Layover (7 page)

“Some big ass nigga gave you his leather coat with some cheap ass cologne on it.”

“That’s my brother’s coat,” I lied.

“Your brother is smaller than me. That coat is for some big ass bear lookin’ nigga!”

“My brother buys his clothes big,” I insisted.

Kenny opened the jacket and pointed to the size tag in the coat.

“This says 2x. Your brother wears a large, if that.”

“I’m sorry you feel the way you do, Kenny, but you are going to have to do better than that if you want to accuse me of something.”

“I was looking for a blanket, but I guess I could use this big ass coat for one.”

I snatched the jacket from him and put it back in the bag. I pulled out the blanket that he supposedly couldn’t find and handed it to him.

“The cheap ass nigga couldn’t even buy a designer coat. Where do you get an earth-friendly, biodegradable leather jacket anyway?”

I realized from Kenny’s comments that he had noticed the logo on the inside of Allen’s jacket. Kenny was a label reader at heart. He only wore designer clothes and he was quick to judge those who didn’t. His mother even confessed to me that when Kenny was a teenager, she would buy his clothes from TJ Max and put them in a Neiman Marcus bag just so he would wear them. I really didn’t know what to do at this point. If he found out that this jacket was Allen’s, he would really think we were hiding something. I would rather him think some other guy gave me the jacket - anyone but Allen!

“That’s the company my brother works for. I don’t see the big deal, Ken.”

“That’s cool. I’m going to find out one way or the other.”

Now things were really getting crazy. If this was a precursor of events to occur, then I wanted to turn around and go back home right now! I wasn’t trying to get caught up, especially down there. If some shit went down, I would have no help on my side. I would be seen as a home wrecker, a Jezebel. I tried to look at things on a positive note. If I could get Allen’s jacket back to him without incident, maybe Kenny will forget all about it. I will just tell him I gave my brother his jacket back - end of story. One thing I did not have to worry about was Kenny asking my brother about the jacket. He’s knows better than to come to my brother with some mess like that. My brother will probably tell him to kiss his ass and leave him out of our business.

The rest of the trip was quiet, at best. We only talked when it was absolutely necessary. I wish I had told Kenny the truth when I got back from Denver. He would have been asking all kinds of questions, but at least I wouldn’t be lying, trying to cover up something. It didn’t really matter, this was a no-win situation. It doesn’t matter what I told him, he would still find something to get mad about. He’s just a jealous and insecure person and I fed his jealously and insecurity by lying to him.

When we pulled up to my mother-in-law’s house, I felt let down when I didn’t see the butterscotch Tahoe in the carport. Allen hadn’t made it yet. I was disappointed but I knew he would be here shortly. We left our bags in the car and went inside. We hugged and kissed everyone who was there, including my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Denise was my sister -in-law and just a few months older than me. She was tall, attractive, and smart but she had priced herself right out of a husband. She refused to cook for a man or even fix him a plate of food. She was forever in school, obtaining degree after degree, and totally emasculating any man who tried to do anything for her. She was always reading a book or watching a movie that perpetuated the flaws and faults of the Black man. She didn’t have a man and she didn’t want anyone else to have one. She was always on my case about the way I cater to Kenny.

“You always cookin’ for that nigga and fixin’ his plate. Let that nigga get his own shit!” She would say. I told her that’s the way I grew up and I do it because I want to and not because I feel obligated. Besides, it’s so much easier to get a man to do what you want him to do when you’re cooking for him and fucking him well. For all the problems Kenny and I have, it was my doing those two things that ultimately made him agree to let me quit my 9 to 5 and start my own business. Still, that’s something she has to learn on her own, the game is to be sold, not told!

“Ma, Nya and I get to sleep in the big room since we got here before Allen and Lisa, right?”

That was like a special treat to get to sleep in “the big room”. It was his mother’s room and it had the king size bed in it. We often fought over who got to sleep in the big room but after Allen and Lisa’s baby was born, they automatically got to sleep there. Now, since the baby is two-years old, the big room is fair game again.

“I guess so, my baby,” she told him.

Kenny and I went back outside and brought our bags back in.

“Damn, how long y’all staying?” Denise asked as she saw all the bags we brought.

“I’m going back home after Thanksgiving, but I’m leaving Nya’s ass here,” Kenny joked.

Everyone laughed and soon it began to feel like the holidays.

 I wanted to ask when were Allen and Lisa getting here, but I didn’t want to be too obvious. I decided to be a little coy.

“I can’t wait to see Andy! I bet he’s gotten so big.”

“Yeh, they sent us some pictures of him, but he won’t be here until tomorrow,” my mother-in-law told me.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow? I can’t wait until tomorrow to see my love! I was going to die if he didn’t come today! Oh, God, please help me, I’m losing it!

“Allen had to work today,” she went on, “that boy is always working. He’s going to mess around and lose his wife if he keeps working all the time. No woman is going to put up with staying at home alone all the time,” His mother insisted.

I do. The only difference is my husband is out on the town, instead of at work.

I decided to go make my rounds around town. Whenever I got to town, I would go visit all the old people and sit with them for a while. I really enjoyed hearing the stories and the wisdom they had to share. Besides, it made them all feel better and everyone thought I was so wonderful for doing it. My first stop was Aunt Minnie. She was few years shy of 100 years old and, as rumor has it, very wealthy. Still, having grown up in poverty, she was very frugal. Even though she was quite old, she was in fair health and could get around very well. She wasn’t lacking in the mental department, either. That’s why it shocked me when I walked in and the first question she asked was, “Where is Allen?”

“They haven’t made it yet,” I told her.

“I mean Kenny. Girl, you know who I mean. I always get you mixed up as Allen’s wife. Tootie is always telling everybody that you are Allen’s wife. That’s right, Allen married that ol’ Black gal.”

Tootie is the name they call my mother-in-law. And Aunt Minnie was right, she did introduce me as Allen’s wife a lot and she was less than apologetic for it. At times, I feel she does it on purpose and she tries to pretend like she’s old and crazy when I call her on it. Only this time it’s not funny or cute. It’s serious now and any mention of Allen makes me really nervous and on edge.

“It’s ok, Aunt Minnie. I know what you mean. Kenny went to The Hill. They are supposed to be killing a hog or something.”

I sat with her for a while and talked. Soon, I knew I had to go see my other old people so I had to find a note to end on.

“Well, Aunt Minnie, I’ve got to go take some fruit salad to Aunt Bee Bee. I’ll probably see you again before we go back to Alabama.”

I gave her a hug and a kiss and then left. I spent the rest of the day visiting and when I got back to the house, everyone was playing cards. They offered me the opportunity to play but I didn’t want to. Everyone there took the game too seriously and didn’t want to partner up with anyone and have them get mad at me if we lost. That’s why I liked playing with Allen. He realized that it was just a game and kept everything in perspective. I graciously declined the offer and went into my room to unpack. I was still thinking about that whole jacket thing. I hated lying to my husband. I hated lying period! As much of a jerk as Kenny could be at times, he didn’t deserve that. I wanted to tell him that I saw Allen in Denver, but I just couldn’t. I promised Allen that I wouldn’t and I had to keep my word. Maybe after I talked to Allen, we could come up with a solution. I didn’t like the deception between us. I mean, if I was going to be with Allen, I wanted it to be the right way - Full disclosure up front. Still, I don’t think anyone was ready for that kind of honesty and the best thing we could do is keep our feelings to ourselves until such time as deemed appropriate.

I started thinking about how much I used to love Kenny and what happened between us that caused those feelings to fade. I remember the first time I ever saw him, I told myself he was the man I was going to marry. The first time I spoke to him, I told
him
I was going to marry him. He said he wasn’t going to marry anybody. He was a free spirit and was not fit to be tied down. He wasn’t what you might consider a player, he just didn’t do well with obligations. In fact, when I met him, he wasn’t seeing anyone at all. When we were dating, his cell phone never rang and when I would go to his apartment, the phone never rang there either. He didn’t spread himself thin at all. We were both swept away in a fantasy and three months after we met, we were married. Everyone was in shock, my family and his family. My friends and his friends were blown away. I just felt he was the one for me. I still tease him about saying that he was not going to get married and then doing it three months later. I think he felt secure then, when we were both climbing the corporate ladder. But, after I decided to give it a go in the real estate business, I think he felt exposed. As long as we were both pulling down regular income, he appeared to other people as someone who was taking care of his wife. Then, when we got down to one income, it was apparent that he wasn’t banking like he tried to pretend. He didn’t want everyone to know how little he was actually making. It was never apparent before we got married because he was splitting rent with his cousin in an apartment. But now that he had a mortgage, his party money was short. And, with only his steady income, he couldn’t flex like he did before. That’s where our problems started. He felt that I was the person who exposed him. He became angry at me for not helping him keep up the appearance of having a lot. However, I still wasn’t angry at him until he turned on me. He started saying ugly things to make me go back to corporate America. Everything he said pointed to one underlying theme: Nya would never succeed in her own business. That’s where he lost me. Once you show me that you don’t have faith in me, then you’ve lost me. Kenny lost me some time ago and I think the only reason we are still together is so I can prove to him that I can do it. Once I do that, I think I will probably leave him anyway. So, it doesn’t matter if I’m in love with Allen or not, I don’t want Kenny anyway. He has lost me for good and subconsciously I think he deserves to be hurt.

Now that I say I’m in love with Allen, I wonder if there is anything he could ever do to make me stop loving him. I guess if he ever did anything like what Kenny did, I could. But, I don’t think he would do anything like that. You never know what a person is capable of but it just doesn’t fit with Allen’s personality.

I laid across the bed and fell asleep thinking about how life would be different if I were married to Allen. My intelligent mind knows that happiness is what you make it and I could be happy with Kenny if I wanted to. But I didn’t want to anymore. I had made a conscious decision not to be in love with Kenny anymore. I had my sights set on a new love. My heart was ready to love again, and Allen was the object of my affection. I just wished he would hurry up and get here.

I woke up at about 1:00 a.m. to sound of a voice that was music to my ears. It was Allen. I didn’t expect him until the next day but I heard him in the living room telling his mother that they got on the highway as soon as he got off work.

“I just couldn’t wait to get here,” he told her.

I wonder why. I hope it was because of me. I decided to play it off and stumble in the living room all sleepy-acting and steal a hug. I walked in rubbing my eyes.

“I thought I heard you guys,” I said as I hugged Lisa. I gave her a kiss on the cheek. The baby was asleep so I walked over to Allen and reached up to put my arms around his shoulders. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, as well. He tensed up and I could feel him pull away. I knew he was nervous and I felt that if he was going to act like that the whole time we were here, he would definitely give us away. Now I felt really uneasy because I didn’t know what to say or do and not make him feel uncomfortable. The worst thing he can do now is to act cold towards me because that is a tell-tale sign of liking someone. It was something that we didn’t discuss because naturally I assumed he knew that since he was supposed to be smart and all that.

We all sat around and went through the proverbial jargon about how their trip was and if there was much traffic. Denise and her friend had just been defeated in a game of cards and the winners, my mother-in-law and her neighbor we looking for a new team to beat.

“Come on Ny,” they invited me, “Let us whip on you for a minute”.

“I don’t have a partner,” I complained.

“Come on Allen,” they dared him.

“I just finished driving several hours. I’m really not up for it.”

Now I was really let down. He was going to be avoiding me at all costs. This could turn out to be the worst holiday yet! If I could just get him alone and talk to him, maybe I could get him to lighten up a bit. As for right now, I needed to feel close to him so I persisted.