Authors: The Cyberiad [v1.0] [htm]
the Tartarian, ruler of Pancreon and Cyspenderora; the inhabitants of
both these kingdoms had, in a fit of regicidal madness, driven His
Highness from the throne and exiled him to this barren asteroid,
eternally adrift among the dark swells and currents of gravitation.
Learning in turn the identity of his
visitor, the deposed monarch began to insist that Trurl—who
after all was something of a professional when it came to good
deeds—immediately restore him to his former position. The
thought of such a turn of events brought the flame of vengeance to
the monarch's eyes, and his iron fingers clutched the air, as if
already closing around the throats of his beloved subjects.
Now Trurl had no intention of
complying with this request of Excelsius, as doing so would
bring about untold evil and suffering, yet at the same time he wished
somehow to comfort and console the humiliated king. Thinking a
moment or two, he came to the conclusion that, even in this
case, not all was lost, for it would be possible to satisfy the king
completely—without putting his former subjects in jeopardy. And
so, rolling up his sleeves and summoning up all his mastery, Trurl
built the king an entirely new kingdom. There were plenty of
towns, rivers, mountains, forests and brooks, a sky with clouds,
armies full of derring-do, citadels, castles and ladies' chambers;
and there were marketplaces, gaudy and gleaming in the sun, days
of back-breaking labor, nights full of dancing and song until dawn,
and the gay clatter of swordplay. Trurl also carefully set into this
kingdom a fabulous capital, all in marble and alabaster, and
assembled a council of hoary sages, and winter palaces and summer
villas, plots, conspirators, false witnesses, nurses, informers,
teams of magnificent steeds, and plumes waving crimson in the wind;
and then he crisscrossed that atmosphere with silver fanfares and
twenty-one gun salutes, also threw in the necessary handful of
traitors, another of heroes, added a pinch of prophets and seers, and
one mes-siah and one great poet each, after which he bent over and
set the works in motion, deftly making last-minute adjustments
with his microscopic tools as it ran, and he gave the women of that
kingdom beauty, the men—sullen silence and surliness when
drunk, the officials—arrogance and servility, the
astronomers—an enthusiasm for stars, and the children—a
great capacity for noise. And all of this, connected, mounted and
ground to precision, fit into a box, and not a very large box, but
just the size that could be carried about with ease. This Trurl
presented to Excelsius, to rule and have dominion over forever; but
first he showed him where the input and output of his brand-new
kingdom were, and how to program wars, quell rebellions, exact
tribute, collect taxes, and also instructed him in the critical
points and transition states of that microminiaturized society—in
other words the maxima and minima of palace coups and
revolutions—and explained everything so well, that the
king, an old hand in the running of tyrannies, instantly grasped the
directions and, without hesitation, while the constructor watched,
issued a few trial proclamations, correctly manipulating the
control knobs, which were carved with imperial eagles and regal
lions. These proclamations declared a state of emergency, martial
law, a curfew and a special levy. After a year had passed in the
kingdom, which amounted to hardly a minute for Trurl and the king, by
an act of the greatest magnanimity—that is, by a flick of the
finger at the controls—the king abolished one death penalty,
lightened the levy and deigned to annul the state of emergency,
whereupon a tumultuous cry of gratitude, like the squeaking of
tiny mice lifted by their tails, rose up from the box, and through
its curved glass cover one could see, on the dusty highways and along
the banks of lazy rivers that reflected the fluffy clouds, the
people rejoicing and praising the great and unsurpassed benevolence
of their sovereign lord.
And so, though at first he had felt
insulted by Trurl's gift, in that the kingdom was too small and very
like a child's toy, the monarch saw that the thick glass lid made
everything inside seem large; perhaps too he dully understood
that size was not what mattered here, for government is not measured
in meters and kilograms, and emotions are somehow the same,
whether experienced by giants or dwarfs— and so he thanked the
constructor, if somewhat stiffly. Who knows, he might even have liked
to order him thrown in chains and tortured to death, just to be
safe—that would have been a sure way of nipping in the bud any
gossip about how some common vagabond tinkerer presented a mighty
monarch with a kingdom.
Excelsius was sensible enough,
however, to see that this was out of the question, owing to a very
fundamental disproportion, for fleas could sooner take their host
into captivity than the king's army seize Trurl. So with another cold
nod, he stuck his orb and scepter under his arm, lifted the box
kingdom with a grunt, and took it to his humble hut of exile. And as
blazing day alternated with murky night outside, according to the
rhythm of the asteroid's rotation, the king, who was acknowledged by
his subjects as the greatest in the world, diligently reigned,
bidding this, forbidding that, beheading, rewarding—in all
these ways incessantly spurring his little ones on to perfect fealty
and worship of the throne.
As for Trurl, he returned home and
related to his friend Klapaucius, not without pride, how he had
employed his constructor's genius to indulge the autocratic
aspirations of Excelsius and, at the same time, safeguard the
democratic aspirations of his former subjects. But Klapaucius,
surprisingly enough, had no words of praise for Trurl; in fact,
there seemed to be rebuke in his expression.
"Have I understood you
correctly?" he said at last. "You gave that brutal despot,
that born slave master, that slavering sadist of a painmonger,
you gave him a whole civilization to rule and have dominion over
forever? And you tell me, moreover, of the cries of joy brought on by
the repeal of a fraction of his cruel decrees! Trurl, how could you
have done such a thing?!"
"You must be joking!" Trurl
exclaimed. "Really, the whole kingdom fits into a box three feet
by two by two and a half… it's only a model…"
"A model of what?"
"What do you mean, of what? Of a
civilization, obviously, except that it's a hundred million
times smaller."
"And how do you know there aren't
civilizations a hundred million times larger than our own? And
if there were, would ours then be a model? And what importance do
dimensions have anyway? In that box kingdom, doesn't a journey from
the capital to one of the corners take months —for those
inhabitants? And don't they suffer, don't they know the burden of
labor, don't they die?"
"Now just a minute, you know
yourself that all these processes take place only because I
programmed them, and so they aren't genuine…"
"Aren't genuine? You mean to say
the box is empty, and the parades, tortures and beheadings are merely
an illusion?"
"Not an illusion, no, since they
have reality, though purely as certain microscopic phenomena, which I
produced by manipulating atoms," said Trurl. "The point is,
these births, loves, acts of heroism and denunciations are nothing
but the minuscule capering of electrons in space, precisely arranged
by the skill of my nonlinear craft, which—"
"Enough of your boasting, not
another word!" Klapaucius snapped. "Are these processes
self-organizing or not?"
"Of course they are!"
"And they occur among
infinitesimal clouds of electrical charge?"
"You know they do."
"And the phenomenological events
of dawns, sunsets and bloody battles are generated by the
concatenation of real variables?"
"Certainly."
"And are not we as well, if you
examine us physically, mechanistically, statistically and
meticulously, nothing but the minuscule capering of electron clouds?
Positive and negative charges arranged in space? And is our existence
not the result of subatomic collisions and the interplay of
particles, though we ourselves perceive those molecular
cartwheels as fear, longing, or meditation? And when you
daydream, what transpires within your brain but the binary
algebra of connecting and disconnecting circuits, the continual
meandering of electrons?"
"What, Klapaucius, would you
equate our existence with that of an imitation kingdom locked up in
some glass box?!" cried Trurl. "No, really, that's going
too far! My purpose was simply to fashion a simulator of statehood, a
model cybernetically perfect, nothing more!"
"Trurl! Our perfection is our
curse, for it draws down upon our every endeavor no end of
unforeseeable consequences!" Klapaucius said in a
stentorian voice. "If an imperfect imitator, wishing to
inflict pain, were to build himself a crude idol of wood or wax, and
further give it some makeshift semblance of a sentient being, his
torture of the thing would be a paltry mockery indeed! But consider a
succession of improvements on this practice! Consider the next
sculptor, who builds a doll with a recording in its belly, that it
may groan beneath his blows; consider a doll which, when beaten, begs
for mercy, no longer a crude idol, but a homeostat; consider a doll
that sheds tears, a doll that bleeds, a doll that fears death, though
it also longs for the peace that only death can bring! Don't you see,
when the imitator is perfect, so must be the imitation, and the
semblance becomes the truth, the pretense a reality! Trurl, you
took an untold number of creatures capable of suffering and abandoned
them forever to the rule of a wicked tyrant… Trurl, you have
committed a terrible crime!"
"Sheer sophistry!" shouted
Trurl, all the louder because he felt the force of his friend's
argument. "Electrons meander not only in our brains, but in
phonograph records as well, which proves nothing, and certainly gives
no grounds for such hypostatical analogies! The subjects of that
monster Excelsius do in fact die when decapitated, sob, fight,
and fall in love, since that
is
how I set up the parameters,
but it's impossible to say, Klapaucius, that they feel anything in
the process—the electrons jumping around in their heads will
tell you nothing of that!"
"And if I were to look inside
your head, I would also see nothing but electrons," replied
Klapaucius. "Come now, don't pretend not to understand what I'm
saying, I know you're not that stupid! A phonograph record won't run
errands for you, won't beg for mercy or fall on its knees! You say
there's no way of knowing whether Excelsius' subjects groan,
when beaten, purely because of the electrons hopping about
inside—like wheels grinding out the mimicry of a voice—or
whether they really groan, that is, because they honestly experience
the pain? A pretty distinction, this! No, Trurl, a sufferer is not
one who hands you his suffering, that you may touch it, weigh it,
bite it like a coin; a sufferer is one who behaves like a sufferer!
Prove to me here and now, once and for all, that they do not feel,
that they do not think, that they do not in any way exist as beings
conscious of their enclosure between the two abysses of oblivion—the
abyss before birth and the abyss that follows death—prove this
to me, Trurl, and I'll leave you be! Prove that you only
imitated
suffering, and did not create it!"
"You know perfectly well that's
impossible," answered Trurl quietly. "Even before I took my
instruments in hand, when the box was still empty, I had to
anticipate the possibility of precisely such a proof—in
order to rule it out. For otherwise the monarch of that kingdom