Just for Now (5 page)

“He better be good to you,” I said just loud enough for her to hear me if she was really listening. She stopped. She’d heard me.

Slowly she turned back around and stared at me with a confused expression. “What does that mean?” she asked, studying my face like it had all the answers she needed.

“It means that I don’t give a shit who his brother is. If he hurts you, I’ll hurt him.”

Amanda let out a short, hard laugh and shook her head. “Really?
Really
, Preston? You care if Jason hurts me? Because I find it very hard to believe that you care about my feelings at all.” Then she spun around and walked away, slamming the door behind her.

Amanda

I would not cry. And I would stop this stupid shaking. There was a very hot, attractive, somewhat famous guy downstairs waiting on me. He didn’t make me feel cheap and unwanted. Taking a deep breath, I straightened my shoulders and smoothed the wrinkles out of my dress, then walked back down the stairs. Scanning the crowd, I found Jason immediately. He was with Sadie and Jax. They were all probably talking about me. I’m sure Sadie was explaining my performance with Preston.

Speaking to guests as I made my way through the crowd, I kept a permanent smile plastered on my face. No one would know that what I’d just done had been for anyone else but Marcus. I’d never let them see I had any feelings for Preston. My pride would keep me safe.

“I’m so sorry. I was worried that if I didn’t step in and help, we’d have a fight on our hands, and I don’t want anything to ruin tonight for Marcus and Willow,” I explained once I got to Jason, before anyone could say anything.

Jason was frowning, but it was a concerned frown. “That’s fine. You did a good job ending things.”

“Please tell me you locked him in a room so he can’t come out,” Sadie said. She was annoyed. I could hear it in her voice.

“Yeah, he is locked up. Hopefully passed out by now,” I assured her.

“I’m sorry. I have to ask this—did the guy really sleep with someone’s mom?” Jason asked.

Jax reached over and punched Jason in the arm. “Dude. Don’t.”

“I was just curious.”

“It’s her brother’s best friend. Let it go.”

“No. It’s okay. He may be one of Marcus’s best friends, but I’m aware he has issues. And yes, Jason, he probably did. You would be hard-pressed to find a female here Preston hasn’t slept with.”

Sadie’s eyebrows shot up, and I realized what I’d said. I was venting. I needed to watch my mouth. My mom always said “Loose lips sink ships.” She was right. I needed to be more careful what I spewed from my mouth.

“Weren’t we going to go down to the beach and check out the tent and band?” I asked, needing to get everyone’s mind off what I’d just said.

“Yeah, we were,” Jax replied, reaching for Sadie’s arm and leading her toward the door.

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Jason agreed, and offered me his arm. I slipped my hand into the crook of his arm, and we all headed outside.

Marcus was standing with Willow in his arms, talking to Dewayne, Rock, and Trisha pretty intensely when we walked back out the doors. Cage York, Willow’s best friend, and his girlfriend, Eva, had arrived too. They must’ve been getting filled in on the situation. Cage and Preston play baseball together, so they’re pretty tight.

“Come here, Amanda,” Marcus called out to me. I was hoping he’d forget what I’d just done, but apparently he wasn’t going to. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but I didn’t feel right letting Jason hear them talk about Preston. He wasn’t here to defend himself, and I’d already bashed him enough.

“Let me go reassure my brother that Preston is fine, and then I’ll meet y’all down there.”

Jason nodded. “Of course.”

*   *   *

If Marcus frowned any harder, the crease in his forehead was going to crack. Not a good sign. “Don’t scold me. I got him out of here, didn’t I?”

“You don’t need to stick your nose into any of Preston’s crap. He has issues you need to stay miles away from. I get that you were trying to help save the party, but I don’t like you stepping in to help Preston out. We got it. You stay away from his messes.”

I may have an absent father for the most part, but I have Marcus to make up for it. Where my daddy ignores me, Marcus hovers over me. I love him, I really do, but I don’t like being told what I can and can’t do. It was time he backed off a little. I’m eighteen years old.

“She made a smart move. Lay off and give her a little credit.” Cage stepped over and defended me. Like that would help. Marcus tolerated Cage because of Willow. He didn’t exactly care what his opinion was.

“Listen. I saw a way to help, and I did. Not a big deal. I didn’t go have a heart-to-heart with Preston. So back off. I’m a big girl now.” I shot Marcus a tight smile, and then left him standing there before he or any of the other guys could speak up. I had a date waiting on me. I wasn’t going to waste another minute talking about Preston Drake.

A hand shot out and grabbed my arm, and I glanced back to see it was Dewayne who’d stopped me, not my brother. What was his deal? Was I now going to get a lecture from him, too?

“Preston talks when he’s drunk. He talks a lot. About a lot of shit. You know what I mean? Keep your distance. I love him, but he ain’t good for you.” Dewayne’s low voice almost sounded like a rumble, but I heard every word. He’d spoken low enough that Marcus and the others couldn’t hear him. I felt my face heat up, and I jerked my arm out of his hold.

What did Dewayne know about me and Preston? Could he possibly know about that night? I’d thought it was my secret. Apparently not. My stomach turned, and I prayed I wasn’t about to get sick. It was bad enough knowing Preston had taken my virginity in a storage building on a bunch of boxes and then walked away, leaving me there alone. But knowing that someone else knew of my shame was even worse.

I had to force myself to keep from running as I walked swiftly through the crowd. I didn’t smile and pretend like everything was great. The dark beach up ahead on the outskirts of the tent and lighting was my goal. Hiding away for a few minutes while I got a grip on things was necessary.

I could hear Sadie call my name from somewhere up ahead, but I pretended like I didn’t hear her. I ran for the sand and the shadows.

I just needed a moment.

Tears burned my eyes, and I tilted my head back and blinked into the ocean breeze in an attempt to dry my tears before they ruined my face. The small sliver of hope I’d had that Preston had felt something for me was now completely extinguished. He had told someone. A moment that I wanted to remember yet wanted to wash my memory of at the same time wasn’t as private as I’d thought. Preston had talked about it, while drunk. God, I hated him. How could I have been so crazy about him when he has no redeeming qualities? I was the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.

“Amanda?” Jason’s concerned voice startled me. I hadn’t expected him to follow me out here. Although we’d met before, this was really our first time together without a crowd around us. I wanted to be alone. Not pretending for my date.

Taking a deep breath, I blinked away my tears and turned to face Jason. “Hey, sorry. The crowd and everything got to me. Fresh air and a quiet moment seemed like a good idea.”

“I just thought I’d check on you. I can go if you want to be alone.”

Yes. I wanted to be alone. But I couldn’t be rude. Jason had been really understanding so far tonight. I hadn’t been the best date. It was time to suck it up and get over myself.

“No, I’m glad you came out here. You can enjoy the quiet with me.” I smiled up at him. It was odd how similar he looked to Jax. He didn’t have the rocker swagger that Jax did, though. He was more polite and studious, almost.

“I like hiding from crowds. It’s been my thing since crowds became an issue with my brother’s fame.” The grin on his face was really cute.

“I can imagine. You don’t appear to be as outgoing as Jax.”

Jason chuckled. “No. Not even a little. Jax was always the one who liked an audience.”

“So, are you leaving with Jax and Sadie when they move her to LA?” It was still hard for me to accept the fact that Sadie was leaving. I was going to miss her so much.

“Yeah. Classes start next week for me, too.”

Jason would be going to college in California too. That was one of the reasons I didn’t feel guilty for using him to get over Preston. Not that it was working.

“Well, I think I’m ready to go back to the crowd now. You want to dance?” I asked, deciding it was time I stopped hiding at my brother’s engagement party.

“Sounds good.”

Chapter Five

Preston

You can’t leave a guy to “sleep it off” when he’s barely had anything to drink. A few shots of tequila does not a drunk Preston make. I lay back on the bed and stared at the white ceiling fan slowly spinning. Letting everyone around me think that I was just living from one party to the next had always been easy. It covered up the truth. I liked pretending to be carefree. It had always been better than the truth.

Letting Amanda Hardy think I was as shallow as I’d convinced her I was hurt like a son of a bitch. I didn’t want to see the disappointment and disgust in her eyes. The only thing that kept me from blurting out the truth while she went on and on about my sucky behavior was the fact that the truth was worse.

Reaching over, I picked up the white teddy bear lying beside my head and held it up to my nose. It was Amanda’s. It smelled like her. This was her sorry-ass father’s condo, but this had to be Amanda’s room. Staying in here wasn’t going to be possible. I’d just think about all I couldn’t have. I placed the bear back in its spot and stood up.

Marcus was my best friend. Sure, there was a group of us, but Marcus was the one I loved the most. He’d always seemed to know more than I wanted him to, but he never said anything. Instead of asking me questions like Rock had when we were kids, Marcus had brought me an extra lunch every day. He never mentioned it. He just did it. When I’d been bruised from one of my mom’s boyfriends’ drunken fits, Dewayne and Rock had asked why. Marcus had changed the subject and then slipped into the school office to get me an aspirin that he’d casually placed in my hands without explanation.

The guys were my family, but Marcus was my brother. Blood didn’t matter. He’d cared when no one else had known there was something to care about. I had to let this fascination I had with his sister go. I also needed to get downstairs and celebrate with him. He’d found someone worthy of him. Being locked away and sulking over Jason Stone showing up with Amanda was unfair. Marcus didn’t deserve this.

I walked down the stairs and into the living room. As I entered the room, Willow smiled at me and motioned me over. She was surrounded by guests, but her attention was on me. I could see the concern in her eyes. If anyone understood my life even a little, it would be Willow. She’d had a suck-ass family tree too.

“You’re back,” she replied, with a smile to let me know she was glad I’d returned.

“Yeah, I figured things had time to cool off. I didn’t want to miss tonight. I’m sorry about earlier.” I stopped at that. I couldn’t explain any more to her.

Willow shrugged one shoulder. “No worries. I think the guys were just worried about that guy causing a stir. He was a friend of a guest. He’s been escorted out.”

I reached behind her to the bartender and grabbed a beer. It was safer than the tequila shots.

Willow raised an eyebrow. “Ever heard the saying ‘Liquor before beer, never sicker’?”

I tipped the bottle to my lips, took a swig, and grinned. “Sweetheart, it’s liquor before beer, never fear.”

Willow laughed. “Guess you’d know this better than anyone.”

“He’s been drinking before he was old enough to shave,” Marcus drawled as he came up behind Willow and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Willow tilted her head back, and I watched as Marcus bent his head to capture her mouth with his. They were so fucking sweet it made me sick. It also made me jealous as hell. I would never get that. I could never love like that. Ever.

“Glad you came back down to the party. I knew you weren’t drunk when Amanda took you up there,” Marcus said, once he’d released his fiancée’s lips.

“Yeah, I figured I’d given the guy time to leave or calm down.”

Marcus nodded. “I walked him to the door. Trisha said she was sorry. She told Krit he could bring a few friends. That was one of them.”

Krit was Trisha’s brother and the lead singer in a band. He didn’t normally have the best crowd surrounding him, and he traveled with a posse.

“Well, Krit’s friends have gotten classier. That guy was the son of a neurosurgeon in Mobile.”

Women always talked. They told me about their husbands and how they were neglected. I didn’t need to hear an excuse as to why they hired me, but they always felt like they had to give me one. It had been my first time with that woman. Normally, I kept my client list small. I had the usuals, but she’d been a friend of a client, so I’d agreed.

“So you did sleep with his mom?” Marcus asked. The disbelief wasn’t there. He knew. He always knew.

I sighed and took another drink of my beer. Of course I did. I wasn’t going to answer this, though. Not tonight.

“Listen, either you dance with your girl, or I’m going to,” I said, shooting Willow a grin. She knew I was kidding, but I loved getting Marcus all riled up.

“Back off, lover boy, or I’ll be the one kicking your ass,” he replied in an amused tone.

“Dancing sounds like fun. I want to go see Amanda and her new friend, too. I saw them walk down there,” Willow replied.

My somewhat good mood vanished. I wouldn’t be going down to the dance floor. I couldn’t handle that. I’d want to dance with her just to see if she felt as good as I knew she would.

“She’s with a Stone. Pisses me off. She don’t need to get mixed up in that world. He might not be a rock star, but he is awfully close to it,” Marcus snarled.

Willow laughed and slapped his arm. “He seems like a nice guy. Don’t judge him because of his family.”