L'amore: The Luminara Series (16 page)

Reaching
Castello di Caruso
, I politely thank Marco. I’m embarrassed he’s had to witness another cold car trek home like that horrendous night in Tuscany.

I walk up to the house and dump my clutch on the sideboard mantel in the hallway then throw my shoes off.

“Can we talk properly now?” Lucca asks softly. I am glad he suggested it, because I expected to come home and have him try to distract me with his sexual talents and dismiss the talking all together.

“Okay, yes, I want to discuss this because it’s festering away at me. I need to understand. I need you to understand. I just feel—”

Before I finish, Lucca wraps his arms around me, cups my ass, and holds me close, kissing my temple, nose, cheeks, and lips then strokes my shoulders nuzzles against my hair.

This isn’t what I had in mind, but my body is betraying me. I sigh and relax under his gentle caress.

Fuck!

File T for traitorous. Traitorous body and mind.

“Lucca, I think we need to talk first,” I softly moan through heated determination trying not to crumble, fold, and melt.

I’m nearly there.

I am there.

I’m done for.

“Okay, yes, I agree. I just wanted to touch you to show that I love you. Let me get some water for us and ensure the doors are all locked. Go upstairs and I will meet you in the bedroom and we will chat. I just need to check a couple of emails. Doc, we will sort this out, and after we do, I am caressing and tenderly loving you all night long to reassure you what you mean to me,” he says, wiping underneath my eyes with the pad of his thumb before placing a final kiss on my lips.

I drop my hold on him but quiver from the loss of his touch, wanting more and looking forward to all night caressing. Like a physical prescription for the mind, it always makes me feel better.

I look down at him as I step on the first stair, and he lovingly smiles back up at me, but when he sees the hurt still written on my face he pinches his eyes closed for a moment with his own pain then looks up at me helplessly with nothing but complete love and devotion. I have faith we can work this out. We will need to come to a solution before I end up emotionally destroyed by these new self-doubts.

When I approach the bedroom, I notice a pair of black high-heels outside the door.

Not mine.

My stomach flips.

Opening the door, all I can smell is sweet perfume.

Not mine.

My stomach twists.

“About time. Fuck, Lucca, you know how to keep a girl waiting. I thought I’d drop by and surprise you since I’m in the area and you never answer my calls,” I hear a woman’s sassy voice. My first initial reaction is that it may be Kimberley because I’ve been thinking about her all night. Either way, I’m beyond furious and could not feel any more sickened.

I want to suffocate that sassy voice so tightly that she won’t get any other words out. Ever.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

My heart labours in my chest.

Fear.

Anxiety.

Paranoia.

Afraid of what I’m going to witness, I switch on the light. “What the hell?” I inwardly gasp with shock when I see a topless blonde in my bed with massive fake breasts, lace thong, and black silk stockings writhing around on the sheets with one wrist handcuffed to the bedpost.

My goddamn sheets! My bedpost!

My heart!

Oh dear Lord, please just take me now because my heart can’t handle the trauma. I clench my hands into fists and straighten my spine. “What they hell are you doing in my bed?” I ask, raising my voice.

“Your bed? It’s our bed for tonight, sweetie. You’re not my usual third, but if Lucca picked you, I suppose you’re different and could work for me. Hurry up and get stripped, join me. He can watch, then I'll see to him, and you see to me. I’ve never had anyone so pretty and pure.” She looks me up and down licking her lips lasciviously. “I could definitely get off with you, and teach you a few things while I’m at it. You look innocent, honey. Are you any good at oral with women? I can teach you a few things.” The room begins to spin and my legs almost give way.

Bitch.

Whore.

Slut.

How dare she? How dare he? Is this the life he had before me? It would explain why he has conquered so many women in his time; maybe he fucks two a night. The thought makes me sick.

While she rubs her free hand over her breasts, teasing her nipples and licking her pouty, dirty lips, I almost vomit. I don’t know what to say. I’m disgusted, angry, and fuelled with rage. How the hell did she get in here? Is this really the past Lucca had before me? Sharing himself with more than one woman at a time? I can’t process and I’m repeating the same questions over and over in my mind.

“Get out!” I shout.

“Oh, a feisty one. The quiet ones have all the fire and passion. Strip.”

Is she for fucking real?

She doesn’t move, she just grins seductively as she slithers around.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

“Get out of my fucking bed! Who do you think you are breaking in here? You make me sick. Get out! Get out! Get out!” I scream then clench my jaw.

“I think you should let Lucca decide that, don’t you? He never turned me away the last time.” She smiles, her lewd, green eyes glazed with depravity, pouty lips smirking.

Bitch!

Tears stream from my eyes, stinging my already raw cheeks. “I swear to God, I’ll drag you out of here myself. I don’t know who you think you are, but this is my home. Get out! WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE!” She doesn’t budge.

The fire erupts and I can’t help myself. I pick her clothes off the floor and throw them at her and storm over to the bed and grab her free hand, yanking her off my bed, but I forget about the handcuff. She cries out then screams at me as her attached hand tugs hard and the cuff rattles against the headboard. With her free hand she pushes me away from her, and I stumble back right into Lucca’s burly chest, taking her clothes with me to scatter at my feet. He has heard the screaming and has barged in the room. He protectively wraps his arm around me and helps me balance.

“What the fuck? What the fuck are you doing in our bed?” he rants his face screwed up as if he is disgusted. I have never heard him shout so loud or so vehemently. His eyes gloss over her then he tsks with disgust and turns around to face me. “Get yourself fucking dressed.” He orders but doesn’t look back over his shoulder. He mumbles and curses then softens his voice and tries to reach to cup my face to look at me.

I must look like a deer caught in head lights because I simply can’t understand this mindfuck. Stepping back, I throw my hand over my mouth and almost retch against my palm.

Lucca’s eyes flare with fear, with panic. “No, baby, this is not what you think. I had no idea. She has broken in. I have not seen this woman in over a year. This has nothing to do with me. I have been with you all night.” He tenses and runs his fingers through his hair. So he does know who she is and has history with her. That is all I need to hear to finish me. I’m destroyed.

History.

Fucking history.

Here we go again!

“Earlier when I said you had a colourful past, I had no idea it was so vivid! You really surprise
and
hurt me at every turn.” Tears stream down my face, and I use my hand to wipe under my nose. Why I’m still standing here is beyond me. Lucca pulls me into him to try and soothe me. He hears the fury and crackle in my voice and unlike earlier when the fire was lighting, now my voice is blazing. Meanwhile, sassy slut probably loves the show we are both putting on no doubt.

I push him away. “Don’t you fucking touch me!” I scream at him.

“No, Lexi, no this is not what you think. I am every bit as shocked and angry as you. She needs to get the fuck out of here and we need to talk. Christ, I cannot believe I am hurting you again and not on purpose, dolcezza. I fucking hate this, hate tonight, hate myself. Lexi, please, baby. It shreds me that again you are hurt. Jesus … I …” He sounds broken. I’ve heard this tone before.

“We … do … not … need … to … do …anything!” I babble and curse while poking him in his chest with my finger. He doesn’t flinch. He stands with his eyes pressed closed and lets me have my outburst, prodding and pressing his chest, but he’s strong and barely moves. “I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t take it.”

At my declaration he opens his stormy eyes, silently he pleads with me. He’s torn and hurt himself. It’s not enough. I can’t forgive him for this. He reaches for my wrist when he sees me shift to move away from it all.

“Get her … out of my fucking bed! I’m not going to ask again.” I’m hysterical, shaking and feeling sick and dizzy, holding my finger up, warning him, ready to storm out.

“I told you to get dressed. Do it now, so fucking help me God!” he shouts over his shoulder for her benefit with a deep growl in his throat, whereas he was softer and considerate talking to me.

“The key for the cuff is in my jeans pocket. I can’t exactly reach them.” It’s
her
sassy voice. She tugs the cuff to remind me. I look down at my feet and her jeans are on the floor where they fell. I pick up her jeans and throw them at her again, making sure they smack her right in the face, but sigh when the key falls out the pocket and onto the carpet somewhere under the bed and I’m not about to get on my hands and knees to look for it.

He reaches to cup my face and winces when I jerk back. “Come here, you need to calm down, let’s get out of this room and talk. Please, baby? You said you trusted me. Let me make this right. I am hurting for you, Lexi, and I feel like shit. This is the last thing I want you to see. I cannot stand seeing you like this,” he begs.

Good, and so he should feel awful because that’s nothing in comparison to how I feel right now. I feel shattered into a million pieces.

Trust? I don’t know what to believe anymore; finding someone naked in my bed doesn’t really fit well in my definition of trust. “Why don’t you save your breath. I feel sick and I’ve had enough. I was hurt, Lucca, really hurt earlier with Kimberley, but this is
unbelievable
. Do you know what? Sort out your own fucking mess. Un-cuff her and get her out of here, or do what you want with her,” I cry louder, holding my finger up in front of his face and having to push him hard before he takes hold of me to calm me because I know that’s what he’s twitching to do.

Not that I want Lucca to have to turn around and see her exposed body again, but I’m certainly not helping.

“Forget her. Come to bed and let the little prude watch and learn how a real woman satisfies a man like you.” She flicks her hand at me dismissively, her words hitting every insecurity I have. The sound of the handcuffs clinking against the headboard goes through me like fire, memories flash behind my eyes.

Wrists restrained by metal cuffs, blood dripping from her wrists and ankles, and the sheet between her legs stained with blood.

Her insult is the last straw. Lucca tells her to shut her fucking mouth, curses, and turns to look for the key.

I shake my head trying to dislodge the images in my head. Disgusted, devastated, and demolished.

Fuck!

File D for disappearing. Disappearing away from this nightmare.

That’s exactly what I’m doing. While he searches for the key, I turn and leave.

I storm out the room, pick one of her heels up, and throw it back against the door. I stomp quickly downstairs passing Rose on the way down. “Lexi, petal, is everything okay? I heard screaming, what’s going on? Are you okay, sweetheart?” Rose asks alarmed, looking at the state of my tear stained face.

“Rose, call the police, someone has broken in!” Rose flees upstairs quickly when she hears Lucca shouting for her help. At least he has the sense to shout for Rose to take care of the naked slut and ensure she gets out.

I don’t stop. I continue down stairs, grabbing my clutch and leaving the Givenchy shoes. Walking out, I press the code for the front gate, and I’m thankful that Peter and Doris are nowhere in sight. I know Lucca won’t be far behind me, so I do the only thing that makes sense to me when I react to pain and suffering, the only thing that has ever kept me safe … I run.

It’s fairly light outside and the streetlights are lit, so I know I’ll be fine until I can stop a taxi. Adrenaline and anger have my heart pumping as I run barefoot. I run and run, fuelled with rage. It’s second nature, running barefoot. I did it for the first nine years of my life when I was incarcerated. I’ve run in worse conditions; it doesn’t faze me in the slightest.

I’m aware it’s not that far until my own house, but Anna will be there and I don’t want to face her again tonight. I just need to run somewhere else. Run away from the hurt and the excruciating reality of tonight, so while my blood is boiling and my heart is crushing, I irrationally decide to run to Jessica’s house even though it’s late, it’s the next closest house.

Steve is working away on the oil rigs offshore of Aberdeen, so she’ll be alone. She’ll understand, and I know she won’t tell the other girls of my predicament if I ask her not to.

I run and run as best as I can with a ridiculous cocktail dress on and barefooted, trying to stay away from the main roads in case Lucca follows me. My feet are numb and only just recovering from the running expedition I’d endured in Tuscany down the dark rough country road, but blocking out the pain, I really don’t care about the soles of my feet. My heart is more important, and I can’t stay there, not with that slut in my bed.

I feel sick.

By the time I reach Jessica’s home, I’m a mess. The shaggy bun of my hair has long lost its style, and my wet curls cascade down my back, sticking to my damp shoulders and face. I hang onto the front step—sore, tired, and gasping for air. Just as I lean to rattle the front door, I hear a car quickly brake behind me.

Lucca throws open the car’s passenger door and runs towards me. He scoops me up and carries me towards the backseat of the car. I try and wriggle as I’m not ready to go home with him.