Authors: Emily Carr
Midnight brought us to a knob of land, lapped by the water on three sides, with the forest threatening to gobble it up on the fourth. There was a rude landing, a rooming-house, an eating-place, and a store, all for the convenience of fishermen and loggers. I was given a room, but after I had blown out my candle, the stillness and the darkness would not let me sleep.
In the brilliant sparkle of the morning when everything that was not superlatively blue was superlatively green, I dickered with a man who was taking a party up the inlet that he should drop me off at the village I was headed for.
“But,” he protested, “there is nobody there.”
To myself I said, “There is D’Sonoqua.”
From the shore, as we rowed to it, came a thin feminine cry—the mewing of a cat. The keel of the boat had barely grated in the pebbles, when the cat sprang aboard, passed the man shipping his oars, and crouched for a spring into my lap. Leaning forward, the man seized the creature roughly, and with a cry of “Dirty Indian vermin!” flung her out into the sea.
I jumped ashore, refusing his help, and with a curt “Call for me at sun-down,” strode up the beach; the cat followed me.
When we had crossed the beach and come to a steep bank, the cat ran ahead. Then I saw that she was no lean, ill-favoured Indian cat, but a sleek aristocratic Persian. My snobbish little Griffon dog, who usually refused to let an Indian cat come near me, surprised me by trudging beside her in comradely fashion.
T
HE VILLAGE
was typical of the villages of these Indians. It had only one street, and that had only one side, because all the houses faced the beach. The two community houses were very old, dilapidated and bleached, and the handful of other shanties seemed never to have been young; they had grown so old before they were finished, that it was then not worth while finishing them.
Rusty padlocks carefully protected the gaping walls. There was the usual broad plank in front of the houses, the general sitting and sunning place for Indians. Little streams ran under it, and weeds poked up through every crack, half hiding the companies of tins, kettles, and rags, which patiently waited for the next gale and their next move.
In front of the Chief’s house was a high, carved totem pole, surmounted by a large wooden eagle. Storms had robbed him of both wings, and his head had a resentful twist, as if he blamed somebody. The heavy wooden heads of two squatting bears peered over the nettle-tops. The windows were too high for peeping in or out. “But, save D’Sonoqua, who is there to peep?” I said aloud, just to break the silence. A fierce sun burned down as if it wanted to expose every ugliness and forlornness. It drew the noxious smell out of the skunk cabbages, growing in the rich black ooze of the stream, scummed the water-barrels with green slime, and branded the desolation into my very soul.
The cat kept very close, rubbing and bumping itself and purring ecstatically; and although I had not seen them come, two more cats had joined us. When I sat down they curled into my lap, and then the strangeness of the place did not bite into me so deeply. I got up, determined to look behind the houses.
Nettles grew in the narrow spaces between the houses. I beat them down, and made my way over the bruised dank-smelling mass into a space of low jungle.
Long ago the trees had been felled and left lying. Young forest had burst through the slash, making an impregnable barrier, and sealing up the secrets which lay behind it. An eagle flew out of the forest, circled the village, and flew back again.
Once again I broke silence, calling after him, “Tell D’Sonoqua—” and turning, saw her close, towering above me in the jungle.
Like the D’Sonoqua of the other villages she was carved into the bole of a red cedar tree. Sun and storm had bleached the wood, moss here and there softened the crudeness of the modelling; sincerity underlay every stroke.
She appeared to be neither wooden nor stationary, but a singing spirit, young and fresh, passing through the jungle. No violence coarsened her; no power domineered to wither her. She was graciously feminine. Across her forehead her creator had fashioned the Sistheutl, or mythical two-headed sea-serpent. One of its heads fell to either shoulder, hiding the stuck-out ears, and framing her face from a central parting on her forehead which seemed to increase its womanliness.
She caught your breath, this D’Sonoqua, alive in the dead bole of the cedar. She summed up the depth and charm of the whole forest, driving away its menace.
I sat down to sketch. What was this noise of purring and rubbing going on about my feet? Cats. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was seeing right, and counted a dozen of them. They jumped into my lap and sprang to my shoulders. They were real—and very feminine.
There we were—D’Sonoqua, the cats and I—the woman who only a few moments ago had forced herself to come behind the houses in trembling fear of the “wild woman of the woods”—wild in the sense that forest creatures are wild—shy, untouchable.
The sound of waves came in at the open door; the smell of the sea and of the sun-warmed earth came in too. It was expected that very soon death would enter. A row of women sat outside the hut—they were waiting to mourn and howl when death came.
The huddle of bones and withered skin on the mattress inside the hut knew death was coming. Although the woman was childless and had no husband, she knew that the women of her tribe would make sorrow-noise for her when death came.
The eyes of the dying woman were glassy and half closed. I knelt beside her and put my hand over her cold bony one. My blouse touched her and she opened her eyes wide. Turning her hand, she feebly clutched the silk of my sleeve.
“Is there something that you want, Mary?”
“Good,” she whispered, still clutching the sleeve.
I thought that she was dead, holding my sleeve in a death grip. One of the women came in and tried to free me. Mary’s eyes opened and she spoke in Indian.
“Mary wants your blouse,” said the stooping woman to me.
“Wants my blouse?”
“Uh huh—wants for grave.”
“To be buried in?”
“No, for grave-house.”
I understood. Mary had not many things now but she had been important once. They would build a little wooden room with a show window in it over her grave. Here they would display her few poor possessions, the few hoarded trifles of her strong days. My blouse would be an addition.
The dying woman’s eyes were on my face.
I scrambled out of the blouse and into my jacket. I laid the blouse across Mary. She died with her hands upon it.
Millie’s stare was the biggest thing in the hut. It dimmed for a moment as we stood in its way—but in us it had no interest. The moment we moved from its path it tightened again —this tense, living stare glowing in the sunken eyes of a sick Indian child.
All the life that remained in the emaciated, shrivelled little creature was concentrated in that stare. It burned a path for itself right across the sea to the horizon, burning with longing focused upon the return of her father’s whaling-boat.
The missionary bent over the child.
“Millie!”
Millie’s eyes lifted grudgingly, then hastened back to their watching.
Turning to the old crone who took the place of a mother who was dead and cared for the little girl, the missionary asked, “How is she, Granny?”
“I t’ink ’spose boat no come quick, Milly die plitty soon now.”
“Is there no word of the boats?”
“No, maybe all Injun-man dead. Whale fishin’ heap, heap bad for make die.”
They brought the child food. She struggled to force down enough to keep the life in her till her father came. Squatted on her mat on the earth floor, her chin resting on the sharp knees and circled by her sticks of arms, she sat from dawn till dark, watching. When light was gone the stare fought its way, helped by Millie’s ears, listening, listening out into black night.
I
T
WAS IN the early morning that the whaling-boats came home. When the mist lifted, Millie saw eight specks out on the horizon. Taut, motionless, uttering no word, she watched them grow.
“The boats are coming!” The cry rang through the village. Women left their bannock-baking, their
basket-weaving
and hurried to the shore. The old crone who tended Millie hobbled to the beach with the rest.
“The boats are coming!” Old men warming their stiff bodies in the sun shaded dull eyes with their hands to look far out to sea, groaning for joy that their sons were safe.
“The boats are coming!” Quick ears of children heard the cry in the school-house and, squeezing from their desks without leave, pattered down to the shore. The missionary followed. It was the event of the year, this return of the whaling-boats.
Millie’s father was the first to land. His eyes searched among the people.
“My child?”
His feet followed the women’s pointing fingers. Racing up the bank, his bulk filled the doorway of the hut. The stare enveloped him, Millie swayed towards him. Her arms fell down. The heavy plaits of her hair swung forward. Brittle with long watching, the stare had snapped.
The cannery boss said, “Try Sam; he has a gas boat and comes from
Greenville
. That’s Sam over there—the Indian in the striped shirt.”
I came close to where Sam was forking salmon from the
scow
on to the cannery chutes.
“Sam, I want to go to Greenville. Could you take me there on Sunday?”
“Uh huh.”
“What time Sunday?”
“Eight o’clock.”
On Sunday morning I sat on the wharf from eight o’clock till noon. Sam’s gas boat was down below. There was a yellow tarpaulin tented across her middle. Four bare feet stuck out at one end and two black heads at the other.
From stir to start it took the Indians four hours. Sam and his son sauntered up and down getting things as if time did not exist. Round noon the gas boat’s impudent sputter ticked out across the wide face of the Naas River.
The Indian and his son were silent travellers.
I held my dog tight because of the fierceness of those skulking shadow-dogs following us.
Greenville was a large village, low and flat. Its stagnant swamps and ditches were glory places for the mosquitoes to breed in. Only the hum of the miserable creatures stirred the heavy murk that beaded our foreheads with sweat as we pushed our way through it.
Half-built, unpainted houses, old before ever they were finished, sat hunched irregularly along the grass-grown way. Planks on spindly trestles bridged the scummed sloughs. Emptiness glared from windows and shouted up dead chimneys, weighted emptiness, that crushed the breath back into your lungs and chilled the heart in your sweating body.
Stumbling over stones and
hummocks
I hurried after the men who were anxious to place me and be gone down the Naas to the cannery again.
I asked the Indian, “Is there no one in this village?”
“One ole man, one woman, and one baby stop. Everybody go cannery.”
“Where can I stay?”
“Teacher’s house good for you.”
“Where is the teacher?”
“Teacher gone too.”
W
E WERE AWAY
from the village street now and making our way through
bracken
breast high. The schoolhouse was among it crouched on the edge of the woods. It was schoolhouse and living quarters combined. Trees pressed it close; undergrowth surged up over its windows.
The Indian unlocked the door, pushed us in and slammed the door to violently, as if something terrible were behind us.
“What was it you shut out, Sam?”
“Mosquitoe.”
In here the hum of the mosquitoes had stopped, as every other thing had stopped in the murky grey of this dreadful place, clock, calendar, even the air—the match the Indian struck refused to live.
We felt our way through the long school room to a room behind that was darker still. It had a drawn blind and every crevice was sealed. The air in it felt as solid as the table and the stove. You chewed rather than breathed it. It tasted of coal-oil after we lit the lamp.
I opened a door into the shed. The pungent smell of cut stove-wood that came in was good.
The Indians were leaving me.
“Stop! The old man and the woman, where are they? Show me.”
Before I went I opened all the doors. Mosquitoes were better than this strangling deadness, and I never could come back alone and open the door of the big dark room. Then I ran through the bracken and caught up with the Indians.
They led me to the farthest house in the village. It was cut off from the schoolhouse by space filled with desperate loneliness.
T
HE OLD MAN
was on the floor; he looked like a shrivelled old bird there on his mattress, caged about with mosquito netting. He had
lumbago
. His wife and grandchild were there too.
The womanliness of the old squaw stayed by me when I came back. All night long I was glad of that woman in Greenville.
It was dark when I got back to the school and the air was oozing sluggishly through the room.
I felt like a thief taking possession of another’s things without leave. The school teacher had left everything shipshape. Everything told the type of woman she was.
Soon I made smoke roll round inside the stove and a tiny flame wavered. I turned forward the almanac sheets and set the clock ticking. When the kettle sang things had begun to live.
The night was long and black. As dawn came I watched things slowly poke out of the black. Each thing was a surprise.
The nights afterwards in this place were not bad like the first one, because I then had my bearings. All my senses had touched the objects about me. But it was lying in that smothering dark and not knowing what was near me—what I might touch if I reached out a hand—that made the first night so horrible.