Keep Me (20 page)

Now, that was an idea. “Yes, but we’ll have to be really quiet not to wake Mommy Dearest and the sleeping prince.”

“Oh, come on. Live a little.” She kissed the tip of my nose, and it was endearing. I’d never been kissed there before.

“I’ve created a monster, haven’t I?” I clutched her hand and weaved my fingers with hers. It felt so natural.

“Complaining, are we?”

“Not one fucking bit. I love this side of you.” I ignored the twinge that zinged in my gut when I said the word
love
. Earlier, when she described something about me that made her happy she used the word
like
. I hoped I didn’t just say something that would wipe away how far we’d come tonight.

“The wild side? Yeah, she should come out to play more often.”

We maneuvered through the crowd, eventually finding our way to the parking lot. “Well, yes, that tiger inside you definitely needs to pounce more often, but I’m not talking about your wild side. I’m talking about the carefree, let-loose, don’t-worry-about-the-consequences side of you.”

A shy smile formed on her lips and her cheeks blushed a little. “I really thought that girl was gone for good.”

We reached the car and I spun her around so her back was against the door and she was caged between my arms. “This spark inside you should’ve never burnt out. I’m sorry he took that from you, but can’t you let me get it back?” This was the second time, on my first date, that I was asking for more. I hoped that after the dizzying passion we experienced together maybe her heart was ready to take a gamble on a dark horse.

But instead of answering me, she kissed me. Her tongue seemed hungry for more of the magic we created together, deflecting my plea. I sunk into her distraction, but couldn’t ignore the unexpected burn of another rejection festering inside.

The car ride home was filled with laughing and singing. Our voices would be hoarse tomorrow from the way we were belting out the lyrics over the volume of the radio. With the windows down and the wind spiraling her hair, I could barely take my eyes off her beauty.
How could anyone hurt someone so perfect?
I wanted to hunt that bastard down for scarring her the way he did—both inside and out.

As I pulled up the driveway to the house, I turned off the headlights and inched in slowly. I prayed that the crunching gravel beneath the tires didn’t give us away.
I don’t want it to end.
The only illumination from the whole house came from the porch light outside. Everything else seemed quiet and still; no sign of a clock-watching sister or a late-night bottle-feeding Luca. Coast was clear.

“Not a creature was stirring…” she whispered as we tiptoed to the dock. She removed her shoes; the soft padding of her feet against the wood planks was audible to no one but me and her. “Marcus, I really have to pee.” She danced.

I laughed at her squirming to hold it in. “Five more seconds. You can do it on the boat.”

“I’m not peeing in front of you!” she whined.

“You’ll come in front of me, but you won’t pee in front of me?”

She tsked, tilting her head. “Not the same thing. Seriously. Where am I gonna pee?”

Untying the boat from its anchor, I held my hand out to guide her up the step. “I won’t look. There’s a cup on there somewhere. I had a feeling we’d wind up back here so I tucked away some wine and a few plastic glasses.” I told you I had a plan.

“Shit, you really do think of everything! Pee cup and all.”

“Pee cup and all. Now hop aboard and hold still ‘til I get us out on the lake without causing a ruckus.”

She sat down in the bench across from the driver’s seat, her leg shaking up and down. The bobbing subsided when she tilted her head deviously and asked, “Can we make a ruckus once we’re a little further out? And after I pee?”

“Now you’re talking, pretty girl. Can’t wait to get you naked under the stars.”

Even in the darkness, I could see her eyes dance with a blazing desire. “Then go faster,” she urged me.

No witty reply could top that, so I just did as she said, steering the boat away from the dock and out onto the placid water. The quiet hum of the motor and lapping of the lake against the boat were the only things taking up the massive space that blanketed us in starlight, until her soft voice broke my serene thoughts and brought me back to all amped up. “How did we get here, Marcus? I mean, this is purely insane, don’t you think?”

I knew what she meant, but I wasn’t playing into her hand. “You asked me to take the boat out. The lake is beautiful at night. Nothing insane about it.”

“You know what I mean. This…
us
… it’s so…”

“Fucking awesome. That’s the only way to describe it, so don’t mess it up with all your insecurities and worries. In the moment, that’s where I want to be.”

She laughed, her hair swirling in the warm wind. She combed her fingers through it, smoothing it off her face. “Back then, if someone would have told me the two of us would be involved—I would’ve cracked the hell up.”

I veered the boat to the right. I knew of a spot where we could be secluded—just us and the lake. “Is it that hard to believe? That far-fetched? I always had a thing for you, Tess. You should know how many times I thought of you, all alone in my room, late at night, in my bed, using my—”

“Nuff said. I get the picture. But you have to understand that I didn’t see
you
that way back then. You were a kid, a boy—a hilarious, adorable boy. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to believe you’ve turned out this way.”

Now I was curious. What
did
she really think of me? “Turned out how… all hot and irresistible?”

“No. I mean, yes… you look incredible, but… the modeling gig, the tattoos, the women? How did you change so much?”

I never thought of it that way, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. “People change, Tess. I couldn’t stay young and innocent forever. I just did what came naturally to me—the acting, the music, the underwear, all of it. You know I always liked to entertain. And the women… that just happened. There’s no science to it and it wasn’t intentional. Looking back, I could’ve been a bit…
tamer
, but I never wanted the things Riley wants… to be tied down, to stop having fun. That would mean I’d
really
have to grow up and I wasn’t ready for that.”

She took it all in and then asked, “
Wasn’t
? As in, past tense? You’re only twenty-four, Marcus. Why would you want all those things now?”

Time for a rebuttal. “Why did
you
want all those things at twenty-four? What makes
you
different?”

She raised her finger, squirming. “Hold that thought and don’t look.”

I laughed, understanding her discomfort. “Fine, I won’t look.” I crossed my heart and turned my head as she grabbed one of the cups I told her about.

When she came back she let out a sigh of relief. “Ahhh, now I can think. Where were we?”

I continued our conversation, starting where we left off. “You were telling me why a gorgeous girl like you would settle down with the first dickwad who asked.”

She smiled, but it wasn’t a fond memory that made her lips turn up. After settling back in her seat, she became serious. “I was stupid and naïve and look where it got me. Don’t make my mistakes, don’t let the fun we have together trick you into believing it will be
all
fun
all
the time. It can’t be. I have a kid, a past that haunts me—you want that? Because being with me means being tied down and I can’t bear to bring you down.”

This wasn’t what our boat ride was supposed to be about and I wanted to change the tone of this somber conversation now before the whole mood was gone. But she needed to know. “I’m gonna say this and then we’re dropping all this heavy talk, got it?”

“Got it.” She nodded. At least we were on the same page.

I stopped the boat, because I wanted to be near her when I said this. Maybe the words would come out as something a smooth-talker would say, but I wanted her to see and feel and know that I meant them. I sat next to her on the bench, and took her hands in mine.
Marcus, when the hell did you get so serious, dude? Since she walked back into your life, that’s when.
I ignored my inner thoughts and just came out with it. “You make me see things differently—like I’m missing out on something.” I laughed, scratching my head. It was all so clear now. “How ironic is it that all these years I thought I was living it up? This… me and you…
this
is living. I can do without the partying, the clubs, the random girls… because you make me want the norm.”

Her eyes glistened in the moonlight—yes, I was noticing cheesy-ass things like that. But when I looked deeper I saw the uneasiness she felt. “Marcus, I like that you’re not the norm. Why would you want to change that for me?”

“Why does it matter? Why can’t it just be?”

“Because it’s bound to end in disaster.”

I couldn’t tell her it wouldn’t. Maybe it would for all I knew, but we’d be crazy not to try. Wasn’t that what life was all about… taking risks?

Instead of answering her with promises I couldn’t keep, I leaned in to kiss her. I wanted to shut her up… her thoughts especially. And she didn’t object. In fact, she fell right into the familiar rhythm we were starting to get used to. The boat rocked a little as she climbed onto my lap with her legs spread on either side of me. Her hands crept their way up my arms, over my neck, and then found a resting spot tangled in my hair. I loved the way I felt as if she was claiming me when she did that. I really wanted to belong to her, as much as I wanted her to belong to me.

“I just can’t seem to get enough of you. God, it’s crazy.” The words slipped out of her mouth, our lips still touching. She pressed her forehead to mine and her hands cupped my face. “Marcus, I…”

I had to stop her from talking, from over thinking, from ruining the moment. I brought my thumb up to silence her, grazing her moist lips, “Shh, baby. You make me crazy, too. Let’s be crazy together.”

Her tongue darted out over my finger and she nibbled the tender flesh, before taking it into her mouth and sucking. My dick twitched against her as I remembered how it felt to be inside her mouth at the concert. God, she was hot when she let herself go—so uninhibited whenever we were tangled together like this. I had to make her that way every time she was around me, not just when the heated emotions of sex were responsible.

But I would take this… for now.

Clutching her tiny waist in my grip, I lifted her off me and laid her down on the bench. The skin on her arms was covered in goosebumps and I worried that she was cold. “Want a blanket, pretty girl?”

“Uh uh,” she shook her head with a content smile, her chest heaving. Her skin was reacting to me. I was responsible for her body’s reactions—fucking turn on.

I hovered over her, my hands brushing the soft skin of her belly as I undid the button of her pants. Pulling them open and then down over her ass, I took in the site of her black lace panties and my mouth watered. From head to toe—the way she wrapped herself like a delicious present—she was fucking breathtaking. Her hips arched off the bench when my fingers skimmed the inside of her thighs. My exploits were slow and torturous—totally intentional. I cupped my hand over her pussy and could feel how wet she was under the skimpy lace. With my palm over her flesh, my thumb traced an unhurried trail down her opening.

“
Mmmhmmm.
Please, Marcus.” The pleasure was evident on her face as her mouth fell open and her eyes pressed shut.

I knew what she wanted, but I needed to hear her say it again. “What do you want?”

“You,” she moaned.

“What do you want
me
to do to you?” My finger stiffened and pressed harder against her. The panties created a maddening barrier.

“Please,” she hesitated before admitting on a soft whimper. “Your mouth… on me. I want to come that way.”

“Anything for you, pretty girl.” And it wasn’t just for her. The mix of the summer air, her perfume and her sweet arousal had me salivating for a taste. The pleasure was all mine—and she’d get some, too.

I tugged at her panties and she lifted her ass off the seat to help my cause. I slid them down her silky legs and then tossed them to the side, resisting the urge to toss them overboard for good. I took a moment to admire the sight before me. The gorgeous, once unattainable (maybe still unattainable) Tessa Bradley laid out before me like a feast for a starving man—a man starved of emotion, commitment, and love. I sucked in a breath and growled out, “You’re fucking incredible, Tessa Bradley.”

Her breath hitched as I swept open-mouthed kisses up her thigh and to her belly. With two determined hands, I spread her legs wider and dove in. My tongue tasted her from the outside in, teasing the bare flesh of her pussy and finally hardening over her throbbing clit. Her legs went wobbly as I sucked her, but I kept them pinned beneath me. I wanted all of her, every square inch.

“
Ohmygod!
” she bellowed, her cries reverberating off the vast nothingness.

I lapped her up the way the water lapped against the boat from the rocking we’d created—feverishly and resolutely. Her hips bucked and her moans grew louder. I never let up, craving her release. And as she came I gripped her body, locking us together, licking up every last drop of what I was able to do to her. Her limbs went flaccid after her body tensed one last time. I slithered up the length of her languid body, resting my hand at her thumping heart. When I kissed her lips, I parted them with my tongue. “Taste that? You? It’s delicious. And what we do to each other, what we are together… this is just the beginning.”