Karma Bites (16 page)

Caleb’s eyes flicker with something I don’t recognize. He kind of cocks his head to look at me, trying to see if I’m lying or not. I want to snatch the words back and erase them from his mind, but I know I can’t. “So yeah. It’s nice out here.”

My lame attempt to change the subject doesn’t work. “You mean like Dracula? Like I-want-to-suck-your-blood vampires?”

It’s obvious he’s confused, but his words sting. “Maybe not Dracula in specific, but the neck-biting freaks are the only kind of vampires, I know about.” I cross my arms, angry at him for not getting it and mad at myself for the tears freely flowing down my face.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t…” Only he doesn’t finish. Instead, he uses his thumbs to wipe my tears. More come, but he keeps wiping them away. His hands feel so much different than mine. Hard, but soft at the same time. “I’m not good with crying girls, Abby. I have no idea what to do.”

But his thumb continues to rub circles on my cheeks. Like windshield wipers, the erase my tears, but only in a compassionate way. “You’re doing good so far.”

I know I’ve said the right thing when he gives me his
real
smile. More tears come, and he continues to dry my face. Each swipe of his thumbs vibrate through me, touching me in so many more ways than he knows. “Your skin is so soft,” he says, and I’m not even sure he realizes he said it, because he’s so focused on making this better for me, the only way he can think to do it. And I was wrong. Is it possible for someone to be more than everything? No one has or could ever make me feel like Caleb does.

I hate that I’m crying over this. What he told me is so much worse, but it’s freeing too, the tears and the truth because I’ve never shared them before.

When the tears finally slow, he asks, “You want to talk about it?”

To my surprise, I nod my head yes. Caleb wraps his hand around mine and in that second, I know everything is changing.

We walk over to a big rock that rests a few feet from the water and sit down. Despite my affirmation a few minutes ago, I don’t talk.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, ya know? I mean, I’m here if you want to talk, but if you don’t want to, I get it. It’s not a tit for tat kind of thing. I only told you so you know why I’m such a jerk. I just don’t want to screw things up with you.”

I look at him, no longer biting my tongue. “No, I want to tell you. I trust you, Caleb, and you’re not a jerk.”

He gives my hand a squeeze and I know it’s to comfort me. “So, your mom believes in vampires, huh? That’s… different.” And then he laughs, shaking his head. “That was lame. I’m sorry.”

It makes me smile. For the first time, I feel like we’re totally on equal ground. Usually he’s so at arms-length, and always so comfortable in his skin while I’m the one opening mouth and inserting foot. It’s fun to see him navigate the same waters I swim in.

“Yeah, it’s different, but it’s all I know.” I look down at our hands just because I like to see them locked together. The way our fingers blend and match together like a puzzle. It makes it easier for me to talk to him. “Listen, she’s not like straightjacket, psycho crazy, it’s just--”

Caleb interrupts me. “Hey, I’m not the type to judge. Believe me. I know how screwed up my life is. I’m pretty sure I take the cake in the weirdness department.”

His comment doesn’t make sense to me. “Just because of your parents? It’s terrible, but not so much weird.”

“Later,” is all he says. Then I swear, the way he’s looking at me, he’s never looked at me like this before. His eyes slide from mine to my lips, before meeting me in the eyes again. I shiver, and not because I’m cold, but because I feel his eyes on me,
in
me. And then, he snaps out of it. “So, no straightjacket. Got it.”

Nice.

I crinkle my brow at him, but continue. “She’s um… believed in vampires my whole life. That’s what I meant when I told you she was overprotective. Really, Mom thinks if I’m out after dark, I’m going to come home with holes in my neck and a new set of teeth.”

“You don’t have to make light of it.”

His words take me by surprise. “What?”

“If you don’t want, you don’t have to make light of it.”

How did he know? “It’s easier that way. Anyway, I’m an expert on the undead. I can tell you all the supposed ways to kill a vampire. Mom is super cautious about who she invites in the house, hence the whole showdown with you today. It was practically World War Three just getting her to let me get my job.” I shrug. “Crazy, huh?”

Caleb smiles, “Different, remember? Not crazy.”

His understanding almost makes me mad, but I’m equally grateful for it. I know my emotions are all over the place, but I’m not sure how to feel. I jump to my feet, turning my back to him. “You don’t think I’m a freak? That I have a crazy mom and I’m going to be just like her. You don’t have to try and make me feel better, Caleb.”

He laughs. The real kind, but somehow I know it’s not a
t
me. “Abby, you’re not crazy. You’re the most normal person I know.”

Slowly, I turn to face him. My whole body is on edge, but in a good way. “Really?”

And then I’m tightly against him. My face in his chest, buried in Caleb’s scent, t-shirt and firm muscles. And he’s warm, so warm I want to melt into him.

“Is that what you think, Kitten? Do you think you’re crazy, or you’re gonna be?

I can’t say anything, because of the crushing feeling in my chest, so I just nod against him. It feels good here, tucked against him.

“You’re not crazy. Not even close.”

“But I might be some day. Maybe not, now, but she wasn’t when she was my age either. I…” I’m going to tell him about my dad. I’ve never had anyone to talk to about him before, but I’m glad it’s Caleb. “I think it happened when she lost my dad. They were teenagers and she was pregnant with me.” I’m talking into his chest, but I’m scared if I look up, he will let go and I don’t want that. “That time I was crying out here? I found a letter. It’s all I know about him. He told her he knew she was pregnant with me and asked her to meet him. She said he was murdered by vampires. I think he died and she went crazy. What if I can’t handle something in my life and do the same thing?” My voice cracks.

As I feared, Caleb pushes me away, but now I’m looking at him and it’s almost as good.

“I know it’s a stupid nickname, but remember what I said about the Kitten? You’re too strong to let something take you down. Just like with Cavanaugh, you would have gone after her if I didn’t hold you back. You’ll do the same thing in your life.”

Heat snakes around my body, wrapping me up and spreading to my cheeks. Will I ever get tired of hearing him say things like that?

Caleb touches my cheeks. His fingers tickle the same path as all the heat inside me. “I like this. The pink.”

“You, do?”

He nods. And then he’s looking at me all different again, but even more differently than before. It’s like it’s the first time he sees me. But I see him. I always have.

His hands are still on my face, but his lips are now on mine. They’ve never been here before. Heck, no guy’s lips have and I’m unsure what to do. It’s a soft kiss. Just little movements of his lips over and over. They’re closed mouth kisses, no tongues, just a meeting of lips, warmth, and tingles.

Soon, I’m doing it back, meeting him kiss for kiss. Is it possible that I feel a kiss everywhere? That they can make hummingbirds dance in my belly, and electricity to zip beneath my skin? Make me feel too hot, but perfect at the same time? It is possible because that’s what I feel right now.

He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth a little before peppering more of his soft kisses to my lips and then his tongue teases the seam of my mouth. I don’t have to be asked twice. Hoping I’m doing this right, hoping those hummingbirds can fight off the nerves inside me, I open up for him. Letting his tongue touch mine. It’s a game of give and take, of exploration as he tastes me and I taste him. I learn his mouth and then he learns mine. I’m dizzy. I can hardly breathe air, so I breathe Caleb instead.

And then the game is over. He pulls away, but not before one more of those gentle, closed mouth kisses. If he wasn’t holding me, I’d probably fall. Caleb can kiss and I can only hope by the way he’s smiling at me, I can too.

“The other day you said you weren’t anything special. You’re wrong, Caleb. You are someone very, very special.”

And those words earn me another kiss. Go me!

Sunday morning Mom wakes me up and tells me she wants us to spend the day together. Me? I want to sit around and touch my lips all day. Or better yet, go back to Caleb’s and maybe his mouth can touch them a little more. Since that’s obviously not an option, I settle on finding that exact moment our lips touched in my mind.

I remember it while eating breakfast. Touch my lips. Sigh.

It pops into my head while we go for a drive. Touch my lips, like I can hold his kiss in. Sigh.

When the couple in the romantic comedy we go see kiss? Yep, I’m definitely remembering our kiss now. My lips tingle and I can’t stop wondering if he’ll do it again tomorrow. I mean, are we a couple now? I know he’s planning on leaving town soon, but will we be together until then? Will he change his mind? Is he going to treat me differently at school?

“Did you like the movie?” Mom interrupts my thoughts. We’re back in the car now, driving toward him. I immediately feel guilty because I’ve been distracted all day. This is the first time in a long while we’ve spend time together without fighting and here I am playing reruns of my make-out session with Caleb over and over in my head.

“Yeah. It’s was cute. Did you?”

“You know I’m a softie when it comes to romance. Of course I liked it.” Mom smiles at me.

“Me too,” I mumble. I never was real romantic before, but a sexy pair of green eyes and some kissing can change a girl’s mind real quick. She tried so hard today that I want to make an effort too. “Wanna go get some ice cream? My treat.” It’s fun to say that. My job may be boring, but it’s putting a little bit of money in my pocket.

Mom smiles. “Sure.” We head over to the ice cream parlor. She gets a strawberry shake and I get chocolate. We sit in one of the polka dot booths in the corner. “How’s school going?” she asks.

“Good.” I think about the way The LP has left me alone lately. How I might have a boyfriend when I show up at Karma High tomorrow and change my mind, “Great, actually.”

We play that back and forth game for a bit, talking about work, school, and all that jazz. I’m trying to pay attention. I really am, but my thoughts keep going back to the boy in the cabin. The one who’s alone. Oh, and the one who likes to kiss me. Somehow it makes me start wondering about my dad too. About him and Mom.

I stir my milkshake with the straw. “Mom? Can I ask you something?” My nerves are rattling slightly. We’ve never been able to calmly talk about this subject, but then, I’ve never brought it up in this context before either.

“Of course, kiddo. You can always ask me anything.”

I sigh, because we both know that isn’t true. “I want to ask you something about my dad. Not about,” I lower my voice. “You know… but something happy. I want a good memory. Like something about how you guys met or something sweet he did for you?” My eyes are really taking in my milkshake because I’m scared to look at her. I never realized I need this, but I do. I need something about them.

Realizing I can’t make eyes with my drink all day, I slowly raise my head to look at her. Her eyes are on me and I have a feeling they’ve never left. “Please?” I ask.

Slowly, she nods her head. “Well, let’s see. You want to know how we met?” It’s obvious she’s trying to sound much braver than she feels. Her voice is shaky. “This is a little embarrassing, because it was my being careless that brought us together. I’d snuck out of my house. I was eighteen, but still lived at home. They weren’t the type to let me go to parties and I always thought I knew better than they did.”