Just One Week (Just One Song) (11 page)

I allow him to take my hand, pulling me out of the hot tub and wrapping me in a large, thick and soft towel that feels so good it might just cost more than what I make in a week.

He ushers me into the shower where we quickly drop our towels and I let him pull me into the warm spray, and I show him everything I wish I could tell him with my hands and my mouth instead of the words I’ve never spoken in my life and never thought I would feel.

Thirty minutes later, after having the last few minutes alone in the shower to clean up and shave, I’m just putting the finishing touches of my make-up on when he comes back into the bathroom and leans against the doorway.

He’s wearing my favorite pair of faded jeans that have a few holes in them. They look soft and comfortable, like he lounges in them when he’s hanging out at home. A light cream, almost white, Henley shirt covers his chest perfectly, covering every inch of his tattoos but shows every rise and dip of the muscles on his chest and biceps. The neckline has a few buttons and the top two are done. He looks delicious. Truly. I don’t bother hiding my admiration for his body when he catches me staring.

He stands in the doorway of the bathroom watching me, but I catch his appreciative glance of my body and my outfit. His eyes are hidden under a worn baseball cap. The front of the bill is frayed and the cream color matches his shirt. The word COCKS is boldly spelled across the front in crimson letters. I can’t see his eyes but the way his head dips and he licks his lips as he scans my body tells me he likes what he sees.

I finish my lip gloss and turn around, my butt resting against the bathroom counter. I’m dressed in a long sleeve, loose fitting top. The collar is wide and hangs off one side of my shoulder. I have on the shortest jean cut off shorts I own and gold gladiator sandals on my feet. I look twice as casual as Chase, but if he gets to be comfortable, so do I.

“Cocks?” I ask with raised eyebrows.

“South Carolina Gamecocks.”

As if that answers anything. I shrug. “Is that like how men who have big engines are overcompensating for their manhood? You put the name on the hat to make yourself feel better?”

I try to walk by him but he presses me up against the bathroom door. “I’m pretty sure my cock made you feel better last night. And this morning; twice.”

A blush hits my cheeks and I turn my head away from him. He’s totally right.

He presses his hips into mine for just a second and then takes a step back. “Let’s go before I feel the need to remind you how big and good it really is.”

I’m still trying to catch my breath when I hear him laughing out in the hallway outside the bedroom.

We spent hours walking up and down the Riverside Plaza along the Napa River when we finally stop to eat at a local café, across the walkway from a gorgeous mosaic fountain. It looked like a gorgeous painting until I was able to look close enough to see the small tiles arranged in a formation that, according to the sign next to it says it depicts the history of the Napa Region from the earliest origins until the American settlers travelled West.

It’s completely stunning.

I haven’t bought anything although Chase has humored with me a smile every time I’ve squeezed his hand that I’ve been holding a little bit harder and dragged him from one small boutique into another. I could say it’s a habit from being in the fashion industry for so long, but mostly I just love looking at clothes, handbags, shoes, and jewelry.

“How’s the tour prep going?” I ask, over a bite of a simple ham and cheese Panini sandwich.

“Stressful, a little bit. We’re making this tour smaller with more time off in between the dates, but Aaron and the recording company keep trying to push us into adding more dates at the end of it.” I met his manager, Aaron, for the first time when I was invited to attend the Family Choice Music Awards with Chase. He has a little bit of gray hair and reminds me a lot of Nic’s dad.

“Why don’t you?”

Chase snorts. “Nic’s so sure that Zack’s groupies are going to boo her off the stage she doesn’t want to subject herself to unnecessary humiliation.”

I roll my eyes and my mouth drops open at the same time. “She hasn’t had any issues yet with people learning she was recording with Zack on the last album. What is she so afraid of?”

He shrugs but has a small smile on his face. I love that not only did Zack see how incredibly talented she is, but all the other guys in the band were immediately behind the idea of her joining them. It could have been difficult for them, to adjust to having a girl in their band, but all the guys treat Nicole like their sister.

“She’s a dork.” But really I’m incredibly proud of her. After Mark’s death, she essentially turned into a walking zombie for months. She slowly began coming out of her shell again but it wasn’t until well after she met Zack that I really started seeing glimpses of the person she used to be. And I mean, the girl she was in college, before Mark and the suburban dream took hold of her.

Being with Zack has given her an opportunity to follow the one dream she’s had since she was five and first started playing the piano. She just recorded her first album with Zack and his band and now they’re heading on tour. It’s her childhood dream come true, and it helps that she’s freaking amazing. She can play almost any song she hears after simply listening to it once.

“I’ve tried telling her that,” he mutters and then looks at me curiously. “Are you coming to our first show?”

“I was planning on it.” I wouldn’t miss my best friend’s debut on a rock stage for anything in the entire world, especially since the tour is starting in Minneapolis, where her and Zack’s love affair began. We talk a little bit more about the tour until our food is gone, the check is paid, and we’re ready to continue our afternoon along the plaza.

“Excuse me, are you Chase Harper?”

Both of us stop and turn to the woman who has just spoken. She has caramel colored hair with bright blue eyes. She’s wearing a pale yellow sundress with a long-sleeve white cardigan covering her shoulders. She’s classically beautiful. And nervous, if the way she’s slightly biting her lower lip is any indication.

Chase looks at me apprehensively, silently asking my permission to speak to her. It warms my heart and makes me laugh at the same time. Like I care if he talks to fans, they’re the reason why he’s so successful.

“I am,” he finally says gently with a genuine smile. He reaches out and shakes her hand.

“I’m Molly.” Her voice and her fingers are both slightly shaky as she talks to him. I bite back my amused laughter. I don’t blame the girl one bit. The first time Chase smiled and touched me I almost melted into a puddle of dripping lust in the middle of the auditorium floor. He just has that effect on people.

I watch Molly smile as Chase asks her a few questions and signs a small notebook she’s holding in her hand. She has a youthful innocence in her smile and her blue eyes. She’s probably close to my age but looks happier. Lighter. Like she doesn’t have the stress of the world pressing down on her chest.

She is someone who is carefree and whole. Healthy.

She is who I used to be. I can’t help but wonder how long it’s been since I’ve felt the way she looks. Since someone has seen that freedom in me.

“Mia?” I blink away the thoughts at the sound of Chase’s concerned voice. He’s holding a camera out to me, looking at me cautiously. Molly has a polite smile. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Want me to take your picture?”

“That’d be great,” Molly says with a clap of her hands and a bounce to her feet. I can’t help but feel her excitement. “No one is going to believe I just met Chase Harper. He’s incredible!” Her cheeks turn a fire engine red color at her admission.

I take the camera from Chase and give her a wink. “He really is.”

I quickly snap their picture and she waves good-bye to both of us.

“Where’d you go?” Chase asks once she’s gone and we look around, noticing no one else caught their interaction. Chase is always cautious out in public. He refuses to hire bodyguards, claiming he can take care of himself and since he’s ‘just the drummer’ according to his words, doesn’t get noticed nearly as often as other band members like Zack and Jake. But even then, he’s quick to get out of a public place if a lot of attention is drawn to him. Luckily, it seems we’re in the clear this time.

I try to take a step away from him, not wanting to admit what I just realized, when he takes a hold of my hand, pulling me back to him. His grip tightens when I try to pull away.

“What is it?”

But I can’t explain it to him. How do I tell him that I’ve just realized that I’m not who I used to be and I miss her? How do I explain that the only time I have come close to feeling like me is when I’m with him, safe and in his arms? It would give him too much hope there’s a future for us and it’s not possible.

Of course, my fears could be running away from me needlessly. It’s possible that my assumptions on my doctor calling could be wrong. It’s possible I’m okay.

And if that’s true, it’s possible that I could actually give myself to Chase. Completely. But even I know those possibilities are just pipe dreams. My destiny was determined for me before the day I was born, and while I’ve come to accept it, I’m certainly not willing to drag anyone down with me into my hell.

Especially not Chase.

“I’m not sure I want to stay in New York,” I finally mutter.

Chase tilts his head to the left and his eyes narrow as if he’s trying to pull the truth straight from my fragile, terrified heart. A curious expression followed with confusion flickers across his gaze as his eyebrows pull close together.

It’s not a complete lie. I’ve been questioning staying in New York ever since he brought it up on the plane. It’s been in the back of my mind this entire weekend as I figure out what I have to do once I leave California.

I love everything about being a buyer, but something is missing. I work more hours than I could ever have imagined, and we’re all stressed out all the time. I haven’t made many good friends, so it’s rare that I go out for a night to blow off steam.

Slowly, he nods once, letting me have my secrets and not pushing further more than he knows I can give.

We’re on the walkway at the top of the hill and the stage is at the bottom. I don’t know the band playing, but they sound really good and hundreds of people are sitting on the grassy hill, enjoying their music.

“Let’s go check it out,” Chase says, pulling me down the hill until we are right in the middle of the action, surrounded by families and couples of all nationalities enjoying a beautiful afternoon together.

Chase pulls me in between legs, pulling his knees up, and resting his feet on the grass so that I’m sitting in front of him, my head resting on his chest. He keeps his arms crossed around me, his fingers alternating between resting on his knees and tapping out a drum rhythm along with the music.

Occasionally I bend down and kiss his callused finger tips and he responds by trailing light kisses along my neck and shoulder that make me feel like the weather is ten degrees warmer than it truly is.

I shiver when he nudges his lips up to my ear, his slightly scruffy chin and cheeks scraping across my sensitive skin.

It’s the most romantic moment in my life, and I almost wish we could stay here forever, where nothing can hurt us. Just the music and the sky and the breeze in the air, holding us steady and keeping us close to one another.

“Thank you for a great date today. I’ve had so much fun.” Being with you. Holding you. Thinking it might be possible for me to maybe, someday, love someone. These are all the thoughts swirling in my head as we slowly rock back and forth to the music, his arms wrapped around me and pulling me close against him. But no matter how hard I want to say them, they’re caught in my throat.

“I think I might be in love with you, Mia.” I tense under his hands, shocked by the words that come out of his mouth out of nowhere. He must know I want to pull away, but he won’t let me.

“Chase,” I start to protest, but shut my mouth when he shushes me. His declaration is coming too closely on the heels of my own realization that I like him a lot more than I’m willing to admit to anyone, especially myself.

“I know you won’t say it. I don’t even know if you feel it yet, but I just had to let you know. If I thought it wouldn’t make you run away from me forever, I’d tell you that I just don’t think it; I know it. But I can wait to tell you I know for sure, when you realize you love me too.”

My breathing increases, all the comfort of our afternoon vanishes in the blink of an eye. I feel hot and uncomfortable underneath Chase’s arms; the arms that just a few minutes ago brought me so much warmth.

We don’t speak again until the music is done and we’re back at our car. I have no idea how many songs I listened to by the band that I had been enjoying so much. I don’t remember passing the gorgeous mosaic again or the boutique I wanted one last peek at. Chase’s words and declaration of love is almost too much for my guarded little heart to handle. It’s like he has an ice pick and he’s slowly trying to pick away at every defense I have.