Just Make Him Beautiful (12 page)

“Well
,
Ray, I don’t want you to do it to her and then come home and do it to me.”

“How you know I’m gonna do it to you when I come home?”

I was so angry
,
I couldn’t believe
what came out of my mouth. “If you don’t
,
I’ma tell Mommy what you been doing to me
,
” I
said,
my arms folded and my lips poked out.

B
efore I had a chance to move, Ray grabbed me by my collar
,
threw me on the floor
,
and slapped me several times in the face
.
“If you ever tell anybody, I will hurt you so bad, you’d wish you were dead.”

I had never seen Ray so angry
,
except
for
the time he beat up Junior on the basketball court. To be honest, I
was
so sorry I said that because I really didn’t mean it
.
I
hated that Ray was mad with me
,
e
specially on my birthday.

“Ray, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it,” I plead
ed as he kneeled over me
,
deciding whether
or not
to hit me again.

After contemplating a few seconds, Ray then got up and walked out of our bedroom. I got up as fast as I could and walked out into the living room where everyone was eating and enjoying my birthday party.

“There’s the birthday boy.
”
Ms.
Washington
kissed me on the cheek
and wished me happy birthday.
“
Where you been hiding?” 

“Thank you
,
Ms.
Washington
,
but I had to go to the bathroom
.
”

I watch
ed
my mom take a few pictures of Ray with his tuxedo on.

“My baby
has
grown up
,
and good
-
looking as ever,”
she
said
proudly
as she snapped picture after picture of Ray.

“Ok
ay,
M
other
, that’s enough.
”
Ray kissed Mother on the fore
head and exited the apartment.
“
I gotta go
.
”

I tried my best to have fun at my own birthday party
,
but I couldn’t stop thinking
about how mad Ray was with me.
Robin tried to cheer me up
,
but I still couldn’t get over what I
’d
said to Ray. Even wors
e
, I couldn’t stop thinking about
what
he’d
said about hurting me
.
T
he look in his eyes
scared the shit out of me.

Robin and
I
hung out in the kitchen because I really didn’t feel like partying
and hanging with all the others
,
even though it was my party.

“Look
,
Ms. Thang
, what’s going on with you? You are walking around here being sad and everything. Did somebody say sumf’n bad to you? Who was it
?
I’ll cuss
’em out,” Robin said
,
rolling her neck
,
her hands on her hips.

“No, nobody said anything bad to me
.
I guess I’m just not feeling well
.
”

“
Po
thang
.
I
s my baby having her first period
?
” Robin whispered
,
and then
she
started laughing.

“
Chile
boo, ain’t nobody having no period
,” I replied, snapping my fingers. “B
esides, that was last week
,
bitch
.
”

We both broke out laughing
.

I couldn’t wait until my birthday party was over
,
so I could just go to my room and wait for Ray to come home.

My mother yelled,
“Cameron
!
”

“Ma
’am
,
” I yelled back from the kitchen.

Mother grabbed me by the hand and dragged me into the living room, where the music was playing.
“Come on and dance with me
.
”

I hated when my mother started drinking. Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t an alcoholic or anything
,
but when she drank, she always wanted me to show her the latest dances. I must admit, I knew all the latest dances
,
but teaching my mother how to dance was like teach
ing
her algebra
.
S
he
didn’t know how much two plus two was and
had two left feet.

Besides,
I really wasn’t in the mood to dance
,
although dancing usually made me feel better when I was
feeling down.
M
y mother made it hard to say no while everyone stood around waiting for me to dance with
her
.

I started feeling the music as it played
,
and my body finally got into it. Before I knew it, I was bumping, grinding
,
and doing all the latest dances as my mom tried to copy my every move. I was definitely feeling better as I shook my ass around the dance floor. I knew some of the girls were jealous because none of them could dance as
well
as I could.
Most people thought
I dance
d
like a girl
,
but I didn’t care
.
D
ancing made me feel free and alive.

When I heard the crowd chant,
“Go Cameron
,
go Cameron, it’s yo
’
birthday, it’s yo
’
birthday
,
”
I really
started to
get into it, doing splits and everything.

Some of the guest
s
had to move
.
O
utta my way
,
b
itches
, I thought to myself as I vogue
d
and cat
-
walked up and down my
living room
floor
.
And as much as I was enjoying the attention because all eyes were on me, I also wanted to make a statement. If our guest
s
didn’t know I was gay before, they
would
sure
ly
know
now.

Finally
,
the party came to an end around midnight
,
a
nd
M
o
ther
started putting people out, saying she had to get her beauty sleep. I didn’t mind because I was looking forward to the party that Ray and I was gonna have once he got home.
And even though I knew he was gonna be with that hoochie girlfriend of his, I still wanted to feel him inside me.

Once everyone had left and my mom and I cleaned up the mess
in the
apartment
,
I went to my room, took all my clothes off
,
and took a hot shower.
J
ust to be ready when Ray got home, I oiled my body down so it could be nice and soft.
I also
squirted some of the oil up my ass so it could be somewhat lubricated. I then put on one of my cut
-
off T-shirts
that showed most of my stomach
,
and
my
yellow panties that Ray got me
,
his favorite. 

Chapter
7

I d
id
n’t know what time it was
,
but I was startled out of my sleep
when
I heard someone b
anging
on our living room door.
I jumped up out of my bed and went into my mother’s bedroom to wake her.

“M
other
, somebody at the door,” I whispered
,
tapping on her shoulder.

“What?”

“Somebody at the door
.
”

“Go check and see who it is
. I
t might be Ray. He must have forgotten his key
.
”
S
he rolled over to go back to sleep.

I tiptoed into the living room and pe
e
ked out the peephole to see if I could see who it was
,
but no one was standing there.

“Who is it?” I asked nervously.

“This is Officer
Crawley
.
I
s
this
the
home of Mrs. Wilson?”

“Yeah
.
”

“Can I speak with her
,
please?”

“Wait a minute.”

I ran back into
M
other’s bedroom
and whispered, “M
other
, there’s a police at the door.”

“What da hell
!
W
hat he want?” she asked
,
wiping the sleep out of her eye.

I shrugged my shoulders.
“He didn’t say. He just asked to speak to you
.
”

Mother got out of bed, put her robe on
,
and headed for the front door.
I followed her
.

“Can I help you?”
she
asked through the door.

“Yes
,
Mrs.
Wilson
.
T
his is Officer
Crawley
. Can I come in?”

“What is this in regards to?”

“Are you Raymond
Watson’s mother?”

“Yes
,
I am
.
”
M
other opened the front door.
“Please come in.”

“Thank you
,
m
adam,” Officer
Crawley
responded as he walked into our living room.

“Is there something wrong with Ray
?
” Mother asked nervously.

“Well
,
Mrs. Wilson, would you mind if
I
sit down?”

“Yes
,
I do mind
,” Mother said, getting upset.
“
Now, I asked you if there was something wrong with my
child
.
”

“Well
,
m
adam, there was a disturbance at
Jefferson
High School
this evening
,
and we were called
in
.
G
unshots we
re
fired
,
and a Mr. Raymond Watson along with another young man was
rushed to emergency a little while ago.”

“Oh God
,
no, not my child
!
” Mother
’s
legs gave out
.

Officer
Crawley
caught her just in time.
 
“Easy
,
Mrs. Wilson
.
” Officer
Crawley
tried to seat my mother on the couch
.