La Vie en Rose {Life in Pink} (27 page)

“I love you, too.”

Sighing, he left.

****

“Y
ou promised you’d call.” Fuming, he paced to the kitchen and opened the fridge, but what he was searching for wasn’t there.

“I said I would call and I will. It’s been two days, Riley. Relax!”

He slammed the fridge. “Exactly, Emma, two fucking days. You have something inside of you and no clue if it’s spreading or harmless. What the hell are you waiting for?”

Her jaw twitched as she stared at him, her eyes hardening and glazing with unshed tears. Fuck.

“I just want to know what’s going on, Emma. Don’t you?”

“I just...” She shook her head and pressed her lips tight. “I just wanted a moment to breathe.”

“Then let’s deal with this so we can,” he argued in a calmer voice.

“You don’t get it,” she barked. “The moment those real tests start there’s no slowing down. I’m not ready for this. I’m scared, Riley.”

Jesus, how did people do this? He was losing his fucking mind waiting. Sitting beside her on the couch, he exhaled. “I know, cakes. I’m scared too. That’s why I want us to deal with this. We have to be aggressive so it doesn’t get ahead of us.”

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at the table. “Don’t you get it? There
is
no us. This is happening to
me.
It’s
my
body.
My
decision. And I’ll make the appointment when
I’m
emotionally ready to do so.”

It was happening. She was changing, pulling away from him. Her words stabbed into him, sharp and careless, cutting him to pieces as he bled with worry. The stress this was putting on their relationship was wearing their patience thin.

Something had to give. Fighting back the chronic nausea brought on by fear, he shook his head. “How do you turn it off?” he whispered, truly curious.

“Turn what off?”

His heart raced. They were losing ground. They needed to stay on the same foundation if they expected to get through this. “The worry. The love.”

Turning from the window, her jaw trembled and her scowl softened as her head lowered. “I don’t,” she whispered almost shamefully.

The pressure in his chest was nearly crippling. “Then how can you say this is only happening to you?”

A tear fell to her jeans leaving a dark spot. “Honestly, I’m terrified, Riley. I think the doctor was wrong. I feel it, in my gut. I
know
something isn’t right. Tissue shouldn’t feel like that and even if it is just a cyst, it doesn’t belong there and that freaks me out. I know my body. But it felt so good believing her for a split second. I just wanted to hold on to that feeling a little bit longer.”

Understanding the temptation of false security, he felt like the worst villain stealing it from her, but just because someone fed her an optimistic assumption didn’t mean she was safe. He wouldn’t be able to breathe right until he was absolutely certain she was in the clear.

“You can’t hide from this, Emma. I’m scared too, but it’s real and it’s happening whether you acknowledge it or not. If you want a fighting chance, you have to get in the ring.”

Sniffling, she wiped her nose. “I’m not tough. What if it knocks me down and I can’t pull myself back up?”

“You
are
tough.” He tucked a curl behind her ear. “And if it knocks you down, I’ll help you up every time you fall. I promise. I’ll catch you.”

Her lips tightened with tension. “What if it beats me up? I could walk away from this scarred and ugly.”

The damage was already taking its toll whether she realized it or not. This experience had its claws so deep in her it was leaving marks on her soul.  Gripping her hands, he stared into her eyes and fiercely vowed, “You could never be ugly, Emma. Scars don’t matter.
You
do. Please, just make the appointments.”

She wiped her eyes. Seeing her so worn down ripped at his gut. He’d take a thousand other horrible punishments if he could just spare her this.

Her shoulders lowered and she nodded.

He kissed her nose and made her look at him. “This may be your body, but I’m in love with the woman inside. Anything that happens to her, happens to me. This is happening to
us,
Emma.” His voice ceased as his greatest fears choked him. “Don’t push me away. I don’t like it and I won’t let you.”

She pressed her forehead to his. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I needed to hear you say that more than you’ll ever know.”

“I love you. I’ll never stop reminding you.” Pulling back, he reached into his pocket and handed her the phone. “It’s time to get into the ring.”

****

R
iley fidgeted in the ultra feminine waiting room, grateful the receptionist was the only one playing witness to his sketchy behavior. His fingers drummed rapidly over the veneer armrest and the woman glanced over the desk.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

Emma had been gone for nearly twenty minutes. He wasn’t sure how long a mammogram took, but once he’d had his wisdom teeth x-rayed and that only took a few seconds. The door opened and his heart jolted as he spotted Emma and stood.
Thank God.

Her mouth formed a polite smile, but he read the stress in her eyes. The sooner they got the hell out of there the better. Taking her hand, he led her to the exit, anxious to get somewhere they could talk.

Holding the door, he squinted at the sun and whispered, “How was it?”

“Uncomfortable, but not too painful.” Her voice was trancelike, different from her usual upbeat tone.

He wasn’t allowed in the examination room for safety reasons, which was probably for the best. Seeing her in any sort of pain made him crazy and he heard mammograms weren’t pleasant. “Were they able to tell you anything?”

“No. I didn’t even see the images. They go somewhere else. I won’t hear anything for a week or so.” The knot in his intestines tightened. His stomach couldn’t handle much more suspense.

Once he started the car his head pressed against the seat and he let out a frustrated breath. She did the same. They sat in the parked car for several minutes not saying a word.

Silence.

Too many chaotic thoughts raced through his head, yet the world around them continued at its peaceful rhythm. Forcing out a calming breath, he tried to get a hold of his bearings, but nothing seemed capable of silencing the pandemonium in his mind.

Emma twisted, her hair dragging against the leather of the seat as their gazes met. He had no doubt she was struggling with the same inner turmoil. “You know what we should do?”

“What?” Fraught, he prayed she had a solution. He needed to escape the pressure, even if only for a moment.

Her lips curled in a slow, mischievous grin. He arched a brow, intrigued. Oh yeah, she had a plan. Good thing, because he was going out of his skull overthinking everything and desperately needed a distraction.

“Do you trust me?”

He smiled. “With everything I’ve got.”

“Good. Let’s go home.”

****

T
he entire loft stunk of skunk weed. Emma fell over Rarity as she giggled hysterically, Lexi’s legs draped haphazardly over her lap. Riley continued to look around the kitchen, checking every drawer, but momentarily unsure what he was searching for.

He paused and pulled at the tag on his shirt, really enjoying the swishy sound it made. Tags were the same material as satin bows, weren’t they? Bows...

David Bowie is highly underappreciated. I should eat a banana. Where’s my monkey hat? Emma has the best laugh. Marla’s a good dog. Brown is such a weird word. Brown. Berrrrwown.

Abandoning the kitchen he shuffled to his bedroom, swishing his tag along the way. Stuffing his head in his sock monkey hat, he grabbed a box of cassettes, and returned to the couch, wedging himself between his sister and Lexi.

“Hey,” Lexi complained, poking his ribs with her big toe. “I was cozy.”

“Sit with me, Riley.”

Emma. He stared at her for a moment wondering if she was speaking low or if his ears were moving too fast. Wait. Ears didn’t move, but it would be funny if they did. The image of Dumbo’s mom popped in his head and he snorted. The pot had definitely hit him.

His face suffered a sort of grin paralysis, but every muscle in his body was at ease. As he sifted through the tapes he continued to mumble, because the girls were laughing about something else and he wasn’t sure what he’d missed. “Brown. Br-br-br-br-brown clown.” He found what he wanted. “Put this on,” he yelled, handing his sister the
Ziggy Stardust
album.

“Why are you yelling?” Lexi shouted and they all started cracking up.

“I feel so good right now,” Emma sighed. “The only thing that could make me feel better is ice cream. I really want some ice cream.”

Rarity shoved him off the couch and he crawled over to Emma’s chair. Falling onto the cushion beside her, he pulled on her curls. His eyes were getting heavy. “You’re cute, cakes.”

Her cheeks tinged with pink. Damn, she was sexy. “So are you, syrup.”

“You guys have the weirdest pet names,” Rarity said, her voice strained as she bent to reach the tape player behind the couch.

Emma abruptly sat up. “Hey! You know what we should do?” The table jolted as she inelegantly stumbled and caught her balance.

“Oh no!” A cup of coffee teetered and spilled.

“Grab the pot!” Rarity shouted and Emma started cracking up.

Unable to take her adorableness, he tackled her to the floor and buried his face in her neck. His body molded to hers as she sighed and combed her fingers through his hair. “I love you,” he mumbled, smashing his lips to her shoulder.

She turned and grinned, her eyes little slices of color. “I fell over.”

He snorted. “Yeah, you did.” He kissed her little ear.

Lexi cleaned up the table, making more of a mess as she kept knocking other things to the ground and laughing.

Emma hummed and melted into him. His body swelled as her limbs molded to his. Her small, squinty eyes smiled at him as she pulled his mouth to hers and closed his hands over her ass.

Something hit him in the side of the head and he jerked back. Rarity stood like Braveheart with the crossbow aimed at them. “Knock it off!”

He tossed the foam dart at her. “Cock blocker.”

“You know what we should do?” Emma repeated, laughing.

“What?”
The three of them burst into laughter as they went in circles.

Rarity plopped onto the couch, pulling Lexi down with her. Emma shoved him as she struggled to sit up. “We should make a bucket list.”

His mouth twitched, loving her more than he had a minute ago. “Like to climb Mount Everest?”

“No, nothing that hard. All fun stuff.”

“Like what?” Rarity asked, shoving Lexi’s feet out of the way as she reclaimed her seat.

Emma smiled as if about to share the secret to life. “Like, go ice skating in Rockefeller Center.”

Rarity snorted. “I’ve done that a hundred times.”

Emma pouted. “I haven’t. I’ve never even been in the Empire State Building. Riley calls me the worst New Yorker ever.”

“True story,” he added.

“
You’ve never been in the Empire State Building?”
Lexi barked, now sitting up with her feet on the ground. “You live here!”

“I know! That’s why I need a bucket list. I should be doing all these things.”

Rarity reached in the drawer and produced a notepad and pen. “Em-ma’s Buck-et List,” she said as she wrote across the top of the page. They waited as she jotted down the first two items—skating and the Empire State Building. “Okay, what else?”

“She’s never been inside the Statue of Liberty either,” he told his sister.

“Jesus, you
are
the worst New Yorker ever.”

Emma threw her hands up and guffawed. “I know! This is what I’m saying.”

Rarity tapped the pen on the notepad. “Okay, what else?”

“Pay for a perfect stranger’s dinner.”

He stilled, entranced. The soft ivory of her cheeks tinged with pink as a little cockeyed curl clung to the tip of her lashes. Her shirt didn’t match her pants and she was only wearing one sock, but in that moment, she was the most put together, logical, and stunning woman in the world.

She shrugged. “What? I think that would be cool. Mysterious. Plus, it would make me feel good and spread good karma.”

He was going to maul her the moment they got to bed. His gaze dropped to her sockless foot and he smirked at her curled hobbit toe. Oh yeah, she was gonna get it.

“Okay,” Rarity jotted a few words on the paper. “Pay for a stranger’s meal.”

Their world suddenly seemed so contained, unintentionally limited when there was an entire universe to experience outside of their little bubble. The desire to pull her away from this place and explore life’s secrets consumed him. Driven to show her the world and witness its splendor through her laughter and smiles, his focus shifted to commitments that would take longer than a day. “Swim with the dolphins.”

“Oh, good one,” Lexi agreed. “Rare and I did that last summer. Totally awesome.”

“There are no dolphins in New York.”

“It’s called traveling, Em.” He’d take her wherever she wanted to go. Having something to anticipate was way better than having something to dread.

“How about sex in an elevator,” Rarity suggested.

“Did it,” he and Emma said at the same time and laughed, their eyes meeting in shared nostalgia.

Falling back into the cushions of the chair, Emma sighed dreamily. “Dance in the rain.”

His head tilted, mesmerized with the fanciful look in her eyes, so weightless as if she didn’t have a care in the world. “Why?”

She shrugged. “It’s romantic.” Her eyes, though small at the moment, glinted with enchantment. “Imagine how in love a couple must be to dance in the freezing rain, where nothing matters beyond being in each other’s arms.”

He wished it were raining right now, because he wanted that too. He vowed to make sure her wish eventually came true, because he loved her that much and she was right, it was incredibly romantic and he wanted to be the only guy that danced with her and did romantic things for her—ever. Him.