lena at her task.
Once or twice Lena turned towards him and gave a little wave, then continued to
fish. After a few minutes she waded a few feet downstream and tried another
spot. Levi stood up and continued to point his camera at her. Almost
immediately she brought a fish out of the water.

Lena whooped and reeled in some of her line. The fish
was airborne for only a few seconds then flipped off, landed in the water and
was gone.

“Ah, that’s too bad!” Levi called over to her; still
shooting photos of Lena. “But I got some great shots! Do it again.”

“Whoa, that was a nice one.” Lena peered into the water
where the fish had escaped. “Actually, it saves me having to traumatize the
poor bugger. It’s okay.”

“I thought I was gonna’ have fish for lunch, dang it.”
He laughed.

“You want fish? Okay, you got it – but you have to
clean ‘em”

“You’re on, lady. Oh man, I can taste it now.”

“Well, don’t put fish in your basket until they’re
caught; my Mom used to say.”

“Your Mom’s a smart lady.”

Lena didn’t answer him. She continued to fish for over
an hour but couldn’t repeat a catch. She waded back to shore where Levi sat
chewing on a grass stem.

“Sorry about that. I had a couple weak strikes and that
was it. The sun is too high. Maybe this evening I’ll have more luck.”

“Don’t worry about it. It was fun to watch you. I can’t
wait to print out some of these photos. You’re a pro, Lena. It’s like watching poetry
over water.” He grabbed her hand and gave it a soft squeeze.

Lena studied him for a moment, not knowing what to say.
She thought about making a joke out of it but decided to tell the truth:
“That’s beautiful, Levi. You have a way with words.”

“Thanks, I might be a geek, but I know beauty and
talent when I see it.” He leaned over and kissed her; his tongue met hers and
lingered on its tip for a moment. Then he straightened up and asked: “Does your
Mom fly fish too? Or did you teach yourself?”

Lena grimaced at the mention of her Mom. “No, her Dad,
my Grandpa taught me when I was little. He was the true expert in the family.
My Mom was more into gardening. She used to grow the most amazing tomatoes when
we lived east of the mountains.”

Levi nodded and was quiet for a minute, then said:
“Something tells me there’s a reason you refer to your Mom in the past tense.”
He had a worried look.

Lena turned away, fighting back tears at the memory of
her Mom. “Yeah, she died a few months ago. She had a terrible fight with
cancer. It was pretty much awful.” She swiped at her eyes before tears started
cascading down her cheeks.

“Oh man, I have a way of stepping in it. I’m so sorry,
Lena. I really am. I’m so very sorry. I was curious about how you learned to
fish so well. I had no idea.”

“That’s okay.” Lena drew her knees up under her and hunkered
over, wiping her eyes and nose on her shirt sleeve. She didn’t want him to see
her cry. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t. Maybe she was afraid that she
couldn’t stop. Just when she thought she was moving on, it would all hit her
again.

Levi put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle
squeeze but didn’t say anything. They sat like this for some minutes watching
the river flow by. The tears continue to fall down Lena’s face and finally she
reached in her pack and pulled out a blue kerchief. She sat up straight, wiping
her eyes and blowing her nose.

“She was a good woman. I’m sure you must miss her so
much.”

Lena shot him a glance and stood up. “She was a great
Mom. I’m not usually this emotional. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She
wiped her eyes with the back of her hand but more tears came.

He stood up next to her. “Lena, it’s okay, really. I
understand. I’m sorry I asked too many questions. I’m sorry too about your Mom.
My Mom was quite sick a couple years ago before I started grad school. I helped
take care of her the whole summer. I thought I’d go nuts. I know how it is.”

“Did she… did she recover?” Lena fought, holding back
more tears and turned away from him to dab at her eyes with her sleeve.
Great
Lena, blubbering all over him is a huge turn on!

“Yes, she did. The doctors eventually figured it all
out with the meds. But it took her awhile. I was never so relieved in my life,
but it’s an experience I never want to repeat.”

“Mortality sucks.” Lena muttered.

“Yeah, it’s especially hard when it’s a family member –
like a piece of your heart gets broken apart. But life and death belong to each
other and maybe this isn’t all there is, you know? You’ll see your Mom again.
I’m sure of it.”

Lena shook her head. “I don’t believe that. I think
this is pretty much it. What god would allow horrible things like that to
happen to people? Living is a hard, cold reality and we all have to manage
through it until we die.”

Levi was silent for a time. He put an arm around her
shoulders again. At last he replied: “The god of the universe is shrouded in
mystery. This world, this reality is a mere sliver of consciousness. Our vision
is blurred and distorted and we can’t see even close to the entire picture.”

Lena considered his words for a moment. She decided an
evasive maneuver was in order. “Wow, Levi. You sound more like a philosopher
than someone who went to MIT.”

Levi laughed: “Sorry, it’s in my blood. My father’s a
rabbi back east and his father before him was a Rebi too. I guess I can’t help
myself; I grew up arguing with other boys in the synagogue about all of life’s
mysteries. It’s sort of second nature.”

“You’re Jewish?” Lena’s tears had stopped now.

“Yeah, does that surprise you?” Levi looked straight at
her and didn’t blink.

“No, I’m… I’ve never met anyone with your background
before, that’s all.” Lena felt heat in her face. She stumbled for words. “I…
well the closest synagogue around here is in Seattle, I suppose. And all my
friends are pretty much agnostic. My Mom was raised Catholic but she never took
us to mass or anything. In fact she would never talk about the church at all.”

“I see; well religion isn’t for everybody. It’s been a
big part of my life. My parents wanted me to study to become a rabbi like my
father; it was tough on them when all my scholarships pushed me towards sciences
and math.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Lena eyed him with interest. She
couldn’t quite picture him bowing and scraping in front of the Wall in
Jerusalem, like the Jews she’d seen praying in
National Geographic.
The
whole discussion made her uncomfortable. If there was a god then she was angry
at him, or her or whatever. It was way easier to be angry at nothing in
particular.