Last Christmas (13 page)

Chapter Twelve

Ella woke up to the sound of Robbie’s grunting snore. It bellowed through the room and pierced the festive air like a pneumatic drill. It was Christmas Day and Ella awoke to see her ex-boyfriend slumped over her sofa like a stocking that was yet to be filled.

She got out of bed, showered and changed in the bathroom. She walked over to the source of the stale smell of alcohol and sat down next to him.

Robbie stirred slightly, his eyes opening, hazy at first but when he realised he was looking up at Ella’s stern face, he rubbed his eyes and bolted upright. He looked up at her like a school child waiting to be reprimanded by his head master.

“Merry Christmas,” Ella said with quiet sarcasm.

“Oh Ella, it’s Christmas Day and I’ve ruined it for you.”

Ella said nothing.

“What happened?” Robbie asked, a nervous weak smile twitching across his face.

“You don’t remember?” Ella said surprised. She had to fight the urge to be rude.

He shook his head in shame.

“Well, let’s see. You barged in here drunk interrupting my Christmas Eve date, you proceeded to tell the man that I’m dating that we kissed the other day and proposed to me again, this time in front of him. Then you practically passed out while still down on one knee and I had to drag you to the sofa.”

Robbie winced.

“Ella, I know you’re tired of hearing it, and it sounds so mechanically devoid of meaning now that I’ve said it so many times, but please know I am sorry.”

She nodded, acknowledging his apology and stared up at the ceiling.

“I have handled this all so badly. I thought I could come back and solve this but I can see I was wrong. You have moved on and I need to respect that. I need to accept that. You seem to be doing so well, brilliant even. Oh, that sounds patronising when I didn’t mean it to be. I just meant that you look great, exceptional, at the moment. I know I have a funny way of showing it but I’m so happy for you that your career is sky-rocketing too.”

“Thank you, Robbie.”

They sat in silence for some time until Robbie spoke finally.

“I can’t believe I’ve lost the most wonderful thing I ever had.”

It was Ella’s turn to wince now. How did one answer that?

“Well, maybe we haven’t lost anything. Maybe we can still be friends in the future,” Ella said half-heartedly. They looked at each other, recognising that this would never happen.

“I wish that could be true Ella. But I don’t think it can be with our history, not for a long time anyway. It would never be simple because I’ve really cocked this up!”

They laughed a little and talked for a few minutes about their relationship and about how they would both move forwards without each other. Robbie was back in London for good but he promised he would give her space.

Ella took his hand in hers. “I did love you an awful amount and we did have a fantastic relationship Robbie.”

“We had fun, didn’t we?” he asked.

“Yes, but we argued.”

“All the time. We could never —”

“Agree on anything! I’m surprised we managed to buy a house together.”

“Or choose where to go on holiday.”

“We had so many holidays.”

“We had so much sex!”

Ella laughed a little now, remembering fondly that Robbie always tried to sprinkle humour into serious conversations. He hadn’t been wrong in what he had said though – they had shared an undeniably strong chemistry.

“Yes. We did. We always agreed when it came to that …” Ella admitted. She pulled her hand away now and straightened up, tugging her dress down a bit.

“Ella?”

“Yes, Robbie?”

“Merry Christmas.” Robbie said it with sadness heavy in his eyes. He stood up to go but he put his hands on either side of her cheeks and leant down to kiss her forehead. She closed her eyes as he did so, soaking up the last of her past.

“One thing before you go …” she asked.

“Anything,” he said tenderly.

“How did you know where I lived?”

Robbie sighed self-consciously, embarrassed to admit how he knew.

“I text Jimi. I asked him where your new house was. I said it was urgent.”

Ella shook her head in disbelief. She walked towards him and hugged him and held him tightly in an embrace that lasted for a minute or two.

“Goodbye Robbie,” she said finally as she closed the door behind him.

*

“Libby! I can’t come for lunch. I’m so sorry, but I was with Fergus last night and Robbie showed up and spoke about a kiss and marrying me and Fergus ran off and he won’t answer any of my calls. I have to go and find him and explain,” she rambled.

“Oh my god, darling! Shit, breath! Christmas drama! Oh fuck Merry Christmas! Listen, don’t worry. Emily’s just gone into labour so I think we’ll be missing Christmas lunch too!”

“Ahhh!!!! Why didn’t you say?”

“Ahh, I’m going to be an auntie!” she screeched.

“How exciting! Oh send them my love please. Call me when she’s born and tell Toby he’s going to be a wonderful father!”

“Will do! Good luck with Fergus. Go and get him! Hopefully we’ll still do Boxing Day tomorrow so I’ll see you then?”

“Of course. Let’s talk later when things have calmed down on both of our ends! But Libs, before you go, you don’t have Fergus’ home address to you? His parents’ home address? He said he was driving to theirs this morning and I just need to see him and explain everything else he’s going to think I’m the worst human being in the world. Is it okay to go to his house, not too bold?”

“It’s the perfect amount of bold. It’s bloody Christmas day and romantic — you have to do it! I’ll text you the address in a second; we’re just heading to the hospital. Eeek!! Good luck!!”

“And to you Auntie Libby!”

“Mwah.”

Libby was going to be an auntie! And she was going to go after Fergus! Was this mad? What did she need? She packed her handbag, slid a pair of dark chocolate suede knee high boots over her tights and grabbed her cream hat and matching scarf.

Her phone pinged. She was disappointed to find it wasn’t Libby with Fergus’ address but she was happy to see the message was from Jimi.

Hey baby sis, Merry Christmas! Is everything okay? Robbie text me yesterday and asked for your address … is he back? Are you two back together? Tell me what’s going on! Having breakfast by myself in the hotel – most depressing Christmas ever! Hope your morning is better than mine. Will call later, you’re probably still asleep. Lots of love, J x

She shot him a quick reply telling him not to worry and that she would explain all when he was home on New Year’s Eve. Just as she put her phone down, it pinged again, this time with the coveted address. She put the address into her phones’ GPS app. It was a small village in Hampshire just under two hours away. With nobody driving on Christmas Day, everybody tucked up in their cosy homes surely the roads would be empty? She could get there in no time.

Ella picked up her things, locked the house and de-frosted her windscreen. She jumped in the car, put her bag on the passenger seat, wedged her phone into the slot under the heaters that didn’t work and turned the key. The steering wheel was cold in her hands and she lamented the lack of warmth. She meant to get her heating fixed before winter but she had never found the time. She turned on the radio as she merged onto the A1 and then onto the M4. Ten minutes into her journey, on the outskirts of London, light snow began to fall. As the tall grey buildings of London turned into green fields and idyllic cottages, the snow thickened all around her.

Ella started to think seriously for the first time about what she was doing.

Was this an absolutely crazy idea? Storming Fergus’ house uninvited on Christmas Day? When she thought about it like that, of course it was. But Fergus was ignoring her calls since Robbie had burst in on them last night and she had no choice. She had to make it right with him. Ella coughed as the biting cold infiltrated every limb of her body. She could see her breath on the inside of her car and she pulled her bobble hat tighter over her face to retain as much heat as possible. She passed the time singing Christmas Carols that were playing on the radio, trying to distract and warm herself.

Ella was plagued with doubt now. She looked out the windscreen to see signs for Andover — that meant she was getting close. She panicked. She was close. What was she going to say? How was she going to explain Robbie and what was Fergus going to say in return? She really hadn’t thought this through properly and her building anxiety attack was distracting her from concentrating on the road.
What did that sign just say?
She squinted at the next sign but it didn’t say anything about the upcoming junction, just was just a sign for the next services. The junction was approaching and she didn’t know whether to take the exit or continue on the road. She consulted her phone app again and it advised her to take the exit onto a small B road. She took the exit but saw that her battery was down to 7%. She urged it to survive just twenty more minutes.

Ella drove on, following the automated directions from her robotic map. The countryside was becoming increasingly wild and the snow was piled up on the sides of the road almost a metre thick.

Ella turned down a small lane that her phone prompted her to take. The app informed her she’d stay on this road for three miles and then when she got to a small river she needed to turn left immediately after a bridge and then right again into what looked like a private road.

Ella’s could no longer feel her feet they were so frozen but she persevered. The snow on this side lane looked treacherously thick so she slowed right down to avoid slipping.

Just as she navigated her way gently around a bend bearing right, she heard a large
pop
that made her jump in her seat. The pop was followed by a slight hiss and as she rolled forward she felt the car growing heavier. Ella tried to accelerate a little but she felt the car lagging. Her view out of the windscreen was somehow wonky now and she realised with regret that her tyre must have hit something.

She stopped the car and went to assess the damage. Her back left tyre was flat. Just her luck! Ella traipsed back a few metres down the quiet road to see what had caused the split. She saw a lump in the snow and dusted the snow away to find a small cog that looked like it had belonged to a tractor or a snowplough. She picked it up and felt the rough and rusting grooves of the cog in her hand. What was she going to do now? She had never changed a tyre before and wasn’t even sure if she had a spare one to swap the old one with. She was stuck in the middle of nowhere and no one knew where she was. Ella walked frustrated to her front seat and picked up her mobile. She’d try Fergus once more and hope that he would pick up this time, but as she dialled his number the phone made a squeaky noise and the light drained from the screen. No no no! Her battery had died.

What was she going to do now? She hadn’t seen another car on the road since she left the motorway. She was close to Fergus’ house and she remembered the GPS instructions well enough to walk there, she thought. But then she was still two, maybe three, miles away. That would take at least an hour with the snow and her heeled boots!

“Ah,” she cried to the air. “Typical!”

She leant against her car and tried to construct a plan. Surely someone would pass by the road soon on their way to church and they would help her.

Ella stared at the cog that she was still holding. She didn’t want to throw it back on to the ground or over the pretty hedge that lined the lane, in case it caused some damage to another car or animal. She walked to the back of her car and opened the boot. She dropped the piece of machinery that had been the start of her demise in the boot and sighed. She moved aside some canvases and sketches that were strewn untidily across the boot and felt for a latch on the bottom of the boot. She felt something that was colder than the carpeted floor of the boot and yanked on it. It was a plastic lever than opened a hidden compartment that had a spare tyre in it! Thank goodness for old cars with spare tyres, she thought.

Ella hoisted out the spare and put it on the snowy floor. She felt for the wrench and jack and stared at them in her hands. She could do this! She could work out how to do it; she was an intelligent woman after all and she’d seen it done on television once. Ella put her car into first gear then walked to the rear left wheel and started to remove the hubcap. She rested her left knee on the cold road while partially loosening the lug nuts with the wrench. She remembered suddenly that she should put something heavy in front of the diagonal opposite wheel to prevent it from slipping but she had nothing that could act as a stopper. She hoped for the best, took off her coat and crouched down in the snow. She inserted the handle in the jack and turned it clockwise to lift the car up. Once it was high enough, she pulled off the lug nuts completely and then took off the drooping tyre. She chucked it onto the floor behind her and picked up the spare tyre. She was impressed with how she had done so far but now she was faced with a new problem; which way around did the tyre go on?

Ella surveyed the tyre and decided it looked right for the air valve to be on the outside of the tyre. She slid on the new tyre and put the lug nuts back on, tightening them in the same order she had undone them. She stood back and sighed. She was shattered, the tyre was so heavy and the floor was so cold she felt like collapsing in the snow and crying. This might just be the worst Christmas ever, she thought as she moved to wind down the jack until the tyre touched the floor gently. She removed it and slung it, and the flat tyre, in her boot. She had done it!