Last Christmas (12 page)

Chapter Ten

Ella was brushing her teeth in the bathroom when the sound of the kettle startled her. She had forgotten she had put it on and now its screeching was trying to win her attention. She slid aside the glass door of the bathroom and rushed to the hob to take the kettle off the flame. She poured the boiling water onto her teabag and went back to the bathroom to spit out the foamy toothpaste that had collected in her mouth.

Ella slipped on a pair of jeans and a charcoal grey cashmere jumper that was soft and flattered her waist. Once she was dressed she added a dash of milk to her earl grey and stared into the rippling brown hot liquid.

What was she going to do today? She sipped the tea and thought about how she could fill her lazy Sunday. She didn’t want to brave the cold but she wanted to do something Christmassy. Perhaps it was the perfect day to watch festive films she thought; Christmas Day was only two days away now and she could do with relaxing after the busy week she’d had. Suddenly Ella remembered presents! She hadn’t yet wrapped any of the ones she had bought. She took her tea into the art studio where all the gifts, paper, scissors and ribbon were stored.

Sitting in the studio, Ella realised how strange it looked now that her paintings were not there. This empty space was normally so full of colour and life and although the exposed redbrick walls looked rustic and pretty, the room felt bare. She couldn’t help but feel the barrenness of the room reflected her glum state. Although she felt she had made the right decision with regards to Robbie, she still felt a pang of loneliness. Every time she folded the blue-glitter-encrusted silver wrapping paper, a loud crunching sound was produced and echoed against the naked walls. Ella tried to remind herself that this noise was not one of emptiness or loneliness but in fact, it was the sound of success. The amplified sound was only heard because her paintings were being exhibited and all of them had been bought!

But Ella’s thoughts drifted back to the night before. She couldn’t believe that Robbie had proposed to her. She wondered if he had been planning on returning and asking her to marry him for a while or if it had just been a spur of the moment thing in the lead up to Christmas. Ella’s thoughts strayed from Robbie to Fergus. She felt so guilty for having kissed Robbie, even momentarily, when she and Fergus were an item, or they were an item. But she was also glad that she had kissed Robbie because it had given her the closure she needed and shown how just what she had with Fergus. Last night’s kiss had felt foreign and uncanny but her first kiss with Fergus on that patio … wow. She knew it was clichéd but when he had kissed her she had felt like a firework had exploded inside her.

Ella’s contemplation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Ella wasn’t sure who is could be; she wasn’t expecting anybody and it was a Sunday so it wouldn’t be a delivery of some sort. She stood up, using her hand to push herself up from the floorboards. She opened the heavy metal door to see Harry, Charlie, Lara and Libby huddled for warmth like a pack of penguins braving the icy wind.

“Hi! What a surprise! Come in!” she said, welcoming them.

“We come bearing gifts!” Harry grinned as he stepped over the threshold and gestured to a large bag of goodies.

“We thought we’d cook you a roast. Cheer you up a bit and celebrate the exhibition of course!” Lara said, taking off her jacket and settling a large hessian bag of food on the breakfast bar.

“Oh guys, you shouldn’t have!” Ella cried, so happy to see her friends. “I hope Libby’s not cooking though!”

“Ha ha ha,” Libby said sarcastically. “No, I’m in charge of entertainment. I’ll do the music. I knew you were in today, I hope you don’t mind we came over,” she said as she walked over to Ella’s stereo.

“It’s a wonderful surprise.”

The group gathered around the kitchen island and unpacked the supplies while they listened to Michael Bublé’s hit Christmas album.

They spent the early afternoon stuffing the chicken with lemon and herbs and peeling the potatoes. When the spuds were part-boiled they squished each one a little and doused them in goose fat before putting them into the oven to roast alongside the chicken. The veggies were sliced and the Yorkshire puddings were defrosted.

“We’re cheating on the Yorkshire’s – just Aunt Bessie’s!” Lara explained.

“But we did buy a rather nice bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon which will more than make up for ready-made Yorkshires,” Harry said, as he poured Ella a glass and forced her to sit down and relax. Ella was so happy to see her best friends teetering around her, preparing wonderful smelling Christmas fare. She decided that they should set up a dinning table in her art studio as there was ample space now and only room for two people at the breakfast bar.

Harry and Charlie hopped to it and moved one of Ella’s desks that was pressed up against the wall into the centre of the room. They flung a red tablecloth over the desk that Ella had lying around. They added the plates, cutlery and Christmas crackers to the table and for every item they placed down, Libby adjusted it. She rearranged the mistletoe and candles to look more elegant and also to prevent the plant catching fire on the flames. Watching them set the table was like watching a ballet sequence from the
Nutcracker
; they navigated their way around each other, turning and swirling with poise, all moving to the same rhythm.

As the men completed the final movement of their dance, the
fetch
the
napkins
sequence, Lara and Libby brought in the piping hot food.

No sooner had they sat down to feast, than the questions about last night were asked.

“So, how was it last night?” Lara asked. “Libby told us you met with
you
know
who
but that she couldn’t come to see you afterwards because the pre-teen diva she had to dress was causing a scene.”

“Mm,” Libby said, swallowing her sip of wine. “She was
so
drunk that she ran around trying to take her clothes off at the after party. I had to keep redressing her!”

“But back to the question …” Lara interrupted.

Ella told her closest friends all about the evening she had had. She told them how she had chosen somewhere neutral for them to meet so that she could keep her distance and that Robbie had thought that he could woo her by taking her to one of her
old
favourite restaurants. She told them that she had started off cold and resolute but with the help of a little wine and Robbie’s charm she had opened up a little more and grown more affectionate. Finally, she told them that he had proposed.

“He proposed!?” Charlie asked, as he spat out a little of his wine, clearly mortified.

“Shit,” said Harry.

“Wow!” said Lara.

“What a head fuck,” said Libby. “How on earth did you react?”

“I said no, obviously.”

Libby sighed a huge sigh of relief and Charlie slammed his hand on the table in pleasure.

Ella paused for a while, waiting on Lara and Harry’s reactions. “I said no and then I ran out of the restaurant and I haven’t spoken to him since,” she continued.

“Well done you!” Libby said, practically whooping. “Doesn’t he know it’s not just about the proposal anymore? Urgh, he doesn’t understand that he changed things by going away.
Men
. ”

“Exactly Libs, he doesn’t understand that at all. Although it was a pretty horrid conversation, I did enjoy seeing the look on his face when I said no!” she admitted. Charlie who was sitting opposite her at the other head of the table grinned with her. It reminded her that she didn’t know if he had caught up with Robbie on the night of the exhibition and said something to him. She wouldn’t be surprised it he had and she would be glad for it too.

Ella turned to Lara now who had been quiet ever since Ella had them told them she had turned Robbie down.

“What is it?” Ella demanded.

Lara looked up at Ella and shifted in her seat. She placed her knife and fork down and started to speak.

“Well, don’t bite my
head
off but I assumed you’d
have
said yes. It is what you have wanted for so
long
, to have a family and a future with him. And now
he
is offering it to you. I’m not
saying
you should forgive him straight away for
what
he did but I’m surprised you said no to marrying him.”

Suddenly the four friends were off, each battling to voice their opinions. Charlie and Libby disagreed with Lara; they didn’t think Robbie deserved Ella after what he had done. But Harry agreed with Lara and said that Ella shouldn’t be stubborn, she should appreciate that Robbie had the courage to admit that he had made a mistake and was coming back to fix it like a man. Their bickering went on for a few minutes and Ella sat at the top of the table and heard the arguments that poured out of her friends’ mouth dart passionately between both sides of the table, back and forth like a sloppy game of tennis.

She stood up suddenly.

“Guys!” she shouted. “I have made up my decision. I am resolute. I appreciate your support, your love, and your advice. You’ve all been incredible this last year but this is my decision and I’d like you to respect it. I do not want to marry Robbie.”

She sat down and they all nodded obediently.

Lara spoke first. “We only want the
best
for you
Ell
. I didn’t mean to —”

“I know,” Ella said, smiling, as she put her hand on Lara’s. “And this is the best for me. I know it’s best for me because I can see now that Robbie and I weren’t right and because I feel strongly about Fergus.” The others raised their eyebrows as they finished the remains of their meal and Ella continued. “I really like Fergus. I know it’s so soon to say but, well I feel so different when I am with him. I feel like a bolder, more courageous and better version of myself when I’m with him. He’s the most thoughtful man I’ve ever met and I think I’d be daft not to see where it goes. Just the way he looks at me …” Ella trailed off, distracted by the sound of her friends’ giggling.

“What? What is it?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Harry said, laughing. “It’s just you put on this weird dreamy voice when you talk about Fergus.”

“No I do not!”

“Yes you do!” they all cried.

“Ella’s iiinnn looorrveee,” Charlie teased.

Using her spoon, Ella catapulted a big chunk of carrot at Charlie’s face.

“You guys are so ridiculous. One minute you are arguing about whether I should get married to my ex-boyfriend and then the next you are claiming I’m in love with a man I’ve only known for a week!” There was an eruption of laughter and they began to sling bits of food at each other across the table.

“Ha ha. Exasperating aren’t we? Aren’t you so glad you have us!?” Libby asked Ella, as she flung a spoonful of peas at her.

“Yes actually! I’m so lucky!” she cried as she flicked a roast potato back at Libby.

“Let’s get this cleaned up and bring out pudding before we end up getting chicken on the ceiling!” Lara said quickly, keen to avoid a full-blown food fight which would ruin her white jumper.

While everybody emptied the table and prepared the decadent-looking Marks & Spencer sticky toffee pudding, Ella checked her phone. Thirty-seven missed calls from Robbie Newton and a text from Fergus:
So looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night. Let’s dress black tie and go somewhere lovely afterwards. Shall I pick you up at 6.30pm? x

Ella replied, confirming her excitement and the time and remembered that she needed to pick up her fur jacket that she forgot to pick up as she was running out of
Sarastro
on Saturday evening. She would wear it tomorrow night on Christmas Eve with one of her full-length dresses, though she wasn’t sure which one.

She turned her phone off and went back to her friends who were now helping themselves to a glass of port. They finished the scrumptious pudding and exchanged presents under the small tree that Ella had bought and decorated a few weeks ago. Overcome by sleepiness and an indulgently full feeling, they all flopped onto Ella’s sofa and began to watch
It’s
a
Wonderful
Life
.

Chapter Eleven

It was Christmas Eve and Ella was feeling exceptionally festive. She had spent the day with Libby wandering around Christmas markets and sampling Christmas treats. They had gone to Winter Wonderland and gorged on German pretzels, yellow and pink striped hard candies, crepes and a lot of mulled wine. They had been wrapped up in cosy bobble hats and gloves when snow started to fall. There was a light wind so the snowflakes fluttered up and down, swirling in the air like butterflies. It hadn’t snowed since Friday morning when she had stayed the night at Fergus’ for the first time. That night had been so incredible that she hoped she would be spending this night with him again. She told Libby about the ballet that her and Fergus were going to and that they had planed to wear black tie. Ella ran through her dress options with Libby, her personal stylist, who insisted that she should wear her red silk dress because it was both knockout and fantastically festive.

The two best friends had been walking through the rosy-cheeked crowds at Winter Wonderland arm in arm for over an hour. They had spent their time talking about men, fashion and work. Libby told Ella she had met someone at the premiere on Saturday evening. He was a red-headed actor who had boldly, but smoothly, asked her for her number. She had given it to him happily and had spent most of the after party laughing with him, (when she wasn’t dressing her ward).

Ella was ecstatic to hear that Libby had a new love interest and hinted at a double date with her and Fergus if things became more serious with this Eddie.

They had eaten so much throughout the day that Ella had no idea how she was going to fit into her dress now that she was at home looking at it in the flesh. She stared at it on the bed, the scarlet silk shining brightly against her cream bedspread. Ella knew that there was only one way to hold in her sweetie-bloated stomach and that was spanks. She said a little prayer for the person who had invented the nifty creation and hoisted them up above her waist.

She slipped on her silk dress. It was simple, elegant and sexy. It had two thin shoulder straps that criss-crossed over her back. At the base of the spine the material gathered and scooped low so that her whole back was exposed. The neckline at the front showed a hint of cleavage but the main focus of the dress was the devastatingly seductive slit that run up her left leg. It wasn’t a very warm outfit to be wearing on a snowy night but she had her fur coat, that she had collected from the restaurant before going to meet Libby. Going back to
Sarastro
where Robbie had proposed hadn’t brought back as many emotions as she had thought it would and Ella was proud of herself for staying strong and for refusing to pick up any of Robbie’s calls, even when he had started to ring every half an hour.

Ella adjusted her dress under her bust and slid the material a little to the right as the leg slit had encouraged the dress to swim westerly across her body. She heard a car pull up outside her flat so she picked up her cream clutch bag and went outside to meet Fergus.

Fergus greeted her with a gentle kiss on the lips and the connection made her feel electric. They headed off in a taxi and talked about their weekends, though Ella was careful not to mention what she did on Saturday night. They drove past Trafalgar square, Charing Cross station and on to St Martin’s Lane where the cab stopped.

When they stepped into the London Coliseum they turned heads; they were without a doubt the most glamorous couple in there, though other people had dressed up smartly for the Christmas Eve show. Fergus collected their tickets from the box office while Ella took in the theatre’s grand surroundings.

Ella was feasting on the ornate ceiling when a buzzing in her clutch interrupted her. Her phone was on silent but it was still vibrating. She reached into the sequined cream purse and turned off the vibrate settings on her mobile. She couldn’t deal with Robbie’s persistent pestering. Her phone was exhausted from the relentless ringing and all she wanted to do was drop it on the floor so that it would be swept into a crowd of expensively heeled shoes. She resisted the urge to drop her phone on the floor but she did finally give in to temptation of her voicemail. She dialled in and listened to the first of three messages:

“Ell, please tark to me. Pleease pick up, I love yyou.” Robbie was drunk. He mumbled something incomprehensible and then she heard what she thought was “need to seez you t’night.” She hung up the voicemail and turned her phone off. The silent setting wasn’t enough; she wanted her and Fergus to have a wonderful evening together without Robbie haunting her mailbox or her mind. She crammed her phone into her bag in exasperation just as Fergus returned with the tickets.

Ella followed Fergus up the lefthand staircase to a private box. She was thrilled that they would be sitting in their own secluded balcony, with a personal waiter and a superior view. Ella wondered how Fergus was able to book all of these wonderful treats at such short notice. Alice’s Underground Adventures, the Planetarium and now the
Nutcracker
in a box! All of these events had to be booked well in advance which led her to believe that he must very well connected.

As the curtain began to draw apart and the house lights dimmed, Fergus and Ella moved their chairs a little closer to each other. The thick velvet drapes parted to reveal a dreamland of glittering white forests as the music began to stir. The brilliant red uniforms of the toy soldiers stood in contrast to the snow-encrusted woodlands and the dark green of the colossus pine tree that dwarfed the stage.

Fergus looked over to see pure delight lighting up Ella’s face.

*

After the show, Ella and Fergus went to a speakeasy around the corner from the theatre. Deciding they weren’t very hungry but just a little peckish and worried that the snow outside may thicken while they dined late, Ella and Fergus opted for fast food. They searched for a taxi while eating soggy take-out chips from a polystyrene box. They wondered how funny they must look ambling through the West End in glamorous black tie diving into a box of greasy chips in the middle of the snowy street.

They finally hopped in a cab and headed to Ella’s flat.

As the taxi pulled up, Ella took out her purse and paid the driver making it clear that they were both getting out at her flat.

Ella unlocked the door and stumbled through the steel frame. She switched on a few side lamps that brought a warm glow to the studio.

“Ella, this studio is so cool. It’s got much character!”

She thanked him and gave him the grand tour showing him her art space behind the wall at the head of her bed.

“I love it! So great you can paint here too,” Fergus said. “It’s very you.”

“And what does that mean?” Ella asked cheekily, drawing closer to him.

“Well, sophisticated, beautiful, creative, unique,” he said as he stroked her cheek. He leant in and kissed the arch of her neck, sending tingles down her spine. He kissed her lightly up her neck, across her jaw line and up to her lips. He lingered for a moment and then kissed her again as he started to pull off her heavy coat.

She took it off completely and led him back through to her living area.

“Would you like some wine?” she asked, her voice slightly raspy now.

“Tell me where it is and I’ll pour us some,” he replied smiling. She put her coat on the bed and showed him her small collection of wine in the rack standing against the side of the kitchen island.

He decided on a Merlot and poured them two large glasses. Ella slipped off her silver heels and walked back over to the island looking sultry as she moved. It was hard not to walk sexily in her red dress as the slit was so provocative. Fergus couldn’t help but grin at how irresistible she looked and he raised his glass for a toast.

“To meeting you just in time for Christmas,” he said as his eyes sparkled.

Ella pouted and raised her eyebrows at the sentimental toast.

“To Christmas and,” she paused thoughtfully, “to the most magical ten days with you.” They clinked glasses and sipped their wine, not taking their eyes off each other.

They looked like naughty school children, both giddy in each other’s presence.

As they put their glasses down on the table there was a mighty knock at the door, which made them jump. Ella spilled some wine on the counter as the aggressive metallic knock had taken her by surprise. They looked at each other both a little perturbed as to who would be knocking on Christmas Eve so late. The rapping started again, louder this time.

Ella walked to the front door and unlocked the door. Robbie was leaning against the doorframe, one hand on his hip and his breath crisp on the cold air.

Ella’s face dropped. Panic spread across her body as she took in the inebriated Robbie standing square in front of her.

“Ella, who is it? Is everything okay?” Fergus asked as he saw Ella’s body freeze from behind.

Robbie pushed over the front door and walked into the room.

“Ella, Ella …” He was stumbling, his red eyes trying to focus on his ex-girlfriend.

“Robbie what are you doing here?” she shouted, mortified at his presence.

Fergus moved around the island now, realising that this man he had mildly recognised was the tall figure that had shown up at Ella’s exhibition.

“Ella, I had to see you. You wouldn’t answer your phone.”

“Robbie, there is a reason I didn’t answer my phone and you know it. I’d like you to leave.” Ella could feel Fergus’ gaze was on the pair of them and she didn’t know what to do.

“So, yourr saying Zaturday meant nothing?” he asked slurring.

Ella was determined not to let Robbie destroy the evening or say something that might upset Fergus.

“No. Please leave.”

“Yourr sayin’ our kiss meant nothing?”

“You kissed this guy?” Fergus asked gently but with disdain.

Ella turned to explain but Robbie got there first.

“Yess. And this
guy
,” he said gesturing to himself, “is Ella’s boyfriend of six years.”

“
Ex
-boyfriend,” Ella said bitterly, snapping back to Robbie’s direction.

“Ella, I asskd you to marry me and I’ll do it again now,” he said. As he attempted to bend down onto one knee, Robbie lost his footing and fell. He hit his head on the edge of her wooden bed and clutched it as it had started to bleed. Ella rushed to his rescue.

“Are you okay?” she asked, inspecting his cut.

“I’m fine,” he said, steadying himself. He got back onto one knee now and looked like he was searching for the ring as he rifled unsuccessfully through his pockets

“Look Ella, you wanted to marry me, whatz changed?”

Ella stood up to talk to Fergus. She wanted, no she needed, to salvage this quickly otherwise he was going to draw the wrong conclusions and think the worst of her.

“Fergus, I —”

“I think I better leave,” he said staring solemnly at Ella. She was tongue-tied and didn’t know how to explain Robbie’s appearance, the kiss and the proposal all in one go. She shook her head flustered and tried to speak again.

“Fergus, please —”

“No Ella, I think you two clearly need to talk.” He walked across the room and picked up his coat. He turned back to see Ella glued to the same spot opposite the man who was wobbling absurdly down on one knee. It looked like a tragic tableau from a GCSE drama lesson entitled ‘Christmas disaster’.

“So long as he’s not too drunk that you feel unsafe … I’ll be going.”

Ella swallowed. Of course she didn’t feel unsafe, it was Robbie, the person she knew best in this world, but safe or not, she didn’t want to be here with him now. She gave a light nod, thinking it best for her to deal with Robbie alone.

Fergus looked down at her and said “goodbye Ella” with such finality that she felt as if she might explode with tears. His eyes looked full of disappointment and disdain. He left swiftly, the metallic shrillness of the door reinforcing Ella’s new feeling of emptiness.

She sighed and looked at her drunken ex-boyfriend. He was falling asleep, one hand clutching the ring he had finally found, and the other supporting himself against the floor. His head was bobbing down to meet his cocked leg and he was dribbling.