Lay It Down: Bastards MC Series Boxed Set (22 page)

That made two of us.
When isn’t he home
? “When you told me you were coming home, you meant it. You own it, don’t you?”

He didn't need me to clarify. “Co-own.”

I waited for him to explain, but he didn’t say anything, making me think the worst. “It’s drugs, right? I know you got in a lot of trouble when you were young. Are you a drug dealer?”

He only raised his eyebrows at me.

"Mobster? Stripper? Male escort?" I silently prayed it wasn’t the last one, although that would totally be my luck.

He laughed a full laugh, as if I was the funniest person in the world. “Noooo. But all of those are better than what it really is." He shrugged. "It’s guilt money, Joes.”

“Wait. What?” I shook my head. I'd expected him to tell me I was crazy. Matty couldn’t have money, and he certainly wouldn't have millions tucked away. I would know. Wouldn't I?

“Inheritance. From my grandparents. They cut off my mom when she married my dad and then the two of them disappeared. They didn't know where she was or that she'd had kids until I was a teenager. By then, the damage was done. Apparently they never got over the fact that they didn’t help Cris and me. So they left the two of us everything. This”—he motioned around the room—“was their home. My mom grew up here. Now it’s mine.” He sighed, adjusting on the bed. “I had a life back home, a job I wasn’t gonna give up, and I couldn’t begin to pay the taxes here, so I put it on the market. Rob convinced me that I didn’t want to give up my history, and since he was looking to buy, he bought half. Now we share.” He bit his lip, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear, then cupped my cheek. “One more of my dirty little secrets."

"One more?" I was searching for words. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged. "You know I have a closet-full. It didn’t seem important. But I don’t want anything to come between us. I'm trying, Joes.”

I wanted to bat his hand away but didn’t. “You have a lot of money, don’t you?”

He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I’ve got enough not to worry. But I’m not quitting my job any time soon, and there definitely isn’t a private yacht in my future.”

“Does Taylor know?” Then I remembered the larger-than-life rock she’d had on her finger. And her car—she’d told me he’d bought for her, and I’d assumed she meant he financed. Of course she knew. “She thinks I know… she thinks I’m after your money?" When he didn't answer, I pulled away from him. "Your friends… they do too. Don't they?" I felt sick.

“Hey.” His voice was low, calming. He grabbed my chin, making me meet his eyes. “I don’t care what other people think. I know you didn't know.” He gave me his crooked grin. “You didn’t know, and you fell in love with me anyway.”

"I've been in love with you for a long time, Matty." My voice was a whisper. "I just never realized it." A tear I didn’t even know was coming escaped, rolling down my cheek. Seriously, why must I cry in front of this man so often?

A rough thumb swept it away. He tipped his head. “Really?”

Christ, this was all too surreal. The girl whose life was falling apart only fell in love with the man who could save her in romantic movies and love stories, not in real life. I would give anything for this to be a bad dream, for him to go back to being my Matty.

“Yes.” I nodded. “I didn’t see it before, or at least I didn’t know what it was, but it is so damn clear when I look back.” I shrugged angrily. “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love you. But I can’t possibly compete with the women you’re used to dating. I don’t have the model looks or the rich daddy or…” Out of nowhere, I remembered the weekend getaways he and Taylor had taken that I’d assumed were a gift from her parents. “Or even a passport! And I don’t wear things like that.” I waved at the dress. “I’m simple and boring. I would rather stay home and have a
Lord of the Rings
marathon in my sweats than get all dressed up and go out to a fancy dinner. All I can give you is me.” I was making a complete fool out of myself and didn’t care.

His blue eyes turned dangerously dark—it was like watching a storm brew on the horizon. I braced myself for the devastation headed my way. This was when he told me I was right, I was just too ordinary and that I should go back to my mundane little life. Christ, why would I think I could ever be enough? I tried to pull away, to save him the trouble of breaking my heart, but his hand refused to let go.

“Do you remember the day you threatened me?” His question was so random, I only gaped at him. He smiled, making my heart lurch. “I’ll never forget it.” He shook his head and chuckled. “You told me that you had a name, and unlike the bimbos I slept with, you weren’t going away, so I might as well learn it. Said that if I ever called you sweetie again, you’d make me pay.”

My stomach tightened into knots.

“That was the day I can look back at and say everything changed.”

I wasn’t following him.

“I called Rob and told him that I was stuck working with the most annoying, uptight, and bitchy girl I’d ever met.”

That’s it. I was going to throw up.

“He laughed at me. Apparently I bitched about you for a while, and when I was done, he asked when he could meet you. He said if you made that big of an impression, I was obviously crazy about you. I thought he was being an asshole. Over the next few weeks though, I realized you were pretty fucking great. So that was the day my life changed. Boring and simple are not the words I would use to describe you, Joes.

“We have a good thing, you and me. I would have married Taylor and gone the rest of my life being your best friend because at least I could have been a major player in your life. Then Will made the dumbest fucked up move in history, and when I held you that night in the hotel, it hit me. I’m your friend because it’s the next best thing. I don’t want the next best thing anymore. Fuck, I don’t want any of that shit you just said. All I want is you.”

He was up on his knees and pushing me back onto the bed before I realized he’d moved. He leaned down, his forehead on mine, lips almost touching mine. “Are you done feeling sorry for yourself now? ‘Cause if you are, I want to kiss you.”

19

I stared at the dress and shoes for a long time after he left. I’d never had a man buy me clothes before. Hell, I’d been lucky if Will remembered to help the kids buy me a card for Mother’s Day. Matty had insisted that they hadn’t cost a lot, but I was afraid to look at the label on the dress. The shoes were adorable. I didn’t need to see their brand to know they were something I would never wear to work, and because of that, I wouldn’t have purchased them for myself.

Yet Matty had bought them for me. Not because I’d asked him to, but because he wanted to take me out and have a special night. He had smiled and offered to return them if I was uncomfortable, and buy me something I picked out. That idea offended me even more though, and I told him I would gladly wear them.

I pushed myself up off the bed and grabbed my bag. Rummaging through it, I found my razor and headed into the bathroom to get ready. Maybe I hadn’t bought him a present, but I could make the night special in other ways.

I spent an hour washing, shaving, tweezing, and primping every inch of my body. Afterward, I rubbed a vanilla-scented lotion over my skin, soothing it from the vicious hair removal that had just taken place and leaving me smelling delicious. When I reached my feet, I was thankful that it was flip-flop weather and that I’d painted my toes a few days ago.

I left my hair down, and after a few minutes with the curling iron, a handful of dark brown curls joined the rest of my shoulder-length hair. I didn’t have any jewelry, not that this dress needed it, but as long as my hair was down, my naked neck wasn’t as noticeable. That, and long hair hid the leftover bruises from Will.

Thinking we were spending the weekend in jeans and T-shirts, visiting the highlights of the city, I’d neglected to pack my makeup bag. So minimal it was. Sighing, I leaned into the mirror and finished lining my eyes, loving the way it looked. I hoped Matty would too. Giving myself one last glance, I left the bathroom, grabbed the shoes off the bed, and headed upstairs barefoot.

I heard tones of a conversation once I rounded the living room landing, but I was out of breath and focusing on actually making it to the top floor without dying. Wow. No wonder the two of them were so fit. It wasn’t until I stepped into the hallway that I realized Matty and his friends were talking about Taylor. I stopped, trying to catch my breath and listen at the same time.

“Alls I’m sayin is, if you were gonna dump her, you coulda let me know. I’da helped her through the hahtbreak. Even with that skinny ass a hers.”

I didn’t recognize the voice, but laughter filled the room.

“Yeah, ‘cause you didn’t creep her out or anything, Sean.” Rocker laughed. “That almost woulda happened. I dunno, Ian mighta had some luck—she likes her boys pretty.”

There was more laughter.

“She was a wicked bitch, brotha. I’m glad you got rida her.” I didn’t know that voice either. “But I gotta be honest. Betta the devil we know than the devil we don’t.”

“What the fuck is that supposeda mean?” Matty asked, voice cold and growling.

“Don’t get me wrong, Joey seems great. But at least Tay wasn’t wearin’ anotha man’s ring when you were fuckin’ her. It’s a big fuckin’ risk to take, and I’ve neva known you to do somethin’ so fuckin’ stupid over a piece of ass.”

I bit my lip and stopped breathing completely. I was terrified of where this was headed.

There was a thump, like something was set down hard on the table, followed by the scrape of a chair being pushed back.

“You don’t know a fucking thing about Jo, so shut the fuck up before I break your goddamned nose.” Matty wasn’t yelling, but his voice held a definite threat.

It seemed as if all of them were talking at once, arguing. I stood still, praying no one would come out and find me eavesdropping.

“Hey. Hey!” Rocker was yelling. The room quieted almost instantly and it sounded like people were sitting back down. “Jesus, Hawk!” Matty tried to say something, but Rocker kept talking. “No, Matt, he’s got a fuckin’ point. They don’t know a fuckin’ thing about Jo. All they see is that you bring a strange chick home, don’t tell anyone she’s comin’, and then expect them all to ignore the fact she’s taken? She’s wearing a wedding ring. Anothah man’s fuckin’ wedding ring!”

I looked down, almost surprised to see that I was. I rolled my eyes at my stupidity. I’d never thought about taking it off. Did it bother Matty that I still wore it? Shit!

“We’ve done a lot of fucked up shit over the years…” Rocker sighed. “I get it, okay? I fuckin’ get it. It’s Joey. Tiny and I could probably tell you all her entire life story, God knows we’ve heard enough about her. We know she means somethin’.”

Someone mmhmmed.

“But them? They don't know her. You’d be the first one to shit on one of us if we were that stupid. We avoid attention at all costs, not create it. Tell me just one thing.” He drew in a breath. “Is there a pissed off husband huntin’ you down ‘cause you’re goin’ balls deep in his wife?”

Matty didn’t say anything.

Another voice continued, “Jesus Christ, Matt. Give us something. Is she a widow who isn’t ready to let go? Does the douche beat her?” The voice wasn’t condescending, just curious. “’Cause I really can’t think of another reason you’d bring a married woman here. Especially this weekend.”

“It’s not like that. He’s not looking for her. You can trust her.” Matty seemed to have lost all his anger.

“Like I said, I’m not questioning her. If she didn’t have that ring on her finger, she’d be a fuckin’ keepah. It’s your judgment I have a problem with.”

I didn’t want to hear anymore. They might be talking about me, but it was between them. I needed fresh air. I could go for a walk, but I was stuck in this stupid dress with no shoes that I could actually function in. Spotting the roof door, I made up my mind and sprinted across the foyer, hugging the back wall. I didn’t think anyone would see me, but as I got to the other side, I glanced back into the kitchen and locked eyes with Rob, who was carrying three beer bottles toward the counter. Thankfully, he blocked my view of the table. He only had time to scowl at me before I turned and ran for the stairs. 

The spiral staircase was steep, but that wasn’t the only reason I was out of breath when I stepped out onto the roof. I really shouldn’t have listened to that conversation. The hot humid July air sucked away what little breath I had left. I was suddenly thankful for the sleeveless, lightweight dress. I didn’t know what I’d expected, but the space in front of me wasn’t it. I turned around, taking it all in. I was in the middle of the roof, which surprised me, as did the black iron fence that enclosed the entire area. A little building was on the other side of the roof in front of me, but the rest of the roof was wide-open space that the boys had decorated to show their style.