Learning to Heal (30 page)

People might think I’m cray cray for putting Mason as the father on the birth certificate, but I don’t care. We are officially together and officially a happy family. “Isn’t that right, Princess? Mommy and Daddy love you so much.” My heart melts and skips a few beats looking at Finlee in my arms while she’s wrapped in a soft pink and white blanket. Even though she’s gained half a pound in one week, she’s still tiny. Her small, pink hat encases her head full of brown hair and the mittens Jax bought her cover her ten fingers. They’re pink with the words “Future Knockout” embroidered in white on the tops. I could stare at her all day.

“You ready?” Mason comes in from loading all the flowers and balloons into his truck. He assures me we’ll all fit even though I still have my doubts. Trudy and Jax already took one load and headed to my apartment to get everything in order for our arrival. Mom and Dad left yesterday because life called, but I plan on going to see them in a few weeks. McKenzie is dying to get her hands on her niece and loves the fact she’s ten and an aunt. Cohen was disappointed I didn’t have a boy for him to play with and told me to have one next time. I just shook my head and laughed.

“So ready. You have no idea.”

He sits the car seat down and takes Finlee from my arms. “Hey, sweet pea.” Watching him kiss her head and gently put her in her seat, I fall in love with him all over again. This feeling always makes me wonder why I fought it for so long.

“I love you, Mason Alexander Reed. Thank you for loving us.” The need to tell him how much he means to me overwhelms me while happiness encompasses my whole soul. My soul mate. That is what he is. Someone engraved in me so deep that without him I’d be lost and searching.

He glances up from looking at Finlee and gives me a smile. “I love you too, Jasmine Marie Coleman.”

He walks my way and I’m taken back to the first time his confidence surfaced. His stride is so sexy and I can’t wait for the day I can jump him like a chimpanzee and have wild monkey sex. He comes down to my level and looks me in the eye. Since I’m sitting in a wheelchair, he’s on his knees, but I love him this close. He takes my face in one hand and holds me. “You are so beautiful and even more so now. I didn’t think that was possible until after you gave me a beautiful daughter.” When his lips touch mine and rub gently back and forth, warmth spreads from my core to my skin. I know we need to stop before it gets too out of control, but as his tongue mates with mine, stopping is the last thing on my mind. Luckily he has more will power than I do and is able to slow the kiss down. He pulls away and looks down at my feet sitting in the wheelchair foot pedals.

After a minute of calming his breathing, he still remains looking down. “You okay?” I let my fingers slide in his silky hair and love the feel of it running across my open palm.

“Yeah, but I want to ask you a serious question. Okay?” He looks straight into my eyes with nervousness. Nodding my head, I swallow while I wait for his question. Not gonna lie, I’m kind of scared because I can’t deal with another breakup.

“You know I’m not good with talking or putting words together, but I love you and Finlee more than anyone or anything in this world. And I want you to know I’d do anything to protect you both until the day I die. These past few weeks have taught me that I don’t want to be without you for one more day. So I want to ask you...” he takes a deep breath but never breaks eye contact “...if you’d change your name to Jasmine Marie Reed and become my wife.”

My heart speeds up from either nerves or excitement. I’m not really sure. This is a huge ass step in life, but it’s one I want to take. Even though we just officially started dating again, it doesn’t change anything. Our whole relationship has been different and nontraditional, so why not have a nontraditional engagement to boot. Besides, I know that I’ll never love someone like I do him. He’s become my best friend over the last year and we know everything about one another. My answer is easy.

“Yes.”

His eyes widen with surprise. “Yes?”

Now the waterworks start, I’m too elated to give a damn about my freshly applied makeup. “Yes. I’d love to be your wife.” He still looks in shock and hasn’t moved. I don’t even think he’s blinked. “Hello! Aren’t you supposed to kiss me now or something?”

Shaking his head, he smiles and finally blinks his thick black lashes. “Oh yeah!” Wrapping both hands in my hair he places his lips over mine. “I promise I’ll get you the best ring out there.” His whispered words against my lips are nice, but I don’t care about a ring. As long as I have him and Finlee in my life material things aren’t important. Besides, I know his money is tight.

My thoughts vanish as he seals our engagement with a kiss that causes my insides to curl together and ignite with heat.
Dear Lawd sweet baby Jesus!
My man can kiss and make me squirm, especially when his mouth leaves my mouth and travels slowly to my ear. His breathing causes me to cross my legs and wish for privacy and a time machine to get the next four weeks over with. “I love you, future Miss Jasmine Reed.”

Before I can answer and beg him to do something I know I’m not ready for, Finlee’s cries blast out my eardrum. Taking a breath, he stands and looks at me with a wink. “That’s our cue to get the hell home I guess.” I wait for Mason to pull the truck around, but what he drives up isn’t his usual ride. It’s a white Chevy Traverse with all the bells and whistles. Confused, I wait until Finlee and I are buckled in before I ask about it. He tells me it’s a rental and wanted to see if I liked it. It’s fine with just enough space for all of us and then some. It has black leather interior and a third row seat.

“It’s fine. In fact it has me thinking my car isn’t a good idea for a baby. I might actually need something bigger. Something with four doors.”

“Well then we can go together to get two vehicles.” I see his brow furrow in concentration. He’s going so slow I don’t think I’ll ever get home. “You don’t have to drive like my great grandpa, ya know. And are you thinking of getting rid of your truck?” I don’t know if it has enough of a trade in value, but I won’t say that.

“Yeah. There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about but too many people have been around.” He glances in my direction. “It seems my dad had a savings account he put a few hundred dollars in every week for the last twenty years. And in his will he left it all to me.”

Once again I’m rendered speechless. “Holy shit balls!” Well maybe not. I cover my mouth and peek at Finlee in the backseat. Looking at the mirror, her reflection shows her smiling in her sleep. Money seems to make her happy. Or maybe it’s Mommy’s potty mouth. “Wow. I’m so happy for you, Mason.”

“Yeah. I was in shock too and don’t know what to do with all that money. Gigi is coming down to visit and bring the paperwork to get it transferred once you feel okay.”

“Really?”

I’ve been intrigued about his lost family since day one and can’t wait to meet them, even Symone—the redheaded beauty queen. After discussing our soon to be guest, and when to tell everyone about the engagement, we arrive home. Slowly, I make my way up the steps while Mason carries Finlee and her heavy ass car seat. Once inside I just about jump out of my skin when everyone yells “welcome home.” I even see Mom and Dad. Sneaky bastards. Of course the noise causes Finlee to wake up, but it’s okay because everyone wants a chance to hold her. She must be a drama queen like me. My party is not only a welcome home bash, but also a baby shower. It’s full of laughter and gifts. I feel so blessed to have all these wonderful people in my life. Watching Tru hold Finlee and Jax sitting beside her with his arm draped over her shoulders protectively, I melt. They definitely need to give Finlee a cousin, and soon too.

Mason’s mom even loves on Finlee and dotes on her like a true grandmother. I walk over to her and give her a hug. “Thanks for coming. It means so much to me.”

“Oh, honey. Thank you for loving my son and letting us be a part of this child’s life.” She hands Finlee to me and I happily take her. My arms feel better when she’s there. “Thank you for forgiving me for what I did to him. Everyone makes mistakes in life. Some obviously leave larger wounds than others. But you need to figure out a way to heal them so they don’t ruin your entire life. Luckily my son’s forgiveness has helped mine to heal. And your forgiveness of him has helped heal his.” She wipes away a tear. “I pray Mason helps yours to heal as well. Because you need to be whole to care for this precious little girl.”

She walks away but her words stay with me the rest of the day. Without hesitation I can say that my wounds and confidence are healed because of Mason. He is the balm to help me see that I am beautiful on the inside and out no matter my past mistakes. And I like this feeling. A lot.

Mason and I announced our engagement while everyone is at the apartment. And to my surprise everyone is happy, even Jax. Soon after that people start to leave and thank goodness because I can’t wait to get a shower and lie in my own bed, with Mason of course.

Before my parents make their exit, Dad pulls me and Mason to the side. He gives me a hug. “Congrats, baby girl.”

“Thanks, Daddy.” I feel like there’s something else he wants to say so I wait and brace myself.

I don’t have to wait too long. “Well, Jazz, you know how I have a private detective looking into the professor?” I nod my head. “It seems that you were the only one or he’s really been careful. We haven’t found anything on him besides a heated argument with his wife.”

My heart drops. I was really hoping that we could find something to blackmail his ass if he ever made anymore threats. Unfortunately, that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. “So what now?” I feel Mason pull me to his side and kiss my head. Calmness starts to seep in immediately.

Dad takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “Now all we do is wait. I really don’t think he’ll push the issue because he has too much to lose.”

Walking my dad to the door, I fight to conceal my worries, but I can’t shake the bad feeling setting in my gut.

I look over at Jazz as I pull into the car dealership and see her biting her nails. Again. “Stop worrying. Grandma said she’d call if she needed anything.”

Today is really the first time Jazz has been away from Fin since she was born, and it’s showing in her nervous mannerisms. I can imagine how she feels. My first day back to classes was killer. I’d constantly text to see if they were okay. Jazz ended up sending me pictures of the two of them throughout the day and it helped, except for one picture she took while changing. She swears she didn’t mean to take it, but I know her game. She knows I have Barney balls right now. They’re called Barney balls because they have completely passed the point of blue and are now purple. It’s a danger zone for any and every pair of pants I own. Masturbating just isn’t the same. Sleeping with her every night and feeling her ass against me or waking up see her breast pop out to feed Finlee doesn’t help either.

Grandma Ginger has been down for three days and quickly fell in love with my family. Jazz loves her just as much. They both love to shop and plan on a huge Finlee spree before she flies out next week. We took care of the funds that were left to me and now we’re looking for a new ride. My next big purchase is a ring, and Tru is helping me with that. I’ve only asked that it has pink in it.

Placing her hand in her lap, she looks in my direction with a pout. “But what if I didn’t leave enough milk? Or what if she gets scared?”

“Believe me there is plenty of milk in the freezer and Tru even has some in hers. You’ve produced enough to feed her for a full year. And she won’t be scared because she loves Grandma.” I park and get out, taking her hand after she meets me in front, and we start to walk and browse the selection.