Kayden: The Past (27 page)

“Thank you, Lisa.” I squeezed her hands and pulled her into me. She crawled on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I didn’t pull away or stop her. Lisa always made my cock hard.

We weren’t only explosive in our fights, but our fucking usually reached radioactive levels. I grabbed her face and kissed her lips, drawing my tongue across her bottom lip. My cock twitched as she shifted on my lap and pressed her body weight against me, and I fell backwards into the mattress. I ran my fingers through her hair and grabbed it in my fist pulling her face to mine.

I didn’t love Lisa anymore; she’d done more harm to me than any woman in my past. Danielle and Bridget left me, but Lisa, Lisa ripped my heart out and danced on it. The phrase ‘there’s a fine line between love and hate’ fit the moment perfectly. I was so pissed and turned on at the same time. I needed to fuck her and use my cock to take my anger out on her. I’ve never hit a woman except when asked during sex, and I knew she’d ask for it; she always did. I’d think of this as therapy to rid myself of the Lisa problem forever and move forward with my life.

I increased my grip on her hair, pulling it away from her head. I thrust my tongue in her mouth and moved it across her smooth tongue, tangling them together. She tasted just as I’d remembered. I devoured her mouth, sucked the breath out of her and captured her moans. I deepened the kiss demanding everything she had to offer.

I reached down and grabbed her sweater, lifting it over her head. I unclasped her bra and removed the straps from her shoulder as I kissed her. My fingers danced across her skin, relishing in the softness and the curves I knew by heart. I gripped her ass, grinding my erection into her as a gasp escaped her lips. “I’ve missed your cock. I want you so bad.”

She sat up putting pressure on my cock and helped me remove my shirt. I never thought I’d be in this spot again. She unbuttoned and unzipped my pants with quick fingers. I did the same to her before pushing them down her hips and waited for her to remove them. She had a pretty pink G-string underneath with her neatly trimmed blond hair peeking through the lace. I lifted my hips and let her pull my pants down as she moved with them down my legs. My cock sprang free and bounced hitting my stomach. She climbed off the bed and took both of our jeans with her, depositing them on the floor. She crawled up my legs like a tiger staring at me like a meal after a fast. The hair on my body stood up from the sensation or the déjà vu of seeing her on my body again.

She stopped at my cock and ran her nails up the length. It twitched calling for more attention preferably from her mouth. She knew I loved the feel of her lips wrapped around my cock. She ran her tongue around my balls and up the sensitive skin of my cock, latching on to the sensitive tip. She drew it in her mouth without the use of her hands. I watched her ass as her body moved up and down taking me fully, swallowing me whole. I laid there and took everything she gave for minutes – I was greedy and felt no remorse. It wasn’t enough for me; I needed more and wanted to possess her. I needed the lust and passion, and my hands wrapped around her.

I grabbed her arms pulling her towards me, needing to be in control and wanting to bury myself deep. I reached down and grabbed her panties twisting them in my fist from the side. I pulled quickly, hearing the snap of the cloth as it ripped from her flesh. I lifted her by her hips setting her on the bed next to me and rolled on top of her, nestling between her legs. I held my cock in my hand as I poked her opening. I didn’t give a fuck if she was ready for me or not; I was ready, and she wasn’t protesting. I inserted the tip before withdrawing my hand and gripping her ass tilting her upwards. I jammed my cock in her, causing her body to move slightly across the bed. I moved my arm from her side to under her back and secured her in place.

I pumped and thrust, taking all my anger and frustration out on her pussy. She moaned and screamed not giving a fuck who heard in the next room. I knew she wouldn’t last long as her pussy clamped down on my cock. I left my cock buried inside of her as I adjusted myself to a sitting position. I grabbed a pillow from the bed and placed it under her ass, giving me the angle and freeing my hands. I bent her legs placing them between her body and mine.

I leaned against her shins; my body hovering above her. I wrapped my hands around her neck as I increased my speed and depth. I pressed down on the veins in her neck, decreasing the blood flow to her brain. She wrapped her arms around my wrist and held my hands to her neck. Lisa loved to be choked when she came. It heightened the sensation and increased the intensity.

I became lost in the moment as I watched her face turn red while my hands were wrapped around her neck. Her eyes began to glisten, and my thrusting became angry and unrelenting. I squeezed and pumped until I felt her body tighten, and her pussy convulsed around me. The sight of her in my grip, vulnerable to me and my ability to end her life in a second made my spine tingle. It tipped me over the edge, sending shockwaves through my body.

I released my hands, and she began to gasp and cough, gulping air trying to catch her breath. I watched as the redness drained from her face, leaving a soft pink glow. “Just how you wanted it?”

“You scared me a little,” she coughed. “I didn’t think you were going to let go.”

“I almost didn’t. I could have ended you right there.”

“I knew you wouldn’t, Kayden. You love me too much to hurt me.”

“Past tense.”

“What?” She ran her hand across her face and settled it on her neck rubbing the now sensitive pink skin. ”I almost blacked out.”

“I
loved
you too much to hurt you before, but it was a temptation I had to fight.” Her eyes grew huge as she stared at me. “You’re lucky I have self-control, Lisa. I almost got lost in the moment.”

Flopping on my back, I tried to steady my breath. She rolled over and snuggled into my side underneath my arm. “I know you love me. Deny it all you want. I’m part of you.”

“Lie to yourself all you want, Lisa.” The room became silent with only the sounds from the living room television filling the air. She rubbed her cheek against my chest before settling in and getting comfortable. I would have wrapped her up and enveloped her with my body if we were still a couple, but instead, I let her lay against me as I enjoyed the warmth and thought about my future.

My orgasm wasn’t only a release of pent up sexual tension between us, but it was a release of the anger and hurt that she’d caused. I knew I could move forward, leave her behind and make a life that I wanted. Free of relationships and filled with sex.

We spent New Year’s Eve day walking around the quarter. I showed Lisa as much of the city as I could since it was fairly new to me. The city buzzed as preparations for tonight’s celebration were being completed. The Fleur de Lis sat atop a pole on Decatur Street, waiting for the clock to strike midnight. I made dinner reservations at a beautiful restaurant just outside Riverwalk for us to talk before heading into the hordes of people celebrating in Jackson Square.

We placed our dinner order, and there was an uncomfortable pause in the conversation. As we walked around, we talked about the city, but sitting here at the table with her, there was a tension between us. “Kayden,” Lisa said.

“Yeah?” I sipped on my beer and waited for her to comment about my drinking. Why would today be any different than before?

“Since you’ve left, it’s been hard for me to make the bills each month. I spent all the money I had on the plane ticket.” She fidgeted with the napkin on the table, “Could you help me out?”

“You already get a couple hundred dollars from me each month,” I stared at her.
Since I left?
What the fuck?
She seemed to rewrite history. Maybe it made her feel better to think it was my choice instead of her forcing it on me.

“I know, but it’s not enough. Christmas wiped me out this year, and I need some help,” she begged. “Please.”

One thing Lisa always liked was money. She liked to live above her means, and her five finger discounts helped her achieve that with her mediocre pay as a receptionist. “Fine, Lisa. I’ll give you five hundred dollars and the cash for your ticket,” I already owed her thousands, what was a couple hundred dollars more? “If you promise to send me my things, Lisa.” I wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but she said she’d send me some things from her home. I’d look at it as payment. If I didn’t give her the cash, I’d likely see nothing. Everything had a price when it came to her.

“Thank you, baby,” she said.

I held up my hand, “Lisa, I’m not your baby. We’re through in that way, forever.”

“Don’t you feel what we have? Being with you reminded me how much I love you. How much I need you in my life.”

“I know what we
had
. There’s too much damage,” I said.

She pouted in her chair, and I watched her as she flipped her phone over as if checking for something. Her phone hadn’t beeped all day. Lisa always had text messages, and her phone was more like a musical instrument with all of the alerts, but since she’d arrived, it hadn’t made a sound. “Expecting a call?” I asked as I watched her place it face down on the table.

“No, just wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed one. So this is it? Once I leave… We’re officially over?”

“Yes.” I didn’t have more to say to her. I never asked her here on the guise that we’d get back together and have our happily ever after.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you. Maybe you’ll change your mind once reality sets in.”

Thankfully, our meal arrived. We could eat in silence, and I didn’t feel the need to continue the conversation. She could wait for an eternity, but I wouldn’t return to her. Reality? It had set in. I had no one in this world to depend on except me. Women freely offered themselves and asked for nothing in return. No funds exchanged hands. No expectations or rules to contend with – reality had been pretty fucking great since coming to New Orleans.

We joined the crowd on Decatur around eleven to enjoy the music and start the countdown. Lisa disappeared for a few minutes to use the ladies room, and I was thankful for the break. I saw an ATM nearby and grabbed her money that I’d promised her. I thought of it as a going away present. I couldn’t wait for her to go home tomorrow. I should’ve told her no when she asked to come and see me. In twelve hours, I’d put her ass on a plane and fly her out of my life.

Arms wrapped around my body as I stared at the Fleur de Lis and thought about all of the possibilities that lay ahead of me. I pulled her fingers apart and turned to face her, “Don’t.”

“God, you’re such a kill joy at times,” she said with her mouth in a hard line.

“Here’s your cash you asked for,” I handed her the money and watched her count it. Such an odd reaction, like I’d short her. “I’m going to grab a beer, want one?”

“You need a drink?”

Ah, there she is – the one who questions all my actions.
“I want one. There’s a difference.” Carts were set up along the square, and I needed something besides her body to keep me warm.

“Still a drunk, I see.”

She had her money and her attitude shifted suddenly. “Have I been drunk in the last twenty four hours? I’ve had one fucking drink.”

“One turns into five, always does.” Her arms were folded in front of her, and she looked like she was ready for a fight… One that I didn’t feel like having.

“I wondered when the real you would show up.”

”What the fuck does that mean?” She glared at me.

I shook my head, “I’m cold as fuck out here. It’s New Year’s Eve, and I want a drink. Immediately, you jump to the conclusion that I’m going to get shitfaced, Lisa. I hand you some money, and instantly, the claws come out.”

“Okay, let’s not fight. I want to enjoy my last couple hours here in New Orleans.” She wrapped her scarf around her neck and rubbed her mittens together.

“Fine, I’m still getting my beer. Would you like one, yes or no?” I stood there waiting for her answer.

“I need something stronger.”

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” I walked away from her thankful for the freedom. She had always been so judgmental about my drinking, and it drove me further into the bottle. I watched her as I waited in line at a cart selling mixed drinks and beer. She typed on her phone and looked around unable to see me in the crowd. She looked nervous as I watched her eyes move and scan the crowd.