Last Chance Beauty Queen (19 page)

“Well, of course it isn’t, unless there’s a dead body. You haven’t found one of those, have you?”

“No. Only a rather eccentric gentleman with a miniature golf course, who is refusing to sell me his land.” He left out the part about Elbert’s dishy daughter.

“A mini-golf course?” Petunia said after a moment. “How utterly unexpected.”

“Yes, exactly. George seriously underestimated the difficulties involved in buying this piece of land.”

Petunia cleared her throat. “Pardon me, dear, but there was something a little dodgy about George. I’m terribly sorry that he bought it in that plane crash, but I think you may be well rid of him in the end.”

“Yes, well, he’s certainly created a problem for me here. I don’t think I can make a go of things unless I can convince Elbert Rhodes to sell me Golfing for God.”

“What?”

“Golfing for God. I’m afraid the mini-golf is themed on the Bible. The fiberglass statues are brilliant. Aunt Petal would love the Tower of Babel. For some inexplicable reason, the tower has balconies populated by an entire tribe of sprites, fairies, elves, and gnomes.”

“How delightful.”

“Yes, well it is rather,” Hugh said. “The place is currently out of business because of storm damage, but I asked Elbert to show me his business plan. I doubt he will. But it did occur to me that a mini-golf down at the nature center near Woolham House might be an additional source of income for us.”

“Hugh, that’s a marvelous idea.”

“Do you think Petal would allow us to move some of her little people from the garden?”

“Hmmm. Perhaps. If we asked her to help with the landscaping.”

“Well, it’s something to think about if things fall through here.”

“You sound worried.”

He sank back against the pillows. “I
am
worried,” he admitted.

“Just as I thought,” Petunia said in what Hugh always thought of as her no-nonsense voice. “I knew I needed to call you. The spirits were definitely telling me that you were in trouble.”

Hugh knew better than to say one word of challenge to Petunia’s spirit guides. The woman fancied herself some kind of witch or Druid or some such irrational nonsense. When Granddad had been alive, he’d kept Petunia in check. But after Granddad died, she’d come out, so to speak, telling the vicar that she was the lead witch in a Wiccan coven. That had not gone over very well in the village.

People had expected him to put Petunia in her place.

But how could he? He was only fourteen, and he loved Petunia. She had been the only real mother figure he’d known.

“So did your spirits give you any idea of how to get me out of my current predicament?” he asked. He didn’t really believe in her spirit guides, but out of kindness, he humored her.

“No. You know it doesn’t work that way. If you’re in trouble, it’s because you need to learn something. Tell me, what precisely is the matter?”

He took a deep breath. He would have to tell her
something or she would nag him to death. So he gave her an abridged version of the truth that included Elbert Rhodes and his angels, and Cissy Warren and her billions. He mentioned Caroline and her difficult situation, but omitted the bit about the swampland he had unwittingly purchased, as well as his moment of weakness when he’d kissed the dishy Miss Rhodes down by the river.

“Oh, dear, it is a muddle, isn’t it? Just like an Oscar Wilde play,” Petunia said when he was done.

“No, it isn’t.”

Petunia ignored his petulance and cut right to the chase. “So this Cissy person, you say she is wealthy?”

“Yes, very. Richer than Lady Ashton and not nearly as horsey.”

“Well, that
is
something, isn’t it?” Petunia paused for a long moment. It was, in every respect, a pregnant pause. Hugh tried to read this little hesitation and failed utterly. He wasn’t sure whether Petunia was suggesting he should pursue the cool and rich Cissy Warren, come home and marry Victoria, or continue on with his quest to build a loom factory.

“Yes, I suppose it is,” he said into the silence.

“And this Caroline? She sounds a sensible sort of girl, doesn’t she?” Petunia countered unexpectedly.

There was no mistaking the tone in Petunia’s voice. She had entered the nosy zone. He said nothing. He wouldn’t give up anything about Caroline or the way she looked like some otherworldly goddess and tasted like something from the land of faerie.

“And haven’t you put the poor girl in a bit of a situation?” Petunia said into the silence. Hugh heard the censure
in Petunia’s voice. She had lived with Granddad and knew all about his dalliances, too.

“I reckon I have,” he said.

“Hugh, dear, you need to be careful.”

As if he hadn’t already figured that out.

C
aroline uttered a filthy swear word as she hobbled up the walkway to Christ Church. Two hundred bucks she’d shelled out for these gently used Christian Laboutin numbers in an auction on eBay, and the heel on the left shoe hadn’t lasted the short walk from Momma’s house.

So much for her plan to appear strong, professional, and well put together for the confrontation she intended to have with Baron Woolham after services.

Caroline was angry at more than the shoe. She was furious with herself. Nothing rankled more than making a stupid mistake. She should have investigated Hugh’s financial situation before even embarking on this mission for Senator Warren. She had made an assumption, and she knew good and well that making assumptions was stupid.

Almost as stupid as allowing his Lordship to kiss her yesterday.

What had she been thinking?

Not anything rational, that was for sure.

Muffled organ music drifted on the warm summer wind when she finally pushed through the doors and into the vestibule at the back of the sanctuary. The air-conditioning hit her perspiration-damp blouse with the force of a blizzard. Holy smokes, someone had really cranked that thing up, hadn’t they?

The place was packed. Momma was there already, having left early to get Haley to Sunday School. She sat in a pew way up at the front with Lizzy beside her. There wasn’t any space for Caroline.

Dash was sitting on the other side of the aisle with his aunt. There wasn’t any space there either.

A quick scan of the congregation told her that Bubba was missing in action. That was probably good. She wouldn’t have to obviously cuddle up to Dash after services.

Rachel was there, sitting with her momma and daddy. She looked tired and hollow-eyed. The trouble at the chicken plant was really taking a toll on her, wasn’t it? And the poor thing had had to put up with Bubba last night. Caroline felt bad about leaving Rachel to deal with that problem on her own. No wonder she looked worn out this morning.

Boy, it was a good thing it was Sunday.

Because between the mistakes she’d made and the lies she’d told, Caroline needed all the forgiveness and divine guidance she could get.

Eugene Hanks, standing in the back and looking like the very definition of an usher in his blue suit, handed her the printed program for the day’s services. He gestured toward an open seat in the last pew. She took the program and slipped into place.

“Morning.” The greeting was whispered into her ear by a deep, masculine voice with an unmistakable accent. His breath simultaneously feathered across her face and torched her insides.

The Right Honorable Hugh deBracy, Baron Woolham, was turned out in his most impeccable tropical weight worsted. All that sartorial excellence made last night’s lust suddenly reappear.

Her face flashed red hot despite the subzero setting on the air-conditioning. She snuck a glance at him.

He was sneaking his own glance at her.

Uh-oh. Not good.

His eyes sparked with mischief as he handed her the hymnal, which was turned to the proper page for the first hymn of the morning: “Songs of Praise the Angels Sing.”

Oh, the irony. Clearly Hugh was enjoying the joke, judging by the semismirk on his lips. Caroline was not amused—at him or herself. She needed to get a grip on her hormones.

She took her side of the book and stood ramrod straight, looking ahead. They stood side by side, shoulders almost touching. She glanced down at the book and couldn’t keep her eyes off his long-fingered hands.

They were well shaped and sexy as hell.

But wait a minute, they didn’t look very aristocratic. His nails were cut to the quick, and his right thumbnail bore an unmistakable blood blister right in the middle, as if he’d banged it with a hammer or mashed it in something. That little imperfection was almost perfect. It made his hands look well used and competent.

Caroline battled an untimely case of dry mouth just as the organ music swelled and the time came to sing.

Songs of praise the angels sang,

heaven with alleluias rang…

The congregation broke into song. And Hugh sang along with them in the most amazing baritone. He didn’t swallow up the words either, but sang them out beautifully as if he was completely familiar with them. Which, on reflection, shouldn’t have surprised her. He was English, which probably made him an Anglican. And Anglicans were practically like Episcopalians. He certainly knew this hymn, that was for sure.

The hymn ended, and Reverend Ellis said the collect, and finally everyone was allowed to sit. The pews at Christ Church were not built for comfort, but this morning, Caroline’s discomfort had nothing to do with the hard oak under her backside.

Hugh deBracy sat slightly too close. His leg pressed against her skirt, and his shoulders took up too much space. He smelled good enough to eat, and as usual, Caroline had skipped breakfast and was ravenously hungry.

Reverend Ellis began to read the Gospel passage for the day from Mark 12:38–44, where Jesus tells his disciples to beware of the scribes who dress up in long robes and make a pretense of long prayers. Reverend Ellis got to the punch line of the story, where Jesus points out that the poor widow’s small gift was larger than the rich man’s, and Caroline’s empty stomach decided to make a comment. It emitted the deepest, most ferocious, and hugely embarrassing growl ever heard from the back pew at Christ Church. Heads turned. Lillian Bray glowered. Eugene Hanks cleared his throat.

Hugh came to her rescue. Darn him.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a partially
consumed packet of cheese crackers. He handed her one and took another for himself.

Lillian’s glare morphed into something more predatory. As if she had just nosed out a juicy bit of gossip—or perhaps some blasphemous activity—right there in the back pew of Christ Church.

Caroline downed the cracker and then tried to move away from Hugh a little bit. But the edge of the pew gave her limited space, and he kind of inched over in her direction.

She folded her hands in her lap and concentrated on Reverend Ellis, which was no mean feat. The minister was droning on in his aw-shucks manner when suddenly his words crept up on Caroline and bopped her one on the forehead.

“We are all a little bit like those scribes that Jesus warned us about,” he said. “We all work hard to keep up appearances. We dress up for church. We exercise for our health but we want to look good, too. We buy the best brands and work hard to make sure our houses show our best sides. Most of us, down deep, are fearful, uncertain, and imperfect.”

Uh-oh.

Caroline clasped her hands together and tried to breathe deeply as a strange sensation crept through her. She was fearful and uncertain and imperfect. That’s why she wore demure suits and designer shoes and made sure she never made stupid mistakes.

The walls closed in and a strange sense of panic made her shiver. And then, out of the blue, Hugh reached over and took her hand. The touch of his warm and rough fingers settled her right down in a strange and sexy way.
Hugh kept hold of her hand and ran his thumb over her skin, making heat out of the subzero temperature in the church.

She ought to pull away from him before anyone noticed that they were holding hands in church. She was supposed to be pretending to be in love with Dash. And besides, holding hands with him was not exactly in her job description.

Boy, she was in morally ambiguous territory all the way around. She squeezed Hugh’s hand. He squeezed back. And the sermon finally ended.

Everyone got up to say the Nicene Creed, and after that everyone had to kneel and pray for a while.

Caroline had a whole lot of things to pray about, most especially the future of Last Chance. She tried, very hard, to ignore the man kneeling next to her.

It was impossible. Her prayers had to include helping him find a source of cash so he could build his factory in some nonswampy location near Last Chance. In fact, Hugh deBracy was the centerpiece of her prayers that morning.

Before she knew it, she and Hugh were standing again, facing each other during the time where everyone greets everyone else. Hugh wished her God’s Peace.

She looked up at him, and it almost seemed as if she were seeing him for the first time. He said he came from a small town. He said he understood what it was like to live up to expectations. The gentle and kind gleam in his eye was nothing like the arrogant man he sometimes appeared to be.

He looked deep into her eyes. Not anywhere else, just her eyes, and Caroline knew he saw her. Not just the size
of her bust, or the fact that she was a country girl, or anything else. He really saw her.

Boy, that was refreshing.

But it was also a little bit frightening.

Her concentration was completely destroyed after that encounter. She went through communion, the prayer of thanksgiving, and the recessional hymn in a completely dazed and confused state.

Caroline managed to lose Dash about halfway through the fellowship hour. They’d had coffee, and he’d even given her a kiss on the cheek, right there in front of the entire congregation.

His kiss did not put a charge into any of her girl parts, though. It did make her blush, but only because the congregation was eating it up and she hated to think what was going to happen when she let them know it was all an act.