Leave Me Breathless (4 page)

“I’m betting she’ll be tempted,” Callie said, making sure Ben could hear her on the other side of the room.

Emma smiled. “I promise Ben will be alive when you come back.”

Callie didn’t doubt that. It was the leaving them alone part that had her back teeth snapping together.

As soon as the door closed behind Mark, Ben tried to concentrate on the blank piece of paper in front of him. For the first time in forty-eight hours he could move around his chambers without tripping over Callie. He didn’t have to worry about her snide comments or her tendency to put her feet up on his desk.

The moment of quiet should have felt great, but nothing fit together right. He had wanted her to side with him about the note. When she put the job in front of him, his stomach burned. He knew his anger didn’t make any sense. She didn’t owe him anything. Still, he had counted on her loyalty, and when she failed to give it the need to lash out at her flashed through his mind.

But now he had a different female problem on his hands. One a bit more refined but equally formidable. “What?” he asked Emma.

“They’re trying to help, you know.”

He could feel his friend’s gaze boring into his forehead. After a silent minute of her staring and him ignoring, he looked up. “The situation is suffocating.”

“You’d do the same thing for Mark if the roles were reversed.”

The calm comment tamped down the fire racing through Ben. He threw down his pen and leaned back in his chair. “If you’re going to be logical, it’s going to be hard for me to be an irrational ass.”

Emma finally got up and walked over. With her hip resting on the corner of the desk and her hands planted on her lap, she gazed down at him with the wise-beyond-her-years look she had perfected in the tenth grade. “You sure your problem is really with the note?”

“Meaning?”

“We’ve known each other forever, Ben. I can see it. The way you grumble. The short temper. The longer than usual hours in the office.”

“You do think I’m being an ass.”

Emma smiled. “I think you’re attracted to her.”

“Who?” Oh, he knew, but stalling for time seemed like the best plan of action at the moment.

“Don’t play dumb. I’m talking about the bodyguard you stare at every second you think she’s not looking.”

Hell, a guy couldn’t even plan a move without having an audience.
“Exaggerating a bit, aren’t you?”

“Not by much.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve read this all wrong. Callie is a menace. She swears like a drunken defendant and insists she runs the place. She’s been here for two days and the entire office is upside down. I haven’t had a second alone except to take a piss—” He held up his hand. “Sorry.”

“I’ve heard worse.”

“Probably from me.”

“And others, but none of that changes the facts. She pushes you.”

“Exactly.” He snapped his fingers. “That’s what I’m saying.”

“And you like it. You like her, even though you’re too thick to admit it.” Emma played with a pen on the edge of his desk. “Callie is different from your usual dates. She gets you riled, challenges you.”

“You somehow get attraction from that? I get frustration, anger. The desire to fire her ass.”

“You love the hunt. That’s always been a huge turn-on for you, which is why you seem so uninterested in the women in your life lately.”

Where had that come from?
“Jesus, you make me sound like a predator.”

“More like a single guy who thinks he needs one type of woman but really wants another.” Emma continued to spin the pen. “You get bombarded with offers from women who are more interested in your position than about who you are. You go out and get bored and move on.”

“You’ve clearly spent some time thinking about this subject.”

“I’ve watched this dance for years. The more they fight it, the more effort you put in. It’s part of why you hate the whole playboy talk. It suggests you’ll drag anyone home. You and I both know you’re more discriminating than that.” She lined the pens back up in straight lines again. “I know the man behind the superstar judge persona.”

He pounded his fist against his chest in false bravado. “There’s just more superstar underneath.”

She reached over and took his hand. “No, there’s a sensitive guy who long ago lost the desire to chase an easy score.”

“Emma—”

“When people said things about us, you didn’t lose your temper or rush to deny. You kept your control and ignored the lies.”

“That’s different.”

Emma squeezed his hand. “Of course it is. Because there’s nothing between us.” She pressed even tighter when he tried to talk. “But there
is
something between you and Callie. She digs and you take the bait. It’s interesting to watch, actually.”

Ben folded his free hand over their joined ones. “Happy I could entertain you.”

After a barely audible knock, the door to his office flew open. Callie stepped in, ready to say something he was sure would annoy him. But her mouth froze in the open position. She stared at their hands on the desk before looking up at him again with red-stained cheeks.

He couldn’t believe she managed to stay quiet for a full ten seconds. “Yes?”

“Sorry. I’ll wait outside.” Callie slammed the door shut again before he could yell at her for interrupting.

“That was interesting.” Emma eased her hand out from under his and stood up. She brushed the wrinkles out of her skirt. Made quite a show of the process, as if she were trying not to look at him. Or laugh.

“You mean the part where Callie is a grown person but for some reason doesn’t know when to knock on a closed door?”

“I was too busy noticing the stunned look on her face.”

He refused to read anything into Callie’s shocked flush. She was rushing around and feeling left out. Nothing else. “She’s probably upset that I had five minutes of freedom.”

Emma cocked her head to the side. “Come on.”

“I’m serious.”

“You know women better than that.”

“She’s not a typical woman.”

“Sure seems like one.”

Subjects like Callie’s looks and exactly how he planned on undressing her once he got her alone were off limits. He shared a lot with Emma but drew the line at locker-room talk. “I admit Callie is attractive in a could-kick-my-ass sort of way.”

Emma laughed. “See, many men would not find that aspect of her too compelling. You do.”

Which only proved men were idiots. “I was kidding.”

“Sure you were.” Emma’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “You still trying to tell me there’s nothing between the two of you?”

Something pulsed there with Callie. It breathed and kicked, begging to get free, and he had no idea what the hell it was. “She’s ticked off.”

“And the funniest part is that you don’t even know why.” Emma winked at him. “But you will, and I can’t wait to be there to see you figure it out.”

S
even hours later, they left the courtroom with Callie convinced the mind-numbing afternoon killed off a few thousand brain cells. She thought about telling Ben that little fact, but he practically ran back to his office, ignoring her every step of the way.

Then he tried to close the office door on her face. Apparently he thought she could watch over him from the crack under the door.

Jackass.

“What’s wrong with you now?” Callie pushed the door open and then banged it shut as hard as she could behind her.

Ben slowly turned around. Something rumbled around inside him and it wasn’t happiness. Tension radiated off him, pulling every part of his body tight. For the first time all afternoon he glanced at her.

An apology for his grumpiness was in order. He should have been embarrassed for flirting with her while his true love Emma sat only an office away. Instead, his brown eyes smoldered with…was that fury?

“Don’t do that again,” he said through a clenched jaw.

“What?” she asked, mystified about the cause of his sour mood.

“Slam my door.” He threw his files against his desk with enough force to send a few flying to the carpet.

She sure as hell hoped he didn’t think it was her job to race around and pick those up. Just to be clear on that point she didn’t move. “But I like the sound.”

“Well, I don’t, and since I run this office I decide what happens here. It’s about time you realized that.”

Looked like they were back to the me-boss-you-stupid-girl routine. “Care to tell me what crawled up your ass?”

“Excuse me?”

“Up. Your. Ass.”

“I’m not in the mood for your attitude or a shadow.”

“You don’t get that choice.”

“Yes, I actually do.”

To be fair, the day had been an absolute pisser. When a threatening note turned out to be the highlight, a shit storm of bad news was inevitable. Mark wanted to beef up security. The courtrooms had to be locked down during business hours. And there was that whole hand-holding thing she witnessed.

But Callie still had a job to do. If that got in the way of his office loving with Emma, then tough shit. “After this morning, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Don’t remind me.” Ben stripped off his robe. The jacket came next, leaving him in a white dress shirt and tie.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

His hands dropped to his sides. “Did it ever dawn on you that I didn’t want to share the note with Mark?”

Callie realized they were talking about two very different things. She worried about Ben’s safety and assumed he was tired of having someone with him at all times. He got stuck on the chain of command. Looked like a case of Ben being knocked flat by his oversized ego.

“Mark is trying to protect you,” she pointed out for what felt like the three hundredth time.

“I don’t need my big brother to rescue me.”

“Is that what this is about? You’re having a crisis of male self-worth? If so, snap the hell out of it.” She grabbed Ben’s arm and forced him to look at her. “For God’s sake, you’re smarter than this.”

“I told you once that I don’t accept a belligerent tone from employees.”

“And I ignored you.”

“I’ve earned the right to expect more respect than you show me.” His voice stayed sharp, but he didn’t pull away from her touch.

“First, as you pointed out, I don’t work for you.” She eased up on her grip because he didn’t seem to be running away. Well, not physically. Mentally he had left the building. “Second, you have to earn respect, and stomping around and acting stupid is not the way to do that.”

“Did you talk to your supervisors at the FBI like this?”

“No.”

That was the truth. Even though it killed her inside, she had shown deference and played by the rules. She took crap from her boss and refrained from pushing him out a window, because that’s what she had to do to keep the job she worked so hard to get. When all of that reluctant patience backfired, she learned a hard lesson. Now she refused to hide and stay quiet. No longer would she wallow in false obedience. If someone needed to be called a jackass, she would do it.

Which probably explained why she had been unemployed for almost two months before Mark came knocking and offering odd jobs. Then came the Ben gig. Callie said yes but attached some strings. She didn’t have to toe the line or cut through bureaucratic bullshit. She could say what she needed to say as long as Ben stayed safe, and it was up to Ben to figure out how to deal with her truthfulness.

“Why did you get fired?” Ben asked.

He was fishing. If he had the facts he would have chosen his words more carefully. “I didn’t, and my life is not your business.”

“That goes both ways.”

“No. I need you to listen and follow my lead.”

His teeth slammed together hard enough for her to hear the click. “This is my fucking office.”

He delivered his observation in a resounding yell. The grating sound brought Rod running. He knocked once, not waiting for permission to come in before opening the door. “Is everything okay?”

“We’re fine,” she said as she dropped her hand from Ben’s arm.

But not before Rod’s gaze went right there. “Sir?”

Ben shook his head. “You can leave.”

Rod’s face fell at his boss’s abrupt tone. Callie almost felt bad for the poor little sycophant.

“I’m just outside if you need me,” Rod said.

Callie waited until the clerk left again to say anything. “You didn’t have to scare the hell out of the poor kid.”

“Since when do you care about Rod?”

The man made a good point, but the nastiness was way out of proportion for the situation. Callie knew she should drop it and let Ben fester in his male stupidity, but a voice inside her head told her to keep digging.

“What’s really going on here?” she asked, fully expecting another screaming match.

“I just told you.”

They stood a few feet apart. If she reached out she could touch him again, which was exactly why she kept her arms strapped to her sides with invisible tape. “You had to know what would happen with the note.”

“Excuse me if I’m ticked off that my work life has turned into this load of crap.”

She guessed she was the “crap” in that description. The guy could be a little more appreciative that her sole purpose in life at the moment was to keep him alive. Some hours, like now when he spent most of the time snapping at her, she debated taking him out herself.

But she did understand the panic that rolled over you when you lost control of everything around you. She spent her entire life chasing the dream of joining the FBI. She read books, worked on her shooting, and built her endurance. With the tests and training behind her, she hit the streets. She never imagined the most dangerous part of the work would come in the office, at her desk and at the hands of a supervisor with a God complex.

“Is this about Emma?” Callie forced the other woman’s name out over a lump of envy.

“No.”

Ah, hell
. Even though her mind played an endless loop of getting Ben naked while she crawled all over him, Callie knew she didn’t actually have any rights to the man. Her debilitating case of lust didn’t have anything to do with his very real relationship with Emma. Time to step back and be professional.

“Look, I’m sorry I came in during your…well, your thing.” She didn’t know what to call that spectacle, so she didn’t try to define it. Talking about it would only put the image of Emma and Ben together back in her head, and Callie had spent all day trying to stamp it out.

“Thing?”

Callie heard a tinge of amusement in his voice. “I don’t know what the correct name is.”

His shook his head. “I said no. That’s not it.”

“I can talk to Emma if that will help.” Callie had no idea how to start that conversation or what to say, but she made the offer anyway. This being the bigger person stuff just sucked.

“I got it, but not necessary.”

He liked using that phrase even when it didn’t make any sense or have an understandable context. “Got what?” she asked.

Ben exhaled as the rigid anger left his body. “Stop talking about Emma.”

Seemed Ben turned a bit touchy when the topic of his girlfriend popped up. Probably a guilt thing. That’s what happened when a guy tried to dip his pen in too many wells.

“I’m trying to ignore your jackassery here and apologize.”

Instead of revving up again, Ben smiled. “My what?”

“I was going to call you a douche and the bag it came in, but I thought you’d have me arrested.”

“And here I thought you didn’t know where to draw the line.” He leaned back against his desk with his feet out in front of him at an angle. The move put his thigh right next to hers. “So tell me why you keep apologizing about Emma.”

Callie only remembered one time, but arguing about that struck her as lame. Now that Ben’s temper had returned to human levels, she didn’t want to send him racing back to crazy town again. “You two were in a clinch when I came in.”

“You call that a clinch?”

Whatever it was it made Callie’s head explode. “Sure.”

“Tell me something.”

No way was she agreeing to that without more information. Hand this man an opening and he’d steer a submarine through it.

He kept talking anyway. Looked pretty relaxed in his slouch as his smile inched up on his lips. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

If he wanted to shock her…well, he did. “How is that relevant?”

“Call me curious.”

“Are you allowed to ask me about that?”

“You think there’s a law against it?”

“There should be.”

“So, you’re not going to answer?”

Not until she knew where this was going. “What does the state of my love life have to do with anything?”

“You know all about me. Only seems fair I get some background on you.”

“I need to know about your life in order to do my job.” At least that was the excuse she used when she ventured outside the file Mark gave her. She’d lost her clearance when she walked away from her job at the FBI, but she still had friends of the computer-hacker variety. In just a few hours she had all the paperwork that existed on Ben.

She had to admit her little search mission turned out to be a huge disappointment. His background was so clean it squeaked. If he hadn’t passed through screening committees and all sorts of interviews to get his current judicial position she would have thought someone manufactured his past. No arrests. No trouble. Great grades. Always within the law. For some reason she expected to find a smart guy with a bad-boy past. That sounded good in the fantasy she created in her head but looked as if it wasn’t true.

“So, you’re not poking around in my life just because you’re nosy?” he asked.

No way could he know about her travels through his personal history. She’d been careful and cleaned up behind her. “I don’t poke.”

“Tell me what you want to know.”

She smelled a con. “Anything?”

“You get one question.”

She thought about his decision to leave the military and about the scarce information on his parents. She skipped all that and went with the issue at the front of her mind. “What’s going on between you and Emma?”

“I’ve already answered that. We’re friends.”

Callie snorted just to let him know what she thought of his fake deals. “I don’t climb all over my friends when the door shuts.”

“Really? When do you climb on them then?”

“Huh?”

He closed in. One minute he shot her a lazy smile. The next he stood up straight and hovered over her with his cheek right next to hers. “What do you do with your friends?”

Heat thrummed off him, surrounding her and filling her with a tingly sensation from shoulders to toes. “I don’t—”

“Do you touch them?” Ben trailed the back of his hand down her cheek. Dragged his thumb across her lips.

“I…”

“Smell them?” He leaned down and nuzzled her ear. “Do they smell as good as you?”

His mouth traveled down her neck, nipping and kissing. Hot breath tickled her skin as his fingers caressed her waist. The double whammy of touching slammed her breath to a halt in her chest. Her body strained to get closer to him as her palms skimmed up his back.

Holy crap
. “This isn’t a good idea,” she said.

“Probably not, but I’ve been wanting to do it all day.”

“I thought you were mad at me.”

“Be quiet for a second,” he said.

Then his mouth covered hers. His lips pressed deep and strong and his tongue brushed against hers. There was nothing teasing about this kiss. It shot through her hot and wet, electrifying every cell inside her. She fell into the sensation of being overpowered and claimed. Her stomach tumbled and her knees dipped. Muscles relaxed as her brain shifted into neutral.

“God, yes,” he mumbled when their mouths lifted on gasps of harsh breaths.

He dove back in. His lips met hers over and over again in a kiss that had her winding her arms around his neck and pulling him close.

Him. Her. Touching. Nothing else mattered. Pleasure crashed over her, drowning out everything around them. Fingers searched and sculpted. Her hands swept into his hair while his pushed against her lower back, easing her closer to the juncture between his thighs. She heard the grumbling moan in his chest and the deep breaths from her own.

She lifted her head in an attempt to get some air. “Ben…that…”

“You taste so good.”

His mouth found that sensitive spot right at the slope of her chin. Her kryptonite. A few nibbling kisses and she wanted to strip that conservative shirt and tie right off him.

She dropped her head back to give him greater access. “Right there.”

When his mouth found hers again, lights exploded in her brain. He kissed like he worked, with an intensity that sent her common sense screaming in wild defeat. The touch of his lips was all she dreamed about and everything she feared.

But her mind shouted out a red-light warning through the sensual haze. She had a job and he had a girlfriend.

Callie pulled her mouth away, letting her forehead rest against his cheek as she struggled to breathe without wheezing. “We have to stop.”