Just One Week (Just One Song) (25 page)

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

She nods. “It’s understandable. I can increase your pain meds a little bit but you’re going to be in pain for a few weeks.” She takes a seat in the chair Chase just left and leans forward with her hands clasped on the bed. It’s an incredibly relaxed bedside manner for a doctor to take with a patient and I feel my nerves start buzzing across my skin.

“Everything went as perfect as it could, Mia. You have some drains that will need to be taken care of for the next couple of weeks as you recover. Your mom said she’d be around to help you with that. And after six weeks, you’ll have to come back in for an ultrasound to make sure everything looks good, but for right now, I think it’s safe to say that the worst is behind you.” I swallow slowly, almost afraid to believe she’s telling the truth.

“How long until we know for sure?”

She sighs and then frowns. I don’t miss the quick look she flashes toward my mom, either. “There will always be a small chance your cancer will return. I’ve known you for too long to lie to you about this. But if the surgery is as successful as I believe it was, your chance of the cancer coming back is about five percent.” She smiles like this should be good news.

All I hear is … there’s still a chance.

“Mia,” my mom says and I turn to see tears in her eyes. She’s happy and sad at the same time. “I’ve been in remission for fifteen years. A five percent chance is practically zero. You’ve beat this girl, and there’s no reason to be afraid anymore.”

I let her words soak in. My mom is right. My chances have dropped dramatically, and on one hand I feel like I should be celebrating. Everything will be fine. I’m the second woman in my family to beat the odds of this horrible and deadly disease. And if I have my say, no other women will suffer from this. At least not in my family … not from me. The battle is done, so to speak.

If only I could muster up the courage to believe my own thoughts.

“I’m tired.” My mom and the doctor nod their heads as if this is the response they expected from me all along. I don’t miss the disappointment that flashes through my mom’s eyes though. Did she expect me to want a party? Pop open a bottle of champagne with this news?

The next time I open my eyes, Nicole’s head is resting on my bed, right next to my hand. I feel a little better as I wake up and take a breath. I’m less groggy from the surgery and my throat doesn’t feel as dry. My chest still hurts a little bit, but I’m guessing my morphine is working because I can take a breath without feeling like a rib is stabbing my lungs.

There is no sunlight coming in through the window so I’m guessing that it’s night time. And if Nicole is here, it means Chase isn’t. The thought makes me sad and relieved at the same time.

The Tribune newspaper is resting on my lap, opened to the front page of the Entertainment section. I smile broadly as I see the half page, full color picture of the night of Nicole’s first concert as the keyboardist for Zack Walters. She’s becoming a local legend, and after two years of dating Zack, she’s getting used to being in the papers.

This is different though. It’s exciting and I’m proud as hell of her as I open the paper and begin reading the article. At least I pretend to read. Mostly I’m trying to make out Chase in the background, tucked behind his drum set. The lights on the stage were so bright that I can’t make him out all, but I can close my eyes and see him. I’ve seen him play on tour before to know that he’s wearing a bandana wrapped around his forehead to keep the sweat out of his eyes and a gray wife beater tank top that shows off the tattoos that cover his left shoulder and bicep.

“It was incredible.”

I turn and see Nic’s sleepy, smiley face. She’s looking at the picture just like I am.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” I mean it. I hate that I’ve lied to her and kept things about my life from her. She would never do that to me. “I take it you didn’t get any shoes thrown at your head.”

She blushes slightly and shakes her head. “No. I got to sign some autographs though before we went on. That was crazy weird.”

“Girl fans?”

She shakes her head again. “No. There were guys around our age back stage. I thought Zack was going to have a heart attack. He let me sign two and then pulled me away from them.”

We laugh softly. Zack isn’t particularly possessive, but I’m betting that even he is re-thinking the idea of letting his wife onstage and be on tour with him.

“Chase told me you guys are thinking of switching some dates on the tour.”

She looks at me sheepishly.

“Don’t,” I tell her and continue before she can speak. “I want you to go. From what the doctor says, I’m going to be worthless for the next six weeks at least. I’m not supposed to get out of bed and I can’t raise my arms. I’m only going to be able to lay in bed and watch TV.”

“We want to be here to help take care of you. Keep you from going stir crazy and all that.”

I roll my eyes. “There’s no point. Elijah and my mom will be around to help me and no one will want to be responsible for entertaining me in a week or two anyway. Besides, I need some space. Figure out where to go from here.”

“You mean with Chase.”

My nose wrinkles up as she shoots me a pointed look. I lay my head back on the pillow and sigh.

“I sent him to the hotel to shower,” she says, as if she knows I’ve been wondering where he is. She’d be right. “He loves you.”

“My tests could come back in six weeks and this could all be for nothing.”

I look down at my body. I’m covered in a hospital gown and thin hospital blanket. Surprisingly, I don’t look that much different than I did before. I haven’t gotten out of bed yet to see where my scars will be, or the drains my doctor mentioned, but from the outside and well covered, I still look like me.

“And you could walk out tomorrow and get hit by the train, or a car, or get struck by lightning, or eaten to death by mosquitos.”

I shoot her a look.

“What?” she shrugs. “We’re in Minnesota and it’s summer. It could happen.”

I laugh softly. She’s probably right. We’ve got mosquitos the size of small birds.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to admit I love him.”

She holds my hand gently and stands up when I catch a shadow enter the doorway. “I think you just did.”

She leans down and kisses my cheek softly. “We’ll be here in the morning. The bus doesn’t leave until the afternoon so we’ll be around to bug you some more yet.”

“So you won’t push back the dates?”

Nicole shakes her head as my brother enters the room and takes her seat. “Not if you’re sure you don’t want us to. But no more hiding or lying to me, okay?”

I nod and she gives Elijah a quick kiss on his cheek before she tells me good-bye.

“Hey, brat.”

I roll my eyes and fight back another laugh. It hurts to tighten any muscle below my jaw. “Douche.”

“Mom said you’re going to be all right.”

“Mom still thinks there’s a leprechaun at the end of the rainbow with a pot of gold.”

“Nah,” he says, and grabs my hand, holding them tightly in between his. “You’ve got this shit beat. There are too many people who have been in and out of this room who need you too much. Chase seems like a good guy.”

I have to stifle another laugh. Between Elijah, my mom, and Nicole, I feel like everyone has jumped on the ‘Chase rocks’ bandwagon. I’m on it too, really. I’ve just never had so many people try to force me to be with someone before. It’s almost laughable. And pathetic, really, that I need such a large push.

“Are you going to threaten him with a shotgun like you did with Aiden when he took me out for my first date?”

Elijah guffaws. “Hell no. This guy could totally kick my ass. But Aiden had it coming. No sixteen year old boy could take out my little sister without being threatened with his balls being shot off if he so far as looked at her the wrong way.”

“Oh my god. That was mortifying.” I cringe at the memory of Elijah opening the door for my first date ever with one of my dad’s hunting rifles in his hands. I sometimes forget that Elijah has played both the father and big brother role for me.

The memory makes me laugh and reminds me just how amazing my big brother is to me. We spend the rest of the night talking about his job – anything to distract me from my day, my surgery, my future and Chase. It’s amazing my brother knows me so well, really.

And before long, I’m drifting off to sleep. I don’t sleep well through the night, dreams of losing Chase flashing through my mind. Visions of him walking out on me, drinking scotch in a darkened room – alone, and images of my friends standing over what looks like a blurry casket image on a grassy field with a maple tree in the background.

I’m only barely awake when a warm hand presses my hair away from my face and wipes a finger across my cheek, speaking soothing words. I can’t make them out, and I’m too tired to open my eyes, but I know without even seeing him that at some point, Chase has come back and kept his promise to me.

He will always be here for me.

“I can walk, you know.”

“I know, but I like the way you fit so shut up and let me do this before we need to take off.”

She rolls her eyes at me for perhaps the hundredth time since every one of the band members, plus Elijah and Mia’s mom, Donna, showed up to bring her home from the hospital this afternoon. I carried her out of the hospital. The overweight nurse with her sloppy bun and Croc sandals almost had a heart attack when I refused to push her out in the wheelchair. She huffed and puffed, falling further behind our group with every step I took, but I couldn’t be bothered to care. Mia’s mine, and I want to take care of her. It kills me that she doesn’t want me to, but while I’m here, even if it’s just for the next few hours, I want to be the one holding her and helping her.

Luckily for me, the pain meds they gave her before she left the hospital have made her loopy as hell. It shouldn’t be funny. None of this shit she’s dealing with is funny or laughable in the least. But the shit coming out of her mouth ever since we sat down in the car has been borderline hysterical.

I carry her into Elijah’s house until I set her gently down on the bed in his guest room. I tuck a few pillows behind her head so she’s propped up a little bit in the bed and look around.

It’s not the first time I’ve been in this room but looking around at the practically broken dresser, plain white walls, and navy blue comforter, I almost cringe. It’s a typical guest room in a guy’s house, I get that. But Mia’s gonna flip her shit after being stuck in this room for longer than twenty-four hours.

She needs color. Something bright and soft. What the hell? When in the hell have I ever thought about bright colors and soft shit? I’ve been hanging out with Zack and his pussy-whipped self for too long. It’s my only excuse.

I scan the room trying to find something, anything, that she’ll be able to do, but there’s nothing except the remote on the nightstand and Mia hates TV.

“What can I get for you?”

Mia shakes her head. “Nothing. I’m tired, though.”

I take it as an invitation to crawl into bed next to her. Might as well spend the time with her while I can. I lay down next to her, careful to leave her some space so I don’t hurt her, and prop myself up on one elbow.

“I want rainbows and unicorns.”

“What?” It’s not the strangest thing she’s said in the last hour, but nonetheless, I stifle a laugh.

“I feel like I’m in the clouds in here. I want rainbows and unicorns. Seems fitting.”

It’s the drugs talking. I almost want to set up a hidden video camera to record everything she says while I’m gone just to piss her off and then make her laugh.

But I get her point. The room is all white. But at least she’s thinking it’s like a bunch of clouds and not the hospital. I’m going to give her color and rainbows and her damn unicorns.

“We’re leaving soon,” I say to her softly. Her eyes are sort of hazy and a little bit drugged looking when she turns her head slowly to me. She said earlier that she feels like she’s getting rocked back and forth on a boat at sea. She sort of looks a bit queasy from seasickness and it kills me to leave her like this.