Just Say Yes (27 page)

“You aren’t kidding yourself,” he said, finally picking up the drink she’d made him. “And I know you’ll make a success of it. You’re a fighter, a survivor.”

“Well, I’ll give it my best shot and if the whole thing goes pear-shaped then I could always go back to my old firm. They must be missing their plant-care consultant, not to mention their sandwich jockey.”

Josh looked puzzled, then laughed. “Somehow I can’t see you watering plants and fetching sandwiches. I’ll bet you had a whole team of assistants to do that.”

“Not as many as you think,” she sighed. “It was all very egalitarian.”

He sipped his coffee but Lucy still couldn’t stomach hers.

“When are you leaving?”

“Next weekend after I’ve done the final changeover. You only have one booking after that until half-term so you’ll manage OK without me. And I’ve spoken to Cally; she has a friend in Porthstow who’s been looking for some Saturday work, maybe you could ask her over and see what you think?”

“Yeah. Maybe I will.”

The old clock above the stove chimed the hour. It was five o’clock on a dim evening. Time to switch on the lamps, almost. Lucy didn’t think she could cope with being seen in the light; in fact, she suddenly had a desperate need to be on her own.

Reaching down, she tangled her fingers in the strap of her bag. “If you don’t mind, I’ve got some work to do on the computer. I want to do some surfing, maybe draft out a mail shot.”

When she straightened up, he was standing in front of her.

“Don’t go.”

The shiver, as he spoke, whispered its way from the roots of her hair, down her spine to the tips of her toes. Reaching down, he took her bag from her hands, walked calmly over to the dresser, opened the door, and put it inside.

She stayed where she was, palms face down on her thighs, back straight, shaking inside. Then he held out his hand.

“My keys are in that bag. I can’t leave without them.”

“I know. Lucy, you’re not going anywhere right now.”

She needed his hand to help her to her feet because if she didn’t take it, she thought her legs, already turned to jelly, might give way. “Don’t be silly. I have to.”

“Not until I’ve said what I have to say. Do you remember the day you came in here to talk about taking this job and I said that I was only offering you a job and that it meant nothing more?”

“Yes, I remember.” She hesitated, then met his eyes. “In fact, it’s etched on my memory.”

“So you
were
upset?”

“Annoyed. It was patronizing.”

“Oh, fu— Sorry.” He raked a hand over his head. “OK. I’ll try again. Would it help to know I lied to you that day?”

She had no answer to that but he’d obviously got into his stride and didn’t dare stop now.

“In fact, I lied a lot and I’ve hated lying, but I did it because I thought it was kinder on Sara and on you. Now I know I was lying because it was easier on me. Easier than having to face up to the fact that things weren’t working with Sara and that I had feelings for you. If I had been honest, do you know what I would have said?”

He took a step toward her. Oh God, she thought, if he touches me I’m going to make a fool of myself.

“What I really wanted to say was that I wanted you so much it was hurting me. Just like now. What I really wanted to do then and what I really want to do now is lay you back on the kitchen table and make love to you.”

Smiling tenderly, he kissed her on the lips.

“I want to make love to you too. Very much,” she whispered as he pulled her against him. With that, he lifted her up with one swift movement so that she had to fling her arms round his neck and her legs round his waist for support, the peachy softness of his jeans rubbing against the tender skin on the inside of her thighs. He laid her gently on the table, the oak hard and cool beneath her skin as he pushed up her skirt. Newspapers, cutlery, and a cookie packet flew off the wooden surface as he swept them away with his hand. Something clanged on the tiles, then there was a crash as a mug shattered and the smell of coffee filled the kitchen.

Tally let out a howl and shot out of the kitchen.

Josh was fumbling with the fly of his jeans so Lucy reached forward and helped him, hurting her fingers as she tore at the metal buttons. His eyes followed hers downwards and he grinned wickedly. “I go commando. Healthier.”

He shoved his jeans over his thighs and she let out a little gasp of delight and shock at the sight of his erection which was very impressive, rather beautiful, and a little overwhelming. “You’re quite, um…”

He looked hurt. “Quite what?”

“Ermm. Big. That’s the word. Big, but in a nice way.”

His eyes lit up with pride and she forgave him this touch of masculine vanity because she was in love. He kicked off his jeans and stood between her legs as she leaned back on the table on her elbows.

“Hold on.”

“What?”

Rescuing his jeans from the tiles, he pulled a foil packet from the pocket and tore it open. The sound of the packet tearing filled her with relief but also made her so wet, it was all she could do not to scream at him to touch her.

Considering his hands were not quite steady, Josh rolled on the condom almost flawlessly and then he lowered her gently to the tabletop. Above her face, his beautiful sea-blue eyes held tenderness and raw, hard-edged desire. Then he was pushing her skirt up above her waist and she vaguely heard herself begging him to rip her knickers off. There was a sound of snapping and fabric tearing, the brief sting of elastic against her skin, and then he was pushing inside her.

When they surfaced some time later, the kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it. Clothes and cutlery were scattered across the tiles and sticky coffee, paper, and broken cookies coated the floor.

Lucy spotted her knickers hanging over the edge of the dog basket.

“I’m going to make love to you on the beach,” said Josh.

“Now?” she asked, her face flushing as he bent over, naked, to pick up his jeans. The paleness of his backside against the tan made him seem more human, more imperfect.

“Yes. Right now,” he said, shrugging into them.

Lucy wasn’t sure she could wait until she got to the beach but she didn’t dare argue. “Good. I thought you’d never ask,” she said, pulling on her skirt and tossing her knickers in the bin.

Outside it was almost dark, just a few final shafts of sun piercing the clouds over the sea. They almost ran down the green lane, along the edge of the creek to the dunes. Josh led her into a clearing in the beach grass and they stood together, facing each other. She helped him out of his T-shirt and he helped her out of her top. His jeans were round his ankles in no time and he was unzipping her skirt. When they were both completely naked and shivering in the evening air, he held out his hand and they sank to their knees.

“What happens next?” whispered Lucy, out of breath.

“What do you want to happen next?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“Everything.”

His arm shot out and he grabbed her wrist, pulling her down on top of him. He smelled of salt and the clean night air and his body was hard under her breasts, her thighs.

“Then, I’ll show you what everything is,” he whispered between kisses, “and I won’t stop until I have to carry you home to Tresco.”

His mouth was warm, moist. He tasted of coffee and smelled of sex. His tongue slipped inside her mouth, insistent but gentle.

“Your breasts are so beautiful,” he said, and as if to show her, he dipped his head and reverentially kissed each nipple, then circled each one in turn with a warm, wet tongue. She had to shut her eyes to avoid coming right there and then.

Josh wanted to look into Lucy’s eyes as he entered her. He wanted to know how she felt, revel in every flicker of sensation and emotion.

“Look at me, Lucy.”

When she did, he pulled her toward him so that she was straddling his legs, and then guided her onto him. She let out a gasp and he wondered how he was going to hold back long enough to give her the pleasure she deserved. Then he pushed a little harder and she slid down further on top of him. He rocked inside her, touched her lightly with his fingers, and rocked again. She gripped his back harder, her fingers digging into his flesh. How he loved that feeling, even though it almost hurt. He loved the way he was making her feel, the way her head was thrown back, her sighs and moans, his power to make her lose control.

But he knew she had just as much power over him and he was losing control too. Any second, in fact. Now… the next cry he heard was his own as she started to squeeze him tighter and tighter. Her body shuddered with intense pleasure and then she was throbbing around him and making him come harder than he’d ever come before.

***

It was virtually dark when they finally gathered up their clothes and wandered back toward the farmhouse, Josh’s arm around her waist. Only as they made their way along the green lane in the dusk did Lucy realize how cold she was. Josh must have felt her shiver because he turned to her, his eyes full of concern.

“Do you want my T-shirt on over your top?”

“But you’ll be freezing then.”

“I don’t care.”

She stopped and kissed him on the lips. “But I do and it’s not far home now.”

At the end of the lane, the chimneys of the farmhouse came into view and Josh stopped.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“I need to know what’s next.”

Her heart flipped and a tingle ran down her spine. “We’re going back for a hot shower, I hope,” she said. “And to see if Tally is OK after witnessing us wrecking half the kitchen.”

He stroked her hair as she gazed up at him. “A shower sounds great, Lucy, but you know I didn’t mean that.”

Of course she knew. She knew exactly what he meant.

“I know I said—claimed—I didn’t want to get involved after I’d split with Sara, but I was talking crap. I thought it was too soon, but what I know now is that I’ve thought about you for a long time.”

“I’ve thought about you too. Night and day.”

“I know we’re complete opposites. I’m just a country boy, not a city highflier, and you’re ambitious. You want to leave and go back to London. I understand that but, Lucy, you need to know, I’m in big trouble here.”

Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest. She wasn’t sure whether what he’d just said—what he seemed to be trying to say—scared or thrilled her. He cared for her, maybe felt something much more than that. He expected something from her and she realized as he kissed her and held her in the cool, dark night, that this time she didn’t want to run. She wanted to say yes, as much as she’d ever wanted to say no to Nick.

“Lucy, we need to get things straight between us.”

If
he
only
knew
, she thought, coming back down to earth with a painful bump. Seeing his eyes, seeing how he felt about her, she knew that this was the moment. No matter what he thought, she had to unravel the web of deception now. She couldn’t carry on lying to him any longer. She smiled at him, though inside she was feeling incredibly nervous about his reaction. “Straight sounds good to me, Josh. Let’s go back to the house.”

With that, she grasped his hand, hoping he wouldn’t notice her trembling fingers, and led him back to the farmhouse. As they drew near, they could hear barking, faint but desperate, from inside the kitchen.

“Poor Tally,” said Lucy as they rounded the corner of the building into the farmyard.

“Yeah. She must be crossing her legs for a walk and I don’t quite think she can understand why.”

The gate clattered behind them as Josh quickened his step and opened the oak door, letting Lucy in first. Tally almost leapt on them both, barking, tail whirring like a mini-helicopter.

“She must have thought I’d done you in,” said Lucy, laughing as the dog almost licked Josh clean away.

“OK, girl,” he was saying as Tally ran to the front door, pawing it in desperation.

“Lucy, I have to take her out. I’ll be five minutes, I promise. Or you can come with me.”

Lucy wanted his full attention when she told him what she’d done; just enough time to think how she was going to tell him but not enough to chicken out. “Five minutes? Do you promise?”

“Four and a half,” he said, kissing her cheek before the wildly excited Tally shot out into the night.

When he’d shut the door behind him. Lucy surveyed the fallout from their lovemaking. Then she began to gather up newspapers and packets from the floor. Her fingers shook as she picked up the shards of broken mug off the tiles. The smell of the coffee was making her feel faintly sick, but that was nothing to the prospect of trying to unweave her web of lies. She loved him so much it hurt, physically, in her chest, in her stomach. What did he feel for her? Was it a fragile, shallow thing or something more robust and deep? The strength of her feelings for him terrified her. She felt vulnerable in a way that was almost overwhelming. They hadn’t known each other that long and what if Sara was right? Now he’d had what he wanted, would he lose interest in her? As she wrapped the pieces of china in some newspaper, she heard the gate clang shut and knew it was time.