Karma (24 page)

Maybe yes. Maybe no. Perhaps one day
you will know the truth. When your memory rises out of the desert like a buried city.

But if it does, Akbar? I don't expect to live there.

Of course you don't. But remember that you and I are more alike than you know.

Longing

Miraj.

I close my eyes and imagine he's with me. Holding my face in slender hands. Lips soft and dark—a cinnamon bloom. A poet's words fall from his mouth into mine: I desire my beloved only / And there is no other wish in my heart. I touch the memory of his arm. From wrist to shoulder. Coffee skin. Thin and close to the bone.

My lover's name is Miraj.

We find each other in the darkness. Our longing is our guide out of innocence. Tongues too. We are awkward but tender in our shyness. Do we hesitate? Hold back? Perhaps only to take a breath. For our desire is like a sea. Wave upon wave. Until our souls lay bare and exposed upon a far-off shore and our grief is eased.

The young are told to wait for emotions to catch up to the flesh but what if the moment is now? Our yearnings ready to set us free from sorrow and fear?

And besides, who will show the world the possibility of love, if it isn't us?

The End

Many many thanks

for support

Alberta foundation For the Arts

Canada Council for the Arts

for strength

Rand

for joy

Victoria, David, Tegan, Leda, Mark

for reading

Charlotte Gill

Sue Hill

Victor Ramraj

Paulina Redfern

for guidance

Nadeem Parmar

for wisdom

John Pearce

for enthusiasm

Caitlin Drake

Jennifer Notman

for vision

Razorbill/Penguin Group (USA)

Puffin Canada/Penguin Group (Canada)

for stewardship

Gillian Levinson

for believing

Jessica Rothenberg

for inspiration

the people of India