Kami Cursed (Dragon and Phoenix) (15 page)

Instead, I found
the longhaired man.  He was silent as ever, and his face was still shadowed,
but I could see a glimpse of his features here and there as he moved toward
me.  The dragon coiled around him, like a wreath of smoke.  The man wore his
long, black hair draped over one shoulder, and the dragon perched its front
feet on the other.  He wore his typical white get-up, only this time I
recognized it as traditional Japanese clothing- like the stuff Ryuu’s
grandmother wore in the old photos.  I wanted to ask him who he was, but I
still couldn’t quite form words.

The dragon was
grinning at me from the man’s shoulder.  Without thinking, I stepped forward
and lifted a hand to stroke his head.  He didn’t stop me or pull away from my
reaching hand.  I was right; his fur was unbelievably silky to the touch,
flowing through my fingers like water.  And then I burst into flames. 

It didn’t hurt,
being on fire.  But I could feel the heat, lifting my hair and coating me in
red.  My arm, reaching out to touch the dragon, was coated in flames.  The fire
danced like a living thing across my skin.  I was on fire, but I wasn’t
scared.  I wasn’t burning.  I wasn’t on fire-
I was the fire
.

My eyes met the
eyes of the man.  They were topaz, just like the dragon’s.  The shadows played
over his face, still keeping him hidden from me.  I stood my ground when he
stepped closer.  The flames engulfed him too, but it didn’t seem to bother
him.  He lifted big, graceful hands, hidden until now in the deep sleeves of
his shirt, and placed them on my shoulders.  The sensation echoed the feel of
Ryuu’s hands on me in the real world. 

He was much
taller than me, broad-shouldered and intimidating.  I looked up at him as he
tilted his head, watching the flames that stretched above us toward the sky. 
He was wreathed in fire, and it seemed to make him easier to see.  I could just
make out his wide mouth then, and the corners turned up in a beautiful, angelic
smile as he watched my fire dance around us. 

He lowered his
head to look into my eyes, and I felt that he was happy.  I’d never gotten this
impression from him before.  His presence had always felt stern and imposing. 
His features were still indistinct, but I got a glimpse of high cheekbones and
almond eyes, and I felt that I should recognize him.  I stared hard, trying to
see through whatever was stopping me.  I felt like I was almost there, the
shadows falling away in layers, when the dragon’s head jerked up, drawing my
attention.  He gave me a wry look.  Then there was a loud noise.  I jumped and
my eyes flew open, destroying the vision.

I was in Ryuu’s
bedroom, sitting on the carpet.  No dragon.  No mysterious man.  No fire.  Just
Dawn, standing in the doorway, looking embarrassed as she picked up the box she
had dropped.  I blinked at her, feeling disoriented. 

Ryuu took a deep
breath behind me, reminding me that I was sitting between his legs, leaning
against him with his arms wrapped around my shoulders.  I sat up hastily.  Dawn
slid the box onto his desk.  “Some more things came from Japan,” she said
cheerily.  “Maybe you guys should study in the living room from now on?”  She
cocked an eyebrow at me and my face flamed. 

I rushed to
assure her.  “We weren’t…”  But Ryuu cut me off, standing and crossing the room
to examine the box. 

“Is this from Obaasan?” 
He peered at the address label.
Dawn nodded.  “Probably some more of your mom’s stuff.”  She patted his
shoulder and left the room.

I cleared my
throat uncomfortably.  “Um… so.  Your mom’s stuff?”

His dark eyes
met mine and he stared at me for a minute.  The look on his face was something
I’d never seen before.  Completely unfathomable.

“How was your
meditation?”

“Ah…” I
stammered.  “It was interesting.”

The strange
expression melted into a smile.  “Did you manage to take your mind off what was
bothering you?”

I nodded
emphatically.  “Definitely.”

“Come on, let’s
go to the living room before Dawn has a stroke.”  He was still smiling when he
turned and left the room.  The expression reminded me of the dragon.  Why did I
feel like he was laughing at me?

*****

The breeze
ruffled my hair and made the damp leaves on the ground flutter dully as it
passed.  It wouldn’t be too long and everything would be covered in snow. 

“Mom used to
make me picnics, and we’d sit out here and eat,” I said off-hand.

Ryuu looked down
at me, the bright sun behind him casting his face in shadows and making it
nearly impossible to see his features.  “Why did your mom leave?”

He shaded his
face with his hand and I could see his dark eyes.  They were worried.  I think
he was afraid, as everyone always was these days, of bringing up my mom.  He
knew full well that missing her wasn’t what had caused me to plunge into
insanity.  Still, there may have been something to all that nonsense the
doctors and psychologists spouted about difficulty coping.  Maybe something in
me was weak, and that was why I’d been so easily possessed by the evil thing.

I spread my arms
out in the grass, like I was making a snow angel, and looked up at the flat
layers of clouds overhead.  You couldn’t see them moving today like you could
some other times.  These ones were slow and grey-tinged.  They seemed so still
and permanent; you wouldn’t think that they were already on their way, drifting
by.  Tomorrow they’d be gone.  Maybe replaced with other clouds.  The cold,
watery sun was doing its best to shine through them, but it was losing the
battle.  I knew how the poor thing felt.

“I was only
nine,” I said finally.  “I don’t remember much about what happened- you know,
what led up to her leaving.”

I only had the
one memory, really.  “I remember Mom staring out the kitchen window, looking
out at the back yard, just staring.  She looked so… absent.  Like she wasn’t
really there, you know?”  I sighed.  I could still remember the pink plaid
shirt she was wearing, and the way her hair was falling out of its bun.  “I
asked her ‘what’s wrong mommy?’”

“She just turned
to me and looked at me like she didn’t know me.  It doesn’t sound like much
now, but for a little girl it was scary.  Then she said ‘I don’t remember.’”

Ryuu was still
staring down at me, watching my face with his dark, perceptive eyes.  “She
always wore this broach.  Something grandma gave her.”  I gestured at my chest,
“Just here.  Or sometimes on a necklace or pinned in her hair.”  I put my
closed my eyes against the glare of the sun and the deceptive clouds.  I
remembered it glittering like a treasure in the sun that was coming in the
window.

“It looked so
shiny, and mom looked so… dull.  Dad came in then and kissed her on the
forehead.  He didn’t notice that she still looked confused.”

I curled my
fingers into the tickling blades of grass.  “That’s the last time I ever saw her. 
She left without any warning.  There was no fighting- at least none I ever
saw.  She must have been having an affair or something.  Maybe that’s why she
was always so forgetful.”  Now that I was a bit older, I imagined she had been
thinking of her dashing, exciting lover.  Maybe she’d had
him
on her
mind so much that she didn’t notice her plain, boring old family anymore.

Ryuu let out his
breath, but he didn’t say anything.  “For a long time, we thought she would
just come back one day the same way she’d left.  She never did.  Not once.  She
sends me postcards and says she’ll call, but she always forgets.”

I took a deep
breath and let it all wash out of me.  “Like you told me once, it’s not like
she died.  She’s still out there somewhere.  It doesn’t really compare to your
parents.”

Ryuu shook his
head and the thin sun glistened in his dark hair.  “No, it’s not the same.  I
think…I think it’s almost worse somehow.”

I stared up at
him, while he tried to explain.  “My parents- they were taken away from me.”  He
said decidedly.  “They had no choice in it.  They didn’t leave me.  Your mom
chose
to leave.  That makes it more painful for you, I think.”

I lifted my hand
and wiped away the wetness that had somehow sprung from my eyes.  “I suppose
you’re right.”  I sighed.  “Maybe I was just a terrible kid- I know I was
stubborn and full of energy- maybe I was just too much for her.”

“I bet that’s
not true.”  Ryuu sounded so sure.  “You’re always happy and warm.  You could
never be bad.”  Somehow, that made me feel better- and made me want to cry even
more at the same time.  I sure didn’t feel happy now.

Cool, slender
fingers brushed the hair back from my face.  “We’ll always have each other,” he
said softly.  “Neither one of us will ever be alone.”

He sounded so serious,
so sure of himself.  And much, much more adult than he should.  I glanced up at
him and his topaz eyes reflected the sun.  It was a lie.

“You don’t know
that,” I said morosely.  “We won’t be together for much longer.”  I lifted my
eyes to his, and the fear and pain that I’d promised to hide from him came
gushing out.  “They’re sending you away- did you know that?  To some fancy
school on the east coast.”

Ryuu’s eyes
narrowed, but he didn’t look very surprised.  “So that’s what they’re up to,”
he said with a bitter laugh.  “I knew they were up to something.  They always
stop talking when I walk into the room.  It’s like it was right after my
parents died, when people are talking about you and they don’t want you to
know.”

He patted me on
the shoulder.  “Don’t worry.  I won’t go.  They can’t force me.”

I shrugged him
off.  “Ryuu, what do you want to do when you grow up?”

He smiled at me.
 “When I grow up?  I want to be an astronaut.”

I frowned.  “You
know what I mean.  What do you want to do with your life?”

He looked down
at me, his mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “What I’m doing right now.”

I sighed in
exasperation.  “What, go to junior high and sit in your neighbor’s backyard?”

He shook his
head, the last of the teasing humor disappearing, and that
older-than-he-should-be thing settling over him.  “You know what I mean,” he
said, purposefully repeating my words.  He looked out across the yard, like he
was looking at the whole city from here- maybe the whole world.  “I want to
find the cursed things and stop them from hurting people.”

I sighed.  “You
should think more about your future,” I said, channeling my own inner adult. 
“Eventually you’ll have to work.  You’ll need a place to live.”

I sat up and
stared at him, hard.  “You should go.  To the east coast.”

He frowned at
me.  “You want me to leave?”

I nodded.  “I
don’t need a babysitter.  I’m making friends at school.  And Fumio is here.  I’m
not helpless.  I don’t need you to protect me.”

He opened his
mouth to protest, but I cut him off.  “And you’re smart.  Really smart.  You
need to go to college and be a…a physicist or something.”

His eyes were
like deep, black pools.  If a person stared too long, it was possible they
might fall in there and never be heard from again.  I looked away.

“You don’t care
if I go away?”  His smooth voice caught a little, cracked and squeaked.

I couldn’t help
grinning at him as he cleared his throat awkwardly.  “It’s not like you’re
dying or something.  I’ll see you on breaks and holidays, I’m sure.” 

But I wasn’t
sure.  In fact, I thought he would probably love it there, surrounded by people
as smart and wonderful as he was.  Dawn and George wouldn’t be here anymore,
and what would be the chance that he would find many opportunities to drag
himself way out here just to see me?

He grabbed my
hand.  “Kit.” 

I wouldn’t look
at him, determined not to ruin his chance to go to a great school and be
surrounded by opportunities.  He squeezed my hand so hard the bones ground
together and I looked at him in surprise.

“Stop treating
me like I don’t matter.”  He was hurt.

Anger flared up
inside me.  “Stop acting like you’re some super hero or something.”  I yanked
my hand away from him and stood.  “Just…just go to your stupid school and leave
me alone!  I don’t want to see your face again.  I’m sick of you and your
curses, and monks, and idiotic saving the world crap!”  Fuming, I stomped into
the house and slammed the door.

When I got to my
room, I threw myself across the bed and sobbed.  Treat him like he didn’t
matter?  When had I ever done that?  It was his fault.  Always clinging to me. 
Following me around like a puppy with those stupid black eyes and that adoring
face.  Everyone would blame me if he said he was staying here.  They would all
say I was a bad influence, that I was ruining his future, they would pity him
for giving up everything for his pathetic, mentally unstable friend- and I
didn’t want it.  “I wish I’d never met him!”

W
hen Saturday
came, I found myself standing by a small brick fire pit, warming my hands while
big, fluffy snowflakes drifted down like magic.  The whoops and laughter of
people launching themselves down the gigantic sledding hill echoed through the
woods.  The local park kept a nice sled run open during the winter months, and
Sean’s birthday was a great excuse to take advantage of this first, early
snow. 

“Ooh isn’t this
fun!”  Andrea was huddled up to the little fire pit across from me, flanked by
boys.  She was dressed in cute layers, like the few other girls who had decided
to attend, with long underwear under her stylish jeans, cute little fur-topped
boots, and a hat with long tassels.  She looked like she was freezing.  I
watched her cuddle up to one of the boys and thought maybe her lack of
appropriate clothing was purposeful.

Personally, I
was glad that I’d worn a snowmobile suit and thick wool gloves.  The twelve
degree weather didn’t faze me at all and, thankfully, it gave Wyatt absolutely
no opportunity to offer to warm me up.

He hovered at my
side, like a mosquito.  The boys intermittently took to the hill, gliding over
the powdery snow on tubes rented from the park’s little ranger cabin.  But the
girls wouldn’t leave the fire, too interested in flirting to care about
something so childish.  I thought it was stupid that they had even come.  I
shifted from foot to foot, bored out of my mind, as Andrea and one of the other
girls yammered on about some dance that was coming up near Christmas.

Wyatt turned to
me with an expectant expression on his face and I braced myself for the worst. 
The idiot was going to ask me to the dance.  I’d been avoiding him for a couple
of weeks now, ever since I had heard about the nightmare.  If there was one
thing I would never do with my clumsy new self, it was attend a dance.  He
opened his mouth, but he shut it again almost immediately, frowning over my
shoulder.

Ryuu popped up
at my side.  “So, are you going to go sledding, or did you just come to stand
around?”

Ryuu hadn’t said
anything about my little outburst in the past week or so, and I was determined
that I wouldn’t be the one to crack first.  I grinned at him, thankful for his
perfect timing.  Turning, I took the rope he offered me, which attached to one
of the big tubes.  I glanced at the others, but it was obvious that none of the
girls were going to join me.  A couple of the boys grabbed their own stuff and
followed us to the hill, where they raced to the bottom. 

Ryuu and I
waited until they were well clear.  “We should do something like this for your
birthday,” I suggested. 

Ryuu shrugged. 
“I like being outside, but I don’t know.  There’s too many people.”  He
grinned.  “If it wasn’t for you this would be no fun at all.” 

I laughed.  He
was right.  Everyone else was just here to socialize or show off.  We were the
only ones actually having fun, because neither of us cared if we got all snowy
or our hair got messed up.  

“Hey,” I said,
squinting at him.  “Are you ever going to tell me what you want for your
birthday?” 

Ryuu would be
fifteen in a month.  Dad had offered to take me shopping, but I had no clue what
he wanted.  And I thought it should be something good, because very soon I
might not seem him again for a very long time.  He wasn’t talking about it, but
Dawn sure was.  She’d shown me the brochure for his new school just yesterday.

Ryuu tossed his
tube down on at the top of the hill.  “Nope.”

 “Race you,” I
said, suddenly not wanting to look at him anymore.  Then I took off running
toward my tube, not giving Ryuu a chance to catch up.  I jumped awkwardly in my
bulky clothes and hit the tube on my stomach.

The hill was
huge, and I thundered down it at about a million miles an hour, over little
dips and bumps, my tube flying wildly.  Ryuu appeared at my side, but I didn’t
have much attention for him, since I was busy clinging to my tube for dear life. 
We were nearing the end of the hill when I swerved sideways, spun around, and
hit him.

We tumbled off
with bruising force, kicking up snow like feather down as we rolled in a mad
tumble of tubes and arms and legs.  I lay on my back in the snow, gazing up at
a perfect blue sky.  It was hard to breathe, and I slowly realized that this was
because there was a weight on my chest. 

I tilted my head
down a bit and met Ryuu’s dazed black eyes.  We were both laughing, our breath
sending little clouds puffing up into the air.  Ryuu’s legs were all tangled
with mine, and he flopped his head on my chest, still shaking with laughter. 

“I thought we
were gonna die,” he snorted. 

I laughed and
pushed him off so I could sit up.  “You and me both.  Did the tubes survive?”

Ryuu nodded and
pointed a little ways off, where our tubes sat innocently in a snowdrift.  His
black eyes were twinkling.  “Hey Kit,” he said suddenly. 

I glanced at him
in question, realizing that he was way too close.  “I figured out what I want
for my birthday.”

I narrowed my
eyes at him and started brushing at my hair, setting loose a shower of snow
between us.  “Oh?”

He handed me my
hat.  “Yes.  I want you to kiss me.”

I laughed and
pulled my hat down over my ears.  “Why don’t you ask one of the cheerleaders in
your class?  I’m sure one of them would be more than happy to grant your
birthday wish.”

One corner of
his wide mouth lifted in a lop-sided smile.  He wasn’t angry at my evasion. 
“No.”  He looked absolutely evil.  “You’re going to get your wish soon.  In the
spring, Dawn’s getting married, over the summer we’ll move.  By fall, I’ll be
hundreds of miles away.  You’ll never have to see my face again.  So one little
kiss shouldn’t matter to you at all.” 

I stood up and
headed for the tubes, my stomach doing little flip-flops.  That kid was
insane.  How could he just say stuff like that without even looking the least
bit embarrassed?  And how could he throw my words back in my face that way?

Ryuu caught up
to me as I tromped up the hill.  He was pulling his tube behind him and humming
something, looking around the park curiously.  “You know,” he said, as if the
other conversation had never occurred.  “I can feel the kami in this place… but
they feel different than the spirits that live in the cursed objects.”

I glanced at
him, startled.  “There are kami out here too?”

He shrugged. 
“Well of course.  It’s where they belong, isn’t it?”

I didn’t
answer.  I hadn’t really thought of the spirits belonging anywhere.  But it
seemed kind of right somehow.  I knew, from reading bits of Ryuu’s moldy old
books, that Shinto beliefs centered around nature sprits- kind of the same way
native American beliefs did.  I’d just never really seen it as anything more
than fairytales.  But standing here gazing out at the woods while the snow
drifted down, hushing everything- even the laughter of the kids rocketing down
the hill- I could picture it perfectly.

We trekked back
up the hill via a set of old railroad ties set into the ground at intervals
like steps.  “If the Kami belong out here, then how in the world do they end up
attached to something like a book or a piece of jewelry?”

Ryuu frowned. 
“I’m not sure.  You know I don’t have a manual for this stuff.”  He sighed.  “But
I’ve thought about that and, well, I suppose it’s our fault.”

We were quiet
for a few seconds as a group of kids overtook us and passed us on the rough
stairs.  Once they were out of ear-shot I replied.  “
Our
fault?”

Ryuu nodded. 
“Not me and you,” he said patiently.  “Us humans.  We have a knack for
upsetting the order of things.”

He shrugged. 
“Maybe it comes from man intruding where only the wild creatures should be? 
Maybe people pick things up while they’re out in the wild places and bring them
back home attached to an object.”

I worried my bottom
lip between my teeth, thinking I’d heard something very similar in my biology
class, about the spread of rare diseases.  How much of the time viruses and
bacteria and parasites were brought back by hikers or travelers.  “Or maybe
because humans have destroyed so much of the natural environment, they just had
to come live among us.”

Ryuu sighed. 
“Of course, we’re assuming the kami are some sort of being or spirit with a
will of its own- but we don’t know that.  It could just be bad energy.”

We were lagging
on the steps as we talked, apparently taking forever to reach the top.  Lost in
conversation as we were, we didn’t notice this until Wyatt pointed it out.  He
and a group of people from school came from behind, startling us out of our
reverie. 

“Hey, what are
you guys talking about?  It looks intense.”  He said it like he was joking. 
But I didn’t think he was.

One of the other
guys nudged Wyatt and whispered loudly.  “I think that kid’s puttin’ the moves
on your girlfriend.”

I refused to
look back.  I was angry, but at the same time, I remembered Ryuu’s birthday
request, and my cheeks felt hot.  Ryuu rolled his eyes.  The rope of his tube
just happened to slip from his hand.  The tube slid down a step and bumped into
the group of guys, the rope tangling around their feet and making them wobble
precariously on the step.  Wyatt seemed to have expected some sort of attack. 
He nimbly stepped aside.  But the boy that had been teasing him got his foot
all wrapped up in Ryuu’s rope and sat down hard, his own tube bounding back
down the stairs to land at the bottom and go skidding off into a snow drift.

Ryuu deftly
grabbed his own tube, slipped the rope free of the guy’s foot and continued up
the stairs.  The group of guys were laughing hysterically at their unfortunate
companion, but I could feel him glaring at us all the way back up the hill. 

*****

With everything
else that was going on, the threat of another visit from Child Protective
Services gradually got pushed to the back of my mind.  Nonetheless, I had
warned Dad that they were poking around.  I told him that I thought it was only
Dr. Laura wanting to know why I was all banged up.  I told him my story about
the burns, and about falling down.  Repeatedly.  I wanted to make sure our
stories matched. 

I could tell his
feelings were hurt that someone would doubt his love for me.  But he bucked up
rather well, saying that he was glad Dr. Laura was looking out for me and that
she was just doing her job.  I thought maybe he and Fumio were sharing brain
waves.

Ryuu managed to
find reasons to be at our house all evening long since their first visit, but I
had forgotten why he was there, just happy we were still on speaking terms,
strained though they sometimes were.  So, when that Thursday night rolled
around and the doorbell rang he was there with me, sprawled out on my bedroom
floor making a half-hearted effort to study. 

I went to the
door, all of my apprehension springing to life again, expecting to find Marci
standing there.  But it was a man who stood on our stoop.  He was probably in
his late thirties, with fine, platinum blonde hair and blue eyes.  He was
wearing a suit and carrying a brief case, just like Marci.  But I noticed one
glaring difference right away- he had a faint silvery haze around his body that
flickered in and out of existence as he moved.

“Good evening,”
he said with a soft smile, his blue eyes evaluating, scanning me from head to
toe.  “I’m-”

“From CPS?”  I
cut him off, in no mood to do this again.  I blinked a few times, trying to
make the silvery outline go away.

He laughed
lightly.  “Of course.”  He didn’t offer his little ID like Marci had.

“Come on in.”  I
stood back and let him enter. 

The man’s eyes
roved over our home as I led him to the living room where Dad was waiting.  But
they didn’t seem quite as calculating as Marci’s had.  He wasn’t cataloguing,
just looking. 

He shook hands
with Dad and sat in the one vacant chair.  Ryuu and I had claimed the couch,
and Dad the other armchair.  Dad peered owlishly at the man, one John Dyer.  I
glanced at Ryuu and Dad to see if either of them noticed the sparkles.  Dad
showed no surprise.  But I watched Ryuu’s eyes widen, then narrow, and I could
have sworn they looked a few shades lighter.

“Well,” John said
quietly.  “You know why I’m here, of course?”

Dad snorted. 
“Yes.  I hear someone is worried about my Kit.”

“I’ve read over
Marci’s notes,” John said in light tone.  “She had some concerns about Kit’s
injuries.  It says here that there was a baking injury?”

Dad nodded. 
“Yeah.  Kit loves to cook, but she’s a bit of a klutz.”

“Dad,” I didn’t
protest too much.  After all, that’s what I wanted to be- a big old klutz who
had hurt herself.

Dad shrugged. 
“Sorry honey, but you know you aren’t all that graceful.”

John laughed. 
“Okay, and the bruises on your daughter’s face?”

Ryuu piped up.  “We
were running, goofing off out back, and she tripped.”

John’s eyes
rested on Ryuu and there was a pause.  It stretched out just a bit too long for
comfort, so I jumped in.  “It’s true,” I rambled.  “I tripped and did a faceplant.” 
I laughed nervously.