Just Like Me (27 page)

              We curled up in bed; a T.V. was attached to the wall over the door. Taylor turned past all the bull shit channels and hit a movie. I laid my head on his chest and we both relaxed. He pulled out a remote from the dresser by my bed. He hit a certain button and the canopy rose, the netting out of the way from the T.V. I looked up at him from my place on his chest.

“This is incredible.” He wrapped his arms around me. “Seriously, it’s like a dream.”

“I thought you didn’t care about these things? It’ll always be here for you.”

              I didn’t say anything. I just tried to pay attention to the movie on the screen. It was hard to concentrate when Taylor was tracing his finger down my side.

“I could really make you uncomfortable.” He snickered.

“How?” I giggled.

“Taking my shirt off. You definitely wouldn’t be able to rest your head on me then. You’d be too embarrassed.”

              I blushed and looked back toward the movie quickly.

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh, really?”

“I can make you uncomfortable too, you know.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

              I considered it for a second. The last thing he expected was for me to be spontaneous, to initiate something wild. I leaned up and then moved over him. I saddled myself over him; my knees touched the bed on either side of his hips. His eyes widened as I bent down, my lips brushing against his ear.

“Do you have a bathing suit here?”

              He nodded. I bent down, almost touching his lips, but then bent down to brush my lips against his other ear.

“Do you have a bikini I could wear?”

              He nodded again, confusion but amusement covering his face. I leaned up, considering.

“Huh.” And then I flopped back over onto my side, making no physical contact.

“Wait, no!” He flipped over on top of me. “You can’t leave me like that.”

“Did I make you uncomfortable?”

He glanced down and back up. He let out low chuckle and slowly nodded.

“I didn’t think you’d mean uncomfortable
that
way.”

“I didn’t specify, now did I?”

“You’ve got me curious.” His eyebrows were knit and he had a crooked smile.

“I don’t think you could handle it.”

“You underestimate me.”

“You’re not ready for this.”

“I think you’re the one who isn’t ready.”

“Ok, where’s this bikini?”

              He lifted off of me and looked around the room, almost expecting it to pop out from the green walls.

“I think it’s in my room.”

“That’s comforting.” I didn’t stop to consider how he had gotten a bikini for me.

He got out of bed and opened the bedroom door up and then disappeared down the hallway. I thought briefly about following after him, but after some consideration, I stayed in place. I wasn’t sure if I had the guts to go through with the short-lived idea that had flown through my head. He reappeared in the doorway and tossed me a hot red bikini.

“Should I ask why you have this in your possession?” I was surprised that it looked like it would actually fit me. The top might be a bit big, but I could tie it tighter.

“Probably not.” I considered him for a moment and he was shaking his head. “When they redid the room for you, I asked them to also have a wardrobe ready for you. I looked into where I kept my swim gear and they had extra items for you.”

“Go get dressed in your bathing suit; I’ll meet you in your room.”

              He raised his eyebrows but shut the door behind him. I took a deep breath and stripped before I had time to change my mind. I yanked on the bikini a looked around the room, trying to locate a mirror. I finally skipped into the bathroom and gazed at my reflection, wondering if the bikini looked ok. My cheeks were flushed and my eyes were bright, and I worried that this wasn’t going to work.

              I hadn’t shown this much skin before to Taylor, the least he’d seen me in was that towel the other night.

              I stepped over to the door and opened it. I peered out into the hallway and wondered which room was Taylor’s.

              I stepped back into my room and reached the closet, not surprised that it was already lined with clothes. I yanked a red and black silk robe out of the closet, quickly putting it on and tying the piece of fabric that held everything in place.

              My bare feet padded on the floor as I reached the closest door. Taylor would probably want me near him. I tapped lightly on the door and I heard Taylor tell me to come in.

              I slowly pushed the door open, only peeking my head inside. I was thankful Taylor didn’t have a speedo on, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to handle that. The sight of his abs already was causing a heatwave through my face. He had black and white swim trunks on; it matched the black and white interior of his bedroom. The color black seemed to be a theme in his house. Just like at the rental house back in South Carolina. I looked quickly around and found what I was looking for, a bathroom.

              I stepped into his bedroom and began the walk towards his bathroom.

“Nice robe,” He remarked.

“Thanks.” I shrugged, and walked away from him.

              He followed me of course, puzzled when I stopped inside the bathroom. The bathroom followed the black and white theme; the shower was like the one back at the presidential suite at the first hotel I stayed at. It was like a glass box against a wall, but the glass was messed up looking so you couldn’t really see anything from the outside. I went over to the shower and attempted to turn it on without getting my robe wet.

“Kale?” Taylor was behind me, reaching curiously for my waist. I adjusted the temperature and turned to face him. I reached the fabric keeping my robe together and released it, letting it drop to the floor. Taylor looked me up and down and took in the sight of the red bikini. Then he swallowed. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes on my face.

              I pulled him into the shower and he shut the door behind us. His face was excited and curious as I backed him up against the wall and started kissing him. The water came down around us and quickly steamed up the glass. Taylor gripped my waist, and I parted his lips with my tongue. With that, you’d think I’d have the upper hand on things. But his grip had me pulled tight against him. He put a hand up to my back and I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling the water race between us. He paused, and then turned so I was up against the bathroom wall. He kissed down my neck and I let my hands trace down his chest. I traced my fingers over his abs, curious as the water made my touch slippery. I found my fingers at the top of his bathing suit and a soft moan escaped his lips. He readjusted me, lifting me up higher so I rested against the wall and on his hips. He gripped my thighs and I put a hand up to his face and around the back of his neck. His lips were fierce over mine, hungry for more. He pulled away and kissed down my neck.

“Do you want to?” I heard him say, breathless.

              Did I? I wasn’t sure. One part of me wanted more, wanted so badly to experience everything I’d never experienced before. I wanted him; I wanted to know what it was like.

              But at the same time, guilt was being sewn through my veins. I’d wake up and regret it. I’d regret it if we broke up. I’d spend every day of my life looking in the mirror and knowing I had don’t some morally wrong. I wanted to be with one person, that way, for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to look my future husband in the eye and tell him how many other men I had slept with. I didn’t hold it against anyone else, that was just about my brain operated.

              Taylor hesitated when I didn’t answer; he let me slip down the wall and his hands cautious now that he knew I wasn’t sure.

              But then a shrill doorbell sounded throughout the room.

“Damn it.” He muttered. We both paused and he put his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. Water dripped down both of us, sending tingles through our bodies. His hands were still low and he sighed, finally releasing his grip. He leaned over and hit the faucet to turn the water off. We both stood there for a moment, dripping, watching water swirl down the drain. He stood up straight and rubbed a hand over his mouth, not looking at me. “I guess I’d better get that.”

              I nodded and tried not to breathe hard as he hit the glass shower door and it flew open. He stepped down out of the shower and shook his head, sending water splashing everywhere. He grabbed a towel off a rack and tossed it to me. I caught it and he grabbed another one for himself.

“Just hang out for a second, I guess. I’ll be right back.”

              He was rubbing the towel over his head as he exited the bathroom still dripping from the shower. I watched as he walked out into his bedroom and toward his front door. I quickly ran the towel over me, reaching for the robe that I had left on the floor. I tied it on and quickly, but quietly, headed in the same direction.

              I stopped at the entrance of his bedroom and stayed behind as I heard the locks on his front door click open.

“Jerry, what a surprise.”

“Why the hell are you in a bathing suit?”

“Why the hell are you at my house?”
“I told you to tell me everything that went on with this girl!”

“I have told you everything.”

“Oh, and you told me about going to see her parents last night? It’s all over the television; they’re all throwing around allegations you went up there to ask her parents’ permission to marry her!”

“So what if I did? It’s none of their damn business. Tell them we’re married. Tell them we’re pregnant. Hell, while you’re at it, tell them we’ve had a love child that’s five years old.”

“What are you doing here in California, Taylor? Why are you here?”

“Maybe because I felt like being home.”

“No, she’s here isn’t she? I saw that redecoration bill you charged to your account, Taylor. I’m not an idiot. You’re asking for trouble, Taylor, big trouble. If you expect her to stick around, you had better carefully reconsider what you’re doing. You are moving her at warp speed.”

“This couldn’t have waited until tomorrow? I’m ruining my life, blah blah blah, I get it. I’m taking her up to see my dad tomorrow, my mom Sunday. I just warned you. Now, can we move on?”

              There was a pause as Jerry took in a deep breath.

“You mark my words. You’re moving her too fast and it’s going to end in a train wreck. She can’t handle all this pressure. And the media is going to have a hay day when you two split.”

“Thanks for the warning, Jerry.”

“Taylor-”             

I heard the door slam.

              Footsteps sounded on his hardwood floors and he appeared in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” He asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“Eavesdropping.” I answered honestly. He reached over to me and tugged at the fabric that held my robe together.

“Now, where were we before Jerry so rudely interrupted us?” My robe opened and Taylor leaned down and kissed my neck. He backed me up toward his bed and then he gently lowered me down. I felt my head hit the pillows as Taylor moved over me, running his hands down my stomach and toward the top of my bikini bottom. He was pulling my robe off, kissing down my collar bone. I felt a rush of heat and uncertainty.

“Wait.” I said, pushing my hand against his chest. He stopped kissing me, and his hands remained still over my hips.

“What?”

“I don’t…I’m not…”

“If you’re not on the pill, it’s ok. I’ve got-” He looked over to a dresser drawer, he made a move like he was going to get up.

“No.” I said, pulling him back toward me. He looked confused, putting a hand up to the side of my face.

“What is it?”

“I don’t think…I’m ready, for this.” I finally breathed out, waiting for him to be disappointed. I was surprised when he raised an eyebrow at me and flipped over onto his back, beside me on the bed.

“You’re not mad?” I squeaked.

“Mad? Kale, why would I be mad?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” He turned on his side, his body framing over mine. “I’m not pressuring you. It doesn’t have to be tonight. Or anytime soon, for that matter”

He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, watching me as I closed my eyes. I was finally able to properly breathe again. It didn’t have to be tonight. He was right. I didn’t have to give in just yet.

“So…you’re obviously…” He cleared his throat. “Inexperienced?”
“I guess that’s one way to put it.”

“Right, right. And that’s ok.”

“You have…?”

“Yea.” He answered quickly.

“Man,” I said, closing my eyes and cracking a smile. “What would your fan girls say if they found out I wouldn’t bang you?”

              We both laughed and I moved onto my side, he took his place behind me and began running his fingers down my back, careful not to disturb my damp bikini. I had a feeling he was tracing my scars.