Kyland (Sign of Love #7) (9 page)

She nodded, but her eyes looked wary as if she was trying to read whether I was okay with that or not. Truthfully, I didn't even know. I sighed and went and got the clothes. In the span of fifteen minutes, this day had turned into something completely unexpected, and although I was filled with uncertainty, I was also filled with happiness.
This girl.

Tenleigh

Fifteen minutes later, we were bundled up as much as possible, hiding behind some trees next to Dell Walker's trailer. Trash lay strewn around his yard, half covered in snow.

You'd think we could just stride onto his property and take what we wanted, with it being trash and all. But mountain folk were strange about their stuff and Dell was likely to come out with his shotgun if he saw us rooting through his garbage. And if we asked him if we could have it, he'd likely realize it had some value and try to charge us. Plus, Dell was a mean old bastard. A mean old bastard with a shotgun. And a penchant for consuming copious amounts of liquor.

Kyland pointed to an inner tube lying half submersed in snow a hundred feet from where we hid. He put his finger up to his lips and winked at me. Butterflies started flapping their tiny wings in my belly. I nodded my head. Then I watched as he ran quickly to a small shed to the right of us and ducked behind that. A few seconds later, I saw him emerge from there and sprint through the snow to the inner tube, swooping it up and hanging it on his shoulder as he ran back. He ducked behind the shed again. I laughed softly into my hand, covered in a thick sock with a plastic bag over it, tied around my wrist. Makeshift waterproof gloves.

As I waited for him, my mind moved to what he'd told me back at his house. I'd been horrified, stunned when I'd considered it back at my trailer. But somewhere inside, I'd known it was true. When he'd confirmed it, though, it shocked me all over again. Poor Kyland . . . living alone for all that time . . . grieving his whole family—all by himself. No one at all to help him through it. And then, the loneliness. How had he survived it? I suddenly understood his need to get out of Dennville. I understood his need to make a life for himself somewhere that didn't remind him of the deep pain he must have lived with all these years. And it made me want to love him. Which wasn't good.
At all.
Because he wouldn't love me back. He wouldn't
allow
himself to love me back even if he wanted to, which he might not. And I guessed that had to be okay. I guessed I couldn't even really blame him. He avoided commitment, but not girls, while I avoided boys completely—both of us tarnished by abandonment.

He ran back to the grove of trees, breathing hard, his cheeks flushed and a smile on his lips. And he looked as beautiful as I'd ever seen him.

Ugh. Double ugh.

"Ready?" I whispered.

"Yeah," he breathed out, still smiling.

We headed up the hill after snagging a second inner tube from Cletus Rucker in the same fashion as the one we'd snagged from Dell Walker. Kyland led me up the hill to a spot he promised was the best sledding hill on the mountain. He wasn't wrong.

When we stepped through a forest of pines, we were standing at the top of a hill that dropped off in a perfect slope, one that was steep, but long, and ended with plenty of time to come to a stop on the flat surface at the bottom before a new forest started.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, looking down at it. "Marlo will die when she sees that we missed this one all these years."

Kyland nodded. "Uh uh. You're not allowed to disclose the location of this sledding hill. It's top secret. Classified."

I laughed. "Okay. But how'd you find it?"

He set his inner tube down at the top of the hill and I followed suit, setting mine next to his. "My brother found it. He loved these hills. We explored every inch of them, I swear." He didn't smile, but something in his expression looked tender. I took his hand and his eyes rose to meet mine, almost shyly, as if he was remembering being a little boy.

"Let's hold hands as we go down."

He nodded and we both sat down on the inner tubes and positioned our bodies.

Kyland looked over at me, a look that I loved on his face—and one I'd never seen before—one of breathless anticipation, like something really good was about to happen. His expression made my breath catch in my throat. There was something so
pure
about it, as if I was seeing
him
for the very first time. It was perfect unabashed delight, and I was part of it. I didn't want the moment to pass before I'd committed it to memory.

"Ready?" he asked softly.

"Ready."

I looked out over that hill, the trees below us and the town of Dennville even farther below those, smoke rising lazily out of the chimneys, the tobacco farms just dots on the horizon. From up here, there was only peace, only freedom and beauty. I sucked in a huge breath as if I could capture the feeling of that moment in my lungs and hold it there forever.

We both leaned forward and grasped hands, our inner tubes gliding faster and faster down the hill, gaining speed so quickly that I threw my head back and screamed and then laughed uncontrollably. The wind whipped through my hair and Kyland's hand held mine tightly, warm and strong. Normally, the inner tubes would spin in circles, but with our hands grasped together, we went down straight. I looked over at him and he was laughing, too.

We came to a slow stop right before the grove of trees below, our feet dragging in the snow.

Kyland looked over at me, his cheeks flushed and a huge grin on his face. "Again?" he asked.

I laughed and nodded yes and we made the slow trek back up the side of the hill.

All that afternoon we played like kids, spinning down the hill as I shrieked and Kyland's deep laugh echoed through the quiet hills. We made snow angels, pointed out three bright red cardinals, and saw a couple of deer nibbling on some twigs at the edge of the forest. It was the best Christmas of my whole life.

We ate lunch at the top of the hill, sitting on our inner tubes eating the smashed bologna sandwiches Kyland had wrapped up in wax paper and stuck in his pocket before we left.

As the sun started to fade just a little, Kyland suggested we should get going. I was wet and cold, but I'd been willing to ignore it for the fun we were having.

"One more time down?" I asked.

"Okay." He laughed.

"Let's make it a good one."

"All right. I'll give you a push and then I'll be right behind you."

I nodded, grinning. I positioned myself on the inner tube and looked back at him to let him know I was ready.

"This is going to be fast."

"Good!" I said, laughing.

Kyland put both hands on my inner tube and with one giant shove, he sent me flying down the hill, spinning in immediate circles, the cold air whipping at my face and causing me to shriek out again and again.

Suddenly, my inner tube hit something under the snow that must have been uncovered in all the tracks we'd made down the hill. I went airborne, screaming, my inner tube shooting out ahead of me.
Oh no, this was gonna hurt.

I landed face down in the snow, the air whooshing out of my lungs. Somewhere above me, I heard Kyland yell my name. I lay there for a minute, unhurt, but surprised, with cold wet snow pressed into my nose and mouth.

All of a sudden, I was flipped over and Kyland's panicked face was staring down at me. "Tenleigh, oh my God," he choked out. "Tell me you're okay."

He looked so scared, his eyes moving all over my face. I felt dazed, but not hurt. "I'm fine," I breathed out. "I'm fine, Kyland."

His shoulders relaxed and he released a big breath. He kept staring down at my face, something intense coming into his expression, as if he'd made some kind of decision. The moment seemed to slow, to still. I quietly watched him, waiting for him to do something. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but then snapped it shut, clenching his jaw.

And then he leaned in and his mouth was on mine, soft and warm on my frozen lips. He used his tongue to trace them, his breath mixing with my own before he pressed his lips to mine again and allowed the kiss to go deeper. He tasted like the remnants of salt from our sandwiches, and something deeper and more masculine:
need
.

My heart rate accelerated and warmth raced through my veins, ending in a rush of wetness between my legs. But, still, I held back. He had done this before and then he'd pushed me away.
Please don't push me away this time.

"Kiss me back, Tenleigh," he whispered, his voice strained. "God, please kiss me back." He brushed his lips softly over mine again.

And that was all I needed.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and tilted my head, our eyes meeting once before he pressed his body into mine and gripped my face in his hands. His tongue ran along the crease of my lips and I opened immediately, a moan coming up my throat at the taste of him. He was all
boy
and mountain air and my body pressed upward into his, wanting to accept anything and everything he was offering.

Our tongues met and tangled and then he was moaning, too, sweeping his tongue as deeply into my mouth as he could. My body was tingly and alive and I felt his kiss all the way down to my toes.

The world faded out around me, the cold disappeared. It was only him and his hot, wet mouth on mine—
in
mine—and the taste of him, the weight of his hard body pressed into my own.

"Kyland, Kyland," I moaned out shamelessly when his mouth came off mine and his hot breath was suddenly at my throat. I arched my head backward into the snow as his lips feathered up the tender skin of my neck. And that shot more sparks between my legs, my nipples pebbling almost painfully under the layers of my clothes. "I need . . . oh God . . ." Everything. I needed everything. My body felt achy and empty and desperate.

"I want to take you home," he whispered against my skin.

I froze. "What?" Was he rejecting me
again
? I swear I'd claw his eyes out.

He lifted his head. "To
my
home." His gaze moved down to my mouth. He looked back into my eyes, something like fear in his as if he was waiting for me to hurt him.

Or as if he was hurting himself.

"I won't take your virginity, but God help me, I need to touch you. I need to taste you."

Oh yes, yes, I want that, too.
I nodded, swallowing heavily.

"But I thought . . ." I whispered.

He shook his head. "I can't resist you. I tried. I really did." He brushed his lips against mine again and I opened my mouth and drank in his air.

"I don't want you to resist me."

He leaned his forehead against mine, my face still cupped in his warm hands. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt
me
."

I shook my head. "I understand that you're leaving, Kyland. I already know."

And I want you anyway. Maybe I shouldn't. But I do.

"This won't change anything. I have to know you understand that." He frowned, shaking his head. "I know that makes me an asshole. I know. I do. I just—"

"It's okay. I promise, it's okay."

His eyes moved over my face as if trying to ascertain if I was telling the truth. Finally he leaned forward and took my mouth in another warm kiss. He kissed me until we were both panting again, and my heartbeat was pounding so furiously between my legs it was almost painful.

Kyland suddenly broke free from my lips and kneeled up, pulling me with him. "Let's go," he said, his voice hoarse and clipped as if he was in pain, too.

We stood up and started walking up the hill for the hundredth time that day. But now suddenly the air all around us seemed to be dancing with static electricity, the snow glistening as it reflected off its surface.

We walked in silence along the trail through the woods, our inner tubes on our shoulders. I had been cold and a little hungry before, but now all I could focus on was the wetness between my thighs as I took each step, my breath coming out in sharp exhales. I could feel Kyland behind me as if his very presence made the air all around me heavier somehow.

Finally, his house came into sight and he grabbed my hand and we ran the last couple hundred feet, laughter bursting from my chest. I didn't know if I was nervous or just filled with anticipation or what, but my whole body was buzzing.

"Stay here for a sec," Kyland said as he took my inner tube and walked to the back of his house putting them somewhere I couldn't see. Then he was back, taking my hand again, pulling me into his house, shutting and locking the door behind us.

Kyland

I was quite possibly about to make the biggest mistake of my life, and I just couldn't care anymore. It was too much damn work trying not to be attracted to Tenleigh. Some days more like a full-time job. I couldn't do it. The hormones had won out. Only something told me it was more than hormones that attracted me to her—and that's the part that scared me so damn much. I needed to touch her naked skin more than anything I'd ever needed in my life before. It was like those Monday mornings at school when someone had left food on one of the cafeteria tables, and I was so hungry after not eating all weekend that reaching out to take it was a primal response, one I could barely control—a survival instinct. That's how Tenleigh affected me. I wanted her so desperately I felt like some part of me was starving for her.

I wouldn't take her completely. But I had to have some part of her—at least that.

Was this normal? It couldn't be. I'd never felt this way for another girl before. Maybe I just needed to get my fill of her so that this feeling would begin to fade, so that I could gather some control over it. Half of it had to be the anticipation alone.

Right?

Tenleigh walked into my house first and then turned around to face me. "You have that really intense look on your face again," she whispered, her light green eyes wide, her lips red from the cold and my kisses.

Goddamn, I was so hard I was almost in pain.

"We need to take off these wet clothes," I said, ignoring her comment and starting to strip off my coat.

She nodded, color moving up her cheeks, her eyes cast downward as she removed her own jacket.

She looked so innocent, so beautiful. I hesitated.

Her eyes snapped up to mine and some kind of resolve filled them. She took the five steps or so to me and then her lips were on mine and I was gripping her face in my hands and sweet little moans were coming from her chest. Any control I had had a few seconds before was gone.

Long gone.

Somewhere in Eastern Asia.

I walked her backward as we kissed, licking and sucking at each other's lips and tongues. She tasted like something I couldn't even identify, something so delicious that it drove me to the next level of crazy. Kissing her was like tipping over the edge of sanity. Like being drunk. The feeling was so intense I could hardly describe it. My kisses weren't gentle—they were ravaging and wild. Desire, molten and powerful, pumped through my veins.

Somehow we made it to my room and when the backs of her legs hit my small twin bed, she sat down and lay back. I immediately followed her down, and continued to kiss her, pressing my throbbing erection down into her and moaning out at the sensation. How was I going to resist fucking her? My need to press into her warm, wet body was so intense, I was practically shaking with it. But I
would
resist. I had to. I broke from her lips and looked down into her face, filled with arousal, but still that same beautiful innocence.

"Make love to me," she whispered.

Yes!
No.

I closed my eyes tightly for a second and then looked back into her face. She was going to drive me out of my mind. "I can't, Tenleigh. I won't," I said. "But I'll give you what you need, okay?"

An expression of hurt crossed her features, but she nodded.

I kissed her once again quickly, then sat back and removed her boots, her damp socks, and then her layered pants. No girl had ever been more desirable in a more ridiculous, unbecoming outfit.

Underneath her pants, she had on a simple pair of pink cotton underwear. My dick pulsed again and I almost groaned.

You make me weak, Tenleigh.

She sat up and removed her layered tops, and when she finally took off the long johns shirt under it all, she sat before me in a white bra, her breasts spilling out of it as if it was a couple sizes too small. It probably was.

For a second, I just stared at her. She looked like a dream come to life. White creamy skin and dark hair spilling all around her shoulders and down her back. Her breasts were round and full, her waist slim, and her legs long and shapely. I'd never seen anything more beautiful in my life than Tenleigh Falyn sitting on my bed in her plain cotton underwear. My stomach muscles clenched.

"Tenleigh," I whispered, "you're so beautiful."

She blinked at me and then smiled shyly. I noticed there were goose bumps on her skin. "Get under the covers," I said, nodding to the bed.

She looked back and then bit her lip, but pulled the quilt, blankets, and top sheet back and lay back on my pillow pulling them up over her.

I stripped my clothes off so fast I didn't even remember doing it, but the cold hit my naked skin and I climbed beneath the blankets with her. I took her lips again, our cool bare skin finally making contact as we both sighed. I pulled the covers all the way up, almost over our faces, and it only took a few minutes until we were in our own little warm cocoon.

I brought my hand up to her breast and rubbed the nipple lightly with my thumb. Tenleigh gasped out my name and my cock jumped. I wasn't going to be able to take much more of this before I came on myself without even being touched. God, this girl. I needed to make her come and then I needed to take care of myself in the shower.

"Tenleigh, have you ever had an orgasm?" I asked softly, trailing my lips up her neck.

She shook her head.

"Not even one you gave yourself?" I asked.

"Our trailer's really small . . ." she said. I nodded, my eyes taking in her beautiful features. Something warm filled my chest when I considered that I'd be the first one to make her come. I wouldn't be the first one to make love to her, but I had this. This was mine and mine alone.

I reached behind her and she arched her back as I unhooked her bra and took it off her, tossing it on the floor. Her eyes watched my face, looking full of both desire and nervousness.

I leaned down under the covers and put my mouth on her nipple, sucking it gently into my mouth. The taste of her was heaven on my tongue.

"Oh God! Kyland," she moaned. Her hands came up to my head and she raked her fingers through my hair. I licked and sucked one nipple for a minute, laving my tongue around and around it until she was bucking her hips up into me. I moved my own hips to the side to avoid the sweet torture of her pressing right into my erection and moved my mouth over to the other nipple.

"You taste so good," I said between sucks.

"Ahhh," she moaned out. I could hear her moving her head from side to side on the pillow. I trailed my hand down over her silky, flat stomach, my mouth still on her breast, and when I slipped my fingers into her underwear and between her legs, it was me who moaned out.

She was slick with arousal. I dipped my finger inside her and brought it in and out slowly, mimicking the movement I wanted to be making with another part of my body. Her breathing grew ragged. I brought my now-wet finger to her clit, circling it gently as she cried out.

I wanted to put my face between her legs and taste her there, but we had all night—I hoped. If she'd agree to stay, I would make her feel good in every single way I knew how.

I continued to stroke her clit with my thumb as I dipped my finger into her wet opening. She sighed out and pressed upward into my hand.

"Tell me what you're thinking," I begged. "Tell me what's in your mind right now, beautiful Tenleigh." I wanted her. And I couldn't have all of her, but the parts I could have . . . her sweet responsiveness, her pleasure, and the things swirling through her mind, I
could
have those. For now, at least.

She moaned out. "I can't . . . I can't make sense of any of it." She moaned deeply as I changed tempo with my fingers. "I think I used to have problems and . . . concerns, but I can't remember one of them. All I feel is good, oh God, Kyland, that's so good."

I smiled down at her, tenderness filling my chest. She was so beautiful in every way possible. She was silky and soft and warm and she smelled like heaven. And God, I hoped she wouldn't regret this. I circled my finger faster and closed my lips around her nipple again.

Seconds later, she cried out. Her body tensed and shuddered and I felt satisfaction unlike any I'd known before.

"Oh God, oh God . . ." she groaned. I leaned up and watched her face as she came down, her eyes opening. She gazed at me with some kind of wonder and then she smiled, so beautifully I startled very slightly. Tenleigh was a beautiful girl, there was no doubt about that, but every once in a while she did something or made an expression that
dazzled
me and rendered me speechless. This was one of those moments.

"Wow," she said.

I chuckled softly and then fell to the side, my head lying on the pillow next to her, my erection throbbing with the need for release.

"I'm going to go take a quick shower," I said, starting to sit up.

"No," she said, sitting up, too, and pushing me back down. "I get to enjoy you, too. Fair is fair."

"Tenleigh," I groaned. "You truly are going to kill me."

She laughed and then moved until her body covered mine.

Somehow, she was well versed in torture techniques. She was applying each and every one to me in this bed. She wiggled on top of me.
Case in point.

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know," I groaned. "Anything."

She laughed. "What?" But then her hand moved down over my ribcage and I couldn't talk at all.

She scooted to the side and her hand ran down my thigh. "Touch me, please." Now I was begging. And I didn't care.

Her hand ran tentatively back up my thigh and then finally, finally, she gripped my cock, wrapping her warm fingers around it and squeezing lightly. Goose bumps broke out on my body and I groaned again, pleasure bursting within me. I brought my hand around hers and showed her how to slide it up and down the way I liked. She leaned in and kissed me, her taste filling my mouth again as her smooth body rubbed against mine, her hand moving up and down on my cock. She kissed down my jaw, to the side of my neck, her breath tickling my ear as her hand stroked me. Tenleigh was so innocent and yet every movement, every touch, every gust of her breath on my body was so perfect, so thrilling. I barely made it two minutes before an orgasm exploded, so intense I gasped out and shuddered. The waves of ecstasy slowly diminished, Tenleigh's hand slowing as her now wet, sticky fingers loosened their grip.

She smiled down at me. I was in a daze. I barely knew where I was. "Holy shit," I finally mumbled. Tenleigh laughed and leaned in, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"No wonder people lose their minds over sex," she said. "That was incredible."

I laughed. God, I wished I could teach her everything there was to know about how great sex could be. I wished I could let
her
teach
me
everything about how great sex could be. Because I was somehow sure it
would
be with her. I sobered. Unfortunately, that couldn't happen and I needed to keep reminding myself of that.

I rolled to my side and so did Tenleigh until we were facing each other. I ran my finger down the side of her face, tracing her delicate cheekbone. "Are you warm enough?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Hungry?"

She nodded.

"How about I put that ham in the oven? I have some potatoes. And some canned green beans."

She smiled. "That sounds like a fine Christmas dinner, Mr. Barrett."

"Well good, Miss Falyn. Come on. Bring that quilt with you."

We got up and I went to the bathroom to clean myself off and returned to the bedroom to put my jeans on. The house was cold, but not frigid. Still, thankfully, I had some coal for the cast iron stove in the living room. I'd get the house nice and warm for tonight, even if it meant I'd be cold for the rest of the week. She was worth it. Only this girl.

I went about the business of getting a fire going as Tenleigh settled herself on the couch, the quilt wrapped around her and the glow of the lights from the small Christmas tree on her face.

I put the ham and potatoes in the oven and went to sit next to her as dinner cooked. Just for tonight, I was going to allow myself to enjoy the gifts of Dennville, Kentucky. After all, it was Christmas.