Authors: Johanna Bock
“I had to come back here tonight,“ he began. His eyes never left her face, giving her the impression he wanted her to believe what he was going to say was true. “I had to get your name, your address, your phone number. I feared you would leave and I would never see you again. Never hold you in my arms. Never get to know you.“ His voice was full of meaning. “I didn’t want to leave earlier, but my ride was leaving. He works with me, and was here to talk to the owner of the club about a singing engagement. Tonight is the first time I have been to this club. I never expected to walk in here and find you. I was wandering around, checking the place out when I spotted you. You were talking and laughing with the group at the table. I stood there for some time, watching you. I knew I had to meet you. And then, you glanced up at me,“ he said softly, stroking her palm with his thumb.
She blushed at the memory and dropped her eyes to their joined hands on the table. He released her left hand, and brought his hand up to her face and tilted her head up to see her face. “You are blushing again,“ he remarked. Her face was on fire where his fingers touched her. She smiled to let him know she was listening to him. Instinctively, she remained silent, somehow knowing he needed to finish his story.
He released her face and continued, “Before I could approach you, Jerry, my co-worker found me, pulling my attention away from you. He began talking and we moved from the gaming area. He told me he would be a couple more minutes. I told him that would be fine. I was just starting my return back to the gaming area when you bumped into me. Before I could say anything, you shot off like a rocket. I laughed at your reaction. You should have seen your face,“ his shoulders shook with laughter, as he recalled their encounter.
Her embarrassment deepened. She tried, unsuccessfully, to hide her feelings. “Don’t be upset at my laugher. You had the look of a frightened mouse -- as if I was a cat out for a meal. In fact, this incident made me more determined to meet you,“ he said. “I waited outside the restroom where you had taken refuge for quite some time. Before you reappeared, Jerry found me. He told me that his business was concluded and was ready to leave.“ A lost expression appeared in his eyes as he spoke. She squeezed his hand to reassure him she was there.
He refocused, smiled and continued. “It was my turn to tell him I wasn’t ready to leave. I told him about you. He suggested we wait at the bar and have a drink. I figured standing at the bar would still give me a clear view of the restroom door, so I agreed. As we waited, Jerry suggested I leave you my business card. He was anxious to leave, as he wanted to get home to his wife before it became too late. I was beginning to fear you wouldn’t appear before I was forced to leave when you emerged. I started making my way to you. Seeing my movement, Jerry started to the door. Knowing I didn’t have much time, I handed you my card and left,“ he explained. “During the drive home, I continued to think about you, hoping you would call. After I got home, thoughts of you were still lingering in my mind. While changing out of my suit, I made the decision to return here; I hoped you would still be here. I knew someone was watching over me to find you on your way out,“ he smiled. “Let’s leave.“
So caught up in his narrative and the emotions she was experiencing, Annie nodded her head in agreement without thinking. “I have to tell my friend, Leah,“ she informed him. They located Leah back at the gaming table, playing and talking with the same guy from earlier. “I am leaving with Jeff,“ Annie told her. Leah looked at Jeff, standing beside Annie, and noticed that they were holding hands. Concern clouded her face. Seeing Leah’s expression, Annie added, “I will be fine.“
Leah focused her gaze on Jeff. “I will look after her,“ he voiced.
Leah relaxed, but offered, “Annie, be careful.“
“I will,“ Annie replied happily.
***
Moments later, Jeff and Annie exited the club, hand in hand. As they approached a Chevy Malibu, Jeff led Annie around to the passenger door. He opened and held the door for her. Sliding into the car, she automatically leaned over to unlock his side, thinking how odd that she had not said much during the past hour.
As Jeff got into the car, she found her voice. “I am glad you returned tonight,“ she began. “Your instincts were correct. I wouldn’t have called you.“ Jeff placed his hand on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. His eyes searched her face and he smiled. Annie returned the smile.
He removed his hand from her leg and started the engine of the car. “Where to?“ he asked. Annie gave him directions to Leah’s house. She explained that even though Leah had driven that night to the club, her car was parked outside of Leah’s house.
As they rode along in silence, his hand returned to her thigh as if he had to have contact with her, as though he needed to verify she was there. She found herself pinching her arm to see if she was dreaming or not. The resulting pain from the pinch told her that she was very much awake.
She was usually a chatterbox and silence made her uneasy, but this silence felt natural. Words were not necessary between them. Both of them were wrapped in their own thoughts and were quite comfortable. Turning slightly in her seat to get a better look at him, she was surprised at how well she had mentally captured his appearance earlier that evening. He was extremely good looking. Strong, yet soft features dominated his presence. Her heart melted and she ached to be able to touch his face.
It seemed like he read her thoughts and without looking in her direction, his hand, which had been resting on her leg, moved. He reached for her left hand. He gently turned the palm up and pulled it to his lips, kissing and nuzzling her palm. Chills and thrills coursed through her entire body; it was nothing like she had ever experienced in her life.
He released her hand. Knowing somehow he had just given her permission, she reached to touch his face. While her fingers traced his chiseled jaw line, his hand returned to her thigh. Her exploration reached his lips just as Jeff stopped for a traffic light. He turned to her for the first time during their ride. His expression made her heart flutter. The same desire she was experiencing was mirrored on his features.
She didn’t know how long they sat there staring at each other. No words were spoken. After a moment, he returned his attention back to the road. She still hadn’t released his face. His hand, resting on her thigh, began to slowly caress her upper leg. She reluctantly removed her hand from his face and placed it over the top of his hand. He immediately flipped his hand over and interlocked his fingers with hers. As they approached Leah’s house, a sense of disappointment passed over her. She didn’t want to part from this man. She also wished, God forgive her, she had a place of her own.
He pulled his car in behind hers on the street. Releasing her hand, he got out of the car. For some reason, she was experiencing a great sense of loss and couldn’t move. Coming around the car, he opened her door. Her mind quickly started belittling herself again, thinking he wanted to get rid of her. Yet, when she gazed into his face, she saw that he was not rejecting her, but rather his face showed that he found her desirable.
He held out his hands for her. She placed her hands into his and he helped her out of the car. “Give me your keys,“ he said softly. She located her keys and handed them to him without asking why. Reaching for her hand, he walked her to the driver’s door of her car. He didn’t open the door as she expected, but rather, he turned his back to the car door instead and slowly drew her to him.
How could she tell this man she still lived with her parents
? she wondered.
How could she tell him she was a novice where love was concerned?
Shudders went through her as she acknowledged the fact she wanted him, but lacked the experience as to how to tell him.
He reached for her face and gently lifted her head to meet his gaze. All rational thought flew out of her head. They gazed into each other’s eyes. His eyes dropped to her lips. He leaned down at the same time she reached up and their lips met for the first time. There was no urgency in the kiss, even after everything they had experienced earlier. It was a discovery -- a kiss which years of memories could never improve upon -- a kiss which held so much tenderness and yes, love.
She didn’t know how long this ’discovery ’ lasted. When their lips had met, all traces of the world around them stopped. She was a firm believer there was one man, a soul mate, out there for her. At that moment, she knew she had located hers, and would have done anything, gone anywhere, to be with this man. Even though she had only known him for a few brief hours, she felt, with her entire being, she had always known him.
This realization helped to explained her uneasiness earlier that night. It explained all her inner turmoil. This was meant to be and she thanked God for directing Jeff to her. The kiss ended just as beautifully as it had begun. He leaned back against her car and pulled her with him. He spread his legs and she leaned in closer. Wrapped in his arms, she could feel the beating of his heart and his ragged breath blowing through her hair. She heard and felt him sigh deeply as he whispered her name over and over again. She hated to break this moment, but she felt compelled to tell him about herself.
***
Chapter Four
“Jeff?“ she started softly. He pulled her further into his embrace. “I have to tell you about myself.“ She felt him tense. Worried, she glanced up into his face and smiled. He relaxed and with his right hand settled her down against his chest.
“Go ahead. I am listening,“ he responded quietly.
She leaned back and looked into his face, gave him a quick kiss, settled up against him, took a huge breath and began. “You know nothing about me. Yet, it seems you know me better than I know myself.“
He hugged her gently. She knew she had his undivided attention. “You assumed correctly earlier regarding my reaction to you. I was confused by the feelings I was experiencing with just a look from you. I did escape to the restroom to avoid you. I had to think and I knew that would be impossible if your gaze was upon me,“ she confessed.
She felt him chuckle, and she looked up. His expression told her to continue. Hugging him, she settled back and rushed on. “I had convinced myself I had an overactive imagination, that your attention was not focused on me. Then, Leah appeared and I told her about you. She told me I was being crazy and not to worry about things which were beyond my control. I agreed with her and we exited the restroom. I glanced around for you. I must admit I was disappointed when you were nowhere in sight. My heart wanted to see you, but my mind was celebrating at not having to face you.“
He pulled her closer and she sensed he was going to say something. She reached and placed a finger on his lips to keep him silent. “You’ve already told me your side of the night. I understand,“ she said quickly.
“When you turned up shortly after I returned to my seat, I was dumb struck. I could not have found my voice even if my life depended on it. Your voice cut right to my core, unfamiliar, yet familiar at the same time. Then, you handed me your card and left.“ A shudder went through her as she remembered.
Jeff started caressing her hair, but didn’t say anything. She continued, “For the next hour or so I was lost, not knowing really what to think of the strange sequence of events. Leah was full of questions and I couldn’t respond to her. I don’t know what kept me glued to my seat and going through the motions of playing Blackjack. It seems all my concentration was only on you. I now believe fate played a role in the timing of my departure and your arrival. For if I had left even five minutes earlier, we would have never been in this position.“ Voicing this thought made both of them cling tighter to each other.
He stopped playing with her hair and she gazed up into his eyes. She witnessed a lost look in his expression as if he just now realized what she said was true. After a moment, he refocused on her and leaned down to kiss her -- a kiss which reassured her he was there and had no plans to be anywhere else at that moment -- a kiss which chased away all the demons of her soul.