Lakeside Romance (17 page)

Her eyes darted around the room, searching for an escape. Someone from behind gave her upper arms a gentle squeeze and whispered in her ear, “Sarah.”

Recognizing Alec's voice, she turned, buried her face into his chest and mumbled into his shirt.

He lowered his head. “What was that?”

“Get me out of here. I need some air.”

Alec wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her to his side while fighting his way through the maze of tables covered with white tablecloths and decorated with clear vases filled with wildflowers. He led her out the back door into a private parking lot. The heavy steel door closed behind them, shutting out the din of conversation and music.

He pulled out his keys and unlocked his car. Opening the passenger door, he guided her onto the leather seat.

She pressed her head against the back of the seat, suddenly feeling a little foolish. She drew in several deep breaths, and the screaming in her head quieted down.

Alec squatted beside her and brushed her hair off her cheek. “You okay?”

She nodded, but didn't open her eyes. “I've never had an anxiety attack in public, but all of a sudden I felt trapped.”

“Like you were back at the center?”

“Yes.”

“You need to see someone. You don't want that traumatic experience haunting you.”

“Talking from experience?”

“Something like that.”

Sarah turned her head and looked at him. She hadn't seen him in over a week. The same lines creased his forehead. His eyes reminded her of her favorite worn jeans. His hair had been cut recently. He looked the same, yet something was different. He seemed less...wired...more peaceful than she'd ever seen him.

Or maybe her head was messing with her again.

He traced her jaw with his index finger. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly?”

“Of course.”

“Tired. Very tired. Every time I try to sleep, I hear the crash, smell the smoke, feel the flames. I was so scared.” Her voice caught in her throat as she forced back the pressure building behind her eyes.

“Come here.” Alec slid his hands under her arms and practically lifted her out of the car. He pulled her into his embrace and tightened his arms almost as if he was afraid to let her go. He kissed the top of her head, then whispered into her hair, “Thank God, you're safe, Sarah.”

She wanted to melt into his arms and allow his strength to support her, but her heart cried out at his nearness, knowing they couldn't be together. She'd be leaving soon. But for a moment, she breathed in his closeness, memorizing the way they fit together so perfectly.

If only.

Chapter Seventeen

“W
hat's going on, Alec?” Gently Sarah stepped away from him, suddenly feeling cold and missing him even though he was only a foot away from her.

“With what?”

She waved a hand toward the building. “With this. The dinner.”

Alec scrubbed a hand over his face. “There's a lot I need to say to you, but not here...not like this. I know you're exhausted, but promise me we can talk later.”

“I don't know if that's a good idea.”

“Please, Sarah, it's important.”

“Answer one thing.”

“Anything.”

“Where were you? Did this summer mean so little to you that you couldn't even check to make sure I was okay?” She didn't mean to blurt it out like that, to expose the vulnerable side of her heart, but the question weighed so heavily that she needed to ask it or sink under the weight of it.

Alec stepped forward and crushed her to his chest. “Oh, my sweet Sarah, nothing could be further from the truth. I nearly lost it when I learned you were trapped in that building. My worst nightmare happening all over again, and I was helpless. I didn't come to see you because I had to take care of some unfinished business. That's what I need to talk to you about. Will you come to my place after the dinner so we can talk?”

The idea of talking when she knew it couldn't change anything had her hesitating. “I don't know, Alec.”

“Please, Sarah. I really need you to hear me out.” Desperation fringed the edges of his throaty voice.

She wrapped her arms around her waist and dropped her voice to nearly a whisper. “And I really needed you there for me.”

“I know. And I'm sorry. If you listen to what I have to say, then maybe you can forgive me.”

She sighed. “Okay, fine.”

“Thank you.” He brushed his lips across her temple, then rested his forehead to hers. “I missed you. So much.”

She missed him, too, but she stayed quiet. Otherwise, walking away from him was going to be harder than ever. She'd hear him out tonight, but she'd have to pray for strength to stand against his wish for them to be together.

The back door flung open.

Alec dropped his hands and stepped away from her as Chloe stepped outside. “Hey, you two. The party's inside. Everyone's asking about Sarah, including a friend of yours... Jonah?”

Sarah's hand flew to her mouth. “With everything happening, I forgot he was coming.” She looked at Chloe and smiled. “Thanks. Will you tell him I'll be right there?”

“Sure thing.” She disappeared back inside.

Sarah turned to follow, but Alec grabbed her hand. “Sarah, wait. Jonah's your friend who's the mission director, isn't he?”

“Yes, he called the other day to ask if I'd made a decision.”

“Have you?”

“Not yet. I invited him to come to the dinner before everything fell apart.”

He enveloped her hand between his. “Please don't commit to anything until after we talk.”

“I won't.”

“Good.” Alec released her hand, then opened the door so they could slip back inside.

She greeted Jonah with a hug, but before she could introduce him to anyone, Amber, Garrett, Daniel, Toby and the other teens dressed in black pants, white shirts and white aprons rushed to greet her.

Amber threw her arms around her, nearly hitting Garrett in the eyebrow. “Miss Sarah, we're so glad you're safe. We've been like praying and stuff.”

She gathered them into a group hug. “Thanks, you guys. Now can someone tell me what we're celebrating?”

Daniel frowned. “You don't know?”

“Not a clue.”

“It's our community dinner.”

“But how?”

Garrett jerked a thumb over his shoulder to where Alec leaned a shoulder against the wall, watching them. “Mr. S. is da man. He helped us pull it off.”

“Alec did this?”

“We all pitched in, but it was definitely like his idea and stuff.” Talking over each other, they told her about their talk with Alec, the way they'd divided into teams and how he'd made everything come together.

The more they talked, the more her heart stretched until she felt as if it would explode. From the time she'd met him, she'd prayed he'd be able to cast aside his prejudices to see what great kids they were. It appeared God had answered her prayers.

Sarah glanced over to where Alec had been standing, but he wasn't there. She scanned the crowd, spotting Stephen and Lindsey Chase talking with Nick and Josie Brennan and Ian and Agnes James. She waved to Gran and blew kisses to her nieces, Ella and Ava.

But still no Alec. She'd find him later and express her deepest appreciation.

Ella and Ava, dressed in matching multicolored polka-dot sundresses and white sandals, raced across the room, waving papers and calling her name. “Auntie Sarah, we made you cards.”

She bent down and gathered them to her chest, inhaling the sweet scent of their shampoo. Tears pricked her eyes again when she thought about how she might have lost them forever. She needed to stop thinking that way. She was safe. She sniffed and smothered their cheeks with kisses. “Hey, my cutie patooties, how are you doing?”

“We made you cards,” Ella repeated.

“That was so sweet of you. How about if we go and sit so I can read them?”

The girls scampered ahead and Sarah followed. After giving Zoe a quick hug, she sat between the girls and made noises of appreciation over the cards. Caleb hadn't been kidding about the glitter or stickers.

“Excuse me. May I have your attention?”

Sarah pulled her gaze away from the girls to find Daniel standing near the food tables, his cheeks as pink as her sundress. “On behalf of our summer outreach program, we want to say thanks for coming and supporting us. And thanks to the Shelby Lake Community Church for believing in us. But we'd especially like to thank Sarah Sullivan and Alec Seaver for teaching us that cooking is more than making food.” Daniel paused and pulled an envelope out of his back pocket. “If Sarah and Alec will come here, we have a small gift of appreciation for them—a gift card for dinner at the Lakeside Lodge.”

Sarah blinked back tears as she made her way to Daniel and gave him a quick hug. “Thanks, you guys, but this was totally unnecessary.”

“You've given us so much this summer that we wanted to give something back.”

Sarah wiped wetness from the corner of her eye with her index finger. She didn't need to talk with Alec before giving Jonah her decision.

Shelby Lake was her home. She couldn't leave. Even if the church board didn't agree to continue the program, God had a plan for her. She'd simply have to trust Him to work everything out. He'd be with her no matter what happened.

* * *

Alec couldn't have asked for a better evening.

The dinner had been a success. Their friends and family had raved about the teens' skills and, thanks to Billy's connections, the event had been picked up by the local media.

With the clock creeping toward midnight, he unlocked his front door. Eliza greeted him by bounding toward him and dancing around in circles until he picked her up.

He kicked off his shoes and stretched out on the couch with the dog on his chest licking his chin.

The doorbell rang, sending Eliza sailing off the couch and barking like a fluffy ball of terror. Alec's heart picked up speed as he moved to his feet.

Please, God, help Sarah see I'm the right one for her.

Blowing out a breath, Alec scooped up the pup and opened the door.

Sarah stood under the glow of the porch light. She had changed out of her dress into denim shorts and a white T-shirt. “Hey, you. Come in.”

“Thanks.” Stepping inside, she avoided his eyes. Instead, she lifted Eliza out of his arms and buried her face in the dog's fur. “I missed you so much.”

What about him? Had she miss him? Even a little?

Eliza replied by licking Sarah's neck. She laughed—a sound that sent his heart skipping across his ribs.

Alec gestured toward the couch. “Have a seat. Would you like some iced tea?”

“Sure, that sounds great.”

The temperature in the room seemed to have cooled a bit since Sarah had stepped into his house. Was he wasting his time trying to talk to her? She needed to hear what he had to say, but it seemed as though she'd built a wall between them. He had no one to blame but himself. Hopefully, though, he could also be responsible for tearing it back down.

He headed into the kitchen, filled two glasses with ice, reached for the pitcher of tea then stopped.

What was he doing?

He set the glasses on the counter, strode into the living room, scooped Eliza off Sarah's lap and set her on the couch. Taking Sarah's hand, he pulled her up gently and into his arms. He caressed her bruises and brushed a faint kiss over her cheeks. “You are so beautiful.”

Her eyes searched his face, but she remained silent.

He slid her hair behind her ear. “I waited all evening to do this, and I can't wait a second longer.” Alec cupped her face and stroked her incredible cheekbones with his thumbs. Her lips parted slightly as she looked up at him. He lowered his head and kissed her.

Slowly her arms curled around his neck. Her fingers toyed with the hair at his nape. He stifled a shiver.

Cradling her against his chest, he never wanted to let her go again. Her silky hair brushed against his chin. He drew in a lungful of air, breathing in her fragrance, which offered a soothing balm to his soul.

Drawing back, he looked into her eyes. “Sarah Sullivan, I love you.”

She opened her mouth, but Alec pressed a finger to her lips. “Before you say anything, please hear me out.”

He sat on the couch and pulled her down beside him. For the next half hour he shared about the fire's aftermath—reading Justin's letters, crying out to God and ending up at Nate's place. He told her about Chloe and Jane Lynn cleaning out Christy's Closet. “I couldn't have done any of this without you, Sarah, and for that I'm grateful. I love you.”

Sarah's eyes glistened. Instead of replying with the three words he longed to hear, she reached over and stroked Eliza's fur. Then she dropped her gaze to her lap and picked at her reddened, broken fingernails damaged from trying to pry the storage room door open.

Was he too late? Or maybe she'd never felt the same way about him. If that was the case, then he'd just made a huge fool of himself. No, he refused to believe that. He had a pretty good read on people when his judgment wasn't clouded.

Sarah cared for him.

He couldn't take it anymore. He tipped her chin up to meet her eyes. “Say something, please.”

She took his hand in hers and stroked his fingers, one by one. “I'm trying to process everything you shared.” She looked at him with eyes that sparkled like morning dew on the grass. “I'm so happy for you, Alec. I truly am. When I saw you at the dinner tonight, something about you seemed different, and now I know why.”

He appreciated her words, but he sensed they were about to be punctuated with a
but
.

“But...”

There it was.

He wanted to jump in and reassure her nothing stood in their way. Instead of speaking, he stayed quiet and waited for her to speak her mind.

“My life is going to be changing in a big way. I've decided to adopt Daniel and Toby, so I come as a package deal. We're all going into therapy. The boys are still grieving the loss of their parents and their grandma. I'm having nightmares about the fire. Truth is, we're a mess. I can't ask you to take that on just as you're coming out from under your own trials.”

“A while ago, you suggested I talk with someone about my PTSD. I have an appointment next week. Dr. Wheeler is a Christian counselor.” Alec slipped his wallet out of his back pocket, pulled out a business card and handed it to her. “If you're looking for suggestions, consider his practice.”

“Thanks.” She smiled and cupped his cheek. “I'm so glad for you. I know you'll do well. But are you really sure you're ready to commit to someone else? What about the boys?”

Alec laced his fingers through hers. “I promise there's no resentment of any kind. I realize now that Justin was a broken kid, not the norm. I told you before, but I'll say it again—Christy was my first love, and she will always hold a special place in my heart. But there is a crazy amount of room for you. And finally, no matter what the church board decides, the outreach program will continue.”

“How so?” She frowned.

Alec grinned, finally thrilled to release the secret he'd been holding for a few days. “I now own the building where Christy's Closet used to be—I bought it from Gran. After Christy's death, I banked her life insurance money. I've talked with Nick Brennan about setting up a foundation...kind of like what he did after his daughter Hannah's battle with leukemia. The program will be funded from that money. I want to be there for you, Sarah—mess and all. We can take things as slow as you'd like. Let me prove to you how much I love you.”

“You don't have to prove anything to me, Alec. Your word is more than enough.” Sarah pulled her fingers away from his, pressed a hand against his chest and rested the other one on his shoulder. His heart pounded beneath her palm. Her gaze tangled with his. He stopped breathing momentarily as a sweet smile spread slowly across her face. “I love you, and I look forward to seeing what plan God has for our lives together. Now kiss me again.”

Alec obeyed immediately. Picking her up, he crushed her to his chest and spun her around. A startled laugh burst from her lips—a sound he hoped to hear every day for the rest of their lives.