Karma Bites (19 page)

I scramble into a sitting position, pushing him off me in the progress. “What? That’s fantastic.”

“Yeah, she’s still pissed at me I won’t be acknowledged as valedictorian, but--”

“WHAT?” This time I yell.

He has the nerve to look sheepish. Shaking his head toward the ground. “I told you I’m smart, Kitten.”

“Not that smart! Not that I don’t believe it, but wow… That’s awesome, Caleb. Why won’t you be acknowledged?”

Caleb groans. “Because it’s never been something to be happy about. My dad would kick the shit out of me,
‘You think you’re better than me? Smarter than me, boy?’
All my friends either talked shit or wanted me to do their work for them. It’s just not something that’s ever done me any good.”

I smile and run my hand through his hair. “It’s going to do you good now. This is your ticket out of here, Caleb.” The words hurt to say, but I want this for him. “You’re going to get to leave this town and never look back. I’m so happy for you.” I try and make light of the situation by saying, “My boyfriend’s a genius.”

Caleb laughs. “Not hardly. It’s not like that, Kitten. But…I’m thinking of seeing if I can put it off for a while. You graduate early next year, right? We can--”

“No.” I shake my head. “Absolutely not. You’re
not
staying here, Caleb. You hate it here and this will be really good for you. You deserve it.” He deserves more than this and I’m happy something is finally going right for him even though it breaks my heart to think of him leaving.

Caleb leans back on his hands, the relaxed, no-big-deal-attitude back in affect. “You’re good for me too. I told you that.”

What he just said is too important for him to try and act like it’s no big deal. I crawl forward, sitting on his lap and straddling him. Gah, it still freaks me out I can just
do
this. Touch him whenever I want. “So I’ll come when I graduate. You know I don’t want to stay here either.”

“Kitten, I… You’re the only person in my whole fucking life who’s ever been there for me. Who I feel like I matter to them, too. I don’t want to walk away from you. I can’t leave you behind the way I was left.” He leans forward. I have to hold onto his neck so I don’t fall backward. Caleb’s hands cover his face, rubbing them. I know he does things like this when he needs a minute. When everything is too much. A minute later he pulls his hands away.

“You’re not leaving me because I’ll come after. I can’t let you lose this chance, Caleb. It’s too important. You need to do what’s best for you.”

“See? That’s just what I mean.”

We don’t talk anymore. Caleb’s mouth comes down on mine and we kiss. Kiss until there’s no one else in the world except us. Until there’s not thoughts of him leaving, of me staying behind. Until my heart is forged together with his, just like our mouths.

***

It’s been a couple days since Caleb and I had our last make-out session in the woods. I still can’t get over how he makes me feel. Does he love me? He didn’t say it, but what he did say, in some ways it means so much more. He hates this place, but he would stay for me. That has to mean something, right?

I smile, missing him. We’d separated right after school today because he had a couple jobs to do. How pathetic am I? A few extra hours without him and I’m practically crying into my pillow. Okay, maybe not that bad, but still.

I jump when I hear a light rapping sound from my window. My body goes right into action. It has to be Caleb, right? He must have missed me as much as I missed him! I slip the lock open and slowly open my window.

It’s not Caleb.

It’s Gabe.

I’m caught between being bummed it’s him and excited because it’s been so long since I have seen him. “Hey. What are you doing here?”

“I can go, if you want. I just thought...”

“No!” I whisper/yell, wanting him to know I’m serious, but not wanting Mom to hear. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

Gabe shrugs. “I miss you. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.”

“I miss you too.” I miss my friend.

“We’re friends, right?”

“Of course!” I smile at him “I told you that. You’re one of my only friends, Gabe.”

His voice sounds off. I can’t really explain how, but he sounds different. Agitated. “Can I trust you? I mean, can I talk with you honestly for a minute? I care about you, and I’m a little worried.”

“Always, be honest with me. You don’t have to worry about me though. Everything is good.” What’s with guys and always being worried? Like as a girl, I can’t take care of myself or something.

“It’s about your boyfriend.”

I actually feel the color drain from my face. Did they see each other? Fight. “Is he okay?”

Gabe shakes his head. Worry spikes inside me. “I don’t think he’s being honest with you, Abigail. I don’t trust him. I’m afraid he’s going to hurt you.”

Relief starts to replace the worry. “Funny, he says the same thing about you.” I try and play it off like his words don’t affect me, but they kind of do. I trust Caleb. I do, but there’s a part of me that still worries if this will all be taken away from me. That somehow this is some big, cosmic joke and I’m the one who’s going to get laughed at.

“I’m sorry. Maybe I’ve said too much…”

“What… what makes you think that? That you think he’s not being honest, I mean?” Not because I don’t trust Caleb, but because I’m curious.

“I didn’t want to tell you, but I saw him with a girl. She’s our age, with long black hair. They were laughing together and holding hands. I could be wrong, but I think that’s part of the reason he doesn’t want me around you either. He might know I saw them together, and he’s scared I’ll tell you.”

My heart stops. No. No, no, no. Stacy has long, black hair. Could it be? No, it couldn’t. Why would they be together? Maybe it was another girl. Another time. Before we got together. I feel like I’m going to be sick.

“I thought maybe it was his ex or something, but then I saw them together again tonight.”

My stomach churns. I’m so close to puking. We weren’t together today. For the first time in forever. My eyes start to sting. Why? Why would he do this to me?
No,
something inside me says. This is Caleb. He would never hurt me like this.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Gabe says. “But I thought you should know.

“No.” I’ve said it over and over in my head, but this is the first time I manage it out loud. “Thanks for telling me, Gabe. I appreciate your concern, but it couldn’t have been Caleb. He wouldn’t do that to me.”

Gabe’s smile is sad as he backs away from my window. “I’m sorry. I hope you’re right. Sleep well.” Like he’s so good at, Gabe walks away from me.

***

“You’ve been awfully quiet today, Kitten.” Caleb says to me as we’re walking. Our hands are linked. I’m savoring the feel of him. Trying to suck confidence from the way he holds me that this is real. That he’d never go behind my back with the person who hates me more than anything.

I hate the thoughts that have invaded my head all day. What if they were working together? What if this was Stacy’s idea of a joke? Be nice to me and let me think my life is normal before taking it all away from me? I hate doubting him. Doubting myself too. I deserve this and him and nothing will take him away from me. “Sorry. I just didn’t sleep too well last night.”

Caleb rakes a hand through his hair. “Yeah, me either. I had another headache and some really crazy dreams last night.”

I tilt my head at him. “Dreams?” He’s hinted to them before, but never gone into any detail about them.

“Crazy stuff… It’s… nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I let it go. I have too much on my mind to worry about nightmares.

“Can I ask you something?” Caleb says. I nod my head and he continues. “That guy? Gabe. You don’t see him anymore, do you?”

I almost trip, but catch myself. It’s a coincidence. It has to be.
He might know I saw them together, and he’s scared I’ll tell you.
“Um, no. Not really. Why?”

Caleb stops, so I do too. “Listen, I know this is going to sound crazy. I swear I’m not some possessive boyfriend, but there’s something off with him, Abby. If he tries to come around you, I want you to stay away from him. Can you do that for me?”

Why, Caleb? Why do you want me to stay away from him?
“He’s my friend.” Is the answer I give.

“Kitten…fine. Whatever. Can I see you tonight? I’ll come to your work and then ride home with you.”

Why? So you’ll be there if Gabe shows up?
What is wrong with me? Why do I doubt him so easily? What kind of girlfriend am I? He wants to see me and I want to see him. That’s what I should be focusing on. “Of course. It’ll be fun.”

We’re quiet then, until we hit the stop sign. “Are you ever going to let me walk you to your door?” he asks, brushing my cheek with his thumb.

I want to be excited, like he wants to meet my mom because he cares about me and not because she’s the vamp freak. “Caleb…”

“Shh. No biggie.” And then he gives me that look. Like he’s soaking me in. When his lips take mine, I forget everything, but him. Us. Because someone who kisses me so thoroughly? You can’t fake that. Can you?

***

“I see you’ve taken this book seriously, Abby. I found it shoved in your closet,” Mom says the second I walk through the front door. “You know, if you didn’t want to read it, you could have just said so.”

I drop my backpack to the floor in front of the door. I do
not
need this today of all days. “Really, Mom? I could have just said so? Yeah right, but I will now. I don’t want to read it.” This time, there is no guilt
mixed with my words. I don’t care if her feelings are hurt. If she’s upset, because I’m upset. I don’t know who to believe and it’s all because of Mom and stupid books like Modern Vampire.

“Excuse me, I need to go to work.” I start to walk past her.

“What’s gotten into you lately? You know how important this is! If you can’t take it seriously, you won’t go back to your job. You only keep it if I can trust you.”

I whirl around. “Oh my God! Does the universe freakin’ hate me?” Why does everything have to happen at once? I’m tired… so tired of everything. Of being hurt, of being scared of being hurt. Of vampires. “Did you know I have no friends, Mom? That I lie to you so you wouldn’t feel guilty that everyone at school calls me the vamp freak? That they all tease me because I have a crazy mom?”

Her hand flies to her mouth and it’s shaking. I’m shaking too.

“So go ahead. Take the only thing in my life that’s normal away from me. My only freedom from being the vamp freak. Or the ungrateful daughter who had the nerve not to want to carry a stake around with her. What’s it matter now, anyway? Vampires have already ruined my life. Maybe it’s time I stop pretending I can ever have one.”

She’s crying and I almost stay. Almost apologize, but I don’t. I run upstairs to get ready for work. Until she tells me I can’t go, I’m going to go.

I toss the last plate in the bin, not sure if I’m excited Caleb should be in in a few minutes or not. I mean, I am. It’s Caleb, but my thoughts are all mixed and jumbled. Vampires, Moms, mean girls and other boys are clouding what I feel. How he always makes me feel and I hate it.

I pick up my dish bin and turn toward the kitchen when I hear the front door jingle. I don’t know how I know, but it’s him. I can feel it. My skin starts to tingle and my insides turn to goo. Yep, it’s Caleb and just knowing that starts to make everything better.