Leave Me Breathless (9 page)

Callie pressed her thighs tighter against his hips and watched his eyes roll back. “What, you can’t talk when we’re like this?” She seriously thought about dropping her hand between them but knew that would end the discussion a beat too soon.

“I’d get to your point fast, if I were you.” He half spoke and half groaned. “Like ten seconds ago.”

“I was just trying to understand the Mark-Ben-Emma dynamic.

“Didn’t I just explain?”

Not in any way where she understood it. “You have an annoying habit of talking in semicircles. Remember how I told you about your tendency for jackassery? Yeah, this is it.”

“Are we fighting? Because, if so, I’ll have to concede. No way can I follow along when you’re pulsing around my dick like that.”

“You poor thing.” She clamped down even harder on the tiny muscles wrapped around his erection.

His breath rushed in on a rough intake. “Damn, woman.”

“Just trying to get your attention.”

“You have it.” Ben exhaled a few times. “Okay, let’s just clarify this so that we never have to talk about this subject again.”

Ben slid his hands up and pressed his palms against her cheeks. Bringing her close, he kissed her. It was hot and long and made her heart double thump with each beat. When he finally lifted his head her vision blurred.

“Even though you claim to be asking another question, I do want you to know that I’ve never,” he said as his second kiss followed the first. “And I mean ever, made a move on Emma. We’re friends. No sex. No dating. I’m not playing games when I say that. We didn’t even toy with the idea.”

Callie sensed that was the case, but having it confirmed in the strongest terms possible made her heart do a little dance. “Because of Mark?”

“Because the feelings just weren’t there. Not on my side, anyway,” Ben said.

Callie tried to remember the last time she heard such a terrific sentence. “Emma is pretty.”

“Shhh.” Ben slipped a finger over Callie’s lips. “For Emma it was a matter of her wanting Mark. I was never even a contender, not that I wanted to be. She turns to me as a friend. She turns to Mark for everything else.”

“Interesting.” Callie wondered if Mark understood that distinction.

“And that’s enough talk about Emma and Mark and every other person we know. It’s time for us to concentrate on just us.” Ben wrapped his arm around her waist and dragged them both down on the mattress.

On their sides, with their noses touching and their bodies joined, his mouth covered hers. The kiss rumbled through her from head to foot, cascading and swirling until she forgot everything and everyone.

“You make a good argument for changing the conversation,” Callie mumbled against his lips as she fought for a quick breath.

She wasn’t one step closer to understanding the relationship between Mark and Ben, and there was something funky there that she wanted to analyze, but there would be time for that later. Now was the time for Ben to impress her with his sexual expertise.

“Let me show you what happens when a woman isn’t just a friend.” His hands moved to her stomach, then lower.

When his fingers found the place where their bodies met and started rubbing her, Callie actually felt sorry for Emma.

T
he next afternoon, Ben sat in his office and stared across his desk at his brother. Mark’s mood was even less pleasant than usual. He had been serious and talking in short sentences ever since he arrived with take-out Chinese food for their informal lunch meeting ten minutes earlier. If Mark was getting regular sex from Emma it was not helping his sour disposition one bit.

“How’s Keith?” Ben asked, aiming for a somewhat neutral topic.

Mark pushed the noodles around in his Styrofoam container with his fork. “He gets out of the hospital today.”

“Oh, that’s good. Yeah.” Well, it was for Keith. For Ben, not so much.

Keith checking out meant returning to work, which meant Callie going back to signing off before the sun went down. Sure, they could still be together, but Keith would have to know and all of the details would become part of Keith’s nightly report to Mark.

“You’re pathetic.” Mark shook his head but didn’t look up.

Ben realized only Mark could get away with talking to him like that. Well, Mark and Callie. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Doesn’t anyone around here care that I’m a judge and can throw people in jail?”

Mark lifted his head. Instead of frowning, a small smile crossed his lips. “Don’t worry. I’m putting Keith on another job. Your arrangement with Callie remains secure.”

And here Ben was ready to jump all over Mark. Set him straight and call him off Callie. That one comment saved all of that fight. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“While it’s tempting to play musical bodyguards just to piss you off, that sort of thing will only draw more attention to you and cause me paperwork.”

Ben hid his smile rather than risk pissing Mark off even more. “I can’t figure out if you’re a hopeless romantic or just hopeless.”

“The latter, but the point is that you get to keep Callie. For now.”

Ben doubted Callie would appreciate the way Mark phrased that, but
hot damn.

“She’s competent.” Ben decided Mark had spent too much time with Emma when he did a deadpan impression of her eye roll. “Yes? Something you want to say?”

“And people say I lack a romantic side,” Mark said.

“I sure as hell say that about you.”

Mark used his fork as a pointer. “You’re sleeping with her.”

“Who?”

Mark’s mouth twisted into a not-so-welcoming face. “Don’t.”

“Callie.” Ben figured now was as good a time as any to broach this subject. “About that. Are you going to yell at me like you did her? Or are you smart enough to know that will land you on your ass?”

“Lot of good it did me to try to talk some sense into her. She crawled right back into bed with you. It’s part of why I’m conceding now. It’s a lost cause to keep you away from her.” Mark held up his hand. “And before you ask, I can tell from the stupid grin on your face, so don’t bother denying it.”

Ben had no intention of doing that. Not when being with Callie suited him just fine. “Then you can also ease up. Callie knows what she’s doing.”

“She had a job and failed.”

“She was doing everything I wanted her to do.”

Mark dropped his fork, letting it thump against the wood desk. “I meant protecting you. Not sleeping with you, you jackass.”

“I was fine with her right where she was. Trust me.” Yeah, Callie would hate him throwing that out there, but he did it anyway.

“What if—”

Rage banged against the inside of Ben’s head. “Mark, knock it off. You have a problem with me, you talk to me. No more beating her up or trying to break her down. The threats stop, as does the meddling.”

“Wrong. She works for me. I expect professionalism and a daily report. Instead, she…she does whatever she wants. Ignores authority.”

“Is that really a surprise from someone who’s former FBI and can out-swear a sailor?” Ben waited to see if Mark would take the bait. Ben had tried to get a copy of Callie’s employment file. To figure out what happened to her career in the Bureau. No luck.

“I thought she could learn from past mistakes.”

Ben had no idea why anyone would think that. There was nothing in Callie’s personality that suggested she would bend. She’d been swearing and disrespecting him from the second she met him. He had wanted her in his bed a second after that.

“She’s off limits to you from now on.” Ben was prepared to back up that statement however he had to. It wouldn’t be the first time they raised fists to solve a brotherly argument. “She’s strong. I’m trained. I have security all over this building. We got it covered.”

“You’re talking about the same security that was in place where Keith got attacked?” Mark snorted. “Not your strongest argument.”

But Ben had a better one. An obvious one that Mark refused to see.

“I’m not a scared kid anymore.” Ben needed his brother to get it.

“I know that.”

“Do you?”

“That’s not what this is about.”

“What the hell is it then? I went off to Operation Desert Storm before I was out of my teens. Got shot at. Killed for my country. Came back and struggled through law school because I didn’t want to aim a weapon at anyone ever again. But I can if I have to. I can also fight with my hands and feet, dirty or clean, whatever it takes to win. You made sure of that.”

Mark gave a smile tinged with pride. “You were a good student.”

“Then tell me why you’re so fucking sure I can’t handle myself.”

“I’ll remind you again that someone tried to blow you up. You think your hands will help you in that kind of situation? You gonna pound a bomb with your fists?”

Ben closed his eyes to try to stop the banging in his head. “Mark, come on.”

“You know why.” Mark delivered the reason on a harsh whisper.

The memories came rushing back. The hounding of the press. The brutal bullying at school. Being shuffled off to live with their grandparents in the short punishing days following their parents’ funerals. Those images sat in Ben’s mind, fading only slightly with the passing of the years. A name change. A school change. A deafening silence whenever he searched for answers as to what went so wrong that afternoon.

But those days were long gone. Ben sighed, letting his building frustration escape. “I don’t need you leading the way or making the bad news better. Not now. Not for years.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a hard habit to break,” Mark said as he shoved the carton of food away from him. “Seeing you in the hospital after the explosion brought it all back.”

“When we lost Dad—”

Mark held up a firm hand. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“But it impacts everything. You, me…Emma.”

“She’s fine.”

Mark could not be that clueless. Hell, Callie knew them all for a few days and already she picked up the vibe. “Emma is not fine, and you know it. Her career is imploding and she’s lost her will to hear the cases.”

“She’s scared, but she’ll get through.”

Not like this. Not when she put the rest of her life on hold waiting for Mark to get his act together. “You going to stay as her bodyguard?”

“Yes.”

“How are you going to explain that?”

“With the bomb, there’s nothing unusual about Emma having protection. No need for any special cover for me.”

“And what are you going to do about the part where you walk in and out of her life all the time? It destroys her.”

Mark went from carving lines in his food container to high alert. “How do you get to that?”

“I have eyes.”

The skin pulled tight around Mark’s mouth. “
I’m
not the reason she dumped that jackass of a fiancé.”

This again
. “Yes, you are. It’s never been about me. Not for Emma.”

Mark held his brother’s gaze for an extra beat before talking again. “The report came in on the bomb.”

Typical Mark. When emotions hit the table, he hit the streets.

“Are we done talking about you and Emma?” Ben asked.

“Yes.” Mark sat back in a leather chair that barely held him. “No fingerprints or fibers. The materials were store bought and nothing special. The squad is sifting through everything looking for a signature because the working theory is that someone paid for a professional to make and plant the bomb.”

“You’re thinking this was Jenner or his wife?”

“Both are under surveillance, but I don’t think so. There’s no consistency to the signature. A bomb, a threatening note. This feels messier. Not the style of someone as anal retentive and plan oriented as Jenner.”

“You get anything from the note to me?”

“Another dead end.”

Silence followed Mark’s statement. Ben guessed his brother was winding down, ready to leave. The conversation circled and wandered, but Ben tried one more time. “You’ll have to deal with it one day, you know,” he said into the quiet.

“What, Jenner?”

“Emma.”

Mark’s frown deepened. “We understand each other just fine.”

“Which is good for me.”

“Why?”

“I figure if you’re sleeping with Emma, you can’t very well turn around and piss all over me for sleeping with Callie.” Made sense to Ben. Kept them from throwing off the suit jackets and going into battle.

Mark’s scowl suggested he wasn’t buying it. “Don’t agree with that assessment at all.”

Nothing new there. “You better get used to it, Mark.”

“I just want to catch the bastard who’s after you and Emma, and then let our lives get back to normal.”

Ben wasn’t sure he even knew what that was anymore. “Agreed.”

C
allie sat in the small library directly across from Ben’s private office and stared at the closed door for the fortieth time. Mark had walked in there fifteen minutes ago. He didn’t tell her to keep out. Didn’t have to. His lack of communication and stiff body language said it all.

She wasn’t really up for another round with Mark. Sleeping two hours at night did that to a woman. Rounds of lovemaking pulled her off her game. She could describe every inch of Ben’s naked body without even closing her eyes to call up the memory, but listening to Mark drone on about principles and ethics and whatever other boring topic he had in mind was not on her daily agenda.

She rubbed her eyes. When she dropped her hand again, she saw Rod standing in the doorway. And here she didn’t think her day could get worse.

“Hello.” She made sure her tone was as unwelcoming as possible.

“You’re here.”

The kid was a genius. A snarky, ass-kissing genius. “Where else would I be?”

“Good question.”

The way he smiled ticked her off. Hell, everything about him rubbed her wrong. The moneyed affect in his expensive boarding-school voice. The ever-present striped tie. The way he did everything but lick Ben’s shoes to get his attention. Rod was everything she hated in a male. But she figured the sooner she let him say whatever it was he wanted to say, the faster she could go back to figuring out a way to infiltrate Ben’s office without being seen.

“You want something?” she asked.

Rod continued to lounge in the doorway with an annoying smirk on his face. “He did just fine without an assistant.”

Callie wondered how long it would be before Rod would open that door. Four days. Not bad for an annoying shit of a parasite. “I assume you’re talking about me.”

“Everyone is.”

“Oh, really?”

“The news is all over the courthouse.”

She had no idea what that meant. “Didn’t they teach you to be specific in law school?”

“You slept at his house.”

Wow, that was sure some strong courthouse grapevine. The bottom line was right, but the specifics got all tangled up somehow. Made Callie wonder who had been spying and how he or she missed which house she dragged Ben to yesterday. “No, I didn’t.”

“Don’t lie about it.” Rod all but spit the words at her.

The little creep was working on her nerves. “I’m not.”

“Did you even go to law school?”

She barely made it through community college. Couldn’t imagine willingly going through more years of classes and paying an ass-load of money to do it. “Nope, but I never claimed to be a lawyer.”

“In his position and with his professional reputation, the judge could have his pick of lawyers to work for him.”

“Maybe the judge is sick of snotty-ass lawyers.”

“Why you?” The nasty sneer reflected Rod’s anger. “I don’t get it.”

As far as Callie could tell, there was a lot young Rod didn’t understand. Knowing when a woman who could kick his scrawny ass stood right in front of him was one of those things. “Why don’t you say what you want to say?”

“Not my place.”

She threw her arms wide. “Oh, you’re all about boundaries all of a sudden?”

Rod snorted. “You should talk.”

Yeah, one more sarcastic comment and she was pulling the gun. “Say it, Rod. Whatever it is you are dying to tell me, just say it.”

“I don’t—”

“Stop being a pansy and say it.”

Rod shook his head. “There is nothing special about you. What does he see in you?”

If she were honest, she’d been wondering about that as well. She didn’t have Ben’s education or reputation. She’d messed up her career by opening her big mouth when everyone else had been smart enough to stay quiet. No one looked at her and saw a superstar. Yet, somehow, she held Ben’s interest. The question was how long that would last.

“Most people like me,” she said.

“Not around here.”

“I’m sure you’ve been telling nice stories to anyone who would listen.” She knew that was the case. Hell, he wasn’t the only one who heard things around the courthouse. This kid had been yapping his mouth about her and not saying anything good.

“You’re sleeping with the judge. That’s your position in the courthouse.”

“Be careful with that.” She pointed at Rod to emphasize her point.

“It’s disgusting. Your whole job is to shut the door and get the judge off.”

She had to give the kid some credit for driving right to the basket. Not much, but some. “Nice language.”

“So you admit it then.”

“No, I was commenting on how you finally stopped sulking around and confronted me. I’m impressed. Reluctantly, but at least you stopped hiding behind the judge’s pants leg.”

“I don’t know who you think you are.”

“The person who, as you point out, spends every hour with Judge Walker. Morning, noon, and night.” She made sure to emphasize all three. Let the little twerp take that to mean whatever he wanted it to mean. “I have Ben’s ear, and you don’t.”

Rod’s mouth dropped open. “You call him Ben?”

She called Ben Studmuffin when he stood in her kitchen wearing only a towel and making her coffee earlier that morning, but that struck her as one of those private bits that better remain quiet. “That’s really what’s killing you here, Rod. People’s titles?”

“You’re just a stupid slut. You know it and I know it.”

Right over the line
. Time for her to smack the little shit back down. “Watch it, kid.”

“Why should I?”

She stood up. Tugged on the bottom of her jacket to straighten it. Also had the added advantage of covering her gun, though letting this weasel see it had some merits. “You have two seconds to turn around and leave. Strike that, to
shut up
, turn around, and leave. We’ll pretend this never happened. We’ll both know you’re an ass wipe, but it can be our little secret.”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“Because your daddy is some bigwig and you think he’ll save your wimpy butt?” She asked the question in a falsely sweet voice before returning to her normal one. “Give me a break.”

The fidgeting stopped as a suspicious calm washed over Rod. “Everyone around here will know all about you soon enough.”

“You’re playing an awful grown-up game. You sure you have the big boy panties to do it?”

“I have all the information I need.”

He had passed from annoying to unbearable. She knew it would only get worse unless she ended it. “And just what do you plan to do with whatever it is you think you have, Rod?”

“You’ll see.”

“You sound like you’re five.”

“You’re winning now because the judge likes sex, that’s not a secret, but that’s all about to change.”

Ben’s sexual appetite was part of the courthouse gossip? Yeah, he was going to love knowing that.

“Just wait.” Rod ruined a perfect turn and dramatic exit by shifting and running smack into Scott. Rod fumbled, trying to say something. Finally he gave up and stormed down the hall.

“Problem?” Scott asked as he watched Rod flee.

“Other than the fact Rod’s an ass?”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Scott slipped inside the room and glanced behind him at the closed door to the judge’s private chambers.

“So, it’s not just me?”

“Nah. Rod dislikes anyone he sees as a threat.”

“That’s a charming personality trait.” Callie didn’t realize how tense she’d become until she saw the bent pen in her hands. She eased up on her grip to keep from breaking it in half and getting blue ink all over the place. “What about you? You don’t seem to have the ‘me, me, me’ complex like some of the other judges’ clerks.”

With his hands balanced on the back of the chair across from her, Scott leaned down. “I don’t come from the same entitled background as Rod.”

“You’re not a millionaire rich kid who got into law school on Daddy’s name?”

“Hardly. More like a kid of divorce who had to work his way through college and take tens of thousands of dollars in loans and aid to get there.” Scott’s mouth twisted as he spoke.

Callie couldn’t blame him for being bitter. It was hard to work around a bunch of entitled people and not get a bit testy. “Parts of that story sound familiar.”

The sharp look on Scott’s face softened. “Look, I heard what Rod said to you—”

She waved him off. Certainly didn’t need some twenty-something trying to soothe her. “It’s okay.”

“I just want you to know that most of us think it’s pretty cool.”

Her back went rigid without receiving any message from her brain. Just pure instinct. “What is?”

“You with Judge Walker. Most of us are happy that he’s found someone else after…” Scott shrugged. “Well, you know.”

She didn’t have a freaking clue. “You lost me, Scott.”

“Judge Walker’s been hung up on Judge Blanton for so long that we all started to wonder if he’d ever date again.”

Callie felt a small tug of doubt over Ben’s story. “How long?”

“Some people think their relationship started when he first took the bench and was hearing divorce cases. Judge Blanton was his mentor. A lot of long nights and meals together and then they were dating. Apparently it was a big shock when Judge Blanton picked someone else.”

Callie knew she should stop the gossip, but her nosiness took over. For some reason, no one seemed to know that Ben and Emma grew up together less than two hours outside D.C. That missing piece struck Callie as odd, especially since everyone seemed so invested in spewing romantic nonsense about Ben.

“Other people think it happened after Judge Walker had to be moved out of the divorce rotation,” Rod said. “But I guess the timing doesn’t really matter so much as how it all played out.”

Had to be moved?
She decided to check on that later. “I’m not sure any of your information is correct.”

“Of course it is.” Scott’s face went blank. “Wait, you don’t know.”

“About?”

“Judge Blanton’s engagement. She and Judge Walker started fooling around and the fiancé walked. That’s why the judges are both still single. We kept waiting for them to go public with their relationship, but now…” Scott opened his mouth a few times before spitting the words out. “You’re in the picture.”

He framed it nicer than that piece of crud Rod, but Scott’s version ended up at the same conclusion—she spent a lot of horizontal time with Ben. “So, you think it’s my turn to step in and sleep with the judge.”

Scott waved his hands. “Wait. I didn’t mean—”

“That’s not what’s happening here.” Okay, it was
exactly
what was happening, but the scenario got all screwed up in the telling. Made her look easy and opportunistic. When it came to her relationship with Ben, she’d admit to one of those. She wasn’t there as some rebound for Ben. Hell, he wasn’t even rebounding.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” Scott said.

“You didn’t.” Confused the hell out of her, but that was about it.

“Please don’t tell Judge Walker that I’m the one who told you.”

Oh, she intended to discuss this with Ben. Absolutely. He deserved to know the misunderstanding swirling around about him. Maybe he could explain why everyone wanted to give him a big high five for nailing the office staff while she got tagged with the whore label. The double standard ticked her off.

Yeah, they’d talk about it, but she’d keep the kid’s name out of it. “It’s okay. Really.”

“Right.” Scott nodded but still looked uncomfortable. “Have you seen Judge Blanton?”

“She’s being interviewed by the administrative judge about the complaint filed against her.” Callie knew that was the only reason Mark would accept for not being plastered to Emma’s side.

“I’ll leave you alone then.” Scott got up. “And ignore whatever Rod says.”

She planned to do the exact opposite. A kid with that much anger was just asking to be investigated.

Callie enjoyed her ten seconds of privacy. She wanted more, but the office atmosphere seemed to be sending restless waves her way.

“You’re popular today.” Elaine, Ben’s true assistant, stuck her head in the door. Fifty, smart, capable, and a hard worker.

Callie understood why Ben depended on the other woman so much. Elaine answered phones and kept the true crazies away from Ben. Lawyers and case parties yelled at her all day long on the phone, and Elaine stayed calm. She also had the unenviable job of handling the tons of paperwork that shuffled through the office every hour.

And Elaine managed to listen to Rod without punching him. Callie thought that was pretty damn impressive.

“Apparently Rod thinks I’m a slut,” Callie said, expecting a shocked reaction. She got a knowing nod instead.

“Yeah, I could hear him. I just hope the judge didn’t.”

Callie kind of hoped he did. Someone needed to tear Rod apart, and Mark would be pissed off if she tried. There’s nothing covert about stuffing a snotty law clerk’s head in a toilet. “For reasons I can’t understand, Ben actually likes Rod.”

Elaine smiled. “If you say so.”

“Since you probably didn’t come in here to talk about a bunch of twenty-something boys, what can I help you with?”

Elaine’s smile vanished as fast as it came. “This is for you.”

Callie eyed the plain envelope in the older woman’s hand. Other than her name scrawled across the front, it was blank. “Thanks.”

Then the silence stretched. Callie sat there staring. Elaine stood staring back.

Callie finally blinked. “So, if there’s nothing else—”

“One of my jobs here is to open the mail.” Elaine pursed her lips together. “All of it.”

“Uh, okay.”

“Unless it says ‘private’ on it, it’s my responsibility.”

Callie knew Elaine was trying to tell her something. Not sure what, but something. “Is this another threat?”

“Not exactly.”

Callie dragged her finger along the jagged edge where Elaine had ripped the envelope open.

She barely got the papers out of the package when she saw the subject line.

Busted
. “I can explain.”

Elaine’s mood didn’t change. “You don’t have to. I can read. It’s obvious you’re investigating the judge.”

Callie felt a splash of guilt for her snooping. She had justified her covert actions saying it was all part of the job. Deep down she knew that was total bullshit. Ben intrigued her. They were sleeping together, for God’s sake. That had to give her some rights. And, yes, she experienced a kick of something everytime she saw him. She didn’t like feeling vulnerable and unsure about where she stood in her life. She liked it even less that she wanted to hold some sort of position with him. In his life.