Keep Me (16 page)

Whoa, hold up!
“Why are you so sure I’ll fuck with her? You know, I really love your notion of what I’m capable of.”

Riley sat up, her posture serious. I was in for a lecture.
Wonderful!
“I’m sorry if it makes you feel bad, but come on, Marcus. That’s what you do. When have you ever held on to a girl for more than one night? What makes her different? She’s just another conquest to you
especially
since you’ve had a hard-on for her since you were a kid. Once you get her out of your system you’ll move on and I don’t think she can handle something like that. She needs to heal… alone… before she can even
think
of moving on or dating. And I’m sorry, but I just don’t think you can give her what she needs. Please understand that.”

My face felt hot and my arms were on the verge of tearing through my cotton V-neck like the fucking Hulk. Where did she get off telling me I couldn’t give Tessa what she needed? “Screw you, Riley! You have no idea what you’re talking about.” I took a long pull of my beer and tried to swallow the insults she dished out with it.

“I
do
know. I had the same conversation with her after you left. She told me you were just friends, but I didn’t buy it. She’s more vulnerable than ever. I wasn’t persistent enough when I warned her about Zack back then, but this time…”

“I’m nothing like that asshole. Don’t you
dare
insinuate she needs saving from me! I would never hurt her. Never!” I slammed the mug on the wooden end table. The golden liquid sloshed over the lip before fizzing its way down the length of the table and onto the rug. I ignored the mess and tried to curb my anger.

Riley inched closer to me, her hand at my shoulder. I wanted to swat it away, but I had a lot riding on controlling my temper right now. “Marcus, I know you’d never physically hurt her, honey. It’s her heart I’m worried about. Your timing on this sucks. I just wish you’d listen to me, for once. She needs you as a
friend
.”

I
was
listening, and each word pissed me off more and more. The painful realization sunk in that what she said affected me because it was true. I
was
a fuck up, incapable of love and loyalty. But what if I wanted to make that past tense? I hated to think of Tessa as my guinea pig, but she was the first girl who ever made me want to prove my sister wrong. With every intention of letting her think she won, I nodded my head and leaned back in my seat, reclaiming the remote and turning the TV back on.

My sister thought she knew all the ins and outs of her little brother, but she was sorely mistaken. Tessa had the ability to change me, to tame me, to make me hopeful for an actual future. I would prove to her, and my know-it-all sister, that I wasn’t just a pretty face with a one-track mind. I was ready to put all that behind me for the sake of moving forward with the right woman. With Tessa.

“You need a break.” Riley whispered as if Luca could comprehend. “It won’t kill you to get away for a little bit. Besides, you used to love the lake house.”

“You can take me off suicide watch, Ry. I mean I feel totally loved—you coming for dinner all week, Marcus texting me a gazillion times to make sure I’m okay… it’s nice, but I hate being babysat. I’m fine.” One minor melt-down and the two of them were on constant guard.

“I am
not
babysitting. I just… I want to be here for you. I’m sorry if I’ve come on too strong. And Marcus… he’s insufferable, but I guess you already know that.”

Was that a dig? I didn’t want to broach the topic of her brother any more—it really was none of her business. But Riley’s invitation to the lake house was the first idea that sparked something fresh inside my worn-out mess of a brain. The thought of taking Luca on a pontoon boat or even just laying out by the dock in the sun—I already felt relaxed. “I actually might take you up on the offer. You don’t mind if Luca crashes our girl party, do you?”

Smiling, Riley spooned a helping of baby peas into Luca’s messy mouth. “He won’t be crashing anything!” The green goop dribbled onto his chin and she wiped it up with the corner of his bib. “And since Marcus
insists
on coming, Luca will have some male companionship. I think they’re both on the same level, too. Although Luca’s probably a little more mature.” She blew kisses at my son, who gobbled up the affection. Seemed he liked it more than his meal.

Wiping my own mouth with a napkin, I tried to remain uninterested in the mention of Marcus joining us this weekend. I didn’t need her knowing how I
really
felt: that I craved him—being beneath him, wrapped in his arms, just near him. Even if it wasn’t “good” for me.

“Get that look off your face, Missy. You want me to sound like a broken record?”

Was it that obvious? Damn, she was persistent! With her around, whatever she
thought
was going on between me and her brother wouldn’t get the chance to go anywhere. And I knew she gave Marcus the same lecture about how we weren’t right for each other. Part of me was glad that he was still being his pig-headed self—
he insisted on coming this weekend
. That meant he wasn’t giving up. I didn’t quite know how to swallow that because it might just be easier if he did.

It was unfortunate, but Riley was right. Marcus wasn’t what I needed right now. What I really needed was to be alone. But if I were to move on eventually, I needed security and reliability. Nothing about Marcus was reliable—it wasn’t in his nature. He was fun, adventurous, a good time. He liked to live life carefree, flying by the seat of his… bike?

Oh God!
Remembering our ride on the Harley made me squirm.
Stop it, Tessa! You can’t think like that anymore.

I had to start convincing myself that having him as a friend was the only logical outcome. I could handle friendship, he could handle friendship, and he was already becoming one of the best friends I ever had. It would be hard not to re-cross the lines we’d already smudged to oblivion, but it was what was best for both of us.

Riley broke me of the mental pacing. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. I’ve got your back, girl. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”

I had no doubt, but I still felt uneasy. I would be spending two nights in very close quarters with Marcus. All with Riley watching over us. Riley might’ve had my back, but Marcus was taking over so many other parts of my body. It would be really hard to keep that in check.

Friday night after work, we piled into Riley’s SUV and headed north for our mini-getaway. Marcus suggested we do our traveling tonight so we could make the most out of the only full day we’d have there tomorrow.

As I leaned over to secure Luca in his car seat, I felt a familiar hand on the bare flesh that peeked through the space where my shirt rode up my back. I jolted at his touch, banging my head on the roof of the car. “Marcus, don’t even think about it.” I looked around for Riley as I rubbed the sore spot on my head, but remembered she was taking a last minute pee-break before the two-hour trip.

Coming closer, he whispered on a huff of breath, “It’s gonna be impossible to keep my hands to myself this weekend.” He licked his lips, staring at me, and I nearly leaned in to get my own taste. His aura was magnetic and he was right. It
would
be damn near unbearable to stay away from him.

“Well, you’ll have to try.” I pushed past him to retrieve my duffel from the curb, but he got there quicker and lugged it over his shoulder and into the trunk.

“Damn, pretty girl! What the hell’ve you got in here? We’re only going away for two nights, you know.”

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. I couldn’t expect a young bachelor like Marcus to understand the insane number of belongings I needed to pack when toting along a baby.

“I hope it’s full of all those sex toys you’re gonna need to survive this weekend of blue balls.” His eyebrows danced and it made me giggle.

I decided to play along. It was too fun not to. “Jam packed, baby. Dildos, Benwa balls, anal beads… the works.” His eyes went wild at
anal beads
. It was hilarious. Did I really have that kind of effect over him? Or was he just another sex-crazed guy who got aroused at the mere mention of anything slightly kinky?

“Keep it in your pants, bad boy. I’m only kidding.”

He continued arranging the baggage to make room for Luca’s stroller, then looked up at me with dark, seductive eyes. “What a shame. I’ve been dreaming about making that sweet ass of yours mine.”

My throat went totally dry. I had no words, but apparently he did. He pressed up against me, his lips tickling my ear lobe. When he whispered, “and I wouldn’t need anal beads to do it,” I felt the dampness in my panties weakening me.

My limbs went to putty against him and I was just about ready to surrender when the front door opened and Riley bound out, her flip-flops slapping as she dashed to the car. I quickly backed away, the heat rising to my cheeks, settling in my belly and reminding me of what he was capable of doing to me. I walked away and plopped myself next to my son in the back seat.

Marcus strode around to the driver’s seat, Riley pranced along the length of the car to the passenger side, and the two of them took their positions, closing their doors simultaneously. I wished I could close the door— slam it even—on the feelings that were growing for Marcus. This weekend would be a test, but I intended on passing with flying colors. “We need music,” I blurted out. It was my code for ‘I need a distraction,’ and Marcus was on to me.

He peered at me with a deliciously evil grin through the rear view mirror. I broke the intense stare and lowered my gaze to my lap.

But my head popped up at the familiar song pulsating through the speakers. “You know The Airborne Toxic Event?”

“Know them?” he laughed. “I fucking
love
them. Better question is how do
you
know them, pretty…” He stopped himself from saying the rest and looked over at Riley who was innocently applying lip gloss in the light-up mirror on the visor.

Our similarities in music taste were another thing that drew me to him. When two people were in sync on a musical level… there was something so intimate about that. And I’d never met another living soul who’d heard of this indie group—yet another reason to feel the connection growing deeper.
Shit! This is getting harder by the second!

When he turned up the volume to
All I Ever Wanted
, my heart leaped into my throat. It wasn’t one of my favorites but he was trying to send me a message through the lyrics. When it got to be too much to take—
I could tell you that you’re all I’ve ever wanted
—I begged him to switch it. “Please put on
Changing
. It’s my favorite.”

His large hand hovered over the control. He had to get one last line in before giving in—
“All I can think is that it must be a kind of Rebellion, to arm your fears like soldiers and slay them…”

The new song took over, and I decided to just let go. If this weekend was going to be the relaxing break I so desperately needed then I had to let it be. Riley audibly tapped her hand on her knees, Luca cooed while sucking on his binky, and Marcus and I sang to each other for the rest of the car ride—poetic words that belonged to someone else, but that held all the meaning of everything we were too afraid to admit to each other.