Just the Way You Are (17 page)

‘So about what happened between us…’ I finally felt brave enough to look up and meet his eyes.

‘Look Ava, I misjudged the situation and I’m sorry. You were vulnerable after everything that happened at the Halloween wedding and you needed someone to be there for you. I crossed a line and I shouldn’t have. Friends?’

He put his hand out and I shook it but felt a bit miffed. When we’d been at Teacup, he’d come over and started to make an impassioned speech before I’d shooed him away. Before I’d come round to see him, I’d kind of expected him to do the same thing, obviously a longer version since I wasn’t going to interrupt him. Now it seemed like Max didn’t care about what had happened between us.

So why did I?

‘I hate that I can’t be mad at you for very long,’ I grumbled.

‘Oh shut up, I can’t help that I’m charming.’

He pulled me in for one of his signature hugs but let go very quickly. I could tell he’d realised this was how things had kicked off the night we kissed.

‘Anyway, what’s happening with you and Amira?’

Doh. I’d wanted to bring the conversation round to something neutral and had failed miserably. I deserved a slap.

‘She still wants to get back together with me, judging by the eight voicemails she’s left me. That’s another thing I wanted to say; I’m so sorry about the whole her-coming-round thing. I had no idea she was going to do that and I meant what I said last weekend: I told her to get lost. I wanted to spend the night with you, not her…’

He trailed off when he realised what he’d said. His cheeks flushed so much I could’ve fried eggs on them.

‘Do you not want to give her another chance? Maybe she’s really sorry about what she said.’

Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! What the hell are you doing?

‘She made herself pretty clear, if you ask me. I’m not good enough for her. She’s probably just lonely and wants the company; she suggested we meet up and talk but I’m not having any of it.’

I breathed a silent sigh of relief, not really knowing what I was relieved about. I guessed it was because my best friend wasn’t getting back together with a complete witch who was wrong for him. Yet it felt like more than that. I put it down to a crazy-ass few weeks.

‘You’ll find someone lovely one day,’ I said, echoing what he’d said to me a few weeks before.

He smiled and nodded but didn’t look remotely convinced. I guessed the Amira thing had hit him harder than he wanted to let on.

‘So will you; even if this Mr Writer thing comes to nothing, there’ll be tons of guys wanting to go out with you. That guy you work with, what’s his name, he seemed to like you if I remember.’

‘Nate. Yeah he’s nice and he sent me a bouquet of flowers to ask me out on a date but I haven’t arranged anything with him yet.’

‘Why not?’

I shrugged and pulled a confused face. ‘Don’t know really. I’ve been busy with all this Mr Writer stuff, trying to find a happy ending for Ivy and Leo and writing my Valentine’s Day story. I’ve got to pitch it to Miranda and Paddy at the end of the month. God knows how that’ll go, after what happened last time! I’m not exactly Oprah when it comes to public speaking am I? I can’t see them finding reuniting two teenage sweethearts as beautiful as I do. They’ll probably lap up Maddie’s “modern Cinderella story”.’

‘Will you stop putting yourself down and assuming the worst! OK, so you had one bad experience pitching an idea, doesn’t everyone? You might go in there and blow them away with your idea, which I think is great by the way. Man up, Clements!’

‘Yes sir!’ I did a little salute then rose from my seat. ‘I’d better get going before Miranda realises I’m gone and throws a fit. Who am I kidding, I could run naked through the office and she probably wouldn’t take any notice!’

‘There’s a thought!’

Max’s joke fell a bit flat given recent events between us, but we both managed weak smiles as we walked to the door.

‘See ya Munchkin.’

He opened his arms and took me into them. He smelled fresh and clean and was warm to the touch, like newly washed towels that were toasty warm when you took them out the dryer. The hug lasted a little too long and we both felt the awkwardness that it brought. We broke apart with sheepish grins and stared around ourselves like that would somehow put things back to normal.

‘Bye.’

‘Laters.’

I went down the stairs like a bat out of hell, as a familiar fizzy feeling whizzed through my veins. I batted it away; that feeling could only lead to trouble.

Get a grip Ava.

When I got back to work, I saw an email that made my heart skip a beat. It was from a man named Ian Browning.

Dear Miss Clements,

I saw your post on Friends Reunited about looking for a Mr Leo Browning: he’s my father. I’d like to meet up with you to talk about it. Call me to arrange a convenient date and time. You’ll find appropriate contact details listed below. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely

Dr Ian Browning

Chapter 17

I arranged to meet Dr Ian Browning on a cold day in late November. A thick grey mist hung over Manchester and the air carried a chill that made you tighten your scarf and button your coat. Christmas was now only six weeks away and most of the shops had elaborate festive displays adorning their cosy windows. Christmas trees decorated in red and gold, flanked by smiling snowmen and jolly-looking Santa Claus figures were beautiful reminders that the festive season was on its way.

I pulled up to Dr Browning’s swish city centre practice just after lunchtime. It was a busy Monday morning and scores of people were using their lunch hour to start their Christmas shopping. Packed pushchairs laden with bulging bags, groups of girlfriends wearing knitted hats designed like various woodland animals and mums trying to negotiate screaming toddlers around the shops had all descended on Manchester city centre this afternoon. I got out of the car and narrowly avoided a collision with a loved-up young couple that were too busy sucking each other’s faces off to take notice of the world around them. I rolled my eyes, not that I was
remotely
jealous of them. I’d never been so into someone that I felt compelled to snog his face off in public. Maybe that was what I’d been missing out on.

I went through the revolving door and into the bright, airy reception area. The floor was made of white marble and an abundance of natural light came from the huge floor-to-ceiling windows. I approached the curved oak reception desk where a smiley blonde lady wearing a white blouse was sitting.

‘Hi, welcome to Browning and Wiseman Medical Practice, how can I help you?’

‘I’m here to see Dr Ian Browning,’ I replied.

‘Are you his one o’clock mole removal?’

My face flushed. ‘No I’m not!’

‘It’s all right Shannon, I’m expecting her.’ A soft Liverpudlian voice came from the top of the stairs and I saw a greying man of around forty-five coming down to meet me. He was wearing a white lab coat and, as he drew closer, I could see the lines and angles of his face.

‘Ava Clements? I’m Dr Ian Browning.’ He stuck a hand out and I shook it. ‘Shall we?’

He gestured towards the practice canteen and I followed him to a seat in the middle of the room. His entire body language – folded arms and hunched shoulders – betrayed his hostility.

I decided to break the ice and speak first. ‘Thanks for seeing me, Dr Browning…’

He jerked his head to look up at me and scowled. ‘OK, let’s cut the small talk. The only reason I asked to see you was to tell you to drop this reunion bollocks. My dad’s in his seventies now, he doesn’t need some do-gooder raking up stuff that happened fifty years ago. On his behalf, I’m telling you he’s not interested. Understand?’

I squared my shoulders and matched his glare with one of my own, leaning over the table to show I meant business.

‘With the greatest of respect Dr Browning, isn’t that your dad’s decision?’

‘In the last couple of years, he’s lost his wife –
my mother
– and had a heart attack and stroke. He’s only just starting to get back to normal now and I won’t have his recovery ruined by some third-rate Cilla Black wannabe. You said on the advert you’re a journalist so you’re probably only looking to fill some column inches. Well, you won’t be using my dad to further your career, that’s for sure!’

‘You really think this is about finding a story to stick in my magazine?! You couldn’t be more wrong. This is about reuniting two people who never should’ve been parted in the first place.’

I felt a salty sting at the back of my throat as Max and Mr Writer crossed my mind.

Dr Browning’s face went from red to an ugly puce colour. I’d obviously hit a nerve.

‘
You’re
the one who’s in the wrong, love. My dad loved my mum right up until the day she died. They were married for over forty years; they had two children, four grandchildren and an entire lifetime of memories together. I won’t have you ruining that by saying he loved another woman all this time. It’s an insult to my mum’s memory!’

Anger flared in his eyes and a vein bulged in his forehead. He clenched and unclenched his fists, turning his knuckles white with effort.

I paused to consider my next choice of words. I had a feeling it would take just one ill-placed remark for him to go steaming out of the canteen, taking Ivy’s hopes of seeing Leo again with him.

‘I’m not trying to insult your mum’s memory, believe me. Your parents were married a long time and must’ve made so many amazing memories together. Your dad loving Ivy when he was young won’t change any of that and neither will him seeing her again. She doesn’t want to replace your mum or taint any memories you have of her. She just wants to see your dad, to close his chapter in her book if you like. They met in New Orleans in the sixties and fell in love but he had to come back to England because his dad was dying and he had to take over the family accounting business. They were parted by circumstances and she just wants a chance to see him again. Surely that’s not too much to ask?’

I breathed a silent sigh of relief as Dr Browning’s features softened. He ran a hand down his face and exhaled loudly. For the first time, I noticed how tired he looked.

‘When you put it like that, it almost sounds reasonable. It’s just hard to know what to for the best… After the stroke, he moved in with me and my family; had to really, he couldn’t live on his own any more. We had to help him to walk and talk and do things for himself again, it was a really long road. He’s recovered well though; he still has some problems getting about but he’s sharp as a tack. I just don’t want him to get hurt, that’s all. Mum’s death hit him hard; if he got emotionally involved with this Ivy St Clair woman and lost her too, I don’t think he could handle it.’

A pang of guilt resonated through me. With Ivy’s prognosis not looking certain at the moment, I could be causing Leo untold grief after he’d been through so much already.

‘I’ll be straight with you: Ivy’s got leukaemia. They think they’ve caught it early and she’s starting treatment for it but that makes it even more important that she sees him. Falling ill’s made her realise what’s important and the most important thing for her is seeing Leo again.’

Dr Browning’s mouth hardened into a stern line. ‘Right, well as I said, I don’t want my dad getting hurt again so…’

‘Please!’ I cut across him and his jaw dropped. ‘Why don’t you talk to him about it, see what he says? He might say he’s not interested in seeing her but he at least deserves to know she’s trying to find him, doesn’t he?’

Dr Browning was silent for a moment. He made a little pyramid with his hands and rested his chin on it, his eyes moving around the room and looking at everything but me.

‘I’ll talk to him,’ he eventually agreed. ‘You’re right; it’s his decision, not mine.’

I spent the rest of my time with him answering questions about Ivy and Leo. Naturally, he had a lot as he’d never even heard of Ivy before seeing my post on Friends Reunited.

‘So she was his first love then?’ he asked as we walked back into the reception area.

‘Yup, for their first date they took a picnic to a park and watched the stars. She was heartbroken when he left; I don’t think she’s ever really got over it.’

‘Wow, I don’t suppose you ever think of your parents doing something like that, do you?’ He dug his hands deep into the pockets of his white lab coat and sighed. ‘You just think of them as the people who feed and clothe you.’

‘I hope your dad says yes to meeting Ivy, it’d mean the world to her.’ I pulled a scarf out of my bag and wound it round my neck, bracing myself for the cold day that awaited me outside.

‘I’ll do my best.’ Dr Browning paused for a moment and looked at me. ‘Listen… I’m sorry about how I was before. I was completely out of order with some of the things I said. I was just trying to do what I thought was best for my dad.’

I smiled. ‘No I totally get it, really I do. I’d be the same if it happened to me. Hopefully now I’ve convinced you I’m not just out to fill column inches!’

‘Oh I don’t know about that,’ he shot back with a sly grin. ‘Listen, about Ivy’s leukaemia… Tell her she should pay us a visit. We have an excellent oncology department.’

My heart soared with joy. ‘I’ll let her know.’

***

I felt a sense of accomplishment when I got back to the office that afternoon. I felt like I was in a Katrina and the Waves video and like everything was going to be OK. In short, I was walking on sunshine.

I blame this feeling directly for what happened next. Nate sidled up to my desk and plonked his perfect arse on it. He blocked my computer screen with his hands so doing work was impossible.

‘I’m going to tell you something that might surprise you; I’ve never been turned down for a date before.’

I raised a sceptical eyebrow. ‘Oh really?’

‘Yeah, and technically I still haven’t because you agreed to go out with me; we just haven’t been out together yet. It’s been a while since I asked so it’s getting a bit embarrassing now. So I’m going to do something I’ve never done before: I’m going to ask you out again. Now usually I know when to take a hint but with you… I dunno, you make me act differently. So what do you say, fancy going out with me?’