Knight Vision (18 page)

She arrived at the bench at the same time as Jeff.   He reached out and patted the tabletop where he had sat.   She understood immediately and climbed up on the table and looked at him.   He gently spread her legs, turned his body and sat between her legs.   She automatically leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, hugging her legs to his sides.   “What is it?“ she questioned.

“I have to go,“ he repeated.  

“Okay,“ she said, beginning to release her arms.

“No,“ he said, pulling her arms around him and holding them against his chest.  

“I don’t understand.“

“I know,“ he moaned, shaking his head.   “Let me explain.   I deliberately positioned you behind me so I could talk to you without seeing your face.“

“Why?“

“Because it will kill me to witness your reactions to what I need to share with you,“ he said earnestly.   “Call me coward, but it must be this way.“

“Jeff,“ she whispered.

“No, please don’t talk.   Hear me out.   It will be hard enough for me to say it once,“ he pleaded.   Fearing to speak, she placed her head against his and nodded.   Taking a deep breath, he began.   “I have to go.   I don’t want to go, but I have no other options.   I quit my job this afternoon.  That is how serious this is for me.   I received a call today.   It was …..“  He hesitated.   “It was Pam.   She called to tell me she had given birth to my baby this morning.“

Annie bit her tongue and tried to withdraw her arms, but they were held in place.   “No, don’t pull away,“ he begged.   “Hear me out.“ She stopped pulling.   “Good,“ he said.   “I know I told you I have been separated for over a year, and it is true.   Yes, I know what you’re thinking.   Pregnancy is nine months.   Yes, I bedded her once when I visited my son.  You must believe me.  I did not know she was pregnant; she never told me.  During the last few visits with my son, the sitter was with him; Pam was not there.   I learned today she had planned it that way.   She didn’t want me to know.   Yet, today, when she held our daughter in her arms, she knew she had to tell me.   She wants me to come home,“ he choked.  

Annie could feel him crying as he rubbed her arms.  
She won!
Annie screamed in her head.  
You lost
.   Her heart was broken, not only for her loss, but also for Jeff.   She couldn’t stand to see him in pain.   “You must go,“ she said softly.   “It is only right.“

“Don’t be a bitch,“ he said quietly.  

“I’m not,“ she assured him.  “Jeff, you must go.  I do understand.   In fact, I don’t want you to stay.“

“Don’t be a bitch,“ he repeated.

“
No, listen to me.  I have no claim on you; they do.  You are an honorable man.  She has forgiven you.  Here is your opportunity to right what you have done.  You are not your father,” she said softly. Pulling his left hand to her face and kissing his palm, she noticed the return of the solid-gold ring.  With a heavy heart, she knew that she would never see him again.  She had to give him her permission to leave.  “Jeff, you have given me something no one could ever take from me.  You have given me your love.  You need to return to your family and show them that you have learned how to love,“ she advised him.

Jeff turned in her hold and gazed at her.   “You know?“ he asked.  

“Yes, I know,“ she freely admitted.  

“I don’t want to leave you,“ he said.  

“I know, but you will really never leave me or I, you.   We have a piece of each other’s heart,“ she said, smiling at him.

“Yes, you do,“ he said, standing and pulling her into his embrace.   “I love you, Annie.“

“And, I love you, Jeff.   Now go.   I can walk home from here,“ she added.   He kissed her -- the same tender, soft, loving kiss she remembered from after their lovemaking -- a kiss which healed her broken heart.  

“You will always be my knight in shining armor,“ she said softly as they released.

“And, you will always be my Lady,“ he replied, kissing the tip of her nose and returning her smile.   Then, without another word, he turned and walked to his car.   She remained standing by the picnic bench as he pulled out of the park and headed west into the sunset.

 
Goodbye, Jeff. 
Thank you for fulfilling my knight vision
, she thought, smiling.   As she lost sight of his car in the flow of traffic, she turned for home.   She knew she would never be able to see a Chevy Malibu again without recalling their vehicular activities
. 
 “Oh crap, my buttons.“

***