Bishop
She squirted. No woman had ever squirted on me before. It was the sexiest shit I’d ever seen in my life. I was officially in love with her and her pussy. We fell asleep with me inside of her, but I woke up a few hours later. I just watched her breathe and sleep on me, tracing her tattoos with my fingers. Kissing her lightly, rubbing her back, just enjoying her. I didn’t plan on leaving her, but my phone kept vibrating. As much as I didn’t want to, I pulled myself out of her and laid her on the bed.
Looked at my phone and I should have known it was Ashley. I had been ignoring her all day after that stunt she pulled. I had to teach her a lesson, though, so I went ahead and answered.
“Yeah?”
“Nigga, you ain’t see me blowing your phone up?”
“Obviously not, Ashley. I didn’t answer, did I?”
“I just thought you was in a fucked up mood. Where you at that you can’t answer your phone?”
“I’m over my lady’s house. What you need?”
“Your lady?”
“Yes, my lady.”
She got quiet on me. I knew she was in her feelings, but I didn’t care.
“I thought I was your lady, Bishop.”
“You never were, Ashley. All there ever was between us was sex and that’s over now.”
“This about that bitch from the Lounge, ain’t it?”
“Watch your mouth. You disrespect her, you disrespect me and you know I don’t play that.”
“Fine. Well, can you just come over? I have to tell you something in person, please.”
I knew she was on some bullshit, but she did peek my curiosity. I looked at the time on my phone and sighed, “It’s three o’clock in the morning, Ashley.”
“It won’t take long, please.”
“Fine, but don’t try nothing. I’m committed to Kai now so you need to respect that.”
“Okay. Okay.”
“I’ll be over there in a few hours.”
“A few hours? Bish…”
I hung up. Fuck what she was talking about. I was about to crawl back into bed with my lady, lock arms with her, and sleep real good.
Kailani
He thought I was sleep, but I wasn’t. I was a very light sleeper. I felt him kissing and caressing me and I loved every second of it. It was so intimate, made me feel like the nigga really did mean what he was saying earlier. It was so hard for me not to smile or cry, to not smother him with kisses so I just laid there until his phone rang and it was that bitch, Ashley. I knew she was up to something, but I trusted him for some reason. I mean, what would he want with her when he had me? Yes, they had history but we had chemistry. I wasn’t worried one bit, so why’d I hold him even tighter when he got back in bed?
I wanted to trust Bishop. I wanted to love Bishop and I knew the second I let him inside of me, I was his and he was mine. I just hoped I wouldn’t regret being so reckless.
Bishop
After kissing on Kai a few more times, I got up and headed out so I could get to Ashley’s to see what she was up to. It was no telling with her. We’d been messing off on and off since high school. I never could seem to shake her, no matter who else I messed off with, no matter how she disrespected me. We just never could seem to let each other completely go. Might had been because I knew her before I got the money. Felt like she was down for a nigga because of who a nigga was, not what I had or what I looked like. I always appreciated her for that.
When I popped up at Ashley’s crib, I let myself in with the key she had given me, making sure to drop it on her table. I wouldn't need it anymore.
“Ashley?” I called out.
She didn’t answer. After a few seconds, I heard her feet making their way into the living room and she stood before me. Butt ass naked. A nigga ain’t gone lie and act like the shit ain’t phase me, but after what I’d just experienced with Kai, there was no way in hell that I was going to mess off with Ashley. I’d just go back to Kai for another round.
“The hell is going on, Ashley?” I asked, taking a step back.
“I didn’t know you were coming. You didn’t call like you used to.”
“Yeah, well, I’m here. What’s up? What you need to talk to me about?”
She stepped closer and tried to wrap her arms around me, but I removed them.
“Baby… why you doing me like this?” she asked, genuinely concerned.
I felt bad, but at the same time, I didn’t care. We weren’t in a committed relationship. If she had feelings for a nigga, that was her problem— not mine.
“Doing what, Ashley?”
“Treating me this way. I love you. You know that.”
“But, I don’t love you, Ash. Not the way you need me to. You knew what was up with me from the jump. I told you I wasn’t the relationship type. You chose to fall for a nigga. Now you gotta get yo ass up.”
I tried to walk out, but she fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around my legs.
“Please, Bishop, don’t do me like this. I’ve waited six fucking years for your ass and this how you gone do me?! You always talking about loyalty but look at what the fuck you doing!” she screamed with tears falling from her eyes.
I lifted her up by her forearm and grabbed her cheeks. Forcing her to look at me.
“Listen to me, Ashley. We were never in a relationship. I don’t owe your ass shit. I appreciate you being down for a nigga while I was locked up, but I never asked you to. You did that shit on your own and the way you went at Kai the other night lets me know that we can’t socialize and be cool because you not gone act right.”
“You talking to someone else never stopped us from kicking it before. What’s so special about her? What is it about her that would make you cut me off?”
I let her go and took a step back. I focused my attention on the ground.
“To be honest, Ash… I think she’s the one.”
She didn’t say anything. Instead, she turned and made her way back to her bedroom. I stared at her for a moment and left. She took it better than I expected.
Kailani
I hadn’t heard from Bishop after he left my house yesterday morning. I was surprised. I didn’t think he was a hit it and quit it, nigga. I mean, he may have been, but I didn’t think he would do that to me. If all he wanted was sex, he could have gotten that from Ashley or just been straight forward with me since he was honest and open. I should have known I couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t blame him, though. I allowed him to play me. I gave in. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to feel him. This was all on me.
I’d been telling myself that all day, but it was hard for me to believe it. After I told him what happened between Courtney and me, I just couldn’t believe he was such a dog ass nigga that he’d hurt me like this. As much as I wanted to take it as a loss and let him go, I wanted answers. I wanted an explanation. I wanted him to look me in my face and tell me that he played me. At least be a man about it and take responsibility for it. I could respect a man for that. I hated liars. That was so childish to me. If he was going to bold enough to do it, he should’ve been bold enough to own up to it. I hated cowards.
I planned on giving him until tomorrow to reach out to me and explain himself. Until he did, I was going to try and forget he ever existed and I was starting that by going and getting me a plan B pill.
In the meantime, Lay was supposed to meet me at Rell’s studio so I could record a song. I hadn’t been in the studio since I was nineteen. I’d stopped rapping and focused on my poetry because it was a better way for me to express myself, but I hadn’t been doing that lately either. When I got there and saw that she wasn’t there, I was pissed. I could’ve still been at home chilling, but I’d gotten dressed and drove almost thirty minutes to get here and her inconsiderate ass couldn’t even call me and let me know that she wasn’t going to be able to come.
I guessed Rell was tired of me pacing in front of his studio because after I’d called her for the fourth time and gotten no answer, he opened the door and peeked his head out in the hallway.
“You coming in anytime soon or nah?” he asked with a smile.
As mad as I was, his demeanor was so chill that I immediately released my tense shoulders and relaxed a little.
“Honestly, I was about to leave. Lay was supposed to meet me here, but her ass ain’t picking up the phone. Have you talked to her?”
“Not since I left this morning. You can come in and drop without her. You know that, right?”
Wrapping my hand around my elbow and pulling my arms over my stomach, I thought about being with Rell alone in the studio. I’d never been attracted to him physically. Not that he wasn’t attractive. Rell was a very attractive man. He was the same color as me with shoulder length dreads, chocolate brown eyes that naturally looked like he was always high and blunt brown lips. We were the same height when I had my heels on and he was skinny built; not too buff but his muscles were definitely cut. Lord, don’t get me started on that V cut six pack. What scared me about Rell was his mental. I’d already come to the realization that he was the perfect mix of all the men I adored and that kept me from ever being alone with him. Even before Bishop came in the picture, I’d vowed to never be alone with him on the strength of my loyalty towards and friendship with Layyah.
As much as I wanted to get back in the studio, I wasn’t sure if now was the right time.
“Kai,” he said, bringing me out of my trance.
“Hunh?”
“I said you can still drop something.”
“Uh, okay.”
Slowly, I walked past him and into the smoke-filled studio. His Givenchy cologne was still intoxicating even though his clothes reeked of weed. When I walked past him, I couldn’t help but see him looking me up and down out the corner of his eye. Maybe I was seeing things. Maybe I was seeing what I thought I wanted to see. I don’t know, but I was starting to regret my outfit. I was wearing a pair of high waist leggings and a white crop top. I had on a chunky gold necklace, big hoops, and a pair of gold sandals. After removing my gold cross body purse, I turned to face him. He immediately lifted his eyes and met mine.
“I haven’t done this in a while,” I admitted.
“Don’t worry. I wrote something for you. Once you get in the booth, it’ll be like riding a bike. You’ll be at it like you never left.”
I looked at him like he was crazy. “I write my own shit. Lay didn’t tell you?”
He shrugged before picking up his blunt and taking a hit.
“You wrote that shit I heard you spitting on your Loose Cannon mixtape?” Rell asked surprised.
“Yeah. What you know about that? That was years ago.”
“I followed your music before I even met you and Lay. Always was a fan of yours. Your whole package. Your lyrics. The way you deliver them. Your voice. Your look. All of you. I just… I don’t know… You don’t look like you can rap, let alone write like that. That whole mixtape was hot.”
I blushed. “Thanks.”
“Aight, so what you got in mind then?” he asked, pushing his chair back and walking towards me. Sitting on the arm of the chair I was sitting in, he looked down at me.
“Umm…”
When his phone started ringing, I was glad. I was getting uncomfortable by his closeness. When he continued to look down at me, I asked, “You not gone get that?”
“When I’m at work, I don’t answer the phone for anyone except my ma, Bishop or Lay, and that ain’t naine one of their ringtones.”
I laughed at his country choice of words. “Neither one, Rell. Country ass.”
He smiled before nudging me on the shoulder lightly. “Whatever, mane. You’re my priority right now is what I’m trying to say. So, back to the question at hand… What’s in that pretty little head of yours to spit?”
Licking my lips, I rubbed my sweaty palms along my leggings. “I got some I wanna do. Some on some swag type shit. No real lyricism, just lots of punch lines to recreate the buzz I had years ago.”
He nodded. “Aight, I know what you mean. I was working on a beat before you walked in. Kind of like a
Hot Nigga
type beat. You remember that Bobby Shmurda shit?”
“Right right, okay. Let me hear it.” He stood finally and cut the beat on.
After bobbing to it for a while, I started walking into the booth.
“Aye if you need it, I got some Fiji water and Arizona tea. Lay told me those were your two favorite things to drink.”
I smiled at his thoughtfulness. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
He nodded before motioning for me to go in the studio. After putting the headphones on, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. When I opened them, Bishop was walking into the studio. My mood had completely changed. He was cheesing at me like it hadn’t been a whole day since I heard from him and I was pissed.
“The hell yo ass been, nigga?” I asked, causing Rell to laugh.
“Hunh?”
“Don’t huh me, nigga. You heard me. Where you been?”
“Taking care of some shit.”
I shook my head in disappointment. I wouldn’t have been so paranoid had I not known he was going to see Ashley when he left me.
“Aye, Rell, I wanna do some different,” I said.
“Aight, I’ma start the beat over.”
“Ion trust what these niggas say. Ion trust what these niggas do. Ion wait for time to tell ‘cause time still won’t give me proof. Niggas lie like it’s the truth about what they say. About what they do. About what they want. About how they feel, but they the ones swear they real. Then they’ll say I got trust issues. That’s why I got trust issues. Niggas say I’m crazy, but I wasn’t that way ‘til I messed with you. Niggas say I’m crazy, but I wasn’t that way ‘til I messed with you.” I nodded to let Rell know that I was done. Before either of them said anything, I continued, “Or what about this… I gave that nigga my heart ‘cause I could tell that he was heartless, but I should have known right from the start that he would do me wrong. Now, I gotta use my heart less. Now, I wear a bulletproof vest over my chest since Cupid wanna use me, shoot me for his target practice.”
“Mane, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Bishop asked, walking into the booth with me as Rell looked on and smiled.
“If all you wanted to do was fuck, why you ain’t say that?” I screamed.
“Mane, ain’t nobody on no hit it and quit it shit.”
“Then, why haven’t I heard from you, Bishop? Last time I saw you, you were leaving me to go see Ashley.”
His face softened as his anger subsided.
“Yeah, I heard you on the phone with that bitch. Then, I don’t hear from you for a whole day? What you do? Leave me and go fuck her? Why couldn’t you just be honest nigga? If all you wanted was sex, you should have just said that.”
“Kailani…” Grabbing my hands, Bishop stared deeply into my eyes. “Baby, it wasn’t like that. Yes, I stopped by her crib once I left you, but it was to end things with her completely and return her key. I left in less than five minutes and I haven’t talked to her since. The hell would I need with her or anyone else when I got you? I just got caught up in the streets. You know I just got out. Niggas was popping up left and right trying to catch up and I lost track of time. I promise I didn’t mean to have you in your feelings over some bullshit. It was never my intention to make it seem like it was just about the sex. It’s more than that to me with you. I apologize for not communicating with you and getting caught up, but I knew that you had a studio session today. I came by to surprise you and take you to lunch, even though you failed to tell me about it or even mention the fact that you were so talented.”
I sighed heavily. I’d overreacted. I was too paranoid. Good dick would do that to you, I guess.
“I’m sorry for spazzing on you, Bishop. I just…”
“You don’t have to apologize, baby, and from here on out, I promise you’ll hear from me. Okay?”
I nodded okay as he kissed my forehead lightly and wrapped his arms around me. Rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs, I looked into his eyes and anything that I thought I may have felt for Rell was gone.