Legacy of the Mind (28 page)

The meditation settled and Anita looked around confused, wondering if something had gone wrong.  ‘Hey,’ said Alexander, ‘everything ok?’  Alexander had never felt anything like this before either, he’d practiced the love pose only a handful of times before, and never with anyone he actually loved.  It was incredible the power that was flooding between them and he was savouring the sensation, forgetting that Anita would be full of confusion.

‘Yeah, I have literally never felt better.  The power is incredible, you can feel it too?’

Alexander nodded, ‘I’ve never felt anything like it, it’s extraordinary.’

Anita sat up a little to make sure she wasn’t missing anything.  ‘The pool is a place in your head?’ she asked cautiously.

Alexander sat up on his elbows, making sure he kept hold of her hand, he’d forgotten all about where they were given all the excitement.  ‘It’s more than just a place in my head,’ he explained softly, ‘this is my Centre.’

‘This is your Centre?’ she repeated back to him stunned, trying to work out what this news meant.  ‘Why?’ she asked, the best she could come up with.

‘Why is anyone’s Centre what it is?’ he laughed, ‘I’ve looked into all the research there is, but there’s nothing concrete about what causes our Centres to be what they are.  There’s speculation it’s inherited from parents, but I don’t know what my parents’ Centres were and Philip would never go anywhere near the topic, so I couldn’t ask him.  Given most people don’t even know how to meditate properly, the research is pretty limited, and those who do know usually consider it a sign of weakness for others to know the places in their heads.  You’re the only one that knows any of mine,’ he said, looking down self-consciously.

She turned her head to look at him, rolling her body towards him so she could place her free hand on the side of his face and gently turn it back towards her.  She looked into his blue eyes, seeing there a reflection of the longing she felt and dipped her head to kiss his stubborn lips.  As their lips touched they felt a jolt of energy like nothing either of them had ever felt before, so strong it was almost painful.  They responded instinctively, Alexander rolling his shoulders towards her, wrapping one arm around her, pulling her to him, his other hand grabbing a handful of her hair, locking her lips to his.  He rolled her gently backwards, lowering her lightly to the ground, pining her there with his weight.  The world around Anita seemed to swirl, she had no idea if she was sitting, lying, standing, floating, she was lost in his mouth, his smell, the hard contours of his body.  It was like she was both grounded, supported by the grass pushing up against her back and at the same time suspended, drifting in the air.  Alexander pulled back, his breath ragged, looking hungrily down at Anita’s serene figure on the grass.  He leant back towards her, planting soft, slow, heavy kisses over her face, Anita running her fingers playfully across the exposed skin at his neck.  He bit her lip exquisitely, seductively and Anita’s stomach clenched.  She took a deep breath and pushed him gently away, sitting up to face him.

‘I think I love you, Alexander,’ she said huskily.

He looked ecstatically back at her, ‘I think I love you too.’  He pulled her to him, folding his arms protectively around her, caressing her back, not quite believing he wasn’t in a dream.

‘I think it’s time to wake up now,’ said Anita, ‘it’s so perfect, what I’m about to say isn’t allowed in here.’  Alexander pulled them abruptly out of the meditation, not sure he wanted to hear what she had to say.  They woke up to the feeling they were falling, their stomachs lurching upwards as they landed on the ground with a heavy thump.

‘What was that?’ asked Anita alarmed.

Alexander looked astonished, ‘I don’t believe it,’ he said delighted.

‘What?’

‘We were floating, when we were meditating.  I’ve heard about this happening, but only ever at the Spirit Temple in the clouds and never without extensive practice.  I just can’t believe it,’ he said, grabbing her and pulling her into a rough, excited embrace.  Anita had never seen Alexander so animated, so went with it, clearly this was a big deal.  A couple of seconds later Alexander let her go, remembering why they’d left the meditation so quickly.  ‘What did you want to talk about?’ he said quickly, bracing himself for the worst.

Anita took a deep breath.  ‘I love you Alexander, but I owe it to Marcus that nothing more happens between us until I’ve had a chance to end it with him first.’

‘Is that all?’ Alexander asked relieved.

‘Yes!  What did you think I was going to say?’

‘I don’t know, that we couldn’t be together, or something equally horrible.’

She took his hand.  ‘Alexander, when I meditated with Marcus it was also in the love pose.  I’d never even heard of the pose, let alone practiced it, you stayed away from it for obvious reasons, but when I meditated with Marcus the feeling was less intense than when you and I meditate normally together.  I thought maybe that was just because Marcus is a Mind and you are a Spirit, but after what I just felt, I know that can’t be all it is.  I don’t feel for Marcus what I feel for you,’ she said hesitantly, ‘it’s as simple as that, but I don’t want to cheat on him, I can’t do that to him after what he did to get Austin to let me go.’

‘I understand,’ he replied.  ‘You’ve been through a lot together.’

‘I just hope me leaving him won’t push him further towards Austin.’

‘It might,’ Alexander said truthfully, ‘but Marcus and his choices are not your responsibility.  He has to account for his own actions and you have to account for yours.  To stay with him when you don’t love him wouldn’t be good for either of you.’

‘I know,’ she said.  ‘I’ve made my mind up; I just need to talk to him.  Come on, let’s go, the longer we’re alone together the more likely my resolve is to break,’ she flirted.

He smiled as he got up and took her hand to help her to her feet.  They left, Alexander firmly closing the door behind them before taking Anita’s hand, leading her back the way they had come.  Neither of them noticed Gwyn hiding in the shadows watching them leave, her energy supressed as low as she could make it go.  She’d been in the tunnels earlier and had heard Anita and Alexander coming towards her.  She’d ducked into a side tunnel and supressed her energy, hoping they wouldn’t see her, but she’d kicked a lantern as she went, a muffled scraping noise floating to their ears.  They’d paused at the sound, however when nothing followed, they’d carried on, Alexander explaining to Anita that it was probably someone from above.

Gwyn had silently followed them to the pool, and watched as they’d entered and closed the door.  She couldn’t follow them inside; they would have heard the door open, not to mention that Alexander would have definitely detected her energy.  Instead, she waited until they came out, seeing if they would give anything away.  To her great disappointment they moved silently back towards Alexander’s chambers, but they were still holding hands and Gwyn reasoned that was suspicious enough for Marcus to want to know about it.  If her boyfriend had been down here with another girl, she would want to know, and anyway she didn’t like Anita, so it would give her great pleasure to cause her some pain.

Gwyn went straight to the castle, telling Amber she had something she urgently needed to discuss with Marcus when she got there.  Amber let her in and told Gwyn to go up to Marcus’ suite and knock on the door, she was still bitter about having to take orders from him, so she was damned if she was going to go and ask him if this was a call he wanted to take.

Gwyn climbed the stairs and knocked on his door, Marcus surprised to see her when he answered.  ‘Gwyn?’ he said hesitantly, ‘what’s up?’

She hadn’t stayed long, just long enough to tell him what she’d seen, twisting the knife a bit by adding an embellishment here and there.  Marcus had remained composed, which had surprised her; she’d expected a jealous rage.  He thanked her and showed her out, not quite sure of the best way to handle the information.  He tried to stay calm, however couldn’t think of a single legitimate reason for them to be at the pool together, especially not holding hands.  He decided the best thing to do would be to talk to Anita about it, so he barked for Amber to get him his driver, bossing her around was never going to get old, and headed to Cordelia’s to see what she had to say.

Anita had just got home, still on a high from what had happened with Alexander.  They hadn’t kissed when they’d said goodbye, respecting Anita’s wishes to tell Marcus first, and this had only served to add to the tension.  She was replaying their most recent kiss during the meditation in her mind when Marcus’ voice pierced her daydream, his footsteps following his call.

‘Anita?  Are you here?’

‘Hi,’ she said, a little off balance.  Why was he here?  ‘Good day?’ she asked, trying to buy herself a bit of time to get back on kilter.

‘There’s something I need to discuss with you,’ he said tersely, trying to keep his tone as even as he could, however irritation plain to read on his face.

‘What is it?’ she asked, concerned.  The only saving grace was that this couldn’t be about what had just happened with Alexander.

‘Tell me,’ he said abruptly, ‘how is Alexander?’

Shit.  ‘He’s very well, I’ve just seen him in fact,’ she replied tensely, trying hard not to escalate the situation.

‘Really?’ he said feigning innocence, ‘why did you see him?’

‘We’re friends, it was good to catch up, we meditated together.  As you know I’ve found meditation very helpful recently.’

‘I think it would be best if you don’t see Alexander any longer,’ said Marcus, as though this were a perfectly normal thing to drop into conversation.

‘I’m sorry, what?’ Anita spluttered out in shock, half laughing.  They’d had an unspoken understanding that Anita would stay away from Alexander before, but the words had never actually been said, and she’d only obliged as she’d been working for Helena and hadn’t wanted to do anything to piss him off.

‘I think it would be best if you don’t see Alexander any longer,’ he repeated, condescendingly.

‘Yes, I heard what you said; I’m just in shock that you think you can dictate who I’m allowed to see.’

Marcus was a little taken aback; he’d expected her to reluctantly agree with him, seeing the logic behind what he was saying.  ‘But I think it is for the best, don’t you?’

‘What does that even mean?  Why would it be for the best for me not to see one of my friends?’

‘Because I’m uncomfortable with you holding hands with your male friends,’ he said venomously.  Anita went cold.  How could he possibly know that?  ‘It’s not like this is the first time you’ve been caught holding Alexander’s hand in public.’

By the Gods, how had he found out?  Surely not from Alexander?  ‘Marcus, I hope you realise what you sound like.  You sound exactly like your father.  You can’t order me around, or force me to do things I don’t want to do, whether you think it’s for the best or not.  I’m an adult, quite capable of making my own choices and I choose to spend time with Alexander.’  She paused, steeling herself for what she was going to say next, ‘and in fact, I choose not to spend time with you anymore.’

The colour drained from his face, ‘what?’ he whispered, looking lost.  ‘You can’t break up with me.  I love you.’

Tears pricked at Anita’s eyes.  She didn’t want to hurt him, but there was no other way.  ‘Marcus, since,’ she paused, taking a deep breath, ‘since you convinced your father to set me free, you’ve changed.  Austin has let you into his inner circle and you’re obviously happy about that, but I don’t like the person he’s turning you into.  He’s closing your eyes to what’s really going on in the world, he’s making you kick people when they’re down, and above all, he turning you into someone like him.’

Marcus didn’t know what to say.  Anita was wrong, he was nothing like Austin, he was doing what he was doing to put himself in a position of strength, so he could protect them both from Austin in the future.  ‘You’re wrong,’ he stuttered, ‘I’m not turning into him, I’m making sure I can protect us.’

‘You think Austin isn’t clever enough to see through that?  He’s immersing you in his shady world so that one day you will be so far in that you can’t get out.  I don’t want to be a part of that,’ she said, the tears overflowing, ‘and I don’t want you to either.  You are an amazing, genuine person Marcus. You take life at face value and that suits you, it makes you fun and daring and carefree, it’s what drew me to you when I first met you, but I can’t be part of this any longer, you need to work out who you want to be on your own.  If you want to be like Austin, then carry on as you are, if not, then you need to get out before you’re so far in that your trapped forever.’

Marcus felt like she’d ripped a hole in his chest; he’d never loved anyone like he loved Anita.  ‘I thought you loved me?’ he choked, thinking maybe this would remind her that she really did want to be with him.

‘I do Marcus, but I don’t want to be under your control.  If the way you try to show me you love me is by trying to stop me from seeing my friends, then it’s not a relationship I can be in with all my heart.  It may just be Alexander now, but what if you decide you don’t like Cleo, or Bas, or you think that someone looks at me the wrong way?  I can’t live like that.  I don’t want to live like that.  I’m sorry Marcus but it’s over.’  She said it as gently as she could whilst conveying the finality of her decision, wiping away the tears still trickling down her face.

Marcus couldn’t believe this was happening, he kept hoping he was about to wake up from a bad dream, Anita lying by his side, but he didn’t.  He turned to leave; there was no reason for him to stay any longer, his mind racing as he left the room.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Anita said softly as he left, sinking to the sofa and pulling a cushion towards her, unable to stop the tears that just kept coming.  She had known it wouldn’t be easy, but that had been a lot harder then she’d expected.  She felt horrible and hated to think what Marcus might do now.  She just hoped it didn’t push him further towards his father, that some of what she’d said had gone in.

‘Hello?’ called a voice from the corridor, Cleo appearing at the door and rushing over to her best friend when she saw her tears.  ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked concerned, as she put her arms round Anita and pulled her in.  ‘What happened?’

‘I just broke up with Marcus,’ she sobbed, ‘and he didn’t take it very well.’

Cleo pushed Anita away so she could look at her face.  ‘You did what?  Doesn’t that put you in a bit of a dangerous predicament?’

‘I don’t care about that.  If Austin wants to come after me then he’ll come after me, but he was just so hurt, I feel horrible.’

‘Why did you do it?’  Anita had never acted like this before, she’d always been so tough; Cleo wasn’t sure how to handle a teary Anita.

‘Because I realised that I love Alexander.’

‘I see,’ said Cleo, her tone turning firm.  ‘So you are sitting here sobbing into a cushion like some silly girl when you broke up with Marcus because some other man wants to be with you?  Please get it together.’

Anita looked at Cleo, shocked at her lack of compassion.  ‘I feel like a total bitch for hurting him,’ she said defensively.

‘Well I’m sure you’ll get over that as soon as you’re back looking longingly into Alexander’s beautiful eyes.  Bloody hell, some people,’ Cleo said cattily, getting up and pacing across the room.

Cleo’s reaction had a sobering effect on Anita.  Maybe she was being a little melodramatic after all; it wasn’t like her to let things get to her like this.  ‘Is everything ok Cleo?’ Anita asked, wiping away the last of her tears and putting aside the offending cushion.

‘No, everything is not bloody well ok.  It’s alright for you, Miss ‘I’ve got two men chasing after me, but boo hoo I’ve just had to tell one of the Descendants I’m not interested because I’d rather shag the other one,’ but for those of us living in the real world, men are total shits who don’t turn up for dates like they said they’re going to.’

Anita realised that because of all the drama going on in her own life, she’d been totally neglecting her best friend and everything going on with her.  ‘Sorry Cleo, I’ve been horrible recently, what’s going on?’

Cleo looked relieved she had a chance to get her story off her chest and sat back down on the sofa.  ‘Well you know I’ve been seeing that Councillor’s son off and on, the one I went to the ball with?’

Anita nodded, ‘of course, Henry.’

‘Yes, Henry.  Well we’ve been seeing quite a lot of each other recently and it’s been going really well, but he was supposed to be taking me to Bas’ concert tonight…you’re coming too, right?’

Shit, she had forgotten all about it.  She needed to pull it together on the friend front and stop being so self-obsessed, she thought, nodding to Cleo, ‘of course.’

‘Anyway, Henry was supposed to pick me up earlier.  We were going to go for dinner and then go on to the concert, but he stood me up.  I walked into town, thinking he must have just lost track of time or something, but as I walked past Temple Mews, I saw him all over some other girl outside the flower shop.  I went over to him and tapped him on the shoulder and when he saw it was me he turned away dismissively and said he would see me later.  I slapped him, obviously, a little melodramatic perhaps, but it made me feel better and then I stormed off, I didn’t want to make a proper scene.  Stupid arrogant arsehole,’ she said, feeling much happier just to be replaying the story to someone else.

‘What an idiot,’ said Anita, ‘the Councillors’ children always seem to think they’re something special and they’re really not.’

‘Well anyway, I won’t be seeing him again.  Pity, the sex was good.’

Anita smiled indulgently, ‘come on, we’ll be late for Bas’ concert, and you never know, you might find some fresh meat.’

‘Let’s hope so,’ she said frivolously.

‘Cleo,’ Anita said, stopping before they left the house.

‘Uh huh?’

‘I’m really sorry I’ve been so self-absorbed for the last few weeks.  I promise not to be from now on.’

‘Don’t be silly, you’ve had a lot going on.  I forgive you, just don’t do it again.  That includes the getting kidnapped bit as well.’

Anita laughed, ‘I’ll do my best.  Nice touch with the slap by the way.’

‘Thanks, I thought so.’