Katie's Journey to Love (4 page)

“I hope for the same thing,” Katie responded.

“I'm so glad to hear that.”
Mamm
touched Katie's arm again. “Come, let me help you get on the road.”

Katie led Sparky outside, and
Mamm
closed the barn door behind them. They walked to the buggy, and
Mamm
lifted the shafts. Katie backed Sparky in, and when they finished tying the tugs, Katie climbed into the buggy while
Mamm
held Sparky's bridle.

Mamm
was smiling and waving as Katie took off. She waved back, taking one last glance toward the house. Mabel had come out of the basement doorway to watch her leave. Katie was sure there was a frown on the girl's face.

Looking back at
Mamm
, Katie waved again before turning her gaze to the driveway. She looked both ways and then pulled onto the main road. The look on Mabel's face stirred feelings of bitterness in her…feelings that shouldn't be there, but she couldn't stop it right now. Who did Mabel think she was, anyway? Some special child who had a right to make demands?
Yah
, so Mabel hadn't gotten what she wanted when Jesse married
Mamm
. So what?

Mamm
was almost crawling along on her hands and knees right now to try to keep Mabel happy. The girl was spoiled, that's what she was. She'd gotten used to running the household on her own since her
mamm
had died, and it had gone to Mabel's head—all that bossing of her siblings. And Jesse, with his kind heart, probably wouldn't see this fault in his daughter. Of course things had gotten out of hand. Katie sighed and gently slapped the reins against Sparky's back. She had to stop thinking these nasty thoughts about Mabel or she would be all out of sorts when she arrived at Byler's.

Katie was determined to get along with Mabel, but clearly Mabel wouldn't be easy to live with. Katie had already known it would be difficult, but there was nothing like seeing it firsthand. And Mabel probably wasn't above spreading rumors around the community about either
Mamm
or her, Katie thought. Now that Mabel had intimate access to their lives, she might see something she'd deem questionable. They might well be in deeper trouble than
Mamm
and she had imagined. Katie shivered at the thought. Part of getting along with Mabel meant that Katie needed a life of her own that Mabel couldn't touch. And that was exactly what she had in her relationships with Margaret and Sharon. How
wunderbah
of
Da Hah
to have looked out for her in this way. She would at least be safe from Mabel's touch with them. Even Mabel's strong ally, Ruth Troyer—the schoolteacher Jesse had rejected in choosing
Mamm
—couldn't reach the Mennonite youth group with her wagging tongue.

Now that Katie had more time to think about it, this morning's decision by
Mamm
had indeed been the wise choice. There were reasons
Mamm
should be afraid to cross Mabel.
Mamm
had no place to go like Katie did.
Mamm
was married to Jesse now, and she had to find a way to get along.

Ahead of Katie, Byler's store on Route 8 toward Dover came into view. Soon she was turning Sparky into the driveway. She unhitched in the back parking lot and led Sparky to the fence to tie him up so he could munch on grass while Katie worked. At the sound of buggy wheels, Katie looked up and saw Arlene drive in. She waited as Arlene pulled up and got out of her buggy.

Arlene was her friend among the Amish young people and a fellow cashier at Byler's. They weren't that close because Arlene was on
rumspringa
, which
Mamm
had refused to allow Katie to participate in. And now Katie was attending Mennonite youth
gatherings, and Arlene wasn't part of that group. But she was the closest Amish friend Katie had—and a
gut
one at that.

Arlene greeted Katie with a bright smile. “How's married life treating the family?”

Katie stifled a groan. “Okay, I guess.” She walked over to the opposite side of Arlene's buggy to undo the harness.

“Come on now.” Arlene laughed, obviously picking up on Katie's discomfort. “Kind of sudden, huh? Being dropped in the middle of a family with five children. I can't say I wouldn't complain myself. After all the years you've had alone with your
mamm
, it must be hard to share her. Believe me, it's different when you have brothers and sisters.”

“I'm doing fine.” Katie laughed halfheartedly. “A few bumps in the road, but I think we'll make it through.”

“I know you will.” Arlene led her horse forward after Katie took off the tug on her side and held the shafts. When the horse had moved, Katie lowered them to the ground.

Arlene led her horse to the fence quite a ways from Sparky.

While Katie waited, Esther Kuntz roared into the parking lot in her dark-blue Corvette. Esther sure liked to make an entrance with her car. But underneath that bluster was a
gut
heart. She'd already proven herself a good friend many times. If it hadn't been for Esther giving her rides to and from the youth gatherings, Katie would never have met Margaret and Sharon.

Esther could talk her head off with any boy who came around without blinking an eye. Katie envied that ability a little bit. Esther's skill came from natural confidence, not because she was full of herself.

“Good morning!” Esther shouted across the lot after getting out of her car. “Nice to see you again.”

“
Gut
morning!” Katie hollered back as a smile spread across her face.

“You look all happy and cheery this morning,” Esther said as she walked closer.

“I'm okay,” Katie said, happy that her thoughts about Mabel weren't showing on her face now.

Esther was already gushing on. “I really enjoyed your
mamm'
s wedding. It was so quaint and lovely. Especially with your
mamm
up front saying her vows with that tremble in her voice. I guess my voice would also be trembling if I could see half the people watching me while I made my promises.”

“And you're not even dating,” Arlene teased, having walked up beside them.

“That's because I don't want to.” Esther made a funny face at Arlene. “I'm enjoying my freedom too much.”

Arlene smiled but didn't say anything more as they walked together to the employee entrance. But Esther wasn't finished talking about the wedding. “I told Sharon and Margaret what an honor I thought it was to be invited, and they thought the same thing. We felt so privileged. I wouldn't have missed the occasion for the world. I don't get to attend Amish weddings very often since I don't have any Amish relatives. Thank you for inviting me, Katie.”

You don't know how much you've done for me
, Katie wanted to say. But because Arlene was along, Katie kept quiet. Arlene wouldn't understand why Katie would make such a statement.

Arlene held the door open for them, and Katie followed Esther inside, still listening to her chatter. “That cake and the fruit on the table, and the way your young people can sing without any musical instruments. They were a marvel to listen to. I'm going to have to visit more often. If you invite me, that is.”

Katie almost laughed. Not that Esther wasn't welcome to attend Amish church services, but it probably wouldn't happen. Regular Amish church wasn't quite like a wedding. No, she was
the one who would be attending Esther's youth group, not the other way around. Perhaps now was the time to ask when the next youth gathering was and whether Esther would be kind enough to pick her up. Katie gathered her courage. “I was wondering when the next Mennonite youth gathering is?”

“Let's see…” Esther paused. “Oh yes, the next gathering will be on Wednesday night at seven o'clock at Margaret's place. I can pick you up. Oh, and Margaret and Sharon have some awful secret they want to tell you.”

“An awful secret?”

“Don't look so scared!” Esther laughed. “I don't know what it is, but it's something wonderful, I'm sure.”

Katie caught her breath. “Okay, I'll plan on going. Thank you so much for carting me around like you do. I hope I'm not too much of a bother.”

“Not at all,” Esther assured her. “But we're going to have to get you a vehicle before too long.”

Katie swallowed hard and said nothing as Esther disappeared around the corner of the aisle on her way to the Deli Department. A car? That was never going to happen…or would it? At least not in the near future. It was hard to see that happening anytime though. There would never be a car purchase…well, probably never.

So what in the world was she doing running around with the Mennonite youth? It didn't make sense to get involved with that youth group. But Katie knew only that her attendance at the youth gatherings had always seemed blessed.
Da Hah
surely was guiding her since He'd blessed her with such good friendships. And—as a bonus—the friendships and gatherings gave her a life away from Mabel.

Yah
, she would likely face more disapproval from Jesse and
Mamm
, but it would be worth it.

Chapter Four

As four o'clock approached that afternoon, there was a rush of customers coming through the checkout stands. Most of them, thankfully, had only a few items in their carts. Katie greeted the next lady in her line with a smile and a cheerful, “Hi! How are you today?”

“Just fine,” the lady said. “And how are you?”

“A little tired,” Katie admitted as she scanned the woman's items. “But I get off soon.”

“Going home to a good supper, I'm sure,” the woman said with a laugh.

“
Yah
.” Katie kept a smile on her face. “
Mamm
will have a
gut
supper ready for me—and for all the rest of the children.”

The woman beamed. “You come from a large family then? Are you perhaps the oldest?”

Katie's smile faded a little. What was she supposed to say to that? That
Mamm
had just remarried so she had a new
daett
and was trying to adjust?

“You don't have to be embarrassed,” the woman said gently, still beaming. “I also come from a large family, dear. Isn't that common among your people?”

The woman is obviously making the wrong assumption about my hesitation
, Katie thought. “
Yah
, it is,” she finally managed to get out.

“That's just wonderful!” the woman said as Katie finished checking her groceries. “I'm sure you can't wait to get back home to the farm after working here all day.”

“It will be nice to get off my feet,” Katie said.

“You have a good evening then,” the woman said as she left.

Katie turned to the next customer. At the same time, she caught a glimpse of a young man across the aisle checking out at Arlene's register. Her hand stopped in midair and the rest of her body froze. Ben Stoll! Katie's heart raced. Ben did stop in sometimes, so it really wasn't anything unusual. Would he notice her this time?

“Hi!” Katie greeted her customer after realizing she'd been staring at Ben. Her voice croaked a bit. Thankfully the man standing in her line didn't seem to notice. Katie scanned his two items. He paid with a credit card and left.

Katie sneaked another look in Ben's direction. He was still there, chatting away with Arlene like they were
gut
friends, which they probably were. Even though Arlene already had a boyfriend, it was obvious she was enjoying her chance to chat with Ben. Any girl would. He was the best-looking young man in the county, Katie thought. For years now he'd had a grip on her heart that wouldn't let go. Ben was an impossible dream, Katie knew, but one she had never been able to shake.

Was there reason to hope Ben would notice her? More wild thoughts like that raced through her mind as Katie greeted her next customer. Ben never had. To him she was merely Emma
Raber's weird daughter, but now she and
Mamm
were part of a normal family. Arlene herself had said months ago that she'd noticed Katie was changing. And the Mennonite youth didn't seem to view her as odd like the Amish youth did. Was there a chance Ben might see her in a different light too? Or, more realistically, actually notice her for the first time? Hadn't
Mamm
's miracle with Jesse happened? Perhaps there was a miracle ahead for her too? Or was she only keeping an impossible dream in her heart like the one
Mamm
had held onto regarding Daniel Kauffman?

Ben shared one last laugh with Arlene before disappearing out the door without a glance toward Katie. Thankfully the store was still busy, and Arlene didn't notice Katie's red face. Arlene didn't know about her crush on Ben, but she certainly noticed things like red faces—especially if they happened right when a handsome young man walked past.

“Hi!” Katie greeted as another customer walked up. She pushed away thoughts of good-looking young men—especially Ben.

The customer didn't have much to say beyond returning her smile, and Katie quickly checked her items. Arlene glanced her way, but Katie kept her face turned toward the register, trying to steady her breathing. Hopefully her red face had faded by this time—or at least enough so Arlene wouldn't notice.