Ladle Rat Rotten Hut (9 page)

“It’s Neverland, my Queen,” I plastered a fake smile on my
lips. “Wonderland is someone else’s department. What's with everone confusing
his roles today?”

“Wonderland, Neverland, and Disneyland. They are all
childish names for places I hate the most,” She said. “Now listen, I need you
to tell me what every item means to you.”

“Hmm. Did you say that each item belonged to a fairy tale
character?”

“That’s what I think,” She pointed at the breadcrumbs. “Who
do you think the breadcrumbs belong to?”

“That’s a silly question, my Queen. Where there are
breadcrumbs, there are Hansel and Gretel.”

“And a witch.” The Queen said.

“And a witch,” I agreed. This woman thought everything
over. I always thought she could use a weekend in the sun and do something
nerdy, so she would relax. The thought made me remember Count Dracula playing
Zombie Attack on my Xbox inside the chamber. I wondered if he broke my high
score record. I killed 4000 zombies with one thumb once. “But why would a witch
help Snow White?”

“Good point.” She said.

“Besides, weren’t you the witch in the Hansel and Gretel
thing? I’ve always thought all bad characters were only a personification of
you.” I started chewing a peach-flavored gum. I liked those.

“Funny funny,” She mocked me. Finally, she didn’t neglect
my sarcasm. “So you know where Hansel and Gretel are, or if they still know
who
they are?”

“It’s going to be hard to find Gretel. She’s been into
witchcraft herself, and probably lives with some Voodoo cult or something. As
much as I love her, she’s become pretty cuckoo in the head lately. I guess that
after she had saved her brother from the witch, she lost it.”

“And Hansel?”

“I don’t think Hansel is one of them. He is a dependent and
useless boy who is hungry all the time. Had his sister not been saving him
repeatedly, he would have been dead by now. Believe me, the breadcrumbs belong
to Gretel. She was obsessed with Snow White when we were in school. She adored
your daughter. But I can’t help you with finding her.” I said, checking my watch.
It was almost midnight. I had an appointment with my love at midnight, but I
wouldn’t tell the Queen.

“And the fork?” The queen held a silver fork in front of
her. It was rather fancy for a sixteen-year-old fairy tale character.

“Where there is a fork, there is a devil.” I mused,
intentionally turning my Auburn eyes into black.

“You don’t scare me, Peter. Try that with the kids you
kidnap every night.”

Her words made me look over her shoulder in the direction
of another chamber in my castle, next to the one where I locked Count Dracula.
It was where I kept the kids locked in a cage. In a couple of days, these
homeless kids will be sent to Neverland. If the real world was tough on them,
it was time they enjoyed the other wonderful realms in Dreamworld. “I have a
Neverland to build,” I winked at her. “It needs a lot of kids.”

“Whateva,” The Queen waved her hands in the air, showing
expensive bracelets and jewelry wrapped around her wrist. “So you seriously
think the fork belongs to a devil?”

“Or a devil’s son,” I raised a single eyebrow. “Or
daughter, or even his cook will do. How the hell should I know? Did you ever
meet a devil in a fairy tale?"

“It depends on what fairy tale you are talking about. The
true ones or the false?”

“In that case, I can’t help. You will have to dig deeper in
the matter. And what is that?” I picked up one of the seven items: a plate.

“This one is most confusing,” She said. “I don’t remember
the significance of a plate in any of the tales. Do you have a clue?”

“Of course,” I said as I took out the gum from my mouth and
glued it to the plate. I had no idea why I did that, but it seemed like a cool
thing to do. Gums, if not in your mouth, belonged on plates or the  wood of
your desk at school. “NOT!”

“Don’t vandalize the plate,” The Queen looked irritated.
“These items are worth millions. If I can’t find the Lost Seven, I can bargain
with higher demons in the Dreamworld with these items.”

I jumped off my desk and stretched out, neglecting her
obsession with controlling everything. I put my hand behind my neck and
stretched out my body, showing off the beauty of my lean and slender curves,
wanting to get her attention. She really made me want to grow up. But then, I
had to resist growing up. Growing up sucks. That’s why I never liked our
meetings. She messed with my head.

To clear my head, I had to occupy myself with something, as
she kept asking questions. I clapped my hands twice, and the dim lit hall of
the castle shone brighter with magical fireflies, tons of them. The queen
squinted at the sudden brightness in the hall.

“Hunchy,” I summoned. “Basketball, please.” I demanded.

“What? You have a basketball court in the Dracula mansion?”
She looked insulted, reminding me of parents always being mad at their children
for just being children.

A rainbow-colored basketball came dribbling out of the dark
towards me. Hunchy couldn’t help but add some creepy and scary atmosphere.

“Continue, my Queen. I am all ears.” I said, dribbling the
ball. It was a magic basketball. It made no sound.

The Queen sighed impatiently, but she knew that I didn’t
care. If I got bored, I had to find something to play with. “All right. What
about this piece of wood I found along with the items in the cottage. It looks
like it’s part of a chair.”

“Where there is wood, there is a woodpecker.” I said.

The Queen looked puzzled.

“I am just joking,” I swooshed the ball in. “Frankly. I
don’t know. However, this piece of wood doesn’t look like it belongs to a chair
to me. It looks like someone’s nose.” I winked at her.

“What? No way. Pinocchio is not even a fairy tale
character.”

“He is not even human if you ask me,” I flew high up the
ceiling and landed down with another swoosh. I tried not to show off with my
flying abilities too much. It made two-legged human uncomfortable. “I got you
again, my Queen.” I winked at her.

“This isn’t funny, Peter,” She gritted her teeth. “I need
to have at least one clue to start from. What about this mug? And don’t say
it’s the holy grail.”

I stopped the ball, looking at the mug. It was a glass mug,
and it definitely caught my attention. “A glass mug,” I recited, rubbing my
basketball.

“So you’re thinking what I am thinking? Cinderella?”

“Not everything that is glass is Cinderella,” I said. “Her
item should be a glass slipper not cup. But it still looks suggestive to me.”

“I always knew that this little peasant girl had something
to do with my daughter.”

“Even though it does not make sense that Cinderella was one
of her friends in the cottage, I heard that you actually manageded to kill her
in the Dreamworld.”

“I did,” The Queen mused proudly. “But someone is bringing
her back.”

“How is that possible? I understand that once an immortal
is killed in the Dreamworld, they can’t be resurrected.”

“It’s true, but there is a nagging human girl who found out
a way to rebirth the dead.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, Pete,” She sighed impatiently. “Somehow,
this nagging girl entered Cinderella’s mother Dreamworld and replayed the birth
scene again so that Cinderella is reborn from dreams.”

“Cinderella has a mother?” Ok. That was a shallow question.
“So tell me how this works?”

“Every hundred years when we surface to the real world, we
could trick each other into playing the old tales again. If done right, you can
bring the tale upside down, which means if Cinderella was dead, and you entered
a certain dream and manipulated her mother into rebirthing her, she becomes
alive.”

“Oh,” I scratched my temple. “You mean the Dreamworld is
like a movie scene that you can replay every one hundred years?”

“Close,” She nodded. “And if you play the cards right, that
movie becomes the truth for the hundred years after.”

“Pretty damn confusing, I must say.”

“Do you understand why I am looking for the Lost Seven now?
If I find them before Snow White does, I can rewrite the new truth in the
Dreamworld my way. So, do you still think this is Cinderella’s mug?”

“Second thoughts, it’s doesn’t have to be?” I dribbled and
walked closer to her. “I think it is not about the mug. It’s about what was
in
the mug.”

The Queen’s face shone brighter. “That’s the first thing
you say that makes sense. The mug might have been filled with a potion, a
drink, or any other item that could lead me to its owner. But how can I know?”

“Can’t help you with that,” I said, turned around, and
swooshed again. Damn, that was brilliant. “Which brings us to the magic beans,”
I said impatiently. I wanted her out of my castle before midnight. “I don’t
remember the dwarves in the book talking about magic beans.”

“Remember the phrase,
’Who ate my vegetables?
” Beans
are vegetables.” The Queen explained.

“Oh. Then that’s an easy one. Who else has magic beans in
his pockets all the time?” I cocked my head happily.

“Jack,” The Queen mumbled. “That little crook.”

“He is a thief and a crook, but he is very lovable.”

“You sound like you know where he is. In fact, you sound
like you have seen him recently.”

“Of course, I did. But I can’t get him for you. Jack is
becoming so important in the Dreamworld these days.”

“Why is that?”

“He is the only one who can
climb
out of a dream,” I
mentioned. “You know how many Dreamhunters need a guy like Jack? He is all
business, and he is doing fine. I don’t think that waking up every one hundred
years tempted him at all. He is still in the Dreamworld, getting paid very well
to save Dreamhunters who get stuck in dreams.”

“But climbing out of a dream is prohibited in our
Dreamworld.”

“Yeah. So is eating a young girl's heart and liver.”

“At least I know where he is now.” The Queens looked happy.

“But please, when you find him, don’t squash him like a giant
would do to him?” I threw the basketball away. I got bored easily, just like
Dracula.

“Which brings up to the last item, Peter,” Suddenly the
Queen sounded creepier. I knew when she got into that mood. She was holding a
cool knife in her hand.

“And now we come to the last item, Pete,” The Queen said in
a rather intimidating way. “A knife. One that really looks like yours.”

“Wow,” I said. “Are you saying that you think I am one of
the Lost Seven?”

“I don’t know, Pete. You tell me.”

“Well. It does look like my knife, but I could have dropped
it anywhere, and someone might have picked it up. Aren’t there any other fairy
characters with knives but me?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Come on, please. Do I look like give a damn about Snow
White? Do I look like I don’t want her dead? She is a threat to everyone.”

“She is a threat to us, but not necessarily you.”

“But she is a threat to the one I love.” I said firmly. It
was time to show seriousness in my voice. I could play, dance, and fly all day,
but when it came down to the one I loved, I wasn’t a nice boy anymore.

“The one you love is dead.” The Queen said.

“Not dead,” I waved my hand. “She is just taking a nap. A
long nap. Thanks to the Brothers Grimm for placing that ridiculous curse upon
you guys.”

“So?”

“She won’t be sleeping anymore,” I said. “I will resurrect
her tonight. And if you could just leave, I could happily start my ceremony.”

“What?” The Queen wondered. “You’re bringing Sleeping
Beauty back? Sheis a mischievous brat. All she causes is trouble.”

“A
beautiful
mischievous brat,” I corrected her. “I
have been living without her for a hundred years. And I am feeling kinda lonely
here.”

“Isn’t Hunchy entertaining you enough?” The Queens teased me.

“He is alright. But it’s not him. It’s me,” I teased her
back.
No one makes fun of the boy who wouldn’t grow up.
“I broke up with
him, on his birthday, so it’s most painful for him.”

The Queen chuckled. “Oh. Peter. You still can’t live
without love, even if it’s with one of the most wicked girls in the world.”

“Why do you say that about her?”

“Don’t you remember, Peter? She’s always been cursed, even
before the Brothers Grimm. We needed to put her to sleep for long times because
she likes to kill people, make a mess, and bring down the sky for the fun of
it.”

“I like my girls naughty.”

“That’s not naughty. That’s nuts.”

“She loves me. That’s why I like her. And she doesn’t have
a specific agenda like all of your fairy tale folks. And please, don’t call her
a Grimm. She belongs to both worlds. You know what I mean.”