Last Chance (9 page)

Natalie

When we exit the exam room, I take a glance back at Liam who is walking slowly behind me. He isn’t happy. In fact he looks downright angry.

I check out at the window with the receptionist
, and make another appointment as Dr. Sovern suggested. She wants me to come back in eight weeks. At that time she will tell me how far along I am, and what my exact due date is. Possibly even the sex of the baby.

She acted like I should have been elated and comfortab
le with the idea. I am nineteen, a non-graduate and I live in a small apartment. The only thing I have going for me when it comes to raising a baby, is that I have Liam and Layla there for me, when I tell her, and that I have money.

“God fucking damn it Natalie! You and Ryan? What were you fucking thinking?” Liam screams at me. His anger barely hidden.

“Liam think about what you’re saying. You are pissed off. I get it. I understand why, but don’t say something now that you will end up regretting later. Choose your words wisely my friend. Think about what I am now having to face.”

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me. I have been with you every day for weeks
, and you didn’t think to tell me about any of this?”

“He and I aren’t going to be in a relationship
, so I didn’t think it mattered. It was one time, nothing more and it definitely isn’t going to happen again.” I say in defense.

“I don’t care if it isn’t going to happen again. I care that you tried ending your life
, and I think it had something to do with him. That you never once told me, in all of the time we have spent together. All of the conversations, you’ve never once mentioned it.”

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t think it mattered. I didn’t attempt to end my life just because of him. He wasn’t the only factor. My past is full of issues Liam
. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I wanted the pain to go away.”

“If there is one thing I can understand, its pain Princess. You could have come to me
. I would have taken you away. I was there for you then, and I am here for you now.” He pauses, thinking. “Does Layla know?”

My stomach is rolling and I feel lightheaded. The news I just got is shoving me to the cliff of having a panic attack. My hands are holding a grip on the rocks
, but all of the wind is loosening the hold I barely have.

If someone had asked me this morning if I thought that right here, right now
, is a situation I would have been in, I would have said no. This never crossed my mind. He wore protection. I remember it. I didn’t think I would have been a member of the one percent product faulty.

“Are you okay? Let’s get you to the car.” Liam says taking my hand.

Somewhere between the doctor’s office and the car, I stopped walking. My top half bent over, my hands on my knees. I didn’t realize I had stopped moving, so caught up in my thoughts.

“I need to sit.” I tell Liam on a gasp.

“Are you, are you having a panic attack?” Liam asks curiously, as he opens the passenger side door on Layla’s car.

“Yes.” I barely make out before I sit down and put my head between my legs. Hyperventilating, naus
eous, my body shaking.

I can’t not tell him. It wouldn’t be fair, to him or this baby. No matter what has happened between us in the past
we will have to find some middle ground, and as much as I would like to never see him or talk to him again, it is now no longer a choice.

I would love to stay in denial about being pregnant. Just pretend that it’s not real, go on with my life. Fuck.

“What?” Liam asks, while he’s hunched down in a squat before me.

My breathing has calmed a little
, but the shaking and nausea is still there.

“I don’t want this to be real.”

He just looks at me, not in judgment but in question.

“I can’t take care of myself as it is.” My voice breaks. “I am unstable, I am an emotional wreck Liam. How can I possibly take care of a baby?” 

“You’re seeing a counselor weekly, money isn’t a problem and if it was, I would be there to help anyways. Once you tell Ryan, you’ll have another person there, and Layla won’t leave your side. Fuck, the whole band will be there. You’re not alone in this.” Liam says trying to console me.

“Let’s just get home
, and we can talk about it there. I just want to go home.” I tell him.

I sit up and put my feet on the floorboard of the car. Liam shuts my door and walks around climbing in behind the steering wheel.

I turn the radio on, and crank the volume up.

Pearl Jam’s Just Breathe sounds out of the speakers
, and I laugh at the irony. The song is about being lucky to have someone, and that life moves on after loss. That’s all I want to do, just breathe through it all.

Liam

I have no idea who I am upset with the most; myself, for being so fucking blind or Natalie, for not confiding in me. I should have known something was up, when Ryan confronted me outside of Natalie’s hospital room. Or how the guys had told me he was reacting, while at the hotel awaiting updates on Natalie’s health. I wanted to talk to him, to tell him to keep his distance.

Natalie isn’t one to want attention, people fawning all over her
, and I knew he had some responsibility in why she was in the hospital in the first place. I could tell that when she recognized that it was Ryan wearing the woman’s getup, she hadn’t wanted him there.

I just let myself believe I was seeing things. I convinced myself that she just disliked him, that they didn’t mesh well. Maybe she had found out that he manipulated her Professor
, and that’s why she was on tour with us. Maybe it was his domineering personality. I made umpteen excuses inside of my head, of why she didn’t like him.

Initially he had set out to make an example out of her in front of an audience. That was our way. But then she became some sort of battle that Ryan had to win.
I’m pissed at Ryan for not telling me that he slept with her. When he staked claim, I had no idea that he had a reason behind it. I thought it was for another notch. A conquest. Not that he truly wanted her.

I’m upset with Natalie for not telling me. Every day I show her that I am there for her.
I am always by her side. She isn’t aware of my past, but narcotics are a rough subject for me.

My dad has always wanted me to become a commercial fisher, like him and his father before. I knew at a young age it wasn’t what I wanted, but I let him believe it was. He started training me early on in life for the career.

When I fell in love with music, not only with listening but wanting to make it, I knew at that moment music was my destiny. I earned cash and bought my first guitar, practicing whenever my father wasn’t home. I did what I was born to do. I didn’t want to stay in Alaska my entire life and fish. To say my parents were upset with my decision, is an understatement.

My mother was upset, but not as disappointed as my father. At sixteen he gave me an ultimatum. Carry on his name in the business or leave. I chose the latter. I didn’t want to leave but he gave me no other choice. That night I packed up some of my clothes into a backpack
, grabbed my guitar and left. Not before my mother slipped me some cash, of course.

It didn’t matter how upset she was with me of the decision, she still loved me. I left
, and didn’t look back for a couple of years. I traveled the country, until I met Ryan. When I met him I was addicted to some hard core stuff. I didn’t care about myself at all. I would sleep on a park bench, if that meant I could use what little money I had on pills.

Ryan saved my life. He gave me a place to stay
, and forced me to clean my ass up. Then the music rolled on for us. We worked harder than anybody that was out there in the industry at that time, and it paid off. Big Time.

With my past wars there was no way I was going to leave Natalie’s side.
I will try my best to hold her up when she can’t stand any longer, and to be the shoulder she rests on when she’s too tired. She may not have an addiction, but she has demons just the same.

Thinking of the new situation and how Natalie plans to handle it
, I hope like hell she tells him, and soon. When she tells him, he’s going to do anything and everything he can to win her and keep her by his side. With his past, there is absolutely no way he would never let her go through a pregnancy alone, nor would he let his child be raised alone.

Natalie

The drive back home that would normally fly by because of conversation, has been lagging. I can tell Liam is still upset at me. He’s trying to hide it, keeping his eyes on the road. His knuckles are white because he’s squeezing the steering wheel so tightly.

There is nothing I can do or say to make up for th
e fact that I hid it, but I had made up my mind long before I left the hospital that I wasn’t going to say anything, because I had thought there would be no chance that I would have to see Steele again. I knew that he would react this way and I can only surmise how Layla will respond.

She will pro
bably beg Liam for his address in California, and fly all the way there just to confront him. She’s always been a protector. Not just for me, but for anyone who needed protecting. She elected herself to be the defender of the broken.

It’s just I can’t believe the one time I let my guard down to a guy
, I end up pregnant. It’s not something I expected. I didn’t even know if I wanted children. Not that I have a choice now, because there is no question that I am keeping this child. With or without Steele being in his or her life, I will do whatever I can to provide the best life for this being inside of me.

**********

Liam pulls Layla’s car into the parking lot of our complex. I take a deep breath, gathering my bearings before I go upstairs. I know Liam will give me no other choice but to tell her today, probably as soon as we enter the apartment.

It’s not something I would ever keep from her
, but it would be nice to have a little bit of time to think about how I am going to break the shocking news. It’s not something I just want to spring on her. I have to tell her gently, or she may seriously hurt Steele. She may even want to harm Liam, because he’s Steele’s best friend.

Liam walks ahead of me, silently. I know he’s taking what I said earlier back at the doctors into consideration. To think before he speaks. But Liam keeping his mouth shut is only making me worry. As much as I want to hurt Steele
, I wouldn’t truly ever physically hurt him. Nor would I want anyone else to.

As we approach the entrance to the complex, Liam opens the door and because I am a distance away from him
, the door slams shut. I can see through the glass door that he is entering the elevator without waiting for me to join him. As I reach my hand out to open the door, I feel a hand reach around me and pull my body back against a large muscular body that belongs to the owner of the hand.

I can’t move my head
, because of the position in which I am being held, so I cannot tell who had a tight hold on me. I’m pulled backwards about ten feet, then one hand lets go of me and I take it as a chance to get away. I make a move to walk forward, and start pulling away.

As soon as I think I’m making headway in getting away from my attacker
, I’m suddenly shoved roughly into a car. I try reaching for the door handle to open the door, but it’s locked. I even hit the unlock button on the side panel, and the door still doesn’t budge. So I look up to see who threw me in this car with no intention of letting me out it. It’s none other than the last person I would wish to see right now, walking around the front of the car.

Steele.

He quickly gets in the driver seat and puts his seat belt on then proceeds to take off.

“What do you think you are doing?
Are you fucking crazy? You just attacked me.” I yell accusingly.

“Liam ignores me, you changed you
r number, and neither of you ever leave the house, so it’s not like I can just walk into your apartment and talk to you. I doubt you would, even if I managed to get ahold of you. So I did what I had to do. We need to talk.”

“So
manhandling me and kidnapping me is the right way to go about it?” I ask.

“
I didn’t manhandle you and I wouldn’t call this kidnapping. I just escorted you to my car. It’s not like I’m holding you hostage. Like I said we need to talk.”

“We have nothing to discuss
. You must be deranged. Dragging me to your car, when I clearly didn’t want to go, is kidnapping.” I try the door handle lever again. “You even child proof locked the doors, and you are still claiming to be sane?”

“Just relax we’re almost there and then you can say whatever it is you want to say. But when you’re done, you’ll let me speak and you will listen. Then
if you ask nicely, I’ll bring you back.” He tells me calmly. Not the least bit bugged by what he has done.

This man does not see reason.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Don’t worry about it. You’ll see when we get there.”

I feel like smacking myself in the forehead. I should have never allowed him to enter my hotel room. Fuck, I shouldn’t have allowed him in the bathroom on the tour bus either.

I should have just told the professor no. I could have taken the fail in his class
, and made it for it next semester. I would have had to work a little harder, but compared to this shit it would have been a walk in the park.

An hour later I am still steaming in anger.
At myself, for all of the foolishness I have allowed and at Steele, for being outlandishly senseless. My arms are crossed over one another, and I just want out of this car. When Steele pulls up to a large black wrought iron gate, he pulls the car up to a small electronic box placed a few feet before the gate, on the left side of the car.

He places the car in park
, and then rolls his window down. Steele reaches his arm out and punches in a numbered security code. The gate starts to slowly open. When it’s wide enough for the car to fit through, he begins to drive down a long and narrow paved road.

The road is surrounded by huge oak trees on both sides. The leaves
are in full bloom, and the wind is slight making the trees wave in a dance. It’s refreshing and beautiful. Even if I don’t want to see the beauty in it, I do.

A clearing in the trees opens
, and I can see a brick mansion style house. Old and rustic hidden within the trees. Steele parks out front of the house, shuts the car off and steps out walking around to my side, opening my door for me.

I want to sit here and refuse to get out, just to piss him off
, but that would be childish. I can either try to calm the water between us now by having this conversation with him domestically, or I can argue. In the end it won’t resolve anything.

I have to keep reminding myself about the baby
. The doctor estimated me to be about ten weeks pregnant, give or take a few days. But it’s a baby nonetheless. If I want a chance to have some kind of friendship between us for the sake of this child, our child, then I have to go about this carefully.

Refusing his hand
, I step out and shut the door.

“Where are we?” I ask politely
, trying to hide my anger.

“I thought I wou
ld set some roots of my own over here on the east coast. This is my newly acquired house. Initially I signed to lease it with an option to buy, but then changed my mind. I signed the papers a few days ago.”

“Why would you buy a house here?”
I ask disbelieving.

“Full of questions are we? How about I give you a tour
, then you can ask all the questions you want?”

“I guess.”
I say, not really thinking I have a choice in the matter.

The
red brick house is enclosed with a brown maple stained deck, wrapping all the way around. Steele steps onto the porch and walks to the main door, he unlocks it and holds it open for me to enter.

“This house has six bedrooms,
two of those are masters with three full bathrooms.”

“That’s a lot of unneeded room
, wouldn’t you say?” I ask.

“You can never have enough room. Plus I got this at a
practical price. It’s been sitting on the market for more than two years. The owners just wanted it off their hands. I did them a favor.” He says.

The room we walk into is the living area
. It’s enormous, with eight foot ceilings and ornate walls. There is a brick layered fireplace, matching the exterior of the home that is the centerpiece of the room. Oddly though, the room is bare, no furniture in sight.

“Where’s
all of your furniture?” I ask.

“I haven’t had a chance to go shopping to pick out
any furniture. Like I said, I only signed the papers a few days ago. Plus I have only been here now twice. I still have yet to do a complete tour myself. I think that should be a priority over furniture, as I need to know how much room I am working with.”

“Well it looks to be a
big house, seems like you’re going to be a busy man.” I comment.

“Maybe
if you had some free time, you could help me?” Steele asks.

“What? Why would I help you
furnish and decorate your house?”

“Well I would like to consider us friends after everythi
ng that has happened between us, and seeing as you’re the only friend I have that’s local, you would know where all the best stores are to get this stuff.”

“Again, I ask
, what would make you think I would help you? You really have lost it haven’t you?”

Acquaintances for a child’s sake are
one thing, but to become his personal shopper is another. No fucking way. I am not doing it.

“You know by coming here today
, I thought that maybe we could bury the hatchet.”

“I have no hatchet to bury with you.” I lie.

“Minx let’s stop dancing around this ever growing bush of bullshit. You ran from me. You ran from us. You had to have a reason for running so damn fast without speaking to me.”

“I ran because
after we spent a night together, I woke up in bed alone. When I went to find you, a sleazy woman answered your hotel room door. She made it pretty clear that she was far from done with you and I should wait in line, take a number so to speak. I am not a fucking number. You didn’t deserve a chance to speak.” I reveal.

I have a hell of a time controlling myself around him. I thought by not arguing and playing lapdog
, could possibly give us a chance at making amends with each other.

Nope.

He irks me and causes my temper to rise. Just remembering that woman who was in his room, causes me to feel the burn of jealousy. A burn I would rather not feel.

“You gave me your virginity!” He yells. “I think that gives me a right to explain myself. I never thought of you as a number, and I swear she and I did nothing.”
He argues back.

“I don’t believe you
, but it doesn’t matter. You don’t owe me an explanation, and you don’t have to explain yourself. I am okay now. I understand, it was just a night. One night. It didn’t affect either of us in any real way. So we should be able to easily move on and pretend it didn’t happen.”

“There is no way in hell I am going to pretend it didn’t happen.” He says stalking me.

I walk backwards to put some much needed space in between us, but of course he only walks closer. Something I should have seen coming a mile away, this is a pattern of his. He backs me into a corner until I give in. Step by step he cages me in. His body becomes a wall shielding me from the outside, making him my center. He leans forward and whispers.

“And I am not going to let you forget it either.”

The fight I had inside of me drains. It’s like my body is saying game over. He wins.