Last Chance Beauty Queen (21 page)

“I’m sure Dash will like it,” Momma said.

Probably not. She had a feeling Dash liked his woman wearing something a little more mature.

But she was stuck. She was going to have to put on that dress and go kiss Dash, or run the risk of infuriating her mother and undoing any progress Bubba might have made as a result of the Lasso Fiasco.

I
t was stifling in the Exhibit Hall that afternoon when Caroline, Jane, and Momma finally arrived for the big kiss-off. Apparently the Committee to Resurrect Golfing for God had photocopied a whole bunch of handbills advertising the fact that the single girls of Allenberg County would be selling their kisses between 3:00 and 5:00 p.m. The handbill made it clear that anyone with a deep enough pocket could participate in the kiss auction at the beginning of the event.

In the hours between church and the kiss-off, Jane and Momma had polished Caroline’s nails, given her a pedicure, trimmed and coiffed her hair, and let out the top of that stupid watermelon sundress.

Rachel was waiting for them at the kissing booth by the time they all arrived. She was wearing her own little pink and green dress and looked way cuter than Caroline, in a deeply tanned, beautifully straight-haired, and uneasy way.

Caroline took a seat next to her friend at a long table
where six other young ladies were sitting. Most of these women were college kids, the daughters of members of the Committee to Resurrect Golfing for God. “I was sandbagged and hoodwinked and all but roped into doing this. What’s your excuse?”

Rachel managed a little smile. “I, quote, volunteered, unquote, after Momma twisted my arm. I’m sorry I didn’t give you fair warning. But I reckon it’s okay because Dash is going to buy up all your kisses. You better be prepared to give everyone a real big show on the first one, though.”

Caroline had already figured out that she was going to have to tongue kiss Dash Randall—in public. Just thinking about it made Caroline’s throat close up right to her tonsils.

She scanned the growing crowd, made up mostly of younger, college-aged men. “This is unseemly, you know. I think I’d rather be the victim in one of those dunking machines.”

“You don’t mean that. Just think about it for a minute. If you get dunked in one of those machines, you end up in a wet T-shirt,” Rachel said.

“Oh. Yeah. I forgot. Maybe this is better. Not much better, but better.”

“Quit whining. I’m sure those young guys are not here to kiss an old maid like me. And I don’t have someone like Dash in the wings to buy up my kisses. I’m going to get all the frogs. I’m hoping one of them will turn into Prince Charming. At least that was what Momma said when she was twisting my arm.”

Caroline scanned the crowd. “Well, you could always hope.” And then she saw him, a head taller than most of
the other men and wearing another one of his Cutter & Buck golf shirts. Hugh deBracy did not fit in with this crowd. An ordinary man he was not.

But one glance at him and Caroline’s hormones started waltzing.

“What’s
he
doing here?” Rachel asked, nodding toward his Lordship.

“Maybe he fancies you.”

Rachel started laughing and then stopped abruptly. “He’s with Bubba. Oh, bless his heart, his face is a mess.”

Bubba looked a little better today. The splint was off his nose and his shiners were fading from dark blue to various shades of green and yellow. His lip still looked puffy. And the stitches were pretty obvious.

“I don’t think he’s going to be doing much kissing,” Caroline said. “But what in the Sam Hill is he doing with Hugh?”

Rachel blinked. “You don’t know?”

“Uh, no. Is there something I should know?”

“Last night, Lord Woolham apologized to Bubba and then offered to help him with his derby car on account of the fact that Bubba is really ticked off at Dash over the lasso incident, not to mention the way the two of you were dancing last night. I’m a little worried that Bubba is not going to be happy with Dash buying up all your kisses.”

“Hugh helped him with his derby car? Really?”

“Yeah, I heard he’s a real good mechanic. And since when are you calling him Hugh?”

Caroline’s face got hot as she flashed on an image of that tiny blood blister under Hugh’s thumbnail. Maybe he’d gotten it last night working on Bubba’s car. That
blister made him seem so normal and ordinary. Like the kind of man she could actually call by first name.

Boy, she really needed to watch herself. She needed to remember that Hugh was practically engaged to an heiress named Lady Ashton.

Just then, Hettie Marshall clapped her hands and assumed her position as the mistress of ceremonies. “All right, ya’ll,” she said. “Welcome to the first annual kiss-off. I want to thank the single girls of Last Chance for volunteering their puckers.” Whistles and catcalls greeted this announcement.

Caroline leaned toward Rachel. “And we went to college for this.”

“Hush, Rocky, I’m almost looking forward to this.”

“You are? Really?”

She shrugged. “It’s better than worrying about the chicken plant.”

Hettie continued with her discussion of the rules. “It’s five dollars a kiss,” she said. “So if you want to buy up the attention of any of these young ladies for the next two hours, you’ll have to spend at least two hundred dollars.”

A number of college-age boys looked disappointed by this news.

Hettie did not let their disappointment deter her. “We will begin the auction shortly, but before we do, I have to warn you that, just because you’ve bought a young lady’s attention does not mean you can manhandle her. If any of ya’ll start any funny business, you’ll have to answer to me. And Stone, of course.”

Hettie nodded toward the Last Chance chief of police, who stood to one side, arms across his chest, a Stetson on his head and a real badass expression on his face.

Caroline wanted to duck under the table and hide until it was over. Nothing good was going to happen here. She could feel it in her bones.

Hettie opened the bidding. Not too surprisingly, Bubba’s hand immediately shot up. “I’ll bid two hundred and five dollars on Rocky.”

Caroline’s stomach clutched. The crowd hushed.

“I bid two hundred and five dollars for Rachel,” Hugh said. A little smile on his face.

Huh? Where the hell did that come from? Everyone turned and stared at him. He smiled back. “What?” he said aloud. “She’s dishy.”

“Dishy?” Drew Polk, Rachel’s younger brother, asked.

“Well, I think you chaps would say she’s hot. Either way, she’s a very beautiful woman.”

Rachel beamed at Hugh.

Oh, great. Caroline didn’t want to think about the fallout when Rachel discovered that Hugh was about to go back to the UK and marry Lady Whatshername’s checkbook. The last time Rachel broke up with someone was three years ago. Her split with Justin had been legendary. Six years that jerk led her on and then finally told her he needed some space.

And Rachel was the marrying kind. She’d been so devastated she’d given up her job in Columbia and come running home to her momma. Where she’d been ever since.

Maybe this whole kissing thing would be okay for Rachel. Although Caroline didn’t really like the idea of Rachel kissing Lord Woolham.

“I’ll bid two hundred and ten for Rachel.” This came from Dash.

What the hell?

“I’ll raise you ten,” Hugh said.

“I’ll bid two-ten for Jessie Cooper.” This came from Roy Burdett, who was a married man and old enough to be Jessie’s father.

Hettie scowled at him. “Roy, you’ll do no such thing.”

“But—”

Hettie gave him the evil eye, and Roy shut his trap.

“Put me in for two-fifty for the lovely Ms. Polk,” Dash said.

A murmur went through the crowd. Caroline’s face started to burn. God was punishing her. No question about it.

“In that case, I’ll bid two-ten for Rocky,” Hugh said.

Caroline turned and stared at him. He looked deadly serious standing there, like a cardsharp with an addiction for gambling. And he’d called her Rocky. The sound of her name seemed to awaken her girl parts.

“You can’t do that. You’re bidding on Rachel.” Bubba turned around and glared at Hugh.

“I most certainly can, old boy. And besides it’s for a good cause.”

“You’re just jacking up the price, aren’t you?” Bubba grumbled.

“I might be.”

Bubba turned back to Hettie. “I’ll bid two-fifteen for Rocky.”

“Well, I’ll just put an end to this competition and bid five hundred for the lovely Miss Rocky Rhodes,” Hugh said, and somehow hearing her name in his accent was okay. Her name didn’t sound like a joke when he said it. It sounded sexy as all get-out.

“Hey, you can’t do that,” Bubba whined.

“Of course I can. It’s an auction. Get in there and bid. If you can’t afford Rocky, there are at least half a dozen other lovely young ladies available. Although given what you told me last night about Rachel, I’d say this was your golden opportunity. And besides, remember what I said about reverse psychology.”

Bubba nodded. “Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.” Bubba looked up. “I’ll bid two-fifteen on Rachel.”

The crowed ooohed and aaahed.

Caroline clutched Rachel’s arm. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. Better I should kiss Bubba than we should have to endure another episode in the Rocky and Bubba Show.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Honey, Bubba’s okay. He’s handsome and skilled at his job.”

“Of course, the missing front teeth are kind of a problem.”

“Those can be fixed.”

The bidding on Jessie Cooper heated up. Randy Kent finally went over the top with his bid of three hundred dollars.

The bidding seemed to be at its end, with only Rachel, Rocky, and Jessie going up for auction. Finally, Hettie turned toward Dash. “We’re waiting, Dash. You aren’t going to let his Lordship get away with Rocky now, are you?”

Dash shrugged. “You know, Hettie, I’ve got this feeling that no matter what I bid, his Lordship is going to raise it. I could jack up the price a little bit, but that would
probably demoralize Bubba. So I figure maybe the best thing all around is to snooker the outsider into giving us five hundred dollars cash money for the resurrection of the very thing he’s trying to destroy. I’d say that was a good afternoon’s work.”

He smiled his cowboy smile at Hettie and then turned toward Caroline. “I’m sure you know how to handle a dude like this if he gets uppity, don’t you?” Dash asked.

Hettie laughed out loud, and Caroline figured it may have been the first time she’d ever heard the Queen Bee of Last Chance laugh like that.

“Dash Randall, you have a devious mind,” Hettie said. She turned back toward the assembled crowd. “Do I hear any more bids? I believe Bubba has bid two hundred and fifteen dollars for Rachel, and his Lordship has bid five hundred for Rocky, and Randy has bid three hundred for Jessie. Going once, twice, all right then.

“Come on down here, gentlemen, and make your payments. We accept checks and credit cards. In the meantime, the rest of ya’ll can line up. All kisses are five dollars.”

It took a few moments for the transactions to be completed, but the crowd was waiting in anticipation.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss,” the chant went up.

Oh great, Caroline was never going to live this one down. What was it about the Watermelon Festival anyway? It was guaranteed to cause one embarrassing moment after another.

Randy Kent, who was the son of one of Allenberg’s contractors, pulled Jessie up from her seat, took her into his young, ripped arms, and kissed the dickens out of her. It was a good thing Doc Cooper wasn’t there to see that boy give his daughter’s backside the tiniest of squeezes.

“That’s enough, Randy,” Hettie said. Randy pulled away, and Jessie looked a little thunderstruck. He took her by the hand, and they walked away, heading in the direction of the Tilt-A-Whirl. Randy and Jessie were both juniors at Clemson. There was already talk about a wedding next June after graduation.

Ah, young love.

Now it was Bubba’s turn. He came over to where Caroline and Rachel were sitting. He gave Caroline a look that started out moony and then transformed into something else—a studied disregard. He turned toward Rachel and ducked his head in a bashful sort of way. He swallowed hard, like he was really nervous.

“Hey, Rachel,” he said. “I don’t think I can kiss too good.”

And Rachel, bless her heart, came to Bubba’s rescue. She stood up, looking as cute as a button in her girlish sundress, and took Bubba by the shoulders. She laid a big sloppy wet one right on the uninjured corner of his mouth.

The crowd when wild.

Bubba blushed. Rachel took him by the arm and half dragged him off in the direction of the fun house.

Wow! Maybe Dash had consulted with Rachel on the whole help-Bubba-move-on-with-his-life plan.

The crowd was hooting and hollering as Caroline turned back and looked right into the smoldering eyes of his Lordship, who was patiently awaiting his turn.

“May I?” he asked, just like a man asking for a dance.

He leaned in, and he captured her mouth in a tender and half-chaste kiss that rapidly morphed into a raging inferno.

His lips devoured, his tongue plundered, his arms captured her around her middle and pulled her up into his chest so that her bosom had no place else to go. Then he bent her backward in one of those clenches that were always prominently featured on the cover of romance books.

The Watermelon Festival faded into the background. The cheers and catcalls of the audience were drowned out by the roaring in Caroline’s ears. He tasted like every sweet, forbidden thing she’d ever eaten. She wanted to devour him, and damn the calories.

Something—probably the sound of her brother’s voice saying, “That’s enough now”—broke the spell. She pushed back. Hugh made sure she was semisteady on her feet before he let her go.

“Dash,” Hettie said as Hugh withdrew, “I think you may have seriously miscalculated.”

Caroline blinked a few times, taking in the suddenly quiet crowd, the stern look on Stone’s face, the open mouths of Millie Polk and Thelma Hanks, and the perpetual twinkle in Miriam Randall’s eye.