Learning to Love Again (3 page)

“I’m sorry, Nicole.  Really, I am,” Jack leaned forward and took her hand in his.  “Mitch and Carly and I were just trying to help, honey.  You can’t live here right now, not by yourself.  It just made sense to us to bring you back to Waketon, where we could all help you.”  He squeezed her hand until she looked over at him.  “Just please remember, out of everyone in this patchwork family of ours, I’m pretty much the only one who is going to know how you feel right now about every-single-thing you are going through.  I’m an outsider in this family, too; I had to come back to Waketon before I wanted to, lucky to be alive.  I had to swallow my pride and accept help from everyone else.  And I’ve had to face my ghosts from the past.  Just like you’re going to have to do when you go back.”

“I know,” she whispered, her fingers tightening on his.  “I know you guys were…
are
just trying to help me.  But my situation is a little different than yours…I’m not a soldier returning from war and being medically discharged, with nowhere else to turn.”  She pointed out.  “And you weren’t opposed to returning to Waketon.  You don’t have the reasons I do to stay away.”  Letting go of his hand, she brought her hand up to her face, rubbed at her temples.  “Sometimes I think it would have been better if my mother would just have sucked it up and not tried to leave.  Maybe then dad would at least still be alive.”

“No, you’d just have other issues,” Jack commented. “Look, your doctors told us there is no way you would be able to drive a car for at least two-to-three months, let alone sit at a desk and work, or stand in court all day.  We just thought that we would take some of the stress away, so you could concentrate on healing and recovering.  This way, you don’t have to worry about covering expenses.  All of your short-term disability and insurance money will go to your medical bills—if there are any—and to your savings.  We aren’t trying to take away your independence.”

“What if nothing has changed in Waketon and I can’t stay there?”

“It's been over fifteen years, Nicole.  But yes, once you are cleared to drive and live on your own by your doctors, I’ll help you move back up here myself.”  Jack promised her.

“Even if Mitch and Carly don’t agree?”

“Even if the rest of the family is against it.  But, Nicole, you need to give yourself time to heal and I don’t just mean your body.  I mean all of you.  You’ve never dealt with all of the issues from your past.  Coming back to Waketon now would give you the time to deal with some of those old ghosts and lay them to rest,” Jack told her as he stood up.  “Look, I can tell by your eyes that you need your next dose of pain meds and some sleep, so I am going to head back to the hotel, for real this time.  Are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”  She managed to give him a smile as he leaned down to give her a soft kiss on the forehead.  She adjusted the head of the bed and hit the buttons on the side rail to dim the lights, just now realizing how exhausted the last few hours had made her. Maybe Jack was right; maybe going back to Waketon would allow her to lay all of her old ghosts to rest and get over some of those issues that had plagued her since childhood.  And she needed to rest so she could deal with those issues and her family that was determined to help her.  She hit the button to ask the nurse for her dose of pain medication and said a silent prayer that somehow things would work out.

Jack left the hospital and sat in his silent pickup truck, watching the traffic as it sped by.  There was a reason he’d elected not to practice law in a big city and traffic had been at the top of the list.  The constant backstabbing he’d seen as everyone tried to get ahead in the private practices hadn’t made him a fan of working in the city, either.  There was also the added benefit of being his own boss and getting to pick and choose his clients.  Small town law was where he belonged.

He hit the button on his phone, allowing it to dial the number he’d pulled up.

“Did you talk to her?”  Jason’s voice demanded to know as soon as he answered.

“And hello to you, too.”  Jack spat out a wry rebuttal.

“Sorry.  Hello.  How’s life?  Mine sucks.  Now, did you talk to Nicole?”  Jason repeated.

“God, Jason, are we still in junior high?  Should I try and pass her a note between classes next?”  Jack was kind of enjoying torturing his friend.  He’d never seen him this uptight about a woman before.  The fact that it was Nicole, well, he wasn’t sure how he felt about
that
quite yet.  After all, they had been raised as close as any other siblings, and they knew more secrets about each other than most best friends.

“Jack!  Are you listening?”  His friend’s impatient voice yelled in his ear.

“Yeah, sorry…zoned out for a minute.”  Jack smothered a yawn.  “Yes, Jason, I talked to Nicole.  She’s upset that decisions are being made about her life without any input from her, but for now she’s agreed to come back to Waketon.”  He heard a rush of breath that was released and almost chuckled.  “You need to start setting up the rehab for her and whatever else she’ll need.  I plan to stick around here for another day-or-so, and then I’ll head home.  That way I can get the ranch ready for her, have Maria set things up there.”

“And then maybe I can figure out what the hell happened ten years ago and why she kicked me to the curb.”  There was a resigned sigh over the line.  “Dude, I start call tomorrow, so if anything comes up, text me.  The way my luck has been running, every orthopedic emergency in ninety-seven counties will happen in the next seventy-two hours.

Jack chuckled and hung up the phone, shaking his head over the knots Nicole still had that poor guy in.

“SO, TODAY’S THE DAY.  ARE YOU READY?”  DOCTOR Fredricks asked Nicole as he stepped into her room.

“God, yes!” Nicole was sitting on the edge of her bed, waiting for her family to get there.  It had been a little over a month since her accident, and the eagerness to be free of that room had her coiled like a spring.

“With an attitude like that, you’re going to make me think you haven’t liked your stay here,” he told her with a grin.

“I just don’t want to overstay my welcome,” she returned, as he moved over beside her.  He did his last examination and then stepped away from her.  “So, do you feel ready?  Being in charge of your own rehab is going to be a lot different than having us being right here to make sure you’re doing it.  And there’s a fine line between pushing yourself and going too far,” he warned her.

“I know.  I’m ready.”  She nodded.  “I remember when Jack was in rehab…I’ll be careful.”

“I gave the nurses orders to give you a dose of your pain killer right before you leave.  That should allow you to sleep through most of your drive.  You said it was about two hours, right?”

“Yes.  Mitch wanted to fly, but with the way my luck has been running, I was afraid we’d wind up with a delayed flight or stuck on a runway or something.  I figured two hours, give-or-take, in a car, was better than the unknown delays that can happen with flying.”

“Makes sense.  I was supposed to fly from here to Omaha once for a conference.  My connection was in Houston, but there were a bunch of summer storms, so I got redirected to Denver and got stuck there for close to six hours.  I think I missed the first half of my conference, too.”  He made a few notations on her clipboard and then set it down on the bedside table.  “So, your cousin and friend, Jack, have been pretty scarce the last couple of weeks.  Is everything okay?”

“Yes.”  She looked up at her doctor, confused by the question.  “Why do you ask?”

“I just want to make sure you still have the support you need, both physically and emotionally,” he explained.

She nodded, pausing before answering.  “We’re family, we’re going to have fights and not speak to each other at times.  But Jack, Mitch, and I—and Carly for that matter—would fight the fires of hell for each other.  Jack and I have been best friends since my aunt and uncle took him in and became his guardians, back when we were all still toddlers.  I’m closer to him than to anyone, even Carly.”  She shrugged her shoulders, “They’ll be there for me.”

“Good.  Because you’re going to need the support.  Lean on them,” he advised, offering her his hand.  “Come back and see me sometime.  I like to see my success stories,” he told her with a grin.

“I’ll make sure I do that.”  Nicole smiled back as Carly and Mitch entered the room.  The nurses all came in to tell her good bye and wish her luck while Mitch made a quick trip down to the car with all of her stuff.  Carly had packed up most of it and taken it back to the ranch earlier in the week so Nicole would have as much room as she’d need to stretch out in the back of the SUV.

Her nurse came in with the promised dose of narcotics and the discharge paperwork before they headed outside.  Mitch had dropped one of the seats down so that Nicole could also recline, and they padded the seat with as many pillows as they could and still get a seat belt around her.

“I feel like the Michelin man,” she commented as they got the seat belt buckled and Mitch was satisfied that it would be safe for the drive home.

“You’re the one who wouldn’t fly.” he reminded her.

“You’re the one who packed up my apartment,” she shot back.

“Don’t start.”  Carly rolled her eyes and climbed into the front passenger seat.  Nicole stuck her tongue out at her cousin and Mitch grinned at her, closing the rear door before sliding behind the wheel of the SUV and starting the engine.  Within minutes, the narcotics they’d given her had kicked in and she was sound asleep.  She didn’t wake up until Mitch slowed the car to make the turn onto the mile-long driveway up to the main house.

“How are you feeling?” he asked when he glanced in the rear-view mirror and noticed her eyes were open.

“Groggy,” she pushed her hair out of her eyes and looked around; she started to shift to a more comfortable position but felt her muscles stiffen.  “So, what’s the plan for my recovery?  The doctors in Austin said you had everything set up for me.”

“The physical therapist is going to meet us at the ranch today to do an assessment and see how you’re doing.  She’ll make sure the walker and the crutches are adjusted for you like they’re supposed to be.  And the orthopedic surgeon at the hospital here in Waketon is going to oversee everything, so you won’t have to make any trips to Austin anytime soon,” he pulled up in front of the house. “Welcome home, kiddo.”

“You okay?” Carly asked her, looking over her shoulder at her as she started to get out of the car, noticing the pained look on her friend’s face.

“I’m stiff,” she answered, groaning as her muscles protested against her movements as she tried to push herself up.  “I’m not sure I can move.”

“That’s what I’m here for.  Carly, please go and open the door for us.”  Mitch stepped over to the car and gently eased her into his arms.  “Relax, easy does it,” he murmured when her breath hissed out between her clenched teeth.  “We had Maria get the downstairs guest room ready for you, so just hang on.  We’ll have you inside in no time.”  Moving up the steps to the front porch as slowly as possible to avoid jostling her too much, Mitch made his way into the house.  Carly had gone ahead and turned down the bed and had positioned the pillows so Nicole could sit up.

“Here are some more pain killers, and your muscle relaxer,” Carly handed the pills and a glass of water to Nicole as soon as she was settled.  “Maria is making you some soup.”

“No more pain killers.  They make me too groggy.  If the physical therapist is coming, I want to be able to do the exercises,” Nicole pushed the pills away.  “I’ll just take the muscle relaxers for now.

Carly stepped back away from the bed as Maria brought a lunch tray in with a bowl of soup.  “Are you sure?  Doctor Fredricks said you needed to stay on top of the pain.”

“I’m sure.  I’ll take them later.”  Nicole promised.

“You going to be okay here?  I need to go check in with the boys,” Mitch looked between his wife and cousin.  Nicole nodded and Carly walked out of the room with him, telling Nicole she’d be right back.

“Is everything ok?”  Nicole asked when Carly stepped back into the room.

“Yes.  There was a small thunderstorm the other night and the wind took down a few trees and a section of the fence.  You know how it is, Steve’s away, we’ve been away, so now he feels like he has to go back and second-guess all the decisions that were made,” Carly shrugged.

“So who’s my physical therapist?” Nicole asked as she forced herself to eat a few spoonfuls of the soup.  She’d found out the hard way in the hospital that taking the muscle relaxers on an empty stomach was not a good idea, but she didn’t have much of an appetite since the accident.

“Amy Reece.  Remember her?  She was a year or so ahead of us in school.  We have her on retainer for the hands if they get hurt, so she was willing to work you in today.  She should be here soon.” Carly said as she looked over at the clock.  “I’m going to let you finish your lunch in peace.  I’ll bring Amy back when she gets here.”

Nicole moved the tray away, being careful not to tip the remainder of the soup.  With guarded movements, she positioned herself so she was sitting on the edge of the bed.  She pushed herself to her feet, keeping a hand on the mattress for balance.  Hobbling to the bathroom was a slow and painful process.  It wasn’t that far, but the muscle relaxers hadn’t kicked in and she was still stiff.  But some things just couldn’t wait.

She took a few minutes in the bathroom to wash her face and combed her hair.  She grimaced at the fading bruises that still covered her forehead and cheek where she’d hit the window when her car had rolled.  Vanity forced her to try to comb her short bangs over the bruises on her forehead.  At least she’d only suffered bruising to her face.  She had one laceration on her leg and one on her stomach that had required stitches, and a few other cuts that she thought would leave some scars.  But those could be hidden from view with the right clothes.

Feeling more normal than she had in over a month, she left the bathroom and started to make her way back to the bed.  She’d made it back to the foot of the bed before her legs started to give out.  She was able to grab onto the edge of the mattress and catch herself before she fell to the floor, and managed to sink onto the edge of the bed instead, breathing hard from the exertion of walking a few feet, cursing her own weakness.  She waited a few minutes and then pushed herself into a more comfortable position trying to relax and regroup, waiting for Amy to arrive.

Amy did a brief session with her, more to analyze her strength and see where she was at physically, and promised to return in two days to start their sessions.  She told Amy about the near miss while she was there, expressing her frustrations at her limitations, and Amy assured her that the weakness was normal, given her injuries.

“You have to remember, Nicole, you’ve pretty much been stuck in a bed for…what, almost a month?  I bet they let you out of that hospital bed once, maybe twice a day, and only let you walk far enough to get to the bathroom and back to bed, maybe a lap around the hallway if you were lucky.  That’s not enough to regain any strength.  Their goal there was to get you ready to start your therapy with me; they didn’t want you to lose any more strength.  That’s why I’m here,” Amy pointed out as she fitted a pair of crutches under Nicole’s arms and showed her how to use them.  “Now, these are just for use here in the bedroom for now.  You need to use the walker 99-percent of the time.  Your ribs aren’t going to be up to the strain of using the crutches.”  She pulled it over in front of Nicole and helped her stand up so that she could adjust it and helped her get used to it.  She offered to get her a wheelchair, too, if she wanted one, but Nicole refused.  Amy made sure she didn’t have any questions about the exercises they’d gone over and then gave Nicole her cell number to have on hand, in case anything came up between sessions.  With a wave of her hand, Amy headed out the door, and Nicole released a ragged sigh.

Nicole rested for a while after Amy left, the trip to the ranch and the mini-work out having taken their toll.  Unable to stand the pain any longer, she took a dose of the pain medication and woke up a few hours later, feeling a little more refreshed.  She glanced at the crutches, but knew her ribs wouldn’t be able to handle that kind of pressure.  Grudgingly, she pulled the walker over to the bedside and pulled herself upright.  She made her way out of her bedroom and down the hall, finding Mitch in his study, alone.

“You’re looking a little better than the last time I saw you,” Mitch said when he looked up and saw her standing in his doorway.  “Come in before you fall in.”  He stood up and walked around his desk to help her to one of the leather arm chairs.  “Did Amy say you could be up like this?”

“She didn’t say I
couldn’t
.  She just said to rest as much as I can.  I am not staying in bed all the time,” she returned.  “I’d like to see you bedridden for a month,” she muttered, lowering herself into the chair.

“Now now, be nice to your favorite cousin.  I just don’t want you to overdo it.  Jack told me how bad it was even if you won’t admit it.  They couldn’t tell if there was any nerve damage to your spine until the swelling went down.  They kept you in a drug induced coma for four days just to keep you from moving and aggravating that spinal injury.  You’re lucky to be alive.”  Mitch sat down beside her, his arm around her shoulders.