Legally Bound (19 page)

Moistening her lips, Eve spoke softly. “This…”
She swallowed. “This isn’t just sex between you and I anymore, is it?” She
lifted her gaze to his face just in time to see the muscle flex in his jaw.

“No.” He shook his head gently then brushed a
damp tendril back from her forehead. “No, it isn’t.”

The weight of those words combined with the depth
of his stare made her heart beat faster. There was tenderness in his eyes, a
profound affection. But did it mean the notorious bachelor was taking himself
off the market? Not necessarily.

“I want you, Eve. Not in a temporary way,” he
said, as if reading her mind.

His declaration brought on mixed emotions. Part
of her was giddy from hearing the words, yet part of her wondered if it wasn’t
merely the magic and seduction of the masquerade causing him to say them.

“I have to tell you something,” she whispered,
then paused and moistened her dry lips. It was time to come clean. About
everything. She swallowed hard and forced the words out. “I—I’m not a Mistress.”

Donavan’s grin came quick and easy. “You don’t
say?”

“Don’t sound so surprised.” She sighed and shook
her head. “I never wanted to lie. It just—well, it just happened. The first
time I came here to visit Caitlyn, I ran into a former client. He automatically
assumed I was a Mistress, maybe it was from how cut-throat I appeared trying
his case or because I come off as a control freak, I don’t know. What was I
suppose to do?”

“Tell him that you’re a submissive?”

“I couldn’t,” she argued. “Before I could correct
him, he went on and on about how much he respected Dommes. He said some of the
most successful business women he knew were Mistresses, which got me wondering
if it wouldn’t just be more beneficial to keep up the lie rather than set him
straight.”

“Lies always have a way of coming out. You should’ve
set him straight, Eve.”

“You weren’t there. You don’t know.” Her tone
scaled an octave and she pulled her knees to her chest, hoping to rein in some
of the emotion. She softened her voice. “I didn’t want to look weak.”

Donavan shook his head. “You really have no idea
what it takes to be a submissive, do you?” He grasped her chin and forced her
to look at him. “It takes trust, confidence, and limitless inner strength to
hand over total control to another human being. Being a submissive would never
make you look weak to anyone who knows
anything
about the lifestyle.”

“And what about the people who don’t know
anything about it? Hmm?” Though her tone was sharp, Donavan’s expression
remained sympathetic.

“There’s always going to be judgment. No matter
what. It’s human nature. It’s not like you’d broadcast your fetish to all of
Los Angeles or try a case wearing handcuffs and a ball gag.”

“Maybe not, but word spreads, Donavan.”

“So you lose a few clients that didn’t deserve
your skills anyways.”

“Oh, that’s easy for you to say.” His nonchalant
tone got her back up. Had he suffered through years of mental and emotional abuse
praying one day for liberation and a better life? Had he carried two jobs in
order to pay for law school while being uncertain of whether or not it would
even pay off in the future? She had worked her ass off to get where she was and
in order to take her career to the next level, sacrifices needed to be made. She
sat straighter in the tub now, hugging tight to her knees. “You’re a junior
partner in one of the most prestigious law firms in the city. I’m not. Every
client counts to me. You have no idea what I’ve gone through to get where I am.”

“That’s not entirely true,” he murmured and Eve
narrowed her eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I might not know all of the details, but I do
know some.” He cupped a palm over her knee and squeezed. “She’ll throttle me
for telling you this, but Caitlyn clued me in on a few things.”

Shocked, Eve stared. “You…you spoke to Caitlyn
about me? Why?”

“I wanted to know more about you. I’ve always
known you weren’t a Mistress, but I wanted to know the reason behind the lie.
Cait filled in the blanks. She told me a little about your mother and how hard
you’ve worked to overcome diversity. You’re an admirable woman, Eve.”

Though she should’ve felt betrayed by her best
friend and irritated that Donavan would go behind her back, she didn’t. She
felt strangely relieved. For years she had buried her past, refusing to speak
of it with anyone other than Caitlyn for fear of it somehow tainting her
future. No one knew where she grew up or where she came from. No one but
Caitlyn understood what made her tick and fueled her determination. Now, Donavan
did.

Eve looked in his eyes then, expecting to see
pity. What she saw was respect. A lightness filled her and in that moment she
felt closer to him than she had any other person in her life.

“You understand why I lied then?”

Donavan cupped her face in his hand and stroked
his strong thumb over her cheek. “Yes. I understand.”

“Oh God, you don’t know how relieved I am to hear
you say that.” She closed her eyes and turned her face more firmly into his
palm. The strength of his hand radiated through her, cleansing the demons of
her past. She grasped his wrist and pulled his hand down to cradle it between
both of hers then brushed her mouth lightly over his knuckles.

“So, you won’t tell anyone about this weekend
then? About me being a submissive?”

Donavan sat straighter, the muscles throughout
his shoulders and chest tensing. In silence, he pulled his hand free from her,
reached for a towel, and proceeded to dry his hands.

His brow remained knitted for a long time before
he actually spoke. “I didn’t think I’d have to tell anyone. I assumed it’d be
obvious when we were seen together romantically.”

“Well, I was sort of hoping we could keep things
between just the two of us for now. I mean, with the big win last week I’m at a
crossroad with my career. If I’m going to be offered a partnership in any of
the competitive firms, I can’t afford anything negative circulating through the
grapevine.”

“Right,” Donavan agreed in a crisp tone.

He rose from the step and turned his back to her.
Tension filled the air and Eve’s body. She watched him roughly shove a hand
through his hair and heard him swear under his breath. Suddenly the bitter
sound of silence swallowed her premature relief. Was it something she said
making his stance so rigid? They were having a wonderful time until the
business conversation.

She scrubbed her palms over her arms to rid the
sudden chill in the room, but it didn’t help. Was it wrong of her to want to
keep things on the down low for the time being? Her desires might have come
across a little harsh but surely he understood her need for professionalism.
Maybe she sounded ungrateful for the pleasure he had shown her this weekend.
Could that be why it seemed like he was angry with her? Quietly, Eve rose from
the water and grabbed a towel.

Bath time was over.

Eve swallowed hard as she approached Donavan from
behind. Waves of tension billowed off of him and constricted her throat.

She reached out to touch him then hesitated as if
an invisible wall erected between them. She lowered her hand and fidgeted with
her fingers. “Please, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying I don’t want more
between us. This weekend was amazing.
You’re
amazing. But you are right.
We do run in the same circles and you’ve never hidden who you are. If we’re
seen romantically, together people will draw their own conclusions. I’m just
not sure it’s worth the risk right now.”

He spoke with his back to her. “You mean you’re
not sure
I’m
worth the risk.”

His words stung her, but she couldn’t deny his
icy remark held a measure of truth.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He whipped around and the irritated expression on
his face caused Eve’s insides to ache. “I want you to say that what’s going on
between us right now is worth more than a few narrow-minded clients who might
discover who you really are and judge you for it. I want you to say you’re done
hiding.”

“You of all people are going to talk to me about
hiding?” Frustration welled in her throat. “You’ve spent the last ten years
bouncing from woman to woman, steering clear of commitment because you’re
afraid of turning into your father. Now you’ve suddenly had a change of heart
and I’m just supposed to hop on board?”

His steely gaze burned into her. “I had no reason
to change until now.”

Eve’s pulse hammered in her temples. Though his
words were spoken with pure conviction, his declaration didn’t convince her
what they’d shared could ever be long term. She wanted to believe they could
build a relationship together, but his track record said otherwise. Maybe he
could change his life for her. Her mother hadn’t been able to. There were
countless times her mother promised to quit drinking so they could both have a
better life. Eve stopped believing her when she turned eleven and the tally
exceeded double digits.

“You don’t believe me,” he murmured then swore
under his breath. “You don’t believe that what we shared this weekend can last.
You’re afraid once I’ve had my fill of you, I’ll move on to the next skirt and
you’ll have risked your reputation for nothing.”

“Am I wrong?”

Donavan scoffed. “Oh, you must think I’m a real
shallow prick.”

He headed for the bedroom.

“No. No I don’t think that.” Eve followed quickly
behind him. “I just think things are moving quickly, for both of us. Sometimes
people confuse sex and love.”

“I never said I loved you.” He stared at her from
across the bed and jerked his shirt on so hard it made a snapping sound. “Though
if I did, I imagine you wouldn’t believe me anyways.”

Maybe she wouldn’t. Eve didn’t know for certain.
His lifestyle and history was clear evidence that he wasn’t exactly the type to
settle down with one woman. Even if he did tell her he loved her, would she
believe that it wasn’t because of a spell cast by the seduction of Eden? It
hardly mattered. He hadn’t professed love for her. The look in his eyes spoke
more of disappointment than any type of affection. Why did that hurt her so
much? Did she want his love? Perhaps part of her did.

Speechless, she watched him fight with the
buttons on his shirt. Only when he finished fastening half of them and stormed
to the door did she find her voice. “Look, all I’m asking for is a little
discretion until we find out whether or not we’re any good together outside
these walls.”

“Nothing in life is ever guaranteed, Eve.” He
unlocked the door.

Lower lip trembling, tears burned her eyes. “You’re
leaving? Why?”

Pausing with his hand on the knob, he glanced
over his shoulder. His gray eyes found hers across the room and Eve’s heart
lurched. “Because I’m not prepared to be the next dirty little secret in your
closet.”

The door clicked shut behind him and an instant
heaviness accompanied the finality of the sound.

Dumbfounded, Eve stared blankly at the door.

A few minutes passed. Ten. Maybe even fifteen.
Realizing Donavan wasn’t coming back, a violent knot constricted in Eve’s
chest. Nearly doubling over, she clutched at her towel and winced through a
kind of pain she was completely unfamiliar with.

Heartbreak? Is that what this
wretched sensation is? You’ve got to be kidding me.

She stole a glance around the empty room and
flashes of memories assaulted her—the strength of Donavan’s hands, the sinful
pressure of his mouth, the low, reassuring sound of his voice.

“It was only one weekend of sex for God’s sake,”
she told herself on the end of an angry sob.

But it wasn’t only one weekend of sex. Donavan
had taken the time to break through her walls, to make her feel secure and
wanted and beautiful. He helped her discover her needs and then fulfilled them
without expectation. In the end, all he asked for was that she put a little
faith in him, yet she couldn’t even bring herself to do that. Why?

An icy chill swept over her damp skin and her
lower lip began to tremble. This wasn’t how the weekend was supposed to turn
out. She wasn’t supposed to be standing here with a broken heart and her secret
exposed. She hugged herself tighter and tried to blink back the water pooling
in her eyes.

Quickly as their connection formed through
intimacy and understanding, she let insecurity and fear sever it. Apparently
Donavan was right.
Nothing in life is ever guaranteed.

****

“I’ll have the rosemary duck in the red wine
sauce with the roasted baby potatoes and a garden salad to start. Oh! And, can
you please put the dressing on the side? Fantastic. Thank you.” Caitlyn Ward
Chambers beamed up at the waiter as he jotted down her order then turned his
attention on Eve.

“Um…just a garden salad, put the dressing
wherever you want.” The waiter inclined his head, retrieved the menus, then
headed for the kitchen.